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Rachel Lyon–“Tripping Sunny Chaudhry” [The 2017 Short Story Advent Calendar #24] (2016)

Posted in Blues Traveler, Brave Combo, Canadian Content, Chris Cornell, Christmas, Christmas Album, Dave Matthews Band, Drinking, Holidays, Hootie & The Blowfish, Huh?, Jack Black, Jonny Lang, Lies, Marriage (Happy), Natalie Merchant, No Doubt, Rachel Lyon, Run D.M.C, Salt-N-Pepa, Set at School, Set in New Jersey!, Sex, Sheryl Crow, Short Story, Smashing Pumpkins, Snoop Dog, Steve Winwood, Sting, Tenacious D, The Short Story Advent Calendar, Tracy Chapman on December 24, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS 3 (1997).

Sarah had this album on cassette, so I recently upgraded it to CD for her.  There are some good songs on here, but the end kind of degenerates into unpleasantness.  Looking at the track listing of the rest of the Very Special Christmas releases I can;t imagine ever getting (or even listening to) another one.

STING-“I Saw Three Ships”
Sting is back.  Compared to the previous song, this is a delightfully spare version of this song.  And it’s quite nice (and short).

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS-“Christmastime”
I’ve recently realized how much I dislike Corgan’s voice, but I do like his arranging.  This song is quite pretty and his voice is kind of submerged a bit so that’s good, too.

NATALIE MERCHANT-“Children Go Where I Send Thee”
O good Lord.  Sarah and I both like Natalie, but jeez this song is so repetitive and so freaking long.  One verse would have been fine.  But five? Hold crap.  I do like the “one for the little bitty baby” line, though.

REV RUN & THE CHRISTMAS ALL STARS FEATURING MASE, PUFF DADDY, SNOOP DOGGY DOGG, SALT-N-PEPA, ONYX & KEITH MURRAY-“Santa Baby” [NSFC]
Oh boy is this terrible.  A horrible update to a horrible song.  The original is kind of funny, but this is just excessive greed.  At least it mentions a ’98 benz so it is so dated that no one plays it anymore.

NO DOUBT-“Oi to the World”
Gotta say that I love this song.  It’s funny and fun and I would totally put this on a Christmas playlist.  This is back when I used to like Gwen Steafani.

SHERYL CROW-“Blue Christmas”
I don’t like this song and I’m mixed on Sheryl Crow, but this version works pretty well somehow.

BLUES TRAVELER-“Christmas”
I only know Blues Traveler from that one song with the long harmonica solo (I hate that harmonica sound).  But I love this song.  It actually reminds me a ton of Tenacious D (can t you just hear Jack Black singing this?)  It’s fun and really catchy.  I wonder if I need to listen to other Blues Traveler songs.

ENYA-“Oíche Chiún (Silent Night)”
This song is very pretty and I have the single for it.

HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH-“The Christmas Song”
Darius Rucker does have a good voice, but what the hell is going on in this cheesy phoned-in version?

CHRIS CORNELL WITH ELEVEN-“Ave Maria”
This is a nice (if not over the top–but is any version not over the top?).  But for heaven’s sake why is it 6 minutes long?

MARY J. BLIGE FEATURING ANGIE MARTINEZ-“Christmas in the City”
This is pretty much everything I hate in one Christmas song.  Cheesy beats, rambling verses, whiny choruses.

JONNY LANG-“Santa Claus Is Back in Town”
This is pretty close to everything else I hate in one Christmas song.  A blues song that feels like it goes on for 6 minutes.  Good grief.

DAVE MATTHEWS & TIM REYNOLDS-“Christmas Song”
This live version sounds better than the studio version I have elsewhere, but it’s still way too slow and mumbly and way way too long.

STEVE WINWOOD-“Christmas Is Now Drawing Near at Hand”
No one knows this “traditional” song, I’m sure.  It’s a slow English ballad, with no real melody.  I thought it was Peter Gabriel.  I kind of like it.

TRACY CHAPMAN-“O Holy Night”
This is an enjoyable version, understated and kind of weary-sounding.

PATTI SMITH-“We Three Kings”
My daughter rightly said that this version was very weird.  Patti is at her most Patti.  There’s  aton of mumbled spoken word competing with the song.  Even the chorus, which is so wonderfully catchy, is played like a dirge.  And like everything else bad on this record, it goes on for nearly 6 minutes.  CDs were bad for allowing people to sing for too long.

[READ: December 24, 2017] “Tripping Sunny Chaudhry”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection.

This story actually takes place on Christmas Eve!

The narrator and her husband head back to New Jersey for the holidays.  Back when she was younger, all the kids would head out to the woods for beers and a bonfire.

(more…)

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Rebecca Schiff–“How to Be a Slut” [The 2017 Short Story Advent Calendar #23] (2017)Fd.m

Posted in Alison Moyet, Bob Seger, Bon Jovi, Brave Combo, Bruce Springsteen, Bryan Adams, Canadian Content, Christmas Album, Eurhythmics, Feminism, History, Huh?, John Cougar Mellencamp, Madonna, Poetry, Rebecca Schiff, Run D.M.C, Sex, Sexism, Short Story, Stevie Nicks, Sting, The Pointer Sisters, The Pretenders, The Short Story Advent Calendar, U2, Virginity (Loss of), Whitney Houston on December 23, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS (1987).

I remember when this album came out.  I think it was one of the first Christmas albums in which a lot of very popular musicians contributed to it. Of course proceeds went to charity.  By now, 30 years later, many of these songs are deemed classic enough that you will hear them regularly at Christmas.

Suffice it to say I hated this when it came out.  Now, I have grown to appreciate (some of it) it more.

THE POINTER SISTERS-“Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”
I really didn’t like this song back then.  I think it has grown on me enough that I just don’t mind it any more and it is certainly a staple.

EURYHTMICS-“Winter Wonderland”
I really like Annie Lennox’s own Christmas album.  This song is fine, it’s a little too 80s sounding, but over all its enjoyable.

WHITNEY HOUSTON-“Do You Hear What I Hear?”
People really like to overdo this song.  This version is okay.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN AND THE E. STREET BAND-“Merry Christmas Baby”
This is a classic Christmas song by this point, but boy do I dislike the sax.

PRETENDERS-“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
This version I don;t thin I hear too much.  Probably because it’s understated and quite nice.

JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP-“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
I don’t particularly like this song.  I love the musical style that JCM plays, although I don’t like the way he sings it.

STING-“Gabriel’s Message”
I don’t know this at all, I guess everyone skips it.  It’s rather pretty if you can get past the fact that it’s Sting at his more pretentious.

RUN-D.M.C.-“Christmas in Hollis”
This is an all time favorite.  The song is fantastic and must be heard every year.  I live that I write a Christmas card that goes to someone in Hollis.

U2-“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”
I’ve heard this a million times.  I don’t particularly like this song, but I do like this version.

MADONNA-“Santa Baby”
My most hated Christmas song, done by Madonna at her most grating.  Ugh.

BOB SEGER & THE SILVER BULLET BAND-“The Little Drummer Boy”
Can Bob Seger ever do anything that doesn’t sound like him?  I don’t really like this song, but this version is kind of fun given how over the top it is.

BRYAN ADAMS-“Run Rudolph Run”
Never liked this song either.  It’s a lame lyrics to make into a rock n roll Christmas song.  All versions sound basically the same to me.

BON JOVI-“Back Door Santa”
I do not know this song at all.  Is it always skipped because it’s so bad?  Man the synths are awful.  Although it makes me realize just how unfair it was to both Bon Jovi and heavy metal that they were lumped into the same category.

ALISON MOYET-“The Coventry Carol”
I think Alison Moyet is the only artist here who most people probably don’t know today.  Her voice is really great though and this song is very cool.  Not exactly my favorite here, but certainly the most interesting.

STEVIE NICKS-“Silent Night”
It’s entirely possible that Stevie Nicks forgot how to sing on this song.  She seems really flat and then doesn’t even do most of the lead vocals half way through the song.  The “grace notes” are appalling too.

So it seems that the songs that were pretty good have stayed with us, the rest have faded away.  And there are a couple that need to be brought into rotation again.

[READ: December 23, 2017] “How to Be a Slut”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection. (more…)

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Nathaniel Hawthorne–“The Christmas Banquet” [The 2017 Short Story Advent Calendar #22] (1846)

Posted in 19th Century, Angst, Canadian Content, Christmas Album, Death, Demons, Fears, Food, Huh?, Humiliation, Jealousy, Lies, Marriage Trouble, Morality, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Nightmares, Regrets, Religion, Short Story, The Short Story Advent Calendar, Violence on December 22, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: ‘TIS THE SEASON: Praise and Worship Christmas: A Collection of Inspirational Holiday Classics (2001).

s-l500This Christmas Collection came from Sarah.  As you can tell from the title and subtitle and sub-subtitle, this is a religious disc.  And as you can tell from the title and subtitles, they have gone way over the top.

The group consists of a bunch of performers and a choir from something called The Evergreen Community Church/The Rock.  Presumably not the actor The Rock, although that would be pretty cool.

As with a lot of contempo-Christian music, they’ve decided to add a rock flair to it.  So these are 13 songs sung very passionately and with little restraint.  Because if you can have an echo pedal, you should use it.  And for some reason, nothing says Christmas like alto saxophone.

“O Come All Ye Faithful” features that sax prominently.  Up next, I was pretty surprised to hear a rocking harmonica solo on “Joy to the World.”  For the most part the folkiness was okay until the choir at the end.

“Do You Hear What I Hear” has a solid drum machine and an excess of R&B vocals.  Up next, the music for “What Child is This?” is understated and pleasant.  Shame that the singer is shooting for the rafters.  Their version of “Go Tell It On the Mountain” is not gospel-tinged and, stranger yet, they changes the stress of the chorus to the “ow” of mountain.

“Angels We Have Heard on High” brings that saxophone back and back and back.   “O, Little Town of Bethlehem” has a quiet piano motif, but once again, it is oversung.

“We Wish You A Merry Christmas” makes excessive use of that echo pedal on the vocals.  “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” was pretty good.  No complaints.

But try to imagine just how over the top and ponderous you could make an a capella (plus echo) version of “O Come, O Come Emmanuel.”

“Silent Night” loses all of its power in this folkie rendition.  I’m noticing the fretless bass and cheesey sax rather that the echoed vocals.  Amazingly, “Amazing Grace” is understated musically with just an acoustic guitar but the singer overcompensates.

The disc ends on a high note (not literally).  On “Joy to the World” the folkie harmonica and guitar work nicely.

[READ: December 22, 2017] “The Christmas Banquet”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection. (more…)

Read Full Post »

Kelly Link–“The Game of Smash and Recovery” [The 2017 Short Story Advent Calendar #20] (2017)

Posted in Canadian Content, Chanukah Album, Christmas Album, Guster, Huh?, Iain M. Banks, Kelly Link, Outer Space, Sci-fi, Short Story, The LeeVees, The Short Story Advent Calendar, The Zambonis, Unreliable narrator, Vampires on December 20, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: THE LEEVEES-Hanukkah Rocks (2005).

The collection of Hanukkah songs is fantastic. I love this album more than a guy who doesn’t celebrate Hanukkah should.

The LeeVees are Adam Gardener from Guster and Dave Schneider  from The Zambonis (with help from The Time Share Choir).  Dave and Adam write super catchy poppy-but-rocking songs all about the holiday.  Most of them are funny or have a humorous aspect, but the songs all rock and stand up to repeated listens.

“Latke Clan” begins as a sweet ode to everyone’s favorite potato pancake  “Santa is cool but Hanukkah Harry’s the man, come and join of Latke Clan.”

“Applesauce vs Sour Cream” is the perennial decision you have to make with your latkes.  “just tell you mom to fry, not bake.”

“Goyim Friends” Goyim friends make lists and get snowboards and paintball guns, but “we will march on, six pairs of socks from each other’s mom.”

“At the Timeshare” is a hilarious, catchy song.  It’s swinging and loungey and is all about their parents wanting to live down at the time share in Boca or was it Boynton.  Or Daytona. Or Talahassee (There’s no Jews there).

“How do you spell Channukkahh?” is a hilarious goof on the spelling of this holiday and it totally rocks.

“Kugel” is a sweet mournful song about how times change–“you were once sweet and creamy, no you’re low-fat.”

“Jewish Girls”  Go to the mitzvah Ball, you may be surprised to find who is in the tribe.

“Gelt Melts”  This punky number says what everyone knows–if you keep the gelt in your pocket, you’ll be sorry.  “If goys can eat an Easter Bunny, why can’t we eat chocolate money.”

“Nun, Gimmel Heh Shin”  Yup, a dreidel song without the music from the dreidel song.

“There’s” also a bonus track called “Holiday,” a simple acoustic guitar song with the two guys singing about a lovely relaxing holiday.

[READ: December 20, 2017] “The Game of Smash and Recovery”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection.

This was one of those stories where the character and setting are otherworldly–completely alien.  The main characters have a full story arc, and yet we are never provided any kind of context for where or even what they are.

The question is, of course, does it matter.

In some respects, no, and yet it is so frustrating to read this whole thing and have so many fundamental questions unanswered.

The main character is Anat.  She loves Oscar, her brother, who has raised her practically from childhood.  Their parents have been absent for as long as she can remember.  They left when they realized that Anat was different–what was she? (more…)

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Arthur Yorinks, Braden Lamb & Shelli Paroline–Making Scents (2017)

Posted in #10yearsof01, Adoption, Arthur Yorinks, Babies, Braden Lamb, Canadian Music, Children's Books, Constantines, Death, Dogs, First Second :01, Funny (strange), Graphic Novel, Huh?, Mennonites, NoMeansNo, Rheostatics, Shelli Paroline, The Tragically Hip, tagged on December 15, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Fall Nationals, Night 8 of 10, The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto (December 15, 2005).

This was the 8th night of their 10 night Fall Nationals run at the Horseshoe.  Guest Vocalist Night.  Ford Pier on keyboards.

This guest vocalist night is a bit smaller than previous ones.  There aren’t twenty-six singers.  There’s only fourteen in total and a bunch of them sing two songs.  The show also runs just over 2 hours with the band singing some of their own songs at the end.   It’s like a tight, efficient guest night rather than a sprawling one.

Ford calls it “karaoke night.”  Dave nixes that, “Lets not call it that.  You have to be far more hammered to do that.”  Ford: “This is more like Star Search.  Mike sets forth the terms: “henceforth, we will be effectively mute except in support roles.”

As usual, they open with an instrumental “Four Little Songs.”  It’s always really interesting to hear this multi-part song with just the music.

“Produce the first victim!”

Here’s Selina Martin singing “Soul Glue” which segues into a very pretty “California Dreamline” (also by Selina).

Next up are Nick and Graham from Belleville.  Dave asks, “How’s Belleville?”  “No snow there.”  “It’s the Winter Nationals Pro-Am” as they sing “Fat” and do a terrific job.

Jennifer Foster comes out to sing “The Woods Are Full Of Cuckoos.”  Tim says, “Jen’s trying to play ‘stump the band.'”  Ford jokes, “Maybe you’ll wind up playing keyboard next year.”  Dave: “Coz we’re firing Ford’s ass.”  It is such a shame the mic gets staticky and cuts out because she does a good job with this hard song.  She notes, “its cutting in and out.”  Tim:”So were our brains.”

Then there’s a double shot of Don Kerr.  He says he’s going to do a double shot from his favorite album.  A terrific “Introducing Happiness” is followed by a change of selection.  He says he changed it just today.  They do “Fan Letter To Michael Philip.”  Don says it’s a real fan letter.  Dave: Don Kerr will personalize  a song to you for a small fee.”

Some of the lyrics:

I have all your records/
I have even helped you make a few
Among my favorite producers would be
Tchad Blake and you
…
I  would like a fan club letter/
but one of your Juno awards would suit me better
…
When i joined the Rheostastics / I was met by a lot of Dave Clark fanatics
I know they did the same thing to you / but just like me you made it through

During the end there are backing vocal chants of “Wojewoda.”  He must have been pretty overwhelmed.

Patrick Finch comes on to sing “Junction Foil Ball.”  Dave asks him, “And how’s that go exactly?”  Patrick: “It’s nice.”  And they do a great version.

I am amused to hear that someone is shouting requests.

Sarah Harmer comes out two songs.  A sweet “Loving Arms” (I love that Tim adds the spoken “Jeez, I don’t know” line, which is part of the song but it sounds amusing and sweet.  Mike: “That somehow just sounded right.”  It’s followed by a wonderful “Claire.”

Paul McLeod comes out and Ford says, “This guys isn’t as good-looking at the last one.”  Dave, “I don’t know, have you ever seen him in bicycle shorts?”  He does an excellent version of “Jesus Was Once A Teenager Too.”

Sean Cullen comes out for two songs.  “Power Ballad For Ozzy Osbourne” has a terrific voice for this rather silly song.  At the end, he scream/sings “he’s going off the rails.”   Then Cullen does a lengthy improvised Christmas Song.  It’s very funny and a twisted retelling of the Jesus story.  Some amusing lines:

Joseph was good with his hands and good with the ladies.
There was going to be a huge new tax. What an asshole Caesar was.
100s of men with their young pregnant wives clogging the roads.
They put him in a manger, which was weird, because cows were trying to eat.
The horse said to the turkey, you look ridiculous, look at you.  Sit down and shut up (the horse was a real asshole).
The turkey said I’m going to fight for Jesus.
The temple guard laughed because it was a turkey.  The guards fought and killed him, filled him with seasoned bread and threw him on the fire.
The angel came down and said you bastards.
The guards said, lets eat it and take a bit of him home with us.
We dream of that first Christmas where a turkey gave his life.  And the horse was an asshole.
It’s the Christmas turkey on Christmas day.  Thank you turkey for fighting for Jesus.
Dave: “I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.”
Mike: “What album was that off of?”

Robin Lowe comes out to sing “Sweet Rich Beautiful and Mine.”  Robin has been selling stuff for us this week.  Public congratulations, Robin got married to Steve Clarkson, our sound man, this week.  Robin sings a duet with Martin.  Dave: “Well, isn’t that sort of cheating, Robin?”  Robin hits some amazing high notes.  They sound great together.  This version gives me chills.

“Take Me In Your Hand” is sung by Howard Druckman and Beverly Kreller.  Howard is one of our oldest and dearest friends.  Dave: “I’ve been demoted to bass.”  They’re giving the rest of the band a break.”  The song ends with penny whistle and bongos.

Yawd Sylvester comes out to sing Tim’s song “Row.”  Tim Vesely, Yawd’s rhythm guitarist.  Yawd went on tour with Violet Archers and Tim promised it would  be Rheos-free.  But after the encore, Yawd would go out for a smoke and Tim would do “Row” as an encore.  It’s a bit too slow and the world is incredibly rude throughout the quietness.

Ida Nilsen comes out to sing Marginalized.  It’s a little too un-intense.   Tim Sings the Vic Chesnutt song “Little Caesar” at the end.”

Paul Linklater from Justice, Manitoba, the Scribbled Out Man, comes out to sing “Horses.”  He’s great for the song. At some point Paul starts chanting “Put away wet” for some reason.  Dave says guys, throw it into G for a second.  Dave starts playing a simple riff which Ford turns into “Hang on Sloopy.”  Which he sings: “I don’t know the words to hang on sloopy / that’s okay it’s not a Rheostatics song / so we shouldn’t do it / It’s all wrong.
“Back to B minor.  Now its a Tragically Hip song.”   Paul is really intense at the end.

Someone shouts, “Soul Glue.”  Dave replied, “we did it the first song!”

Justin Rutledge utterly rips through “Feed Yourself.”  It is just rocking and intense.

Ron Koop comes up and Dave says, “Mennonites are the most ticklish people.  Ron, you’re so ticklish.  I don’t mean to generalize, but generally…”

Oddly, someone keeps shouting “Hey, it’s Christmas, play The River, please.  C’mon Gordy, save us.  The River!”  Mike mutters: “shut up.”

Ron sings a lovely “Making Progress.”  And at the end she says, “How about the best band in Canada.”  Dave: “Are the Constantines here?”

They come back for an encore and say “we’ll do a couple where we sing just to mix things up and get ready for tomorrow.”

Dave also asks, “Shauna, can we get some new flowers.  Are replacement flowers in the budget?  They’re starting to bum me out.”  Martin: “Strangely just yours are dying, Dave.”

“PIN it up, Marty.”   In the middle Dave sings “I want some flowers.”  Tim notes: Thanks to Great Aunt Ida for opening tonight.  They were awesome.”

In the audience, that ass is still screaming for The River.  So Ford sings.

When I speak the words I repeat
Are lost within this roaring

I know the one by No Means No, it takes about 9 minutes to play, but it can be done.

They end the nearly two and a half hour show with “Stolen Car.”  Tim starts by playing “Jingle Bells” on the bass really quietly.  But then the song rocks out to the end.

A final note from Darrin, who posts all of these shows:

10 Years later I randomly met Robin Lowe on Sept 4th, sold Jennifer Foster my spare ticket for the Saturday night AGO show on Sept 5 2015, and Selina sang with the band on Sept 6 at the Monarch Tavern after AGO Party.

[READ: July 27, 2017] “Making Scents”

My nine-year-old daughter Tabby liked this book.  And I know that because as I was complaining about the massive problems I had with it, she said she liked it.  So, I guess its good for nine-year-olds.

But I like a lot of books that are good for nine-year-olds.  And I did not like this one.

The premise is a weird one to start: Mickey’s parents raise bloodhounds.  As such, they teach him to be a great sniffer as well.  Cute, right?

The story begins with Mickey writing his life story: “First I was born.”  Next half of the sentence… “then I was put in a tree.”

What?  So he is an abandoned baby and someone thought it would be smart to put him in a tree in the woods?

The next scene puzzled me even more. (more…)

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Ken Liu–“The Journal” [The 2017 Short Story Advent Calendar #15] (2015)

Posted in Andy Williams, Bing Crosby, Canadian Content, Christmas, Christmas Album, Dan the Automator, Duke Ellington, Goose, Huh?, Johnny Mercer, Kay Starr, Ken Liu, Louis Armstrong, Marriage Trouble, Short Story, Surreal, The Short Story Advent Calendar, Velma Middleton, Word usage on December 15, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: CHRISTMAS REMIXED: Holiday Classics Re-Grooved (2003).

This has been one of my favorite Christmas albums for many years now.  Most of the songs remain faithful to the original with just an upbeat drum track underneath the vocals.  I’m sure some parts are sped up and some parts are looped over and over.  But it’s all in good fun and really gets these songs moving, tastefully.

Andy Williams – “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” (A Shrift Remix)
We liked this song so much we used it for a home video one year.  The horns are terrific and Andy Williams is pretty awesome in general.

Bing Crosby – ” Happy Holiday” (Beef Wellington Remix).
This song adds a big old fun dancey drum beat and loops the orchestration.

Dean Martin – “Jingle Bells” (Dan the Automator Remix)
There’s some fun scratching on this and Dan manipulates Dean’s voice here and there.

Kay Starr – “I’ve Got My Love To Keep Me Warm” (Stuhr Remix)
A big fun bass line is looped and a horn melody is tacked on. I think her voice is sped up a tad, but it’s not too noticeable.

The Cathedral Brass – “Joy to the World” (Mocean Worker Remix)
This track adds some drums and some synths to a jolly instrumental.

Johnny Mercer – “Winter Wonderland” (Rise Ashen’s Brazilian Beach Mix)
Lots of drums and percussion added to this.

Charles Brown – “Merry Christmas Baby” (MNO Remix)
They have stripped out a lot of the music in this and made it kind of slow.  The original is my least favorite Christmas song and the is my least favorite track here.

Berlin Symphony Orchestra – “Nutcracker Suite” (Baz Kuts Breaks Mix)
But this is one of my favorites. I love the Nutcracker and this is just a an awesome way to add some other kinds of dance to it.

Louis Armstrong & Velma Middleton – “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” (Mulato Beat Remix)
Both performers had a blast with this original song.  And Mulato Beat don’t do all that much to it–mostly playing around with Louis’ performance–leaving in all of the laughs that were in the original and just making it a bit more dancey.

Duke Ellington – “Jingle Bells” (Robbie Hardkiss Remix)
I love the way this one loops a small part of the horn melody as a hook and then uses all of the tubular bells to push the song along.

Bing Crosby – “The First Noel” (Attaboy House Party Mix)
This opens with Bing talking over a thumping beat and then the whole choir sings along and it really works.

Mel Tormé – “The Christmas Song” (Michael Kessler Open Fire Mix)
This is slow version by the Velvet Fog.  They echo Tormé’s vocal on sounds seven more foggy.  A mellow ending to a righteous disc.

[READ: December 1, 2017] “The Journal”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection

This story was pretty trippy.

On her 12th wedding anniversary, Laurie found her husband’s journal in the nightstand.  She flipped through it without actually reading it. She saw words like dinner, rest, etc, as well as some pictures.  Nothing useful, but she felt bad for snooping.

It had been a long time since she felt close to him.  That night, they went out to dinner and had a polite meal.

The next morning she woke up and every time she looked at words, they seemed to wiggle off the page until the page was blank. (more…)

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Sharon Shinn & Molly Knox Ostertag–Shattered Warrior (2017)

Posted in #10yearsof01, Adventure, Canadian Music, Death, Fantasy, First Second :01, Graphic Novel, Huh?, Humiliation, Kat Burns, Leeroy Stagger, Molly Knox Ostertag, Rheostatics, Sharon Shinn, tagged on December 12, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Fall Nationals, Night 5 of 10, The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto (December 12, 2005).

This series of shows contains the final Rheostatics live shows that are left to write about–except for their “final shows” and their “reunion shows.  This was the 5th night of their 10 night Fall Nationals run at the Horseshoe. Ford Pier was on keyboards.

This show is just under 2 hours. The site notes: “The entire audio had a major sound issue part way through “The Land Is Wild” and into “Superdifficult.” I used a Mark Slogget Soundboard mixed track to bridge the glitch. Better than just cutting it out.”  I can’t even tell.

As the show opens, Martin says “Hi there.  Shhhh.”  And then plays a delicate “Digital Beach” which segues into a rather quiet “Earth/Monstrous Hummingbirds.”  After which Martin says, ” I see what you mean by curveball night, Dave.”

Dave says that this is the Winter Nationals, the Traditional Monday Night Free for All.  If we play any of these songs too well, you can always request a refund.  This set will definitely feature excessive keyboard solos (it doesn’t really).

After an almost expectedly sloppy “Soul Glue,” Dave talks of playing a song from 1987, “Woodstuck” that they recorded on their first trip to Vancouver.  I wonder whatever became of that recording.  Ford talks about Ceez English (sp?) who produced that record and then became a porn mogul.

Introducing “P.I.N.” Martin says he has three chords, literally and the truth and a standup drummer and the Thundergod Tim Vesely.

Introducing “I Dig Music,” Dave says, “Were’ gonna fuck this up real good.”  M.P.W. forgets the words to his part and then seems to make up some comical ones “Seymour Slime.”  When it’s over Dave says,”Okay we know that now, let’s do it again.” Mike notes: “the long list of ‘Oh yeah, right.'”  Dave then says that Martin will be starring in the biopic of Seymour Stein.”  Martin is upset:  “What?  What are you saying about me in front of my friends?”  “It’s the leather vest.” Much chatter about vests in general.

They move on to the most rocking version of “Sunshine at Night” that I’ve heard.  There’s some really loud ripping guitars.

Dave says, “Here’s a hockey song.  I vowed I would never write another hockey song, having written two books and a bunch of songs already.  I’m a hacker.  A hacker in everything I do.”  The keyboards sound great on “The Land is Wild,”  they add nice effects and accents.

Ford mentions that every night so far he has peed in the same urinal.  So tonight he peed in the one with the picture of Garth Brooks. “Didn’t care for it.”  Martin jokes: “It’s the tight tight tight jeans.  Garth is th e puking stall.”  Dave: “I saw on the TV that he got married to Trisha Yearwood.”  Mike: “Trisha Urinal?”  Martin: “She Pro-tools country, right?  Autotune country.  Robocountry.”

They play a quick and pretty “Superdifficult,” ironically (or not) with Martin’s robotic voice

Dave talks about the upcoming shows and promises that guest vocalist night will be the best one yet.  And I’m not just blowing smoke out my ass or up your ass.  Martin: “Do you have to be so vulgar?”  Dave: ” It’s refreshing swearing at someone other than my children.”

They play a lovely “Try To Praise This Mutilated World.”  I really love when they come out of the poem (you can really hear the poem on this recording).  Martin agrees that he loves that song.

They play a slow and rather shambolic version of “Record Body Count.”  At the end, Martin plays a groovy chord and Mike notes: “Sounds like he died in Reno.”  Martin agrees, although he says Rio.  “You can always count on that triangular A chord to make you sound jazzy.”

This leads to a really long “Desert Island Discs” with these picks:
Dave: Ramones-Rocket to Russia; Sly and the Fmaily Stone; Tom Waits-Heartattack and Vine.
Ford: Violet Archers-End of Part One; Martin Tielli-Operation Infinite Joy; (Mike: brown nosing) and the book on tape of Dave Bidini’s last book and Faceless Forces of Bigness DVD.  Hey, I know who is signing the paychecks.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ron Koop: Miles Davis-In a silent way; that new album by Pete Eccles-Party of One’  (Tim: remember you’re on a desert island by yourself for all of eternity. ) Can I change my choice?  (Mike: no food, try and get albums that have food in them)  Led Zeppelin 2.
Tim: Bob Marley-Survival; Ry Cooder-Paradise & Lunch; Vic Chesnutt–Is the Actor Happy?
Audience member: Rush-Moving Pictures; Rheostatics-Harmelodia; Elliott Smith-XO
Mike: Deep Purple-Machine Head; Gentle Giant live record from 1978; Steve Reich-Music for a Large Ensemble (Tim: definitely sounds like a party of one).
Martin: I don’t listen to music.  Dave: “You’re more of a ring tone guy, right?”  Mike: “What’s your favorite movie that you own.”  Dave: “Hold on that’s different music.”  They play a ripping fast song.  Martin: “Local Hero, anything by John Cassavetes.  I like movies, not music.  Movies got it all.  Music, pictures, sound, light and (ha ha) great acting.
Dave ends the song properly with the E minor chord and Martin says “I remember when you discovered how menacing the E minor chord is.”  Dave: “That’s right, if my kids won’t eat, E minor.”

What’s on the platter next?

The French song?  Tim doesn’t want to do the French song.  Dave’s not going to remember the words to some song, he’ll do it tomorrow?

After “Power Ballad For Ozzy Osbourne” Dave says, “That’s Roger Lord on the keyboard.  I mean Jon Lord.”  Then Selina Martin comes out to sing “Dope Fiends and Boozehounds.”  It’s followed by “Self Serve Gas Station” which ends with Martin playing a really rocking version of the song and then the band filling in while he solos.

They start “When Winter Comes” which turns into a with all kinds of things: a quick run through “Song Of Flight” (with some really heavy guitars) and then onto what sounds like Martin trying to play the “Four Little Songs” ending and then finally getting it where they jam it out.  And then Dave begins the lyrics to the second section of “When Winter Comes” (in the blue Canadian winter).  Dave ends there and says thanks, but Martin and Mike play a rocking ending to the show before they take an encore break.

Dave comes out to play “Song Ain’t Any Good” on solo acoustic.    3:37  Someone shouts out for “Holy Macinaw, Joe”  Dave says that song is called “Horses” which makes people cheer, but he says, “this song’s not gonna come within 100 feet of that song.”  At the end of the songs, Dave says, Tim we missed your bad drumming.  Your good bad drumming you know what I mean.

Dave says “We have many Americans who come up to see us during Fall Nationals.  This is Rich and Greg from For Wayne, IN.  This is their big 5.”  They ask for a picture of the band and then one of them all giving him the finger.”  Mike notes that Taylor from Planet of the Apes And M*A*S*H’s Frank Burns are both from Fort Wayne, IN,. Rich and Greg sing “Take Me in Your Hand.”  They’re okay, one of them is a little flat.

Dave then says, we’re going to do one and a half songs. And remember tomorrow is totally free.  We’re playing with Kat Burns and Leeroy Stagger (and we’re gonna suck).  Mike: Leroy Stagger? Really?  He’s Caroline Mark’s hairdresser.”  They play “Song of the Garden” and end the whole show with the ending of “When Winter Comes” (the warm Victoria ending).

It’s a solid show and almost 2 hours long.

[READ: July 12, 2017] Shattered Warrior

I haven’t read anything by Sharon Shinn, but I did recognize her name (and Ostertag’s as well).

The story is set in a village (presumably on Earth).  Collen Cavanaugh’s home world was conquered by the Derechets, an alien race who are large and smart and have super strong technology.  They are using this planet’s resources for fuel and weapons.  And they take no guff from anyone–stepping out of line gets you work detail that will likely kill you.

Coleen’s family was very rich (they have a large house called Avon), but that couldn’t save them from being killed in the war (this is really dark story).  So Colleen is by herself in a remote house.  However, she must travel to the city every day to work (she has very little left).

One of the Derechet is nice to Colleen but the main boss Corvo is really nasty.

This was a pretty enjoyable story, but I had a few complaints about it.  The first one I’ll start with right away. (more…)

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Laura Van Den Berg–“Aftermath” [The 2017 Short Story Advent Calendar #9] (2017)

Posted in Attics, Boats, Canadian Content, Christmas Album, Death, Fears, Huh?, John Denver, Laura Van Den Berg, Muppets, Short Story, Sleep, Suicide, The Short Story Advent Calendar on December 9, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: JOHN DENVER & THE MUPPETS-A Christmas Together (1979).

This is a strange recording.  Perhaps even more so nearly forty years past its release date when The Muppets are still beloved but aren’t hugely popular.  It’s strange because it’s quite an earnest record, and yet it is sung by puppets with weird voices.

So this album is not meant to be funny (with some exceptions), and yet it’s hard not to smile somewhat at the crazy voices involved.  But the songs aren’t played for laughs.

So if you can get past the fact that Rowlf the Dog is singing an earnest song, it’s quite enjoyable.  In fact, the whole disc is warm and inviting, nonjudgmental and really sweet–pretty much everything that John Denver and The Muppets are known for.

The album features of traditional Christmas carols and original songs.

“The Twelve Days of Christmas” (Denver with the Muppets).  This is kind of an unfortunate song to start with if only because it feels much longer than its 4 minutes (as this song always does).  Having a different Muppet sing each line helps though.  And there are some amusing moments (Beaker of course).  But it’s not really played for laughs, exactly.  Except maybe for Piggy’s “five golden ring” line, kind of.

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” (Rowlf the Dog and Denver).  Rowlf was always an earnest singer so this pairing makes sense.  But Rowlf’s voice is pretty weird.  “The Peace Carol” (John and Scooter with the Muppets). I don’t know this song, but it’s quite pretty and they have wisely picked the least strange-voiced Muppets to sing it with him.

“Christmas Is Coming” (Miss Piggy with Scooter, The Great Gonzo and Robin the Frog) This is a round with Piggy on lead and then each one repeating the one line.  I was unfamiliar with this song too.

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat / Please put a penny in the old man’s hat / If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do / If you haven’t got a ha’penny, then God bless you!

“A Baby Just Like You” (Denver with the Muppets) This is a very John Denver song, pretty and mellow.  “Deck the Halls” (The Muppets)  It’s nice to hear Kermit get a lead vocal.  Everyone sings this in turn and it’s quite nice.  “When the River Meets the Sea” (Robin and Denver with the Muppets)  It’s weird to have a Muppet sing this first verse, but it’s a gentle voice and works nicely with Denver.

“Little Saint Nick” (Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem)  Okay, so hearing the Electric Mayhem is always fun.  I’m amused hearing all of the voices of the band (this is a song you can be silly with).  And of course having Animal shouting “Run! Run! Reindeer!” is pretty darn funny.

“Noel: Christmas Eve, 1913” (Denver) gentle and pretty.  “The Christmas Wish” (Kermit the Frog with the Muppets)  This is a very sweet song wishing love to all whether you believe or not.  Medley: “Alfie, the Christmas Tree” / “Carol for a Christmas Tree” / “It’s in Every One of Us” (Denver with the Muppets)  This is a strange story about a tree who loved Christmas.  And it’s narrated not sung.  This one is skippable.

“Silent Night, Holy Night (Stille Nacht)” (Denver with the Muppets) I was surprised that this was sung in German first.  Then Denver recites how the song was written, and it’s quite moving.   A very lovely rendition.  “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” (Denver with the Muppets) The disc ends with a bit of fun with the cast singing.  And there’s some good Muppets antics: they sing “figgy pudding”  Miss Piggy asks, “piggy pudding?”  “no, it’s made with figs.”  “oh”  “and bacon.”  And when they sing “we won;t go until we get some” Animal chants “won’t go! won’t go!”

All in all this is a delightful Christmas album.

[READ: December 1, 2017] “Aftermath”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection

There’s a lot unspoken in this story, which is revealed in little snippets.

Genevieve moved back into the house on Monday.  But she decided that it needed a good cleaning first.  She called a company named Aftermath to go through the whole house–scour it and make it shine.  They asked if there was any kind of biohazard in the house and she said no.

When she returned, everything looked the same, although a little brighter. (more…)

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Olja Savičević–Adios, Cowboy (2016)

Posted in Adoption, Celia Hawkesworth, Chickens, Christmas Album, Christmas on Mars, Death, Depression, Drinking, Drugs, Film & TV, Foreign Books, Huh?, McSweeney's, Sex, The Flaming Lips, Translation, Violence, Yuck! on December 7, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: THE FLAMING LIPS-Christmas on Mars (2008).

Title aside, and despite the Lips’ love of Christmas, there is nothing Christmassey about this recording.

It’s a soundtrack to their film and it is composed of 12 instrumental pieces.  The disc (which is short) sounds like interstitial Flaming Lips pieces–songs that might appear at the end of or in between songs.

The tracks run the gamut from spooky outerspacey dirges to pretty choral numbers.  But the overall tone of the soundtrack is dark and foreboding (the movie isn’t very happy after all).

Some of the tracks (3 and 4 in particular) are prettier than other–with pretty harps and tubular bells.  But do not put this in your Christmas music rotation unless you really dislike Christmas music.

[READ: June 21, 2017] Adios, Cowboy

Hot on the heels of the depressing Sorry to Disrupt the Peace come this depressing story by Olja Savičević Ivančević (her full name according to Goodreads) translated from Croatian by Celia Hawkesworth.  In Peace, the narrator’s brother killed himself and the narrator wants to find out why.  In Adios, Cowboy, the narrator’s brother kills himself and she want to find out why.

The difference is that this book is set in Croatia, has multiple characters, multiple stories and a huge amount of confusion.

Dada (the narrator) lives in Zagreb, but she is called home to Old Settlement by her sister to help with their aging mother.  She is intrigued at the thought of going home  again after so many years.  But when she gets there, her mother has been taking all kinds of pills, her sister has pretty much given up as evidenced by her chain-smoking, their long-dead father’s shoes still lined up on the steps, and their dead younger brother’s cowboy posters of are still on the walls.  (The dead brother’s name is Daniel.  The fact that one of the characters in the previous book also about the suicide was also named Daniel really didn’t help this much). (more…)

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Patty Yumi Cottrell–Sorry to Disrupt the Peace (2016)

Posted in Adoption, Christmas Album, Death, Dentists, Depression, Drinking, Drugs, Huh?, Humiliation, Imagene Peise, McSweeney's, Patty Yumi Cottrell, Racism, Sex, Short Books, Steven Drozd, Suicide, The Flaming Lips, Travel, Violence, Wayne Coyne, Yuck! on December 6, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: IMAGENE PEISE-Atlas Eets Christmas (2014).

This is a terrific lost album created by Iraqi jazz piano prodigy Image Peise.  The record states that “most of what is known [about Peise] is shrouded in clouds of legend and smoke of myth.”  She is “rumored to have committed suicide in 1978.”

She is playing mostly traditional Christmas songs, with a couple of originals added on to the mix.  She is accompanied by:

Imagene Peise – Piano
Ominog Bangh – Laughing/Crying Glider Synthesizer
Shineyu Bhupal – Drones, Sitar, and Baritone Tambura

The album has a consistent feel throughout.  Lots of jazzy piano and then some interesting Middle Eastern and/or psychedelic sounds that are sprinkled on top (primarily from the sitar and the glider synth).  Whether she is messing with the beauty or just manipulating it is up to the listener.

“Winter Wonderland” opens with a crackling record sound and some interesting Middle Eastern instruments and drones.  And then the lovely traditional jazzy piano version of the classic.  The trippy synth thing comes back up from time to time.

“Silver Bells” opens with a middle eastern synth that sounds nothing like the song.  But once again when the piano comes in it’s really lovely and traditional with hints of psychedelia.

“Christmas Laughing Waltz (Jingle Bells)” has some laughing-like sounds from the voice/synth thing.  Midway through the song, which has been mostly trippy, it resolves itself into “Jingle Bells” on piano with some cool sounds added.

“Silent Night” opens in a not at all peaceful way with some crazy sounds.  It’s a little disconcerting if you know what song it is supposed to be.  But the piano eventually finds the melody and plays it straight and nice.

The first original peace is the delightful if mournful, “Atlas Eets Christmas.”  It’s a series of washes and piano chords until finally a solitary piano melody plays  its mournful melody.  There’ s vocal line where you hear the pronunciation “At last it’s Christmas.”  The voice is pretty far in the background making it kind of hard to hear.  It fits in with the record but stands out because of the voice.  But the sentiment is quite nice.

“Do You Hear What I Hear” is the first really dissonant sounds on the disc.  They come in the form of echoed piano chords.  It feels sinister and kind of kills the mood of the song. The vocal melody is played on that glider thing with dissonant piano behind it.  It feels kind of wobbly and unsettled.

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” returns to the more traditional style and once again, it’s very pretty.

“White Christmas” has a real feel of longing to it.  After a bout 2 minute it kind of builds with drums and upright bass but it never really gets into a more traditional feel.  It sort of hints at the song until the very end where the melody is more pronounced.

“Frosteeeee”is of course, “Frosty the Snowman.”  It opens with melody played on the piano.  But then it switches off melody lines with that voice/synth thing.  It’s sort of a duet between the two instruments.

“Christmas Kindness Song” is the other original.  It sounds like the other in spirit but this one has highly processed vocals.  Presumably they are by Steven Drodz, but I’m not sure if he sis supposed to sound like an Iraqi woman (how far is the ‘joke’ gong?), but he clearly doesn’t.

“The Christmas Song” returns to the jazzy traditional song with some sprinkling so psychedelia on top.

Depending on your tolerance for oddity, this is either a great, fun addition to a Christmas collection (it will make people prick up their ears to hear whats going on), or it’s just too disruptive to the holiday spirit.

And yes, in the “Christmas Kindness Song” I mentioned Stephen Drodz because this is an album by The Flaming Lips.  I gather that the music was created by Steven Drodz and the mythology of Imagene was created by Wayne Coyne.

Oh and the disc ends with some 30 minutes of what sounds like an album clicking at the end of locked groove.

[READ: June 21, 2017] Sorry to Disrupt the Peace

This is one of a new(ish) batch of McSweeney’s books.  I was intrigued by the title and the cover  and some snippets of reviews sounded promising.

There were things I liked about he story but overall I was mixed on it.

The story is about Helen Moran.  She is a 32-year-old Korean woman.  She was adopted by white parents when she was a baby. As was her adoptive brother (who is also Korean but is not related to her).  Throughout the story she refers to her parents as “my adoptive parents” and her brother as “my adoptive brother” easily 100 times each.  I realize that that is a true statement and description, and it is important to her to keep this distinction, but it makes for irritating reading.  It makes your main character seem really ungrateful.

And maybe that’s it.  Helen is a pretty unlikable character.  She works with at risk youth but does some pretty risky things with them.  She’s even currently under investigation at her work for doing suspicious things.  She says she is called Sister Reliability but its unclear to me if they are doing it to mock her, if they are not doing it at all or if they are actually doing it because she is reliable (which I doubt).  She has also written a pamphlet called How to Survive in New York City on Little to Nothing which she handed out to people.  She wears garbage and discarded clothes and eats whatever–and that’s her advice to the poor.

But that’s not what the story is about.  The story is about what happens after she hears from her uncle that her adoptive brother is dead.  For reasons we never find out her adoptive parents do not make the call, it is done by her uncle.  Weird. (more…)

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