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Archive for the ‘Oni Press’ Category

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus.

[READ: June 2023] Dancing on the Volcano

I feel like I haven’t really enjoyed that many books from Oni Press lately.  Although this one was pretty great–welcome back!

In 2004. Floor de Groete started a site doyouknowflo.nl where he published a daily comic.  he wrote about himself and his boyfriend Bas.  He loved doing it but he wanted to talk about more than just his daily life. So in 2012 he wrote this full graphic novel.  And now it is getting translated into English by Laura Watkinson.

The first chapter shows Floor (I love that he makes himself so very tiny) with a very large man, Sander.  They are working together to write an article about a volcano.  Floor is supposed to take pictures, but he is also greatly missing Bas.  It’s the first time they’ve been apart.  Sander, loves this trip and doesn’t care about Floor’s feelings at all.  Floor is easily aggravated and not afraid to let Sander know it.  Flo keeps thinking about how there’s only a few days left of the trip but he keeps missing out on all of the amazing things that Sander is enjoying (which makes him even more angry). (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: hiatus.

[READ: May 9, 2023] Silk Hills

I haven’t been reading that many graphic novels lately.  My daughter made the excellent point that our local library has an excellent graphic novel collection but that it hasn’t been updated in quite a while.  So I was pleased t o see this book at work, especially since it was from Oni Press, a reliably weird publisher.

I don’t know any of the contributors: authors Brian Level (has written for Star Wars and Marvel) and Ryan Ferrier (has written lots of indie books and written for Marvel and DC).  Crank! is Christopher Crank who has done lettering for just about everyone.  Kate Sherron has a very distinctive visual style (which I see a lot of people don’t like).  I thought it was pretty cool and unusual–it reminded me a bit of Jeff Lemire’s style.

I have been listening to a book of short stories from The X-Files, and this book immediately made me think of the X-Files.  It’s also the kind of story that either should have been longer or should have had fewer hallucinatory passages and had more explanatory pages.

Beth Wills is a former Marine turned private investigator.  She lives in New York City but is sent to an unnamed rural community called Silk Hills.  It must be pretty far, as a gas station attendant remarks on her New York plates, but we don’t know exactly where Silk Hills is.

I enjoyed the interactions with Wills and the gas station attendant also a former military man (out six years). (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: August 2021] Secrets of Camp Whatever

I’m not sure who brought this book home, my wife or my daughter, but I was pretty delighted to read it.

Two kids are heading to the town of Nowhere with their parents. They are moving into their father’s mother’s old house on the outskirts of town.  It’s a small town and when they pull into the local diner, the waitress tells them to turn around and go back home… that place is haunted.  But the local museum owner, Henry Person, tells them not to believe that nonsense.

He says that Nowhere is known for unusual things–monsters in the lakes, elves in the forest, even a bigfoot sighting.  But the fog is so thick no one can confirm anything.

Willow is going to summer camp and is not particularly pleased about it.  Her younger brother Gryphon is not going to camp, but he really wants to.  Where’s the justice?  When their mother hears about the fog and the creepiness around the camp she wonders whether they should even send WIllow.

But the kids’ dad when to Camp … Whatever like a million years ago and he is pretty excited for Willow to go.  He can’t wait for her to hear all about the camp at the opening campfire.  Even if a kid did go missing the year he was there… and was never heard from again.

But Mr Person says the camp hired a new camp director … Clarence Tooter, a big game hunter.  He’ll keep the place safe.

A nice touch is that Willow uses a hearing aid, but it’s not a big deal to the story.    Except that Mr Tooter believes she is deaf and so he yells at here whenever he sees her.  And that sign language is very important to the story (although the reader doesn’t need to know it). (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE & THE MELTING PARAISO U.F.O.-The Ripper at the Heaven’s Gates of Dark (2011).

I’m not sure why this era of AMT seems so readily available on CD, but this is another collection of songs from the lineup of Tsuyama Atsushi – monster bass, voice, soprano sax, cimpo flute, soprano recorder, acoustic guitar, cosmic joker Higashi Hiroshi – synthesizer, dancin’king Shimura Koji – drums, latino cool Kawabata Makoto – electric guitar, electric bouzouki, sitar, organ, percussion, electronics, speed guru.

It has 5 songs and comes in at just around 75 minutes.

The album titles tend to be amusing twists on classic rock albums (The Piper at the Gates of Dawn), but usually the music doesn’t sound all that classic rock.  But on this album, they changed that.

“Chinese Flying Saucer” is 12 minutes long and opens with a kind of siren sound going high then low and then a big old guitar riff launches.   It feels like a classic rock riff, but it is original.  When Tsuyama starts singing, the whole thing comes together like a Led Zeppelin tribute.  The riff is classic Zep the vocals (indecipherable as they are) are tally Robert Plant–echoed and high pitched with lots of moaning. There’s even a “Kashmir”-like riff in the middle.  It’s remarkably fun and really accessible.  The big non-Zeppelin moment comes with Kawabata’s solo which is just insanity.

After about four minutes the song shifts gears and takes off for outer space with rumbling bass and soaring keys.  They jam for about five minutes and then return to the initial riff to end the song.

“Chakra 24” is only four minutes long and is a slower sitar based song with raspy vocals.  It’s quite pretty.

But the brevity is soon gone with the fifteen minute “Back Door Man Of Ghost Rails Inn.”  It’s a slow droney song with sitar and lots of keys.  This time when Tsuyama starts singing it’s in a very Jim Morrison style–ponderous and over the top.  There’s even a spoken word part.  Imagine in Morrison’s voice “some people coming here… some people coming here and…” There’s some wild organ trippiness in this song that stretched in ways The Doors never did.

The cleverly titled “Shine on You Crazy Dynamite” is almost 22 minutes long and sounds like old school pink Floyd.  Not “Crazy Diamond” era, but earlier, more like “Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun.”  Kawabata’s solos really shine on this one, with squeaky echoes and a metal bars slide up the neck.  The keyboards also sound like Richard Wright.   After 17 minute or so off wild guitar freak out, the guitar fades back a bit to let the pulsing bass take over with the echoing voices continuing to the end.

“Electric Death Mantra” is a twenty minute chill out.  It’s a slower piece with lots of high pitched spacey notes floating around, which Kawabata plays bouzouki and Tsuyama sigs (in his normal style).  With about eight minutes left things get really quiet with a quiet rumbling drums and echoed sounds and notes from the guitar while overdubbed vocals chant and chant.  Then it slowly starts to build up again, with faster and faster bouzouki and Kawabata’s wailing solo.

[READ: May 25, 2021] Rogue Planet

Oni Press was one of my favorite young imprints when I first started reading graphic novels.  Then I lost track of it.  So I was pleased to see this book from them.

I was a little turned off by it because it happened to be one of several books I brought home that just seemed to revel in blood and guts (was there a run on red ink recently?)

The book turned out to be (totally gross) interesting.  And I was pleased with the way it handled a somewhat complicated story in one volume.

The book opens on the rogue planet.  Life on the planet consists of a bunch of ET- looking creatures.  The older one speaks to its son, complimenting him on his intelligence before sacrificing him to the giant crystal that is growing out of the ground.  The giant crystal, which is covered in and surrounded by flesh and eyes and teeth and all kinds of gross stuff.  It’s really horrible-looking. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: STUMPTOWN: Dex’s Mixtape (2020)

One of the fun things about Stumptown is Dex’s car–an old beat up Ford that she loves.

It has a cassette stuck in the player and the player goes on and off seemingly at will.  I don’t think the show has explored all of the music on the tape yet, but it keep the soundtrack squarely in the 1980s.

This Spotify playlist has 90 minutes worth of music that could easily fit on the cassette in the car.

The only discrepancy I have it is that “Yellow Ledbetter” from Pearl Jam didn’t come out until 1992.  We haven’t heard it in the car yet, although we have heard it in her house, so we’ll just consider that song a bonus cut.

Here’s the track list

  • SIMPLISTICS-Heat of the Night
  • BLONDIE-Heart of Glass
  • ELTON JOHN, KIKI DEE-Don’t Go Breaking My Heart
  • TIFFANY-I Think We’re Alone Now
  • BLUE SHOES-Hey
  • NEIL DIAMOND-Sweet Caroline
  • THE O’JAYS-Love Train
  • ASIA-Heat of the Moment
  • CAPTAIN & TENNILLE-Love Will Keep Up Together
  • PRETENDERS-Brass In Pocket
  • HALL & OATES-Private Eyes
  • CHAKA KHAN-I’m Every Woman
  • KISS-I Was Made for Lovin’ You
  • SNAP-Power
  • AIR SUPPLY-All Out of Love
  • PAT BENATAR-We Belong
  • PLAYER-Baby Come Back
  • EURHYTHMICS-Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves
  • CYNDI LAUPER-Girls Just Want to Have Fun
  • MISSING PERSONS-Walking In L.A.
  • WILSON PHILLIPS-Hold On
  • XTC-Dear God
  • PEARL JAM-Yellow Ledbetter (1992)

What’s great about the soundtrack is that the rest of the show is contemporary and very cool, with some really good song choices.  But I love that they can have this unexpected throwback musical story running through as a commentary.

[READ: March 20, 2020] Stumptown Volume 1

I had heard promising reviews of a new show called Stumptown.  It is based on this graphic novel series from Greg Rucka (who has written some amazing books over the years).  When I saw that the graphic novels were still available (possibly with new covers–the publishing history is a little confusing), I knew I had to check it out.

I have since watched most of the episodes (I’m a little behind) and I am hooked.

This book is more or less the start of the first episode of the show, but the show has changed things (and basically made the ending very different).

But before I get to the story I want to comment on Matthew Southworth’s drawings which are really terrific.  His style is realistic but rough around the edges which works perfectly for this storyline.  There’s a lot of impressionistic moments where you can feel the person moving (or being moved) without the need for action lines.  Also, the casting of the show was really perfect.  Cobie Smulders is a dead ringer for Dex Parios in the book and Cole Sibus is amazingly cast as Ansel (Southworth does a great job showing Ansel’s Down Syndrome).  Cole Sibus is really outstanding in the role–his comic timing is excellent.  The only character who looks nothing like the book is Jake Johnson as Grey.  However, Jake Johnson is awesome and he is absolutely perfect for the role–I feel like he’s far more interesting than the comic book character (although in fairness, Grey doesn’t have that much to do in the book). (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: COURTNEY BARNETT-“Dawned on Me” (from WILCOvered, UNCUT Magazine November 2019).

The November 2019 issue of UNCUT magazine had a cover story about Wilco.  It included a 17 track CD of bands covering Wilco (called WILcovered or WILCOvered).  I really enjoyed this collection and knew most of the artists on it already, so I’m going through the songs one at a time.

This is a pretty standard cover of this song with Courtney Barnett on acoustic guitar with no accompaniment..  Her voice sounds great and it’s fun to hear her sing this in her Australian accent.  I definitely miss the wonderful bass line in the song, but her version is lovely.

[READ: February 2, 2020] Space Battle Lunchtime Volume 2

The book opens with Peony in a cell.  The disembodied voice shows that she signed a contract to be on Cannibal Coliseum. It is signed Peggy, ha.  They tell her she’ll be chopping or being chopped in an hour.

She says that she can’t cut up and cook someone.  The voice says “It’s called Can-nibal Coliseum not Can’t-ibal…”

Peony realizes the she has her phone so she turns it on and sees NO BARS.  You’re in space, what did you expect.

Back at the Space Battle Lunchtime set, it is revealed that Peony left a note–she forfeited.  But the cameraman says that doesn’t sound like her. Neptunia says that Peony bailed on their date as well.  And, what a surprise, Chef Melonhead has offered to fill in for the missing Peony.

Neptunia and the camera guy look at footage of the  loading doc and see that Peony was taken by a Cannibal Coliseum van.  (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: BUILT TO SPILL-“Bloody Rainbow” (2020).

What happens when one of your favorite bands releases an album of covers of an artist that you think is so outrageously overrated that you pretty much hate him?

Yep, I’m the indie poster boy who cannot stand Daniel Johnston.  Everyone that I like and listen to seems to believe that his music is a gift direct from god.

I have heard some of his earlier songs when he could actually sing and I found them to be okay.  But most of my exposure to him is his later work when he couldn’t.  And I can’t help but think there’s some element of exploitation involved as well.

But whatever, his songs are simple an fairly catchy even if lyrically they are questionable.

I had no idea that Johnston had recruited Built to Spill to be his backing band for some of his final shows in 2017.  This album comes from the rehearsals for the tour.

This is the first song I’ve heard from the album and here’s what I learned.

I could listen to Doug Martsch sing anything.  This helps a lot.

Musically the song is exceptionally simplistic.  No problem there, lots of songs are simple.

The Built to Spill band sounds fantastic.  This is the trio format of Martsch, Steve Gere on drums and Jason Albertini on bass.

So basically, if the whole album sounds like this, I could absolutely see me enjoying it quite a lot.  Simple fun weird songs, sung by someone who can sing.  What’s not to like?

Just as long as I don’t have to listen to the originals.

[READ: February 3, 2020] Space Battle Lunchtime Vol. 1

I’m always intrigued by Oni Press books that look kind if un-professional. I’m not exactly sure what I mean by that, but many of their books, this one included, don’t look like they are “proper” graphic novels.  I think that’s what first attracted me to the press, that these stories looked like something I could do.  The artwork is good and most of the artists have their own style, but they look more homemade than studio produced.

Space Battle Lunchtime epitomizes that to me.   It feels warm and loved and personalized.  A story that Riess had to tell and enjoyed telling.

We open in a small bakery as Peony is putting the finishing touches on some pastries.  A frog-like creature walks in (on two legs) and asks for some Coo-fee lattes.  Then she notices the cakes and remarks about how cute they are.  While she is talking to them she gets a phone call.  Then she asks Peony if she has what it takes to be The Greatest Chef in the Galaxy.  After a second Peony says Absolutely.

Seconds later, Penny is at an alien television studio.  She says she thought Galaxy was the theme…not the location.  But she has very little time to settle in before it’s show time.

The rules are simple–impress the judges and win a 20,000 solarbuck prize.  Oh and if Peony loses, the frog-creature will lose her job (because she has screwed up too many times before). (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: DEATH LURKS-“Happiness Pie” (1996).

After Grivo took GLeeMONEX, he went from being a dark man embracing darkness into a happy man who loves happiness.  In pie form.

What’s in this pie?

Two cups love
A cup and a half of understanding
a tablespoon of good old-fashioned compassion
sugar to taste
and the ovens … are our hearts

This song, like the other Death Lurks songs was written by Craig Northey of Odds.  And while the lyrics are deliberately over the top treacle, the song is top-notch.

The jangly guitars sound just right and you can easily start to sway along.

Much like this movie was all about drugs, this song is like a gateway into pop music.  You listen because it is so silly and easy to mock.  But you slowly start to get into it because the music s really catchy.  And soon enough you like pop music as well!

True story.

[READ: January 20, 2020] “Another Castle: Grimoire”

This story was written by Andrew Wheeler and illustrated by Paulina Ganucheau. It was published as a five issue arc and collected in this one volume.

In the Kingdom of Beldora a heart finch appears on a branch outside the window of princesses Artemisia (Misty).

Her lady in waiting is thrilled at the good omen, but he princess recognizes that it is not actually a heart finch.  She realizes it as a spy and puts a pair of scissors through it and it immediately disintegrates.  Then the princess if off to defend the kingdom–Shadelings are spying on them.

The Shadelings are run by Lord Badlug.  It has been ten years since he’s done anything to their kingdom, but hey can’t forget his treachery.

Misty’s father tells her to settle down and go back to her friends.  But Misty knows what she is doing.  She runs up to the throne and grabs The Leveler–the only sword that can kill Lord Badlug. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: THE HOOTERS-“All You Zombies” (1985).

WXPN played this song on the day after Halloween and the DJ said she couldn’t believe they hadn’t played it as part of their Halloween show.

It made me laugh about what people consider a Halloween song (and I know I need to let up on this).  Like so many other songs, the simple fact that there’s a monster reference in the title does not make the song a Halloween song.

Indeed, this song is about as far from a Halloween song as you can get.

The song itself is catchy as anything.  A great guitar riff and some tension-building synths support these rather dramatic lyrics:

Holy Moses met the Pharaoh
Yeah, he tried to set him straight
Looked him in the eye,
“Let my people go!”
Holy Moses on the mountain
High above the golden calf
Went to get the Ten Commandments
Yeah, he’s just gonna break ’em in half!
Interestingly, there’s no real chorus to the song.  The “All you zombies” part follows the same musical and vocal pattern.  The third verse is, like the first, Biblical.
No one ever spoke to Noah,
They all laughed at him instead
Workin’ on his ark,
Workin’ all by himself
Only Noah saw it comin’,
Forty days and forty nights,
Took his sons and daughters with him,
Yeah, they were the Israelites!

The Hooters guys say there was no explicit message to the song.  A 1985 interview with the Chicago Tribune, co-writer Eric Bazilian (with Rob Hyman) said

We really weren’t thinking at all when we wrote it. We were working on something else, and, true to the spirit of the song, it just came to us, like a vision. We were sitting there working on another song, and all of a sudden we started singing, ‘All you mmm-hhhmm-mmm.’ Then I heard something about Moses in my head, and I started singing, ‘Holy Moses.’

We just chased it down. We stopped what we were doing to go after this thing, and an hour later, the song was written, start to finish. We’re still trying to really understand the song. People ask us what it’s about, and while there’s a lot of heavy stuff in there, the weird thing is we didn’t consciously put it there. Who knows? Maybe in some bizarre way it came from somewhere else through us.

Interestingly, it got banned on several stations and there were some Christian stations that refused to play it.

So, not Halloween-related at all, but super catchy and lyrically unexpected.

Also interesting is that Hyman and Bazilian went on to work with Joan Osborne on her album Relish, with Eric writing “One Of Us” another religiously themed song.

[READ: September 2, 2019] Dead Weight

I haven’t read a graphic novel by Oni Press in a while.  They were once my go-to comic book publisher.

Then they stopped doing single issues and started publishing only graphic novels.  Nothing wrong with that but I had been collecting single issues back then, not books, so they fell off my radar.  I have to get them back on my radar because I really do enjoy their books.

I didn’t know what this was about, but the title and cover art appealed to me, so I grabbed it.

This story is set at a fat camp–Camp Bloom.  We meet many of the kids who are there for the summer as well as the counselors who are there to help them get through the summer. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: ARI LENNOX-Tiny Desk Concert # 895 (September 25, 2019).

I had never heard of Ari Lennox.  And I assume I will never hear of her again after this show.

I gather she is popular and respected, but as soon as I heard the sounds that came out as the first song opened, I knew I’d never be listening to her again and when she sang in her sweet R&B voice “Why not tell me all the mother fucking things” several times, I knew she’d never get played on the radio.

So who is Ari Lennox?  The blurb is surprisingly unhelpful.

Earlier this Spring, Lennox staked her claim not only on J. Cole’s Dreamville imprint as the sole female artist but also in the upper echelon of R&B with her debut album, Shea Butter Baby.

I don’t know who J.Cole is either, but I guess I’m supposed to.

Turns out that cursing is in no way atypical for her.

Her nuanced but explicit — and sometimes lyrically graphic — approach to seemingly surface-level emotions and situations immediately struck a chord with fans.

The lyrics are particularly disarming because the music is mostly smooth twinkly keys from Chris Worthy with simple drums and percussion from CJ Trusclair and Stanley Banks Jr.

In between songs, she seems very sweet complimenting the women in the audience and just being genuinely pleasant.  Then she made me laugh with this comment

I know you’re here and a little young but this next song is called “Pussy Pop.” [pause] Jesus.

I don’t know if the first song “Speak to Me” gets airplay, but there’s no way “Pop” does with these lyrics

Pop this pussy
For you tonight
Will you promise? Baby
Won’t you make a promise?
That you’ll make me your wife

If you really love me
I’ll fuck you good
Fuck you good, fuck you good

She gets some vocal help from Dave James, although I’m not sure who he is either.

“New Apartment” is up next.  She introduces it saying, “I need you to bust it up for me, seriously everyone 50 and up I need you up front bustin it.”  Musically it’s a bit more interesting with a cool bass line from Jerome Lawrence.  The middle of the song features a very funny call-and response as she tries to get the NPR crowd to sing along:

Everybody say “Get the fuck out” which they do.  Then she goes on “Get the fuck out my apartment.  Fuck that shit that you’re talkin’.  What the fuck is you talkin’ about?”  The audience does sing along but they are subdued, as usual.  She jokes, “Don’t be shy.  Are you all religious?  Whats going on?”  At the end of the song she says, “You all are so sweet and holy.  Thank you so much for stepping outside of your comfort zones and cursing with me.”

“Shea Butter Baby” is my favorite song.  It’s got a rocking Prince vibe with a great guitar solo from Taylor Gamble.  She says, “I made it for my sexy brown queens because we’re sexy and fun.”  Midway through the song she steps back and says, “Now welcome J. Cole, y’all.”  The room goes silent apparently in huge anticipation until they realize she is joking and everyone laughs loudly.  I guess J.Cole is a big deal.

But whatever, it’s a funny moment and she certainly won me over.  So I wish her well as long as I don’t have to hear her music again.

[READ: July 2, 2019] Scooter Girl

I loved Chynna’s Blue Monday series.  I started getting the individual issues of Scooter Girl when it started, but I feel like I may have never gotten them all.  I did however get this collected book.  The interesting thing is that I thought I’d like to read it again, but when I started treading it I realized that I must have never read it at all.    I certainly didn’t recognize very much of it if I did.  In fairness, this was 14 years ago, but I doubt that this story would have vacated my head entirely.

So I love everything about Chynna’s “deal.”  I love her drawing style–her nods to manga in a westernized story.  I love her taste in music (she’s the reason why I started including “soundtracks” in my post in the first place., because all of her scenes have them.  (Although this soundtrack in no way accompanies this story).  I also love reading about the whole mod scene (and that she make it seem so much bigger than I assume it actually is).  I also love that her women are kick-ass.

And that’s why I was so disappointed in the ending of this story.

I was particularly disappointing because in Nabiel Kana’s introduction he says:

Ultimately, though, it’s he unexpected that makes Scooter Girl such a special story.  You think you’ve got it all worked it.  You think you know what you’re in for.  You’re wrong.

But I wasn’t surprised or wrong.

Everything about his story says these two people hate each other and they are obviously going to fall in love by the end.  And (spoiler alert) that’s what happens.  And that’s why I was so bummed.  Not because people shouldn’t fall in love, but because Ashton Archer is such a shit, such a horrifying man, that there’s no way Chynna should have allowed her amazing protagonist to fall for him.  Certainly in the #metoo world, this story would never fly.

The story begins with the King’s Classic.  This is a huge scooter rally in San Francisco: top mods and die-hard scooterists, whose main purpose was impressing everyone around them…themselves above all, of course.  Cut to some classic Chynna scenes of mods–beautiful boys and girls dancing, making out, and sitting on scooters.  Her art is always wonderful.

Then we meet Ashton.  Ashton is the greatest thing in town.  He hooks up with who he wants when he wants.  He has sex with women and tosses them aside.  But he is so groovy and wonderful that no one elver seems to catch on.  They just want him to spin records for them.   He tells us that the men in his family (the Archers) have always been this magnetic.  His grandfather had an affair with Clara Bow, Constance Talmadge and Louise Brooks.   The family is smart, charismatic, attractive, and rich.

Then a girl on a silver special rode up, her name was Margaret Sheldon.  She looked at Ashton and he was suddenly a clumsy idiot.  He actually crashes his bike in front of her.  Obviously he is upset by this but he gets a lot of sympathy in school the next day.  Until he sees that she has started school there too. As soon as he tries to talk to her he falls down the stairs.

We don’t really know what she thinks about this guy who continually falls on his ass or his face in front of her until we see her overhearing one of his mates ask him if he ever goes out with the same girl twice “only if she gives amazing head.”  They also say that the new girl has got a nice mouth on her.  Clearly she is pissed.  She immediately goes to the girls room and rats out what she just heard.  And the slaps come fast and furious.

As he becomes persona non grata at school, he decides to flee and heads off to San Diego (as you do in high school).

Four years pass and he’s got his mojo back.  He’s spinning in San Diego and is doing great.  Until he sees her on the dance floor.  Did she follow him?  Is it coincidence?  Well, all of his flubs come back–this time jeopardizing his spinning career.

He decides that he’s going to get closer to her to find out ways to torment her.  He befriends her brother.  Her brother is a cool guy, not too happy about hanging out with Ashton.  But they soon find that they have some things in common and actually become friends.  Bu the whole time, Ashton is messing with her stuff–hiding her keys, popping her tires, causing irritations.  But every time he tries to do anything around her he gets messed up big time.  His mojo has vanished.

He goes to visit his grandpa in the nursing home.  His grandpa tells a lengthy story about an Arhcer who lived 400 years ago during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I.  The Archer man was a stud of course, but when the women got wise to him, they put a curse on him.  That curse lives to this day when a woman from that family comes around.  His grandpa says the only solution is to kill her.

And so, strengthening his resolve, he deices he will kill her.   Of course all the attempts go horribly wrong.  So he decides to hire someone to do it for him.  This guy is a local drug dealer with a reputation (the reason he has such a bad reputation is quite hilarious).

Of course this doesn’t work and even more bad things happen to Ashton.

After all of this what on earth could he possibly do to make her fall for him at all?  It’s probably not worth the revelation.  Which is a shame because the individual scenes and the strength of Meg up until then is pretty fantastic.

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