SOUNDTRACK: SOUTH PARK-Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics (1999).
When this came out in 1999, I was a huge South Park fan and I didn’t celebrate Christmas very much. So this was a wonderful anti-Christmas celebration.
Now, 19 years later (holy cow), this album is a fun holiday treat–one that can’t be played in front of the kids. So it has become an adult-only holiday treat when S. and I are driving. Most of the songs are still hilariously offensive and hold up really well.
“Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo” by Cowboy Timmy is an intro, nothing special. But things pick up hugely with song two, “Merry Fucking Christmas” sung by Mr. Garrison. Hearing it sung in his voice is hilarious and it is so profane. Thank you, Mr. Hat. It’s a seasonal highlight. As is Cartman’s “O Holy Night.” He gets all the words right in this one and he has a choir behind him. Even 19 years later, Cartman’s voice is still funny, especially singing this beautiful song.
The next song, “Dead, Dead, Dead” by Juan Schwartz and the South Park Children’s Choir is meant to darkly comic I guess (“someday you’ll be dead”) but really it’s just kind of dull and it feels endless even though it’s barely 2 minutes long. But Mr. Mackey picks things up with his hilarious rendition of “Carol of the Bells” Mmmkay.
Kyle’s “The Lonely Jew on Christmas” is pretty funny “And what the f*ck is up with lighting all these f*cking candles, someone tell me please” which is made even better with the appearance of Neil Diamond! Shelley’s “I Saw Three Ships” is a one-note joke (she has braces and can’t say the letter S). It feels too long at a minute, although “Shut up, turds!” could become a holiday catchphrase.
I didn’t know that “It Happened in Sun Valley” (sung adorably by Stan and Wendy) was a real song. I didn’t know why it was funny. I still don’t know if it is funny (Stan throws up when he talks to her which is kind of funny, but doesn’t really work in a song that is largely solid and enjoyable anyhow). We like it and just ignore the barf. Eww.
The next little skit is so offensive as to be utterly hilarious. It begins with Hitler singing “O Tannenbaum” and then Satan trying to make him feel better by singing about it being “Christmas Time in Hell.” We often wonder why the guys chose the celebrities that they did to put in hell. Did they particularly dislike the named people or were they just trying to upset as many people as possible.
Chef only gets one song on this CD, but his hilarious take on “What Child is This” (called “What the Hell Child is This?”) is amazing. It’s white so it cannot be mine.
The skit “Santa Claus is on His Way” sung by Mr Hankey is weird because it is taken from the episode and relies on a visual joke that doesn’t translate to the CD. But again, Cartman is back to redeem everything with the ultimate Christmas song, an ode to Grandma and the “Swiss Colony Beef Log.”
“Hark the Herald Angels Sing” is, I assume a rip on Peanuts with the kids of thee “South Park Children’s Choir” all singing it (badly).
Parker and Stone showed their amazing musical genius (ultimately put on display with Book of Mormon) with “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel” sung by The Broflofskis with Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh. Basing the melody around the Dreidel song, they add four or five people singing at the same time and it sounds fantastic. Cartman’s lyric is stunningly perfect “I have a little drediel, I made it out of clay, but I’m not gonna play with it cause dreidel’s fucking gay”) fits so perfectly rhythmically that its uncanny. Stan’s dad’s love for Courtney Cox which you hear clearly at the end is in fact the only thing he sings throughout the song which is also genius.
“The Most Offensive Song Ever” is pretty offensive. Perhaps it’s after 19 years of listening, but it seems more and more obvious what all of Kenny’s mumbled words are. Mary!
I don’t understand the joke with “We Three Kings” by Mr. Ose. Is it just that he’s Chinese? It’s less than a minute but is pretty irritating. The disc’s closing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” sung by Mr. Hankey with Stan, Kyle and Cartman is a fun ending but it only helps you realize how short the disc actually is (especially if you skip those three or four lame tracks).
Merry Christmas everyone. When you’re old enough.
[READ: December 2, 2018] “Sunflowers”
Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar. This is my third time reading the Calendar (thanks S.). I never knew about the first one until it was long out of print (sigh). Here’s what they say this year
Fourth time’s the charm.
After a restful spring, rowdy summer, and pretty reasonable fall, we are officially back at it again with another deluxe box set of 24 individually bound short stories to get you into the yuletide spirit.
The fourth annual Short Story Advent Calendar might be our most ambitious yet, with a range of stories hailing from eight different countries and three different originating languages (don’t worry, we got the English versions). This year’s edition features a special diecut lid and textured case. We also set a new personal best for material that has never before appeared in print.
Want a copy? Order one here.
Like last year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection.
I typically dislike war stories. They’re probably great for soldiers, but not for me. Both because I think war is awful and because soldier stories are usually all the same: lots of boredom (for them) and then something horrible happens. (more…)
I Just Read About That... 