SOUNDTRACK: D12-“Bizarre” (2001).
Hornby said that this track, a skit on the D12 album, was “I think the single most dispiriting moment of my professional life so far this millennium.” Which meant I had to see what was so horrible.
I didn’t want to listen to the whole D12 album because I basically agree with his sentiments, I just think he;s way over the top into curmudgeonland.
So this skit starts with guys talking about hos and general sex ideas. Then a guy introduces Bizarre (one of the D12) to Cindy. She asks about Eminem (which is pretty funny) and he says he doesn’t know who that is. He starts hitting on her and then farts very loudly. When she protests, “the fuck you didn’t” he says, “Girl chill out, that shit came from my soul.” Which also made me chuckle.
Then he farts loudly again and asks for a kiss. And that’s pretty much it.
It’s juvenile and light-hearted (which is probably necessary given how dark and misogynistic the rest of the album seems). But I can’t imagine anyone wanting to hear it more than once if you were actually listening to the album.
Nevertheless, you have to be a real curmudgeon to not enjoy humor in music. And, given his reaction to Blink 182, I’m guessing Hornby likes his bands to be Sophisticated, only.
[READ: September 10, 2020] “Pop Quiz”
I have enjoyed recent essays by Hornby in which he jokes about being a curmudgeon. But boy was he ever a real musical curmudgeon in 2001.
He says that back in July 1971, the top ten list included Sticky Fingers by The Rolling Stones, Whats Going On by Marvin Gaye, a live album by CSN&Y and Aretha Franklin Live at the Fillmore East. He says even the most curmudgeonly critics probably gushed over this list. [Let’s gloss over the fact that there were a lot fewer albums released back in 1971 and that record sales were pretty well determined by radio airplay etc–so you had a pretty set idea of what would be popular].
But now there are many different top ten lists, probably because most critics don’t like what’s on the actual top ten list. Many of those critics from 1971 are still critics today.
He says there is literary, critically approved pop–Wilco, Lucinda Williams, Nick Cave–none of whom trouble the Billboard statisticians much.
But he was unfamiliar with most of the people on the top ten on July 28, 2001. So he decided to listen to them all (more…)
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