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Archive for the ‘Authors’ Category

Tony Abbott–The Secrets of Droon: Books 17-21 and SE#2 (2002-2004)

Posted in Adventure, Children's Books, Demons, End of the World, Fantasy, Funny (ha ha), Ghosts, Kathleen Edwards, Magic, Mamma Yamma, Mystery, Supernatural, Threats, Tony Abbott on April 17, 2012| 2 Comments »

SOUNDTRACK: KATHLEEN EDWARDS-“Eat the Alphabet” on CBC Kids’ Mamma Yamma (2012).

I love Kathleen Edwards.  I think she has a wonderful voice (there’s something just slightly off that I think is really great).  I love all of her songs, because lyrically she’s clever and at times a little dark.

This is the only children’s song that she has sung that I know of. I don’t think it’s based on any of her proper songs.  It’s a simple strummed electric guitar ditty with a catchy chorus (as befits a children’s song).  Lyrically the song is all about different kinds of foods that start with the different letters of the alphabet.

Of course, she gets off to a strange start because after doing A (apples and apricots) and B (broccoli and banana) she gets to C which is “for Cat and mine’s called Mr T”).  She gets back on track (feta cheese!).  Although she skips J&K (which aren’t that hard, frankly).  She also skips Q and then  T, U, and V (in a way that seems like it’s improvised, although surely it isn’t).

It’s fun that she ends with Y as Mamma Yamma, our favorite talking potato.  It’s not the greatest kids song, but it is certainly fun.

You can see it here:

[READ: January-February, 2012] The Secrets of Droon: Books 17-21 & SE#2

I established with my previous Droon post that I would write posts for the books in between the Special Editions.  The arcs may not be completed, but the Special Editions seem like a natural recapping point.

I’ve been reading this series to my son and he is totally hooked.  And I have to say by the next sequence of books I was really blown away by the twist that Abbott put into the series.  At this stage, each book is getting more intense, although they are all kind of formulaic.  By the end of Book 21, though, things start to change, and the series has just gotten better and better.

Book 17 is called Dream Thief.  It has the kids waking up with dreams of Jabbo.  And Eric wakes up with a silver stone in his hand–a stone that he brought from the dream world!  The action of this book is set in the Bangeldorn Forest, where the monkeys live.  They befriend Tweet and Woot and go to the Dark Lands. (more…)

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Thomas Pynchon–[Week 8] Gravity’s Rainbow [Sections 3.16-3.24] (1973)

Posted in Africa, Big Books, Consumerism, Corporate skewering, Drinking, Drugs, Frank Zappa, Funny (ha ha), Funny (strange), James Joyce, Kid Rock, Language, Military, Molotov, Political Humor, Pranks, Racism, Rage Against the Machine, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Research, Russia, Sex, Supernatural, Surreal, Technology, Thomas Pynchon, Threats, Travel, War on April 16, 2012| 2 Comments »

SOUNDTRACK: MOLOTOV-¿Dónde Jugarán las Niñas? (1998).

Molotov was the last Rock en Español band that I really bothered to check out.  They were probably most notorious for the cover of the album.  Interestingly, the cover is actually a four sided cover which you can flip to three other far less sexist scenes, so yes, that was pretty much a sales gimmick.  And it certainly attracted attention (and a law suit!).  So they reissued the title with the far less offensive, but very different cover below.

My Spanish is poor at best, but this album is a mix of Spanish and English.  And, of course, I know some bad Spanish words, so I get a sense of what this album is about. But here’s the thing–it rocks really hard and has some really great elements of the metal/rap/funk hybrid genre, regardless of whether you know what they’re talking about (although don’t go singing “Chinga Tu Madre” around the office, capiche?).

The opening song  “Que no te haga bobo Jacobo” has a very Rage Against the Machine vibe–heavy guitars and sound effects with militant rapped lyrics.  The riff is great and the vocals are smoother than Rage’s Zach–“Tito” Fuentes has great flow.  There’s also some good funky bass in the middle section.  “Molotov Cocktail Party” is a mix of English and Spanish, a pretty straightforward rap, not unlike Kid Rock.

“Voto Latino” has a more alt rock vibe in the guitars, although the vocals are pretty straightforward rap style.  The song title means Latino Vote, so perhaps there’s a politics context to it.  And “Gimme Tha Power” is a political song, too.  A rap (in Spanish) over some nice acoustic guitars.

There definitely isn’t in “Chinga Tu Madre” which has more of those cool guitar effects and group chanting, although it’ probably not worth investigating the lyrics much more.  But the chorus is catchy as anything.  “Matata Tete” and “Mas Vale Cholo” return to that Rage Against the Machine style, with vocals that are a bit more cookie monster-y (I’m not sure who sings lead on which songs, actually) although “Mas Vale Cholo” has some fun with the vocal delivery.  And there’s a spirit of early Red Hot Chili Peppers at work, too.

“Use It or Lose It” is rapped in mostly English.  It has a very cool acoutsic-feeling chorus (and a quote of the line, “what cha gonna do rap is not afraid of you.”).  “Puto” is presumably an anti-gay song (I suppose I should find that out before I say so).  “Porque No Te Haces Para Alla?…Al Mas Alla!” has a fun chorus and cool guitar effects once again.  “Cerdo” has a cool 70s vibe, with funky bass and scratchy guitars–it’s got a sexy feel, although the title means “pig,” so who knows.

The final track also rocks very well.  According to Wikipedia, the translated title of “Quitate Que Ma’sturbas (Perro Arrabalera)” is “Stay Away Because You Masturbate (Suburban Bitch)” which seems weird .  But maybe they had nothing better to write about.  Sometimes ignorance of a subject is not a bad thing.

¿Dónde Jugarán las Niñas? is not the classiest album around, but it’s got some really interesting sonics.  And I’m led to believe their later albums are even better.

[READ: Week of April 9] Gravity’s Rainbow 3.16-3.24

Last week ended with sex and this week opens with the way I felt–like a voyeur who can’t look away.  The exhausting orgy was exhausting to read about as well.  And I’m starting to wonder if Pynchon is making a point about sex rather than just enjoying writing about it.

This week’s read also brings back two characters from way way ago.  Well, one from not too long ago, but another from what seems like an eternity.  I assumed we’d see Pirate Prentice again, but I assumed that it wouldn’t be until Section 4. So that was a nice treat, even if it’s a less than happy return for him. (more…)

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Thomas Bernhard–“Old Masters” (Lucky Peach, No. 3: Cooks and Chefs: Spring 2012)

Posted in Art, Lambchop, Laura Cantrell, Lucky Peach, The Beautiful South, They Might Be Giants, Thomas Bernhard, Tintoretto, Zadie Smith on April 15, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: LAURA CANTRELL-“Cowboy on the Moon” from Score! 20 Years of Merge Records: The Covers (2009).

I only know Laura Cantrell because she sang “The Guitar” with They Might Be Giants.  The original of “Cowboy on the Moon” is by Lambchop, who I also don’t really know.

Lambchop’s version is very country-sounding and the singer has a deepish voice.  Laura Cantrell has a beautiful voice and sings this song quite faithfully.  The strange thing is that her version reminds me so much of The Beautiful South’s “Don’t Marry Her” (although the original doesn’t…must be Cantrell’s voice).

It’s an enjoyable song (about watching the first space landing), even if it is a little too country for my tastes.  Once again, I like the cover version better.

[READ: April 1, 2012] “Old Masters”

Lucky Peach is a magazine about food.  And chefs.  And recipes.  And, apparently fiction.  Like most McSweeney’s publications, there can usually be found a piece of fiction inside it somewhere.  In this issue it is “Old Masters.”

Strangely, Bernhard does not get a bio in the back of the magazine–this is almost unheard of in McSweeney’sland.  Equally as strange is how much I did not like this fiction.

It’s frankly hard to even know what to do with this fiction, and it’s hard to know why it was included in this magazine.  It is not about food at all.  It is about art.  Tangentially.

What it is really is a rant.  A repetitive rant.  A repetitive rant that seems to build in anger.  A repetitive rant that seems to build in anger until it just stops.  A repetitive rant that seems to build in anger until it just stops, but which stops in a location that one might not have expected from the opening. (more…)

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Cathy Hellier–“Gentleman’s Servant” (Colonial Williamsburg: The Journal of the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation, Winter 2012)

Posted in 18th Century, 19th Century, Cathy Hellier, Colonial Williamsburg, Crooked Fingers, Essays, History, Racism, Slavery, St. Vincent, The National, War on April 14, 2012| 1 Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: ST. VINCENT AND THE NATIONAL-“Sleep All Summer” from Score! 20 Years of Merge Records: The Covers (2009).

This cover is by The National with St. Vincent singing a duet with The National’s singer.  The original, by Crooked Fingers, is also a male/female duet, so this works nicely.  Indeed, having listened to the original, there’s not a lot of difference between these two versions.

The singer from The National has a distinctively deep voice.  And I really like St Vincent, although on this song, she’s not really doing anything amazing, she’s just singing (very nicely, but she could be anyone).

It’s a perfectly nice song, in both versions.  The original is a bit more interesting musically, but I like the vocals in the new version better.

[READ: March 15, 2012] “Gentleman’s Servant”

If you have read my other three posts about articles from Colonial Williamsburg, you have seen the cover of this magazine.  And, man, does it make me uncomfortable.  About as uncomfortable as I feared this article was going to make me.  I almost didn’t read it.  In the previous article I mentioned how the photos look…wrong.  And none look more wrong to me than the series of pictures for this article.

However, this article was not about slaves exactly.  It was more about servants or valets.  The article immediately puts us at our ease by telling us that there are schools today that teach how to be a valet, primarily in England.  And they make it out to be not such a bad gig.  It puts me in mind of Jeeves and Wooster, and what a lark it must all be.

Of course in the 18th century things were quite different (although it is described as similar duties–caring for the master and the master’s clothes and horse and such).  This paragraph tucks in a key phrase as it tries to make it all seem casual: (more…)

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Rivka Galchen–“Disatser Aversion: The quest to control hurricanes” (Harper’s, October 2009)

Posted in Bright Eyes, Buckminster Fuller, Essays, Harper's, Magnetic Fields, Natural Disasters, Nature, Rivka Galchen, Scientists on April 13, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: BRIGHT EYES-“Papa was a Rodeo” from Score! 20 Years of Merge Records: The Covers (2009).

I don’t especially like Bright Eyes.  But, as with Ryan Adams, his covers are quite good.  The Magnetic Fields are pretty distinctive when it comes to lyric and melody.  I’ve enjoyed a lot of their recordings, and once you get into The Magnetic Field’s mindset it’s hard to imagine anyone else singing his songs (that voice!).  But if you haven’t heard a song for a while, it’s fun to hear a new interpretation.

And I really like what Bright Eyes does with this song–especially the backing vocals and harmonies at the end of “one night stand.”  And–personal preference–the covers is paced a little faster, which I like, too.

[READ: April 2, 2012] “Disaster Aversion”

This is the final article by Rivka Galchen in Harper’s.  One would never expect an article with that title to be as personal as this one was–but I think Harper’s has a way of bringing that aspect out of writers].  For instance, the opening line is, “Like many a girl with a long-dead father I refer to myself as a girl rather than as a woman, and I gravitate to place I suspect my father, dead fifteen years now, might haunt.”  Her father wa sa professor–which means that Rivka needed to go see the Whitney’s Buckminster Fuller Retrospective (which sounds awesome, frankly).  I love this comment, which feel so true: “My father either admired Buckminster Fuller tremendously or thought he was a tremendous fool.  I can’t remember which.”

Rivka doesn’t know all of the details of her father’s work, but she knows the basics, so when she started doing some investigation into storm and weather modification, she was right in her father’s area.  Her research led to a Project STORMFURY from the 1960s.  And she grew interested in modifying hurricanes.

The article basically details her attempts to speak to weather scientists and to ask them questions about current and future opportunities for reducing the damages done by hurricanes.  As with much non-fiction, it doesn’t seem worth it for me to summarize her research–just read the article, its quite enjoyable.

But the fun part comes from the scientist she had a really hard time interviewing.  She spends most of the article puzzling about why this renowned scientist won’t speak to her–won’t even see her.  She has many reasons at her disposal for why the man won’t speak to her–the man knew her father and maybe his eccentric and at times confrontational behavior put him off of her family. The true is far more amusing. (more…)

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James Breig–“Department of Deportment: Stances and Dances Made the Eighteenth-Century Man–and Woman” (Colonial Williamsburg: The Journal of the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation, Winter 2012)

Posted in 18th Century, 19th Century, Colonial Williamsburg, Essays, History, James Breig, Pearl Jam, Radiohead, Ryan Adams, Superchunk on April 12, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: RYAN ADAMS-“Like a Fool” from Score! 20 Years of Merge Records: The Covers (2009).

I don’t particularly like Ryan Adams’ songs, so I was surprised how much I liked this cover of a Superchunk song.  The cover has an interesting vibe, a kind of Pearl Jam (in the guitars) meets Radiohead (in the vocals) sound.  It’s not too different from the original, although, as with many of these covers, I like the recording quality better.  I know I love my lo-fi world, and I love Superchunk but these newer versions just sound better.

Adams has a good voice, and he adds just enough orchestration to make the song a wee bit more interesting than the original.

[READ: March 15, 2012] “Department of Deportment: Stances and Dances Made the Eighteenth-Century Man–and Woman”

This article was intriguing but wasn’t quite about what I wanted it to be about.  Also, what was weird about this article–not so much with the others in the magazine so far, is that the photographs look simply too modern.  Usually for period pieces there is a hint of aging done to the film.  Obviously for the magazine they want the best possible quality photo, but it just looks really…fake?  Obviously modern people in old homes and dress.

The other thing that is odd to me about this article is that it begins with the idea that the reader doesn’t know what deportment means, or  that we misunderstand its meaning.  The true meaning–upright behavior and moral uprightness–doesn’t seem that hard to grasp.

However, despite these criticisms the article has some interesting history to impart.  The idea was that Gentlemen and Ladies were educated and would act with honor.  And part of that honor was the way one stood and acted.  Thus, Gentlemen had to maintain deportment.  Etiquette books also taught how to treat people of equal–and lower–standing.  Some people tried to appear gentlemanly by quickly learning deportment–but rules were complex and fakers were easily caught.  And those who were caught were punished by being thrown out of  a party or by public ridicule. (more…)

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Jonathan Lethem–“The Porn Critic” (New Yorker, April 9, 2012)

Posted in Humiliation, Jonathan Lethem, Neutral Milk Hotel, New Yorker, Pornography, Sex, Short Story, The Apples in Stereo on April 11, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: THE APPLES IN STEREO-King of Carrot Flowers, Pt. 3 from Score! 20 Years of Merge Records: The Covers (2009).

The Apples in Stereo have made the first song on this covers disc in which I categorically like the original better.  I don’t know that much about the Apples in Stereo, although I know they are tangentially related to Neutral Milk Hotel.  But I don’t know if their style is in general like this version–keyboardy and simplistic, or if this is a goof project for them.

Of course, the original of this song, by Neutral Milk Hotel is an indie classic, so you’d be hard pressed to try to do a respectful version and make it sound better.  It’s nice they did something different, I just don’t like it as much.

[READ: April 6, 2012] “The Porn Critic”

This is a story that is superficially facile–it confirms the age-old belief that women just do not like porn.  And yet there’s some interesting dynamics at work that I found really enjoyable.

The story is about Kromer.  Kromer was believed to be a hedonistic satyr–that a life of partying, drugs and sex followed him wherever he went.  But that was not exactly true–he was around a lot of it, just never in the middle of it.  The debauchery in his life was all thanks to his friend Greta.

Greta has a trust fund that will not mature until she reaches 30.  She was so outraged at not having the trust fund that (and I love this phrasing) it “drove her mad with the determination to die squalorously before she became wealthy.”  Despite her lack of access to the fund, she did have at her disposal  her father’s “man.”  He would cater to her every whim at any hour of the day.

And so she lived the hedonistic lifestyle–drugs and drinking, closing out parties and hanging with wild transsexuals (and calling for deliveries from delis across town to the bar she was currently in).  And she also hung out with Kromer–who was terrified of her debauched friends, but loved the access to her father’s servant.

Kromer’s reputation was also helped because he worked in a porn shop called Sex Machines.  He worked for a local real estate maven who owned all kinds of stores–from coffee to video to adult marital aids.  I love the details of Sex Machines, and that its “interior and stock had been painstakingly derived from that of a famous San Francisco shop, founded by a sex-positive lesbian collective. In lieu of such a collective, the owner had installed Kromer,”  So instead of Toys in Babeland Manhattan got Sex Machine.

Sex Machine also published a newsletter which included reviews of the latest porn movies.  And Kromer was the sole reviewer–he watches dozens of films (the output is tremendous!) and tried to simplify their content for the clientele.

As a result, he had tons of porn movies lying around his house.  And as a result of that, very few people, women especially, had visited his apartment. (more…)

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Alice Munro–“Train” (Harper’s, April 2012)

Posted in Alice Munro, Canadian Content, Cancer as plot device, Destroyer, Harper's, Lavender Diamond, Mennonites, Religion, Short Story, The Decemberists, Trains on April 10, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: LAVENDER DIAMOND-“New Ways of Living” from Score! 20 Years of Merge Records: The Covers (2009).

This song plays around with the Destroyer original a little bit more than some of the other covers have.  Lavender Diamond’s lead vocalist is a woman, Becky Stark, so her voice is different from Dan Bejar’s.  Of course, Bejar’s voice is kind of high-pitched so it’s not that different.  The original also has a female backing vocal on all of the Lie-Dee-Dies, which Lavender Diamond supplies by herself.

The Destroyer version is softer, a bit more delicate (especially the ending section which is washes of strings and gentle keyboards).  Lavender Diamond’s version is primarily piano, and that starkness somehow makes the song more intense.  So yes,  I find myself enjoying the Lavender Diamond version a wee bit more.  I hadn’t heard much by Lavender Diamond before (I knew that Becky Stark was on the Decemeberists’ Hazards of Love album).  But I think it’s time to investigate her stuff a little bit more.

[READ: April 5, 2012] “Train”

I had put off reading this story for a little while because it was pretty long (12 pages in Harper’s which is quite long for a Harper’s story).  Not only was it justifiably long, it was thoroughly enjoyable.

The story was set up in an unexpected way (especially for Munro whose stories tend to be pretty straightforward).  It opens with a man jumping off a train (I also tend to think of Munro as writing about women, so a male protagonist is also something of a surprise).

So Jackson hops off of a train.  It was going slow, but it hurt more than he expected.  After he gets his bearings, he realizes that he is closer to civilization than he realized–indeed, there’s a woman out milking a cow.  The woman turns out to be Belle (the cow is Margaret Rose).

After years of reading different kinds of stories, there were so many different ways this meeting could have gone (most of them badly).  But Munro tends to not write about physical violence, so this meeting goes pretty well–it’s not even all that awkward because Belle is a sweet, almost naive, woman.

Belle lives by herself, although that is a recently development.  Her mother passed away a few months ago after decades of needing a lot of physical help.  Her father has been dead for many years–he was hit by a train.  He used to take care of Belle’s mother, but once he died, the responsibility was all hers.

She was also more or less supported by the Mennonites who live up the road.  The introduction of them is wonderful, as it is how Jackson sees them: “Over the hill came a box on wheels, being pulled by two quiet small horses….  And in the box sat half a dozen or so little men.   All dressed in black with proper black hats on their heads.”

Of course, these little men are the Mennonite children who look after her.  Jackson pities Belle, although she neither seeks it nor really deserves it.  She seems quite content with her situation.  He decides to stick around and fix up her house for her (which is in bad need of repair).  He imagines that he can work for her for a few months and then maybe help the Mennonites a bit and then continue on his way. (more…)

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Thomas Pynchon–[Week 7] Gravity’s Rainbow [Sections 3.11-3.15] (1973)

Posted in Africa, Big Books, Consumerism, Corporate skewering, Drinking, Drugs, Funny (ha ha), Funny (strange), Language, Military, Political Humor, Pranks, Racism, Research, Rocket 00000, Russia, Sex, Supernatural, Surreal, Technology, Thomas Pynchon, Threats, Travel, War on April 9, 2012| 3 Comments »

SOUNDTRACK: ROCKET 00000-What Women Want (2010).

This is the second band that I have discovered because of this novel.  I was looking for images to paste in last week’s post for Rocket 00000, and I came across this EP.

Rocket 00000 are a trio from Cincinnati and this is their first (and only) release.   It’s got a kind of 80s punk vibe–I can’t really make out the words, but I like the feel.

There’s something very raw and almost amateurish about the record–but that seems deliberate, because the album sounds very professional–it’s recorded well and the band is very tight.  And since I like the bandcamp site quite alot, I’m going to provide the link with extras here so you can listen to the album, too.

There’s four songs–two are 5 minutes and two are around 3 minutes.  The two longer ones have intros and outros that extend the music to those long (for punk songs) times.  And I really like these instrumental sections. In fact, when I first listened, I thought maybe the whole first track was an instrumental.  Since  I liked the tone of the album I was okay with that.

The “Summer City” part of “Summer City/Conspiracy Theory” has a simple but effective guitar solo as an instrumental.  After about a minute and a half “Conspiracy Theory” kicks in, the vocals bring a new texture and a punk element into the song.  “Lethal Weapon 2 & 4” has a great title, but it doesn’t sound all that different from the other songs (although the lyrics, “We’re not perfect…but neither are you” are pretty clear).

“Signs” has some cool drum breaks and fills, and the end of the song is musically interesting.    “Braveheart: Forever Young” probably combines the music and vocals  best–I like the  upbeat music with the dark words.  The song ends with about 2 and a half minutes of instrumental (with interesting feedback) that works really well together.

It’s not the best punk EP, but it’s got some good qualities and the band has a good name.  I wonder how they “say” it?

[READ: Week of April 2] Gravity’s Rainbow 3.11-3.15

After last week’s breezy read, I figured that this week’s would be a bit rougher.  But for the most part, it wasn’t–aside from the very end which was a little hard to stomach.  There was a lot of technical discussion in this section–which was a  bit hard to comprehend.  There was a also a return of Franz Pökler–where we learned his story and what happened to him.  We assumed that he was killed by a police truncheon, but that turns out to be untrue.  His story is pretty dark and sad.  Sorry, as Marco points out below, it was Peter Sachsa who was killed by truncheon.  My conspiracy has been called out!

Section 3.11 opens uncomfortably with Franz Pökler… copulating with Leni in an aggressive and rough manner.  He has just come back from showing of Alpdrücken and imagines that it’s Margherita underneath him.  He assumes that men all over the country are doing the same thing because of the movie.  He calculates that it was that night that Ilse was conceived–they’d barely had sex around that time.  This flashback brings us forward to the scene of Franz waiting for Ilse to return to Zwölfkinder—a kind of children’s fantasy playground which would prove to be a very significant location for them. (more…)

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Rivka Galchen–“Once an Empire” (Harper’s, February 2010)

Posted in Broken Social Scene, Canadian Content, Consumerism, Funny (strange), Harper's, King Missile, Rivka Galchen, Short Story, The Clean on April 6, 2012| 2 Comments »

SOUNDTRACK: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE-“Complications” from Score! 20 Years of Merge Records: The Covers (2009).

I liked Broken Social Scene’s first album quite a lot.  This is their cover of a song by The Clean.  I know of The Clean from the Topless Women Talk about Their Lives soundtrack although not this particular song.  (What’s with all these New Zealand bands being on Merge?)  I found the original song online.  Interestingly, the original version is only 2 minutes long.  But Broken Social Scene always does things by double, so their version is 4 minutes long.

The cover version opens with a young person saying “This song was written before ‘Born to Run,'” although as far as I can tell “Complications” was written in 2001. So who knows.

The cover is a fuzzy, ramshackle mess of a song, which is not to say that it isn’t good (the original is kind of ramshackle, too).  The prominent melody doesn’t exactly remind me of “Born to Run” but I can see the connection.  The big question is, what does BSS do with the extra two minutes?  Well, mostly they jam, with some wild soloing–but it’s all mixed just under the fuzz of the noise.

This is another strangely faithful cover (5 in a row so far) for this covers album.  And once again, I think I like the cover a little better.

[READ: April 1, 2012] “Once an Empire”

Clearly I wasn’t reading every story that came in Harper’s back in 2010, because I know I skipped this one.  But now that I’m quite fond of Rivka Galchen, I decided it was time to go back and check it out.

How can you not like a story that starts out: “I’m a pretty normal woman, maybe even an extremely normal one.”  You know that normal things will not be afoot by the end of the story, right?  And so it is, by the second paragraph: “I never thought I’d be the victim of an especially unusual crime.  Or of any crime, really.”

You’re totally hooked, right? Me too!

The narrator takes her wonderfully sweet time getting to the crime: dithering over whether or not it was Tuesday night (“Every Tuesday night I go and see whatever is playing at the movie theater nearby.  I’m not choosy.  I’m happy to see what everyone else is going to see.”) or Wednesday morning. Talking about the giant clock/thermometer on the Jehovah’s Witness Watchtower that keeps her company.  And then describing her walk home.

She notices that her windows are dark–she always leaves her lights on.  And then, she notices that some thing–not something, some thing–is emerging from one of her windows.  And as she focuses, she realizes it is her ironing board. (more…)

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