[LISTENED TO: August 2019] The Schwa Was Here
I know about Neal Shusterman because Sarah really loved his Arc of a Scythe series. I love the cover design of that series, but I haven’t read the books (yet).
I was looking for audio books for our summer vacation and found that Shusterman had written a lot of books before the series. Including this one, The Schwa Was Here.
I have always loved the word “schwa.” I never full understood it I just knew it was represented by the upside down e [like this: ǝ]. The epigram of the book actually explains a schwa pretty well. So here’s the simple version:
The schwa sound is the most common vowel sound. A schwa sound occurs when a vowel does not make its long or short vowel sound.
I also had no idea that this was part a series until I looked it up. The series is called the Antsy Bonano Novels. Now I ‘m curious to see where this series goes.
I loved the audio book because Shusterman reads it in his greatest Brooklyn accent. And while the characters aren’t thoroughly diverse is voice, they are diverse enough to keep the characters straight. But his accent is awesome. And it’s relevant because Antsy is a Brooklyn boy through and through and he addresses the way they talk.
As soon as his brother says a bad word, their mother “hauls off and whacks him on the head in her own special way… ‘You watch your mout!’ Mom says ‘mout’ not ‘mouth.’ We got a problem here with the ‘th’ sound.”
They also have problems with vowels. He is Anthony, but known as Antny (which became Antsy). And, his family are Catlick.
The book opens with a really fun scene of three boys throwing a body off a bridge. Pull back and realize that the body is actually a plastic dummy created by Antsy’s father. Antsy’s father works for Pisher plastics, you know, the little plastic things in urinals? Pisher has been trying to come up with an indestructible plastic and it was up to Antsy and his friends (one a budding filmmaker) to devise ways to get this dummy broken–field test the thing. They named him Manny Bullpucky. Manny because he’s a mannequin and the last name because when his dad said it was indestructible Antsy’s brother said that was bullpucky (except he didn’t say bullpucky).
Antsy starts talking about the Schwa. The Schwa was also there watching them, but they didn’t notice. The Schwa was really hard to notice in general–he just seemed to blend in with the background. In fact, Schwa was in Anty’s class but Antsy didn’t realize it. In fact, he never noticed the Schwa before that day. The Schwa happened to be nearby and while the boys were discussing Manny’s condition–his head came off, but was otherwise unbroken–The Schwa was standing right there. In fact, they didn’t even see him right away–they first saw Manny’s head bobbing in the air.
Because as the back of the book notes, “they say his clothes blend into the background no matter where he stands. They say that if you stare at him long enough you can see what’s written behind him on the wall. This is the schwa effect.”
The Schwa is so forgettable that Antsy constantly forgets about the Schwa while he’s telling this story Even when he really wants to remember him, he forgets him. It’s very frustrating for him–but funny for us.
The way this book starts, it seems like it might be sci fi. But the really fascinating thing about the book is the many different directions and styles this story went in. We were continually surprised as we realized that first it was one thing and then it was another thing, and each thing was more compelling than the last.
The book also has very funny chapter titles that guide you along like “The Weird and Mostly Tragic History of the Schwa, Which is Entirely True if You Trust My Sources” and “Quantizing the Schwa Effect Using the Scientific Method, and All That Garbage.”
In the latter chapter, Antsy and his friends try to determine just how invisible The Schwa is by running some tests in school–hilarious tests–with fascinating results. Then, since he is so invisible they think of ways to profit from it–not through illegal means but by having Schwa go places to see if he is caught.
It’s not until one of the kids in class dares him to sneak into Crazy Crawley’s house, that the story changes dramatically.
Crawley is an old man who never ever leaves his house. He is rumored to be completely wealthy and powerful. It was believed that he single-handledly caused the egg shortage in Brooklyn and Long Island when some kids egged his house. He is scary and intimidating. And the kids wonder if the Schwa can sneak into his place and steal a dog bowl. Crawley has 14 dogs amusingly named after the 7 virtues and the 7 vices.
Things do not go as planned (with again some very funny results) and Antsy and the Schwa are forced to do work for Crawley (instead of Crawley calling the cops). Antsy and The Schwa are required to walk Crawley’s dogs every day after school–one at a time.
Antsy starts to learn a bit more about Crawley. They develop a grudging kind of distrust and respect for each other. Antsy actually talks back to him–something no one has ever done before. After a few weeks, Crawley offers Ansty a different job–a job to “date” his granddaughter while she is visiting for the summer.
Antsy has lots of thoughts about why this girl can’t get a date for herself or what’s wrong with her that she needs a chaperone. So the surprise comes along when she is his own age, is very cute and is very funny. The big difference is that she is blind.
So now the story focuses on blindness for a bit. Lexie turns out to be bold and sharp and very funny and she and Antsy get along very well. She also likes The Schwa. And the Schwa is excited because here’s someone who can actually see him.
The Schwa has one hobby–he collects paper clips. Paperclips are unseen but they are very important. He collects paperclips that have been to amazing places–the moon, the Titanic, all kinds of cool places. At some point he offers to give Antsy one of his prized paperclips in exchange “for Lexie.” Obviously Antsy says he can’t “give” Lexie to anyone, she’s not his to give. But he is willing to back off a bit for The Schwa. So when Lexie says that maybe he should stop being her paid escort, Antsy realizes that she felt the same way.
This story also focuses on families. Antsy’s family is very loud and expressive. They fight but they never fight fully. Antsy always seems to be there to make a fight go away before it goes too far. But then one day a fight comes to a head (in a funny but dramatic way) and Antsy realizes that everything is going to change in their house. He is convinced that his mom is going to leave them (because of what happened to the Schwa) but she decides to do something far more surprising. The Schwa’s dad is also no prize either, as the chapter title “The Weird Things Kids Do Don’t Even Come Close to the Weird Things Parents Do” suggests.
The Schwa’s mother is a point of gossip around the school. Everyone knows she’s gone, but no one knows why or how. Was she killed by his dad, or, as the prevailing rumor has it, did she just vanish in the grocery store one day? This has impacted Schwa terribly.
He reveals to Antsy that when he was a little boy she left him in the grocery store. He sat in the grocery cart and cried and cried and was ignored for what he felt was hours. He believed he was invisible.
So part of the story is also a mystery about what happened to Schwa’s mother. The truth is pretty surprising, but not really all that surprising.
Incredibly all of these threads tie together. Schwa’s mother and father. Antsy’s own family issues. His issues with his friends (who are a bit ticked off at how much time he winds up spending with The Schwa and Lexie). And then the whole matter of Lexie and Antsy and the Schwa. Even the whole matter of Crawley’s dogs is addressed. In fact, I am leaving out so many fascinating and wonderful things because it’s hard to believe they all fit in this one book. Like that Antsy’s dad is an amazing cook. Or that he gets fired under suspicious circumstances (could Crawley have something to do with it?). There’s a subplot with Antsy’s brother and even the story of a butcher. Amazingly, the book is only 228 pages (6 hours on disc).
Much of the tying together has to do with Crawley. Lexie is convinced that Crawley needs something traumatic to happen to him to break him out of his narrow world. And she needs Antsy to help. She’d like the Schwa to be there too. The chapter that finally deals with this turns into an exciting mystery scene.
The title of the book comes up both through The Schwa’s volition–in a wonderful crushing climax–and also through Antsy’s doing.
Despite all of the funny in the book it is still quite a sad premise. Also, the fact that there is an old man who would prefer solitude to the world around him isn’t all that happy either.
We thought the ending was a little disappointing, although an epilogue does straighten things out somewhat. It’s just surprising that the next Antsy Bonano story will not have the schwa in it (I assume).
Leave a Reply