SOUNDTRACK: hiatus
[READ: April 14, 2022] Thief of Time
The Death stories allow Pratchett to play around with new characters (in addition to old favorites).
So this story features a new character named Jeremy Clockson. Jeremy was a founding left a the Clockmaker’s guild. He is uncanny in his precision and was ultimately kicked out of the Guild for being too high strung.
One day a woman walks into his office (he makes the most precise clcks in Ankh-Morpork. her name is Myria LeJean. She is obnoxious and haughty and demands that Jeremy make the best clock that has ever been invented. He, knowing a thing or two about clocks, says that he has already created the most precise clocks ever. But she tells him about a clock that can be even more.
She offers him a lot of money to build it even as she knows that building such an amazing clock will be all the reward that Jeremy wants.
This is when Death gets involved. Because it turns out that if this clock is built it will literally be the end of the world–this clock will capture and stop time.
Many Death stories have to do with the Auditors, and of course the Auditors are behind this, too. The find humanity too messy to deal with, and they want to remove humanity so that the universe will run more smoothly. They have sent Myris as a human to try to learn. But she soon becomes taken over by human behavior and she kind of… likes Jeremy.
She also sends Jeremy an Igor to work with him. I love the Igor characters and was delighted to see another one make an appearance.
As with most of the latter Death stories, Death is really enforced by Miss Susan–Death’s granddaughter. Death him self cannot get involved when the Auditors cause trouble. But Susan can stop them as long as Death doesn’t reveal too much.
I loved seeing Susan’s life as a teacher (her headmistress doesn’t like her, but the kids love her)
In the other major thread, we meet Lu-Tze–a powerful member of the History Monks masquerading as a humble sweeper. There’s some wonderful karate movie shenanigans in this story. With Lu Tze presenting as a lowly sweeper when he is indeed the most feared member of the Monks. He works with a monk who creates with weapons called Qu.
And yet whenever he is called upon to do something that involves attacking or violence, he seems to just use trickery to get things to happen.
He is also given an apprentice, Lobsang. Lobsang is a name that jumped out at me so much, that it made me think I must have remembered this story very well and yet I didn’t. I just remembered the name Lobsang. Huh.
Lu-Tze and Lobsang are in charge of making sure that time isn’t destroyed. Lobsang is considered a pain in the butt by the other monks.
Lobsang is a spoiled kid, who is bored at school and cant be taught because he knows everything. Even Lu-Tze is not impressed with him, until he is able to bend time is ways that only the eldest Monks are able to do. In fact, no one should be able to do the things he can do. Lu-Tze realizes that Lobsang is naturally gifted at time shaping, he just needs to know how to control his gift.
Incidentally, the main abbot of the monastery has been reincarnated serval times. He is presently a baby but he is also very wise, so his conversation is constantly interrupted his baser needs.
‘Ah, Sweeper,’ he burbled, awkwardly tossing aside a yellow ball and brightening up. ‘And how are the mountains? Wanna bikkit wanna bikkit!’
‘I’m definitely getting vulcanism, reverend one. It’s very encouraging.’
‘And you are in persistent good health?’ said the abbot, while his pudgy little hand banged a wooden giraffe against the bars. ‘Yes, your reverence. It’s good to see you up and about again.’
‘Only for a few steps so far, alas bikkit bikkit wanna bikkit. Unfortunately, young bodies have a mind of their own BIKKIT! ‘You sent me a message, your reverence? It said, “Put this one to the test.”’
As the apocalypse looms, Death recalls that he and the other four horsemen must ride forth. But it has been a really long time and War is now married (he has to ask his wife if he likes meat–no it gives him wind). Famine and Pestilence aren’t that keen on doing anything either. Leave it to Death to find the long lost horseman of the Apocalayse–a man who is now a milkman named Ronnie Soak. Ronnie hasn’t thought about riding forth in years. But he becomes essential to the plot.
There is a huge pile of time travel in this book, as well as eastern philosophy and thoughts of what it means to be human,
There’s some really high concepts in a story in which the bad guys are defeated with chocolate. And in which other characters are decapitated with no ill effects.
I love Susan as a character and the way that the Jeremy story and the Lobsang story combine is pretty masterful
And don’t forget Rule One. Rule One is “Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man”
It’s a great story.
Here’s the list of all Discworld books in order:
1. The Colour of Magic
2. The Light Fantastic
3. Equal Rites
4. Mort
5. Sourcery
6. Wyrd Sisters
7. Pyramids
8. Guards! Guards!
9. Faust Eric
10. Moving Pictures
11. Reaper Man
12. Witches Abroad
13. Small Gods
14. Lords and Ladies
15. Men at Arms
16. Soul Music
17. Interesting Times
18. Maskerade
19. Feet of Clay
20. Hogfather
21. Jingo
22. The Last Continent
23. Carpe Jugulum
24. The Fifth Elephant
25. The Truth
26. Thief of Time
27. The Last Hero
28. The Amazing Maurice And His Educated Rodents
29. Night Watch
30. The Wee Free Men
31. Monstrous Regiment
32. A Hat Full of Sky
33. Going Postal
34. Thud!
35. Wintersmith
36. Making Money
37. Unseen Academicals
38. I Shall Wear Midnight
39. Snuff
40. Raising Steam
41. The Shepherd’s Crown
I first discovered MST3K when I lived in Boston (on The Comedy Channel) in 1992 (just before it merged with Ha! and became Comedy Central).
