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Archive for the ‘Guns’ Category

Peter Swanson–All the Beautiful Lies (2018) [audiobook 2018]

Posted in Drinking, Feminism, Guns, Maine, Marriage Trouble, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Peter Swanson, Sarah Mollo-Christensen, Sex, Sexism, Unlikable main character, Violence, Yuck! on June 19, 2023| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: June 2023] All the Beautiful Lies

I loved Swanson’s Eight Perfect Murders.  I hated the characters in The Kind Worth Killing (but I loved the twists).  So I had this third book as a kind of final litmus test for if I would listen to anymore books by him.

And the answer is no.

Once again, Swanson’s twist and surprises (and the ending) are really good.  But if possible, he made main characters who are even more horrible and unlikable.  How was that possible?

There’s a few spoilers in this review, although none that reveal the twists or who the murderer(s) is/are.

I’m just going to get this over with, so yes, there’s a spoiler here.  One of the main characters is a pedophile.

It’s bad enough when, at some point in the middle of the book, we learn that he is happily going to essentially make a new life with the daughter of his second wife (step-daughter, so not incest, but Jesus Fucking Christ).  And then we find out that this guy was introduced to sex when he was a teenager by a bored housewife.  So he is basically “paying it forward.”

How did Swanson even write these words?   How did his moral compass allow these words to pass his fingers onto the page?

I mean, the blurb on Goodreads starts with this:

Harry Ackerson has always considered his stepmother Alice to be sexy and beautiful, in an “otherworldly” way. She has always been kind and attentive, if a little aloof in the last few years.

I mean, who reads that blurb and wants to read more (I go into my books totally blind, so I had no idea this was coming). (more…)

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Peter Swanson–The Kind Worth Killing (2015) [audiobook 2012]

Posted in Airplanes, Drinking, Feminism, Guns, Johnny Heller, Karen White, Kathleen Early, Keith Szarabajka, Maine, Marriage Trouble, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Peter Swanson, Sex, Sexism, Unlikable main character, Violence on June 16, 2023| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: June 2023] The Kind Worth Killing

I had enjoyed Peter Swanson’s Eight Perfect Murders so much that I wanted to get more audio books by him.  I had heard that he was creating a sequel to one of his popular books, but I didn’t know which one.  It turns out it was this one.

So this seemed like a good one to start with.

As it opened, I absolutely hated it.  It may have been Johnny Heller’s voice, which I did not like.  Although it also sounded familiar and I wondered if I knew him from reading a children’s book and I didn’t like him in an adult role.

Why did I hate it?  Because within the first few minutes, his character, Ted Severson says something to the effect of, “My wife cheated on me.  So I have to kill her.”  I mean, who the hell thinks like that?  And who bases an entire book on that?  That is psychopathic.

Interestingly, I have read many complaints about Swanson’s bland characters, and while I’m not sure they are bland, exactly, they are certainly deadpan or flat or disinterested.  At least that’s how the narrators read them.

So when Karen White took over as narrator for Lily Kintner’s parts, I enjoyed the book more.  Lily was a flat character, but I found her dispassionate voice to be kind of interesting.  (more…)

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A.A. Milne–The Red House Mystery (1922)

Posted in A.A. Milne, Eight Perfect Murders, Guns, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Sherlock Holmes on June 6, 2023| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: June 6, 2023] The Red House Mystery

In Peter Swanson’s mystery Eight Perfect Murders, his narrator makes a list of eight perfects murders in fiction–not the best books, just the perfect setup for murder.  These books are:

Agatha Christie’s A. B. C. Murders, Patricia Highsmith’s Strangers on a Train, Ira Levin’s Death Trap, A. A. Milne’s Red House Mystery, Anthony Berkeley Cox’s Malice Aforethought, James M. Cain’s Double Indemnity, John D. Macdonald’s The Drowner, and Donna Tartt’s A Secret History.

And yes, A.A. Milne, the writer of Winnie the Pooh, is one of those authors.  Swanson’s narrator kind of dismisses the story saying that it’s a quaint mystery and that the murder is perfect (meaning the killer would never get caught), but almost with an asterisk.

What’s all that about?

Well, the story is set in an English country manor, the Red House.  The kind of place where other rich folk would come to stay for a few weeks, drinking, playing gold and generally enjoying themselves as rich English folk apparently did at the turn of the century.  The owner of the house is Mark Ablett.  He is a single man.  However, he informally adopted his younger cousin as an opportunity to pay forward a good deed that was done to him when he was a young lad with limited propsects.   The boy (who is now in his late 20s) is named Cayley and is (now that he has been formally educated) more or less Mark’s right-hand man.  Mark doesn’t seem to do anything without consulting Cayley.

Mark is generally liked (he is no snob), but he can go on a bit.  As the book opens, Mark is hosting some people: Major Rumbold, a retired soldier; Bill Beverley, a youngish man about town.  There was also Ruth Norris, an actress “who took herself seriously as an actress and, on her holidays, seriously as a golfer.”  Finally there was Betty Calladine (18 and eligible) and her widowed mother (keen to get her settled).  (more…)

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Brian Level, Ryan Ferrier, Kate Sherron, Crank!–Silk Hills (2022)

Posted in Brian Level, Crank!, Death, Deer, Drugs, Graphic Novel, Guns, Huh?, Humiliation, Kate Sherron, Moths, Oni Press, Ryan Ferrier, The X Files, Violence, Yuck! on May 29, 2023| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus.

[READ: May 9, 2023] Silk Hills

I haven’t been reading that many graphic novels lately.  My daughter made the excellent point that our local library has an excellent graphic novel collection but that it hasn’t been updated in quite a while.  So I was pleased t o see this book at work, especially since it was from Oni Press, a reliably weird publisher.

I don’t know any of the contributors: authors Brian Level (has written for Star Wars and Marvel) and Ryan Ferrier (has written lots of indie books and written for Marvel and DC).  Crank! is Christopher Crank who has done lettering for just about everyone.  Kate Sherron has a very distinctive visual style (which I see a lot of people don’t like).  I thought it was pretty cool and unusual–it reminded me a bit of Jeff Lemire’s style.

I have been listening to a book of short stories from The X-Files, and this book immediately made me think of the X-Files.  It’s also the kind of story that either should have been longer or should have had fewer hallucinatory passages and had more explanatory pages.

Beth Wills is a former Marine turned private investigator.  She lives in New York City but is sent to an unnamed rural community called Silk Hills.  It must be pretty far, as a gas station attendant remarks on her New York plates, but we don’t know exactly where Silk Hills is.

I enjoyed the interactions with Wills and the gas station attendant also a former military man (out six years). (more…)

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Lucy Ellmann–Things are Against Us (2021)

Posted in Absolutely Fabulous, Agatha Christie, Alfred Hitchcock, E.L. Doctorow, Essays, Femicide, Feminism, Greta Thunberg, Guns, Jane Austen, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Lucy Ellmann, Mary Ellmann, Murder, Pizza, Raymond Chandler, Sex, Sexism, Sherlock Holmes, Violence, Virginia Woolf on March 15, 2023| Leave a Comment »

[READ: March 10, 2021] Things Are Against Us

I loved Ellmann’s book Ducks, Newburyport so much that I had intended to read all of her books.

So I’ve gone back and read some of her previous novels.  Which I found to be…okay.  They were mildly amusing with some very personal diatribes thrown in to put some passion into these otherwise comic novels.

Then I saw that she had a recent collection of essays, which I thought might be really interesting.

I agree about 95% with everything Ellmann says in this book.  And yet I hated this book more than almost anything I’ve read recently.  And I think I’m not going to bother reading the other novels that I haven’t read yet, since the other two weren’t that great anyhow.

Ellmann’s style in these essays is so unpleasant, so superior and self-righteous, so… (and I hate to use this word because of the anti-feminist implications of it but it is definitionally accurate) strident, that I almost didn’t finish most of the essays (I forced my way through to the end of all of them).  Strident, btw: “presenting a point of view, especially a controversial one, in an excessively and unpleasantly forceful way.  I mean, that is this book to a T.”

In the past, strident women have been very important to many movements.  But hen your arguments are so scattershot, it’s hard for your stridency to be a positive force.

“Things Are Against Us”
In this essay Ellmann all caps the word THINGS every time she writes it.  On the first page (which is half a page not including the title), THINGS appears over 30 times.  The tone is kind of amusing–about how things get in our way and cause us trouble: Things slip out of your hand; things trip you, things break.  Then each following paragraph gets more specific.  Clothes tear, socks don’t stay up.  Matches won’t light, water bottles spill. Then she gets into the body.  In her novel Doctors & Nurses she lists 12 pages of bodily ailments.  So there’s not much new here.  And there’s no real point.  It doesn’t end with any grand idea.  It just stops. (more…)

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Dave Housley–The Other Ones (2022)

Posted in Corporate skewering, Dave Housley, Funny (ha ha), Futility, Gambling, Guns, Lottery, Suicide on March 6, 2023| Leave a Comment »

[READ: December 2022] The Other Ones

The premise of this book sounded really interesting and potentially very funny. A story about the people who did NOT participate when the office pool won the lottery.

It sounds funny but as you think of it, you realize just how sad of a story it’s going to be.

The other ones are Yoder, Lawson, Chastain, Craver, Roberson, Russell and Gibbons.  On the first page, these names are listed like a cast of characters–each in a different font that I suppose characterizes each person.

Each subsequent chapter is about that person (in third person).

The book opens with Yoder jumping off of the roof of their building.  He can’t believe al of those horrible people–the people he has zero respect for–could have won millions of dollars. But when his next chapter comes up, we discover  that Yoder is a ghost and he is kind of the overarching narrator of the story because he comments on all of the winners (in his highly disgusted manner): Mowery (Toby Keith shirt, MAGA hat), Cowens (who goes on a Kiss Kruise), Pappas (expensive virtual reality system), Czuba, Fitzgerald and Garner (Garner is the worst because not only doesn’t he splurge, he intends to keep going to work).

Yoder wakes first in that asshole Cowen’s house.  The next day he wakes up in Pappas’ house and tries to plunge a knife into his own heart–it does nothing.  Then it’s that asshole Mowery.  When he wakes up in Mancus’ house he hears the guy playing a terrible song “chew tobacco chew tobacco chew tobacco Spit!” (I had no idea it was a real song).

Next is Lawson.  Lawson has no idea that they won when he pulls into the parking lot.  he decides to go to a writing workshop–to pursue a life he’s actually interested in.

Chastain (her last name) isn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.  She owes almost $30,000 in student loans.  (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–The Truth (2000) [Discworld #25] [Ankh-Morpork story, not about the Watch]

Posted in Altogether Andrews, Anachronisms, Angua von Überwald, Arnold Sideways, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cheery Littlebottom, Coffin Henry, Death, Detritus, Discworld, Dogs, Dorfl, Dwarfs, Foul Ol' Ron, Fred Colon, Funny (ha ha), Golems, Guns, Lady Sybil Ramkin, Lord Vetinari, Magic, Newspapers, Nobby Nobbs, Sacharissa Cripslock, Samuel Vimes, Terry Pratchett, The Duck Man, The Librarian, The Watch, Vampires, Violence, Werewolves, William de Worde, Wizards on June 5, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: April 2022] The Truth

This story is set in Ankh-Morpork but it’s not about the Watch.  Or Lord Vetenari.  Well, it sort of is about both of them, but not really.

This story is about The Truth.  And also about a new character called William de Worde.  William is a black sheep of a famous and wealthy Ankh-Morpork family.  He has always been interested in writing and in finding the truth.

His job was to write an occasional message to various important figures around the Disc with information about what’s going on in Ankh-Morpork.  He quickly learned that he could write his message, have the Engraver’s guild print multiple copies and just change a few things for each one.  This made him a lot more money.

Then there was big news in Ankh-Morpork–the arrival of movable type from the dwarfs, particularly Gunilla Goodmountain.

William, through a series of events, inadvertently becomes the spokesperson for the movable type (even though he had nothing to do with it) and starts a newspaper. The paper is supposed to be named Ankh-Morpork Items but they get the type wrong and it became The Ankh-Morpork Times.

He is assisted by the dwarfs and Sacharissa Cripslock–a fiery reporter who proves very useful. (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Jingo (1997) [Discworld #21] [Watch #4]

Posted in Anachronisms, Angua von Überwald, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cheery Littlebottom, Death, Detritus, Discworld, Dorfl, Dwarfs, Fred Colon, Funny (ha ha), Golems, Guns, Lady Sybil Ramkin, Leonard of Quirm, Lord Vetinari, Magic, Nobby Nobbs, Racism, Samuel Vimes, Terry Pratchett, The Librarian, The Watch, Vampires, Violence, Werewolves on June 1, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: March 2022] Jingo

With a title like Jingo, you know that Terry Pratchett isn’t holding back.  And indeed, this is a story about two countries fighting each other over disputed territory–and the unenlightened attitudes that people have about “foreigners.”

What is great about Pratchett is how much he is able to get his point across without being preachy.  Some of the unenlightened characters say offensive things, but they are quickly discoruaged from such attitudes–not with bludgeoning and hysteria, but with rational comments.  It’s very well done.

But what causes this trouble?  Well, out of nowhere, an island has surfaced.  The island of Leshp was submerged forever, and suddenly, it floated to the surface amid two fishermen.  Solid Jackson of Ankh-Morpork (and his long-suffering son) and Greasy Arif from Al-Khali, the Klatchian capital.  They often fought over their prey (the Curious Squid), because they sailed the same waters that were between the two countries.

While this is going on, diplomatic business is occurring in Ankh-Morpork.  The prince of Klatch, Khufurah, is in Ankh-Morpork to receive an honorary degree (Doctorum Adamus cum Flabello Dulci) in Sweet Fanny Adams.

Hostilities between A-M and Klatch are high.

Several leaders of the city are there to complain to Lord Vetenari about Klatch.  Watch Captain Sam Vimes is there to add a level head and sarcasm.  When someone complains that Klatch wouldn’t accept ten boatloads of cabbages, Vimes says out loud to himself “everyone knows caterpillars add to the flavor” and later “Meat is at its best when it’s going green.”

And of course, the Patrician knows his way around diplomacy: “it is no longer considered…nice…to send a warship … to show Johnny Foreigner the error of his ways.”

Later, the Prince meets with Vimes and asks him about the word he’s heard shouted at him: “towelhead.” (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Feet of Clay (1996) [Discworld #19] [Watch #3]

Posted in Anachronisms, Angua von Überwald, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cheery Littlebottom, Death, Detritus, Discworld, Dorfl, Dwarfs, Fred Colon, Funny (ha ha), Golems, Guns, Lady Sybil Ramkin, Lord Vetinari, Magic, Nobby Nobbs, Samuel Vimes, Terry Pratchett, The Librarian, The Watch, Vampires, Violence, Werewolves, Wizards on January 31, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: January 2022] Feet of Clay

The Watch is back.  This story doesn’t exactly introduce Golems to the city of Ankh-Morpork.  They’ve always been there.  But this is the first time they have become a big deal.

Also a big deal? Sam Vimes.  Now that Vimes has become a Lord, it’s about time he gets a crest.  So he goes to the local keeper of the Register of Proper People: Dragon King of Arms, to see about his old family crest.

Except, as Dragon King of Arms is quick to point out, his ancestor was a regicide and they tend to frown on that sort of thing.  So it turns out that one of Vimes ancestor’s

But while Vimes is denied a crest, he is informed that his co-worker, Nobby Nobbs is actually from a learned and proper family (but Nobby is barely human!), still, there is fanciness in his blood.  He is descended from the Earl of Ankh.

Nobby is not too happy about being upper crust and spends much of the book bemoaning that he can be upper class and have no money.  When Society calls on him to come visit, he is woefully out of place and the whole dinner party is a hilarious feast for the reader. (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Men at Arms (1992) [Discworld #15] [Watch #2]

Posted in Anachronisms, Angua von Überwald, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cuddy, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, Death, Detritus, Discworld, Dwarfs, Fred Colon, Funny (ha ha), Guns, Lady Sybil Ramkin, Lord Vetinari, Magic, Nobby Nobbs, Samuel Vimes, Terry Pratchett, The Librarian, The Watch, Vampires, Violence, Werewolves, Wizards on October 20, 2021| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: Fall 2021] Men at Arms

The Watch is back and it’s getting bigger.

And they are going to have to deal with another person who is trying to oust Patrician Vetinari.  This time the person in question is Edward D’eath a high ranking member of the Assassins Guild. D’eath has been doing genealogical research and he believes that Corporal Carrot might be the rightful heir to the throne of Ankh-Morpork–the throne which even Lord Vetinari won’t sit on (but won’t remove either).

Meanwhile, Captain Sam Vimes is about to be married to Lady Sybil Ramkin (I can’t believe that the Vimes /Lady Sybil relationship was settled after just one book!)

Sam is delighted with Sybil, but he hates just about everything else about the upcoming marriage.  He hates that Sybil is one of the richest women in Ankh-Morpork.  He hates hobnobbing with the other rich people in the city (Sybil is really very different from everyone else, which is why he loves her). He is even rather uncomfortable with just how rich Sybil is.  There’s a very spot-on argument about how rich people even save money when they buy expensive things.  For instance, the average cop can’t afford to buy expensive shoes that last.  So instead he has to buy cheap shoed that wear out quickly.  Then he has to buy another pair.  And then another pair.  Three $20 pairs that don’t last as long as one $50 pair.

The worst thing for Sam is that he really doesn’t want to give up being a cop.  Well, maybe he kind of does, but it’s all he knows.  And he knows that he’ll miss it.  Even if things are changing around him. (more…)

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