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Archive for July, 2017

Alice McDermott–“Home” (Harper’s, September 2016)

Posted in Alice McDermott, Canadian Music, Harper's, Humiliation, Marriage Trouble, Parenting, Pregnancy, Racism, Rheostatics, Sex, Short Story, tagged on July 12, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-The Rivoli, Toronto, ON (November 11, 1989).

“This is not the best sounding show – it sounds like a 25-year-old soundboard from a small club which is what it is – It is very interesting though as it is from a poorly represented period between Greatest Hits and Melville.”

The notes also say:

It contains early versions of Northern Wish, Aliens, Record Body Count, Christopher, King Of The Past, Horses, Chanson Les Reulles, Queer and When Winter Comes. Horses refers to Ozzy getting caught on the high voltage wire. Queer doesn’t have the ending portion yet, lyrics to Soul Glue are not quite the same etc. Plus a bunch of songs which were not played often such as Seems Like, Uptake, Poor Mouth and As I Was Going Down The Stairs (which sounds like it was a precursor to Triangles On The Walls).

I don’t think it’s a precursor actually, but that’s just me.

Northern Wish has a lot of hiss and a rather disconcerting echo on Martin’s vocals. The hiss comes and goes on a few songs, but is mostly absent.

“Aliens” has some notable lyric changes.  “Woodstuck” gets the CSNY intro (which he says they never do anymore).  In this version they sing in silly falsetto.

Northern Wish, Aliens, Record Body Count and Christopher sounds pretty much the same (and very good), although Christopher has some interesting sounds on guitar strings–maybe from Dave?–during the solo.  Christopher: “That was about Etobicoke, where we’re from.” and this [“King of the Past”] is about our trip to Winnipeg (with the disconcerting lyric change: “I won’t close my eyes–oh nevermind” instead of “I won’t close my eyes to the passage of time.”

As the intro to “Horses,” Dave asks, “Hey Mr lighting guy can you make it look like the hull of a freighter?”  or “can you make me look like thee tar of the band?” “Dave Clark responds: “Yes, just turn around and show your ass.”  The song totally rocks, but it’s really weird not hearing the audience sing along to “Holy Mackinaw, Joe.”  I trust they responded appropriately the awesomeness of the ending of the song.

After the song they have “the ceremonial exchanging of the instruments (that we can’t play).”  Martin says he got a book out of the library about ghosts across Canada.  And he wrote this song about it.  Dave interjects, This is dedicated to Jim Hughes.  Then Martin says, “That’s the first time I’ve ever spoken on stage.”  The lyric is “As I was going up the stairs, I met a man who wasn’t there” played with accordion, by Tim I think! (apparently the poem is called “Antigonish”).  They continue with the accordion on “What’s Going On” (which gets cut off).

You gotta stand up for three minutes and 20 seconds while they play the drum-heavy “Chanson Les Reulles” (which Dave says he can’t understand).  They play “Queer” and mess it all up: Clark says “don’t you hate it when the drummer counts in?”  It has a really lengthy intro and no ending.

“This is a song Martin wrote I have no idea what it’s about.  All you guys and girls at the bar, there’s plenty of room up front.”  Seem Like” is a quiet song with some dark lyrics and a cool effects filled guitar break.  “Poor Mouth” is a slow mournful ballad by Bidini (with some loud growls at the end of each section).

They say “It’s hard to tell if we stink or not.”  Clark asks, “Hey Dave, if you were hiding from a guy with a gun, would you stick your fluorescent yellow flag out or would you hide it under your camouflage jacket?”  Not sure if that is an introduction to “When Winter Comes” or not, but the song sounds great.

Dave then does a poem which is kind of stupid (like usual).  Then they play “Good on the Uptake” they played a lot but never officially recorded.  It’s got a lot of their early new wave style but with Martin’s wild guitars.  It segues into a wildly chaotic “PROD.”  Midway through Bidini wanders into the crowd.  He tries to get the audience to sing.  Some do, but one guy speaks it, “oh no, you have to sing melodiously.  That’s why we came out here.”

For the final song, called “Grant’s Song in G,” Clark shouts, “Grant? Sober enough to play drums?  Come on up.”  It’s all silliness for about a minute and then Clark starts singing an intense anti-drug song: “well you had your chance / and you blew it / up your nose / in your arm / in the car at the end of that…” When he shouts “Take it away Marty,” the tape ends.

[READ: August 28, 2016] “Home”

I hate when the first sentence of a story throws you.  I don’t know if it was the typographical layout, but I had to read this sentence three times before it sank in: “Lee was the daughter of his mother’s hairdresser.”

Once unpacked, it made perfect sense.  The He is the main character of the story.  Jim had heard about Lee for years.  She as in an abusive relationship and finally got out. Jim’s mother told him that Lee was looking for a lawyer (which Jim is).  He initially refused but then agreed to take her out to dinner because “she’s a beautiful girl.”

Jim’s ex-wife was pretty, sure, but Lee is stunning.  He can’t believe that he is having dinner and then seeing her in his own house later that night. (more…)

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Geoff Dyer–“Tennis Lessons: The meaning of the game” (Harper’s, September 2016)

Posted in Andy Murray, Book Reviews, Canadian Music, David Foster Wallace, Geoff Dyer, Gerald Marzorati, Harper's, Lleyton Hewitt, Neil Young, Rafael Nadal, Rheostatics, Roger Federer, Steve Miller, Stompin' Tom Connors, Tennis, William Skidelsky, tagged on July 11, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Railway Club Vancouver (March 16, 1988).

This is a “very good sounding show considering it is from 1988. This has a mix of unreleased songs, Greatest Hits songs, Melville songs and even a couple that would end up on Whale Music.”

Like the 1987 show here, this is also their last night in Vancouver. It’s hard to believe that previous show was the same band, as just a few months later (Nov-Mar), the sets are radically different.

It opens with the end of “Lyin’s Wrong,” and then moves into a fun version of Stompin’ Tom’s “Bridge Came Tumbling Down,” and then one of my favorite unreleased songs: “Woodstuck.”

The opening is to the tune of Neil Young’s “Needle and the Damage Done”

I called on Crosby and I called on Nash / I asked them if they want to buy some hash / Oh the deal is done / Hanging out with Stephen Stills, I asked him if he wants to buy some pills / Oh the deal is done.

And then the main body is a rocking bluesy number with the chorus: “You can’t go back to Woodstock baby, you were just two years old.   You weren’t even born” and a big chant of “BAD KARMA!”

Things slow down with a version of “Triangles on the Walls.”

During the banter, Dave Clark talks about going up Grouse Mountain in his jeans and he says he was automatically a “Wofuh”–as soon as you get into the skis you’re going to start saying “Woah… fuck.”

A great sounding “Dope Fiends” is followed by “Green Sprouts” which is “the silliest song of all… about the worms of New Jersey.”  “What’s Going On” has an accordion!  And “Italian Song” has them singing in over the top Italian with an almost ska beat and melody.

There’s a goofy, slap funk cover of “Take the Money and Run.”  It’s fast and rocking, but they leave out the signature five claps after some verses.  Nevertheless there are some great harmonies at the end.

They play an unreleased song “Sue’s Mining Town” which is a bit of a rocker, and then one from Greatest Hits (released the previous year) called “Churches and Schools.”  The set ends with a slow and pretty “Higher and Higher.”

This is the only place you can hear “Italian Song” and “Sue’s Mining Town” and one of the few places you can hear “Woodstuck” (except for this video)

[READ:August 28, 2016] Tennis Lessons

I’ve enjoyed some stories by Dyer but I was actually reading this because he reviews the new David Foster Wallace collection String Theory: David Foster Wallace on Tennis.

But it turns out that this is not so much a book review as a delightfully funny discussion of Dyer’s own tennis playing and how he also wanted to write a book about tennis–but never did.

Dyer proves to be a funny protagonist. In 2008, (age 50) he was about to sell his novel to a new publisher and he imagined writing a book about taking up tennis at age 50. Dyer is British and the popularity and success of Andy Murray was making tennis very popular in Britain again.  It seems like a great idea.

And then Dyer is honest with us:

as a perennial bottom feeder for whom writing has always doubled as a way of getting free shit, I as also hoping that a top-notch coach might be willing to give e free lessons in return for the massive exposure guaranteed by inclusion in the book.

(more…)

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Sarah Manguso–“In Short: Thirty six ways of looking at the aphorism” (Harper’s, September 2016)

Posted in Aphorisms, Book Reviews, Books about writers, Canadian Music, Charles Simic, Harper's, James Lough, JPJ, Peter Gabriel, Rheostatics, Rush, Sarah Manguso, Sharon Dolin, Sly and the Family Stone, Word usage, tagged on July 10, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-The Cabana Room, Spadina Hotel, Toronto, ON (December 23 1983).

This is “Rheostatics and Trans Canada Soul Patrol 1983 at The Cabana Room – Spadina Hotel Christmas Party show. Amazing sounding recording considering it is from 1983.”

As far as I can see it is the only recording of the band with the Trans-Canada Soul Patrol.  And that basically means that it’s a lot of these early songs only with saxophone–lots of saxophone (it seems like only one member sof The TCSP is there).  According to a cassette recorded in 1984, the band was:

  • Drums – Dave Clark
  • Guitar – Dave Bidini
  • Tenor Saxophone – Charlie Huntley, Dave Rodenburg
  • Trumpet, Flugelhorn – Ray Podhornik
  • Voice, Bass – Tim Vesely

So it seems likely that it was a similar e lineup in Dec 1983.  I only hear guitar bass and drums, but I can only hear one sax.  And does that mean that Tim was the main singer back then?

This show is loose, dare I say sloppy.  There’s a total drunken party vibe going on, as befits a Christmas Party.  But the most notable thing is that sax–soloing all over the place.  Dave Clark gets a lot of shout outs during the set–trying to get him to do a solo or “lay the groove.”  Before “Thank You” (the Sly and the Family Stone song), Dave tunes his guitar with harmonics and someone “sings” Rush’s “Xanadu” briefly.  The band puts a massive echo on the first chorus–it’s pretty obnoxious.  And in the middle of the song Dace Clark starts chanting songs: “Fly Robin Fly,” “You Should Be Dancin'” and “Convoy.”

During “Chemical World” someone asks “What do you think Ronald, am I better off dead?” and then there’s a shout out: “show us your teeth, Paul.”  (None of these guys are in the band, right?).  Someone jokes that Clark is still playing drums even though his mom said that playing drums is not a career.

It’s unclear what’s happening or how serious the band is but they tell people “watch out, guys, you broke a fuckin’ beer bottle, okay.”  They introduce “The Midnight Hour” by saying it’s a song written by Wilson Pickett called, “Go Fuckin’ Nuts, no I don’t know what it’s called.”

This is the only recording I know of with “Big in Business,” which they describe as “something marketable.”  And after two shows where “Man of Action” gets cut off, we finally get to hear it to the end.

By the time they do “Louie Louie” the whole thing is a drunken mess.  There’s shouts of Merry Christmas, comments about it being the last  time they’ll play in 1983, calling people up on stage.  It sounds like Clark is looking for his girlfriend.  “Louie” is a massive party jam with all kinds of people singing along, including a woman with a very high singing voice, and someone going “shock” like Peter Gabriel’s “Shock the Monkey” after each “Louie Louie” line.

The set seems to be over but then some one encourages them to sing “Shake Yer Body Thang,” which they do with lots of screaming and shouting and letting it all hang out.

It’s nice seeing a relatively young band acting so cool and comfortable and fun on stage, even if I’m really glad they got rid of the horns (and their whole sound).

[READ: August 28, 2016] In Short

Manguso’s book review of four books of aphorisms is fun because she (an aphoristic writer herself) breaks it down into 36 paragraph-sized chunks.  Including that “Hippocrates coined the word aphorism to describe his brief medical teachings.”

A few interesting things: She says that she doesn’t so much read prose as “root through it for sentences in need of rescue.”

John Gross, in his introduction to the Oxford Book of Aphorisms, says the word aphorism took on a moral sand philosophical tone after the Renaissance.  By the 17th century the definition included witticisms.

James Geary wrote The World in a Phrase: A History of Aphorisms and offered a five part definition of aphorisms: it must be brief, it must be personal, it must be philosophical and it must have twist.  But the best thing that Geary has said is: (more…)

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King Crimson (Count Basie Theater, Red Bank, NJ, July 9, 2017)

Posted in Count Basie Theatre, David Bowie, King Crimson, Red Bank, NJ, Stick Men on July 9, 2017| 4 Comments »

[ATTENDED: July 9, 2017] King Crimson

I was genuinely surprised to discover that my previous King Crimson show was nearly three years ago–it felt so much more recent than that.  But so it was.

I was pretty excited that they were playing in Red Bank, NJ at the Count Basie–a theater I’d never been to before. And I was pretty thrilled that my cousin Kate who lives nearby was able to get tickets without having to pay the bastard fees (especially since the tickets were so frickin expensive).  But she managed to get me a seat in Row G, which was just phenomenal.

Interestingly, since the theater slopes down (which is awesome, no one’s head is ever in your way), for this band’s setup, being that close meant that the drums blocked a lot of the view.  Because yes, the three (!) drummers were right out front.  The lineup was pretty much the same as last time except that since I saw them last, drummer Bill Rieflin took a sabbatical (and was replaced by Jeremy Stacey) and then came back.  So now there were eight performers!

The lineup: Tony Levin (bass, Stick, more); Mel Collins (saxes, flutes); Jakko Jakszyk (guitar, vocals),  Bill Rieflin (keyboards and effects–I’m led to believe he played drums earlier in the tour, but for our show he was just on keys): Three drummers: Gavin Harrison, Pat Mastelotto and Jeremy Stacey (also keyboards).  And of course, Robert Fripp (guitar).

My seats were right in front of Gavin Harrison, which was awesome.  It was so much fun to watch him.  But being so close to him meant that I couldn’t always see Fripp (Harrison’s cymbals were blocking him!).  I couldn’t really see Stacey much (he was blocked on both sides by his gear) and Mastelotto was on the other side, which meant I could watch his expressions and see him bash the hell out of things, but could never exactly see when he did subtle things.

The main thing I wanted to watch this time was Tony Levin’s bass and Stick playing.  But just like last time, I never knew where to focus because someone was always doing something interesting and my attention was easily swayed.

I looked at my prior write up and feel like much of it is the same, and that’s fine because the show was amazing, and I was delighted to have seen it again. But there were also a whole bunch of different songs at this show–for a band who is playing such complex music to mix it up so much is pretty cool.

So here’s what I said last time:

(more…)

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Joy Williams–“Pet Seminary” (Harper’s, August 2016)

Posted in Canadian Music, Diane Williams, Dogs, Excerpt, Flash Fiction, Harper's, Huh?, Pigs, Religion, Rheostatics, Sly & The Family Stone, Sly and the Family Stone, The Kingsmen, The Kinks, The Who, tagged on July 9, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Mowat Collegiate, Scarborough, ON (1982).

This is (as of June 2017), the oldest Rheostatics show on Rheostatics Live.

And indeed, “Considering it is 34 years old it sounds remarkably good for a show probably taped off of a tape recorder”

This is in their very early days when they were a lot more funk and new wave.

There’s also a big distinction in that the guitar (or maybe keyboard, although I don’t hear any) is played by David Crosby (not that one) rather than Martin Tielli.  This was before Tielli joined the band.

There’s a note that this cassette may have been two sets on one night but it seems more likely that it was two different nights.  Same set list both sets.

The show opens with a recording of “O Canada” that seems to gets stuck as they launch into “National Pride.”  I can’t get over how many bootlegs there are of them playing this song and yet it never made it onto a release.  I feel like the ending using a twisted “Star Spangled Banner” is new (or I guess actually old).

This is one of the first occasion I’ve heard them play The Kinks song “Well-Respected Man.”  Their version is incredibly different and I wouldn’t have even recognized it except for the lyrics:

And he’s oh, so good,
And he’s oh, so fine,
And he’s oh, so healthy,
In his body and his mind

It’s all funk and slaps and a wholly different melody.  The guitar solo is very rudimentary as well–angular and noisy.  They also play Sly and the Family Stone’s “Thank You” with their own flavor to it–again nothing like the original.  It’s so far from the original that the subtitle is “(Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin).”  It feels like every song is pretty much all slap bass –I can’t actually tell who is singing these songs Dave or Tim.

There’s an original “Satellite Dancing” and a cover of “Louie Louie” done in a new wave style with some really high angular guitar chords and a bass solo.

Clark describes “1984 For Those Who Believe” as a political song about “Poland and Russia and the Middle East an all of those fun things that happen in the world today.”

There’s a story that I can’t make out but the end is “We’re the Rheostatics and we’d like you to dance, okay” which segues into a seven minute “Shake Yer Body Thang,” which also has a lengthy funk bass section.

They introduce their “single released three months ago,” “My Generation.”  “It’s a dancing song, too.”  This song did get official release and it also sounds nothing like the original  “Girl in My Magazine” about Nancy Reagan–he keeps it under his bed at night.  It’s got a massive ska feel.  “Man of Action” funky bass and scratchy guitars (and maybe a keyboard?).  It gets cut off before the end.

The second set doesn’t have “O Canada,” but something else as an intro.  But they still open with National Pride and in this version you can really hear him sing,”Can’t live in the USA / too many enemies / can’t live in the USA / that place is not for me.”

“We’re the Rheostatics from Toronto, Ontario, this is a song dedicated to Russ Jones.” It’s called “Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin).”

“Satellite Dancing” from our single: dance and have fun which i hop you all will.  This set seems more fun than the previous one: chants of “dancing!” and a rowdier crowd.

“It’s called ‘Louie Louie’ and its a dance song.”

“1984 For Those Who Believe” is “dedicated to the National Guard, Mr Reagan and all his friends in blue.”  I wish I could hear the words better, I, curious what they’re singing about.

“This is called ‘Shake Your Body Thang’ it’s new and everybody dances, alright?”  There’s cowbell and other percussion during the funk breakdown.  They want to turn the whole building into one big rhythm section–“bang any two things together.”  “We’re going to keep doing this until you get it right…you shouldn’t smoke anyways, eh?”  It’s hard to tell from this recording if the crowd is into it.

A much shorter “My Generation” it feels like a bratty punk version of the song.  “Girl in My Magazine” it’s about Nancy Reagan–he keeps the dirty books in his closet so no one will find them.  And once again, “Man of Action” gets cut off.

It’s hard to believe that this band evolved into Rheostatics.  I wonder what they’d be doing now if they hadn’t morphed so much.

[READ: September 12, 2016] “Pet Seminary”

This piece is actually four excerpted sections from William’s Ninety-Nine Stories of God.

I have had a real problem with Williams’ stories–they just don’t do anything for me.  So having four even shorter ones is not the most exciting prospect.

#29 is a first person account of the narrators childhood in which his class was supposed to visit a slaughterhouse.  Cooler heads prevailed and they did not actually see into the abattoir, by the smell was unforgettable.  Later they learned of a pig who saved a man from drowning.  The owner said that pigs are more intelligent than dogs but are not omniscient. (more…)

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The Organist: Season 3 [podcast] (2015-2016)

Posted in Afrofuturism, Architecture, Black Press Radio, Booker T. Jones, Busdriver, Can, Charlie Parker, Christopher Knowles, Christopher Owens, Clarice Lispector, Cream, David Bowie, David Shields, Flying Lotus, Garry Shandling, George Clinton, Girls, Graham Lambkin, Jenny Slate, Jerry Seinfeld, Joice Heth, Joshua Beckman, Katrina Dodson, KCRW 89.9 FM--Santa Monica, CA, Kite, Larry David, Leftfield, Lena Dunham, Lil B, Louis Chude-Sokei, McSweeney's, Mel Brooks, MMuseumm, Octavia Butler, Orson Welles, Philip Glass, Poltergeist, Ramones, Rush, Sarah Vowell, Scott McClanahan, Serpico, Sex Pistols, Shabazz Palaces, Sun Ra, The Byrds, The New York Times, The Organist, Weird Dude Energy, William Bell on July 8, 2017| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: March 2017] The Organist

organistAfter really enjoying The Organist in 2015, the season ended and I hadn’t heard that there were going to be anymore.  So I stopped looking for them.  And then the other day I got an email reminding me about recent episodes.  Well, sure enough there had been an entire season last year and they were already part way through this year’s season.

So I’m playing some catch up here.  But they are timeless, so it’s okay.

Each cast has a section in brackets–this text comes from the Organist’s own site.  The rest is my own commentary.

The Organist is a free podcast from KCRW & McSweeney’s.  As of this writing, they are up to episode 82. (more…)

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Mystery Science Theater 3000: Watch Out for Snakes! Tour [EEGAH! & Argoman: The Fantastic Superman] (Keswick Theatre, Glenside, PA, July 7, 2017)

Posted in Argoman The Fantastic Superman, Baron Vaughn, Eegah!, Hampton Yount, James Bond, Jonah Ray, Keswick Theatre, MST3K, MST3K Live, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Patton Oswalt, Rebecca Hanson on July 7, 2017| Leave a Comment »

[ATTENDED: July 7, 2017] MST3K Live

I first discovered MST3K when I lived in Boston (on The Comedy Channel) in 1992 (just before it merged with Ha! and became Comedy Central).

Holy cow, did I love that show.  I eventually watched every episode and had every episode on tape.  I even made and sold (at break even price), audio tapes of all of the “songs” in the episodes.  It was a time-consuming labor of love (I wonder how hard it would be to convert them to CD), but I was a fanatic.

I could never choose between Joel or Mike because I liked them both for different reasons.  I admit that by the last few seasons I didn’t enjoy the scenes with the Mads as much, but the movie jokes never wavered.

And then the show was over in 1999.  And we all wept.

Well, 16 years later in December 2015, we were all blown away when we saw that Joel was going to try to resurrect the show.  Of course I pledged on Kickstarter (but still haven’t been able to watch any episodes for various reasons).  I was happy to be part of the new experience.

But I was even more excited when in May (after all of the new episodes had aired) it was announced that there would be a LIVE TOUR!  And that my location would get not only the announced show  ‘Eegah’ but also a “secret surprise film.”

Eegah! happens to be one of my all time favorite MST3K movies, so I was thrilled to hear that that was the movie they would do.  And I was even more thrilled to hear that they were making all new jokes (no mean feat).  But then to get a “Secret surprise film” never before seen by MST3K?  That was spectacular.

Some of the reason why I hadn’t watched the new episodes is because I didn’t want to ruin my awesome memories of the old episodes.  What if the new stuff wasn’t as good?  And who were all of these new people anyway?  Obviously I knew who Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day were, but I’d not heard of Jonah Ray or Hampton Yount (Crow) or Baron Vaughn (Tom Servo) or Rebecca Hanson (Gypsy).

I was a little nervous when I got to the theater–would it be good?  Would it be fun?  Would I actually enjoy watching this with other people?

Well, it was a blast. (more…)

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Laurence Yep, Joanne Ryder–A Dragon’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Humans (2015) [audiobook 2015–Susan Denaker]

Posted in Adventure, Advice, Audiobooks, Children's Books, Culture Shock, Dragons, Drawing, End of the World, Friendship, Funny (ha ha), Joanne Ryder, Laurence Yep, Mary GrandPré, Money, Monsters, Supernatural, Susan Denaker, Unfinished series on July 7, 2017| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: January 2017] A Dragon’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Humans

We listened to this book on our recent trip to Vermont. dragon

It was utterly unnerving to have the delightful Susan Denaker read this book because she was the author of the Penderwicks series which we love.  And her voice of Batty in that series is identical to the voice of the main girl, Winnie in this series.  But once we got past that (and it did take a while, we found this story to be fun and enjoyable.

But this story went in a direction I absolutely was not expecting–especially based on the title.

Each chapter has a heading like in an instruction manual for the care and feeding of Humans: If you value your happiness and sanity, take your time and choose your pet wisely.  To train your pet you will need three things patience, patience and above all patience.

And it seems to start out with that premise in mind.

For this book is narrated by a dragon, known as Miss Drake.   As the story opens, Miss Drake is in mourning because her pet, Fluffy, has died. Fluffy is the name she gave to Amelia, and older lady whom the dragon appeared to.  When Fluffy died Miss Drake planned on going to sleep for 20 or 30 years to get over it.  But just two days later, a little girl waltzed into her den–the girl had the key and everything! (more…)

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Holly Grant–The League of Beastly Dreadfuls [Book 1] (2015) [audiobook 2015–Rosalyn Landor]

Posted in Adventure, Audiobooks, Boredom, Death, Funny (ha ha), Funny (strange), Ghosts, Holly Grant, Idiots, Lies, Marriage Trouble, Mystery Lumps, Parenting, Rosalyn Landor, Set at School, Unfinished series, Yuck! on July 6, 2017| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: December 2016] The League of Beastly Dreadfuls

beastlyI was looking for an audio book to listen to with the kids and I found this one.  I didn’t know anything about it, but the title was interesting.

I never suspected just what a peculiar story this turned out to be.

It is the tale of Anastasia McCrumpet, an otherwise normal 11-year-old girl who suffers from flatulence and a mum who does little more than yell from her bed all day.  Her father is a loving man, but as of a few years ago he has been quite obsessed with vacuum cleaners.  She also has a guinea pig who is quite ill-tempered; when it feels crossed by someone, it takes revenge by pooping in their slippers.

On this particular morning, they were having a funeral.  A funeral for her father’s plant (they wound up tossing it out the window).  And then her father made them his famous waffles (which her mother screamed for upstairs).

But Anastasia was running late for school that morning because of the funeral and she ran out of the house wearing a most unusual outfit (part of a Halloween costume, which was top on the laundry pile). (more…)

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Jason Segel, Kirsten Miller–Nightmares! The Lost Lullaby [Book 3] (2016) [audiobook 2016–Jason Segel]

Posted in Adventure, Alternate Reality, Audiobooks, Big Books, Children's Books, Death, End of the World, Football, Funny (ha ha), Goblins, How I Met Your Mother, Humiliation, Jason Segel, Karl Kwansy, Kirsten Miller, Marriage (Happy), Medusa, Monsters, Nightmares, Parenting, Superman, T., The Muppet Show, Unfinished series, Unlikable main character, Yuck!, Zombies on July 5, 2017| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: December 2016] Nightmares! The Lost Lullaby

I was really excited to get this third volume of the Nightmares! series.

The previous book ended with the startling revelation that on the first day of the new school year, India Kessog (INK) is sitting in Charlie’s classroom.

INK and her sister ICK were responsible for creating the tonic that nearly destroyed Orville Falls–not to mention the Dream Realm, the Netherworld and the Waking World.

Charlie and his friends knew that INK was on this side of the portal and that her sister ICK was still in the nightmare realm, but they never expected that INK would come to them rather than then having to track her down.

INK is still dressed like she has always been–in old-fashioned clothes with a red bow–exactly the way that she (or ICK, they are twins) terrorized everyone’s dreams in Charlie’s town.  As INK walks through the school–observing everything very carefully–all of the kids keep their distance and stare and whisper.

When she sits down to eat, she is repulsed by the chicken nuggets–who wouldn’t be?  But she loves the tater tots.  That must make her okay right? (c’mon, EVERYONE loves the tater tots).  Charlie is just about to go approach her when his little brother Jack beats him to it.  And he starts talking to India (he calls her Indy) like she was his friend instead of a monster.  They seem to be having a good conversation until a new characters approaches. (more…)

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