[LISTENED TO: January 2017] A Dragon’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Humans
We listened to this book on our recent trip to Vermont. 
It was utterly unnerving to have the delightful Susan Denaker read this book because she was the author of the Penderwicks series which we love. And her voice of Batty in that series is identical to the voice of the main girl, Winnie in this series. But once we got past that (and it did take a while, we found this story to be fun and enjoyable.
But this story went in a direction I absolutely was not expecting–especially based on the title.
Each chapter has a heading like in an instruction manual for the care and feeding of Humans: If you value your happiness and sanity, take your time and choose your pet wisely. To train your pet you will need three things patience, patience and above all patience.
And it seems to start out with that premise in mind.
For this book is narrated by a dragon, known as Miss Drake. As the story opens, Miss Drake is in mourning because her pet, Fluffy, has died. Fluffy is the name she gave to Amelia, and older lady whom the dragon appeared to. When Fluffy died Miss Drake planned on going to sleep for 20 or 30 years to get over it. But just two days later, a little girl waltzed into her den–the girl had the key and everything!
Miss Drake was outraged and tried to frighten the girl away, but Winnie was not easily frightened. Denaker’s voice for the officious dragon is outstanding. Winnie, it turns out is the great-niece of Amelia. Amelia, upon her death, willed the house to Winnie’s mother. The house, it turns out, is above the lair where Miss Drake lives.
Miss Drake is appalled to hear that Amelia told Winnie about the dragon and her lair. But Winnie didn’t tell anyone else. In fact, at first she didn’t believe Amelia at all, and assumed they were stories. But before she died, Amelia convinced Winnie that her stories were true, and Winnie was quite excited to meet the regal dragon (although neither human though of themselves as pets, obviously).
And so not only is Winnie not afraid, she is rather disappointed in everything she sees–imagining a dragon’s den to be much more impressive. Miss Drake scoffs, have you ever tried sleeping on gold? Gold is cold and hard.
Miss Drake is disgusted with this girl and considers her feral. She determines that she will be impossible to train.
The surprise comes when Winnie notices a painting on the wall. Miss Drake tells her to stay away from it, that Fluffy had gotten it for her from a rummage sale. But Winnie claims that she made the picture herself–and then she proves it. And that changes things.
The next day we learn that Miss Drake had locked the door, left a note for Winnie to keep out and is preparing for the upcoming Enchanter’s Fair. Miss Drake is preparing to graciously step down as the only champion (for decades) of the Spelling Bee (which is a genius name for a contest for casting spells). But Winnie doesn’t read notes and just marches right in. And that’s when we learn a bit about her own history. Her father passed away when she was young, her grandparents disapproved of her mother, and things were not easy for her). Her family has been poor forever–her mom has worked two jobs just to feed her. And Winnie has no pretensions to anything Even though they have now inherited this amazing house (set in San Francisco–which surprised me), she is still playing checkers on a board that her father made for her.
Miss Drake offers Winnie some of her pearls (dragon’s tears turn into pearls as they harden), but Winnie refuses them. Miss Drake realizes that she is a good-hearted and kind girl at heart and begins to trust her after all.
And so, she flies to a magical store (the magical land is delightful and is up in the clouds somewhere). At the shop (she and the proprietress are old friends) , she buys Winnie a sketchpad. Incidentally, the story is told from a much later date, and Miss Drake tells us that she should have realized that something was up with the book when she grabbed it–it vibrated a little–but she ignored it. It was only later on that she learned that the book was magical.
And this is when the story turned into something I simply wasn’t expecting. For Winnie winds up drawing 20 of the creatures that she saw on her adventure to the magic store. And overnight they all come to life.
And the rest of the book is their attempt to try to put get he creatures back. It’s a great story full of excitement, but the title now seems to be very different from the action of the book (but the title is really great, so you can’t lose that, right?).
The first few creatures are easy to find–they are all close by the house. And yet even the docile ones are terrified to go back into the book–an unusual thing, indeed. It soon comes out that one of the creatures that Winnie drew is a really scary monster–so scary that the other creatures don’t want to be anywhere near it.
The most creature heads to the Enchanter’s Fair looking to cause untold havoc.
So, this plot is pretty exciting. There is a lot of humor and some danger. But the book becomes more about trying to catch the creatures and less about the delightful idea that each one of them thinks the other is her pet.
There is a second book, which I would certainly listen to. I was surprised that the book was as long as it was (4 discs) only because it seemed like such a simple premise. Nevertheless, Denaker does a truly wonderful job, and it proved to be an excellent audio book for a relatively short trip.
The book has illustrations by the wonderful Mary GrandPré but again, since this is an audiobook, I can’t comment on the pictures.
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