SOUNDTRACK: hiatus
[READ: Fall 2021] Men at Arms
The Watch is back and it’s getting bigger.
And they are going to have to deal with another person who is trying to oust Patrician Vetinari. This time the person in question is Edward D’eath a high ranking member of the Assassins Guild. D’eath has been doing genealogical research and he believes that Corporal Carrot might be the rightful heir to the throne of Ankh-Morpork–the throne which even Lord Vetinari won’t sit on (but won’t remove either).
Meanwhile, Captain Sam Vimes is about to be married to Lady Sybil Ramkin (I can’t believe that the Vimes /Lady Sybil relationship was settled after just one book!)
Sam is delighted with Sybil, but he hates just about everything else about the upcoming marriage. He hates that Sybil is one of the richest women in Ankh-Morpork. He hates hobnobbing with the other rich people in the city (Sybil is really very different from everyone else, which is why he loves her). He is even rather uncomfortable with just how rich Sybil is. There’s a very spot-on argument about how rich people even save money when they buy expensive things. For instance, the average cop can’t afford to buy expensive shoes that last. So instead he has to buy cheap shoed that wear out quickly. Then he has to buy another pair. And then another pair. Three $20 pairs that don’t last as long as one $50 pair.
The worst thing for Sam is that he really doesn’t want to give up being a cop. Well, maybe he kind of does, but it’s all he knows. And he knows that he’ll miss it. Even if things are changing around him.
For instance, they have to hire three new recruits: Cuddy (a dwarf), Detritus (a troll), and Angua (a woman). What on earth are the old guard going to do with these non-humans? And, honestly, dwarves and trolls don’t get along at all. Indeed, they hate each other and don’t need any excuse to fight. Plus, and this is not speciesist, it’s true, trolls are really dumb. (Okay, not dumb, exactly, just really really slow on the uptake–we learn later that when their brains warm up, they slow down, but at near freezing temperatures, they are actually borderline genius).
And then there’s Angua who is strangely friendly with Gaspode the Wonder Dog (he’s back!). They seem to have an awful lot to talk about and seem to have a lot in common, too.
Carrot is very attracted to Angua, but he doesn’t know the first thing about flirting or dating or talking to women. And at first Angua is turned off by his super straight-laced, rather boring persona. But after being with him for a short while she realizes how much charisma he actually has. People want to do things to make him happy. He is honest to a fault and no one wants to disappoint him. He’s like the world’s sweetest puppy.
This book also features a murder and some straightforward anti-gun talk from Pratchett.
The Disc’s greatest inventor (and craziest famous person) Leonardo de Quirm invented a gonne. Well, actually he drew up the plans for it in the margins of one his more savory plans. Turns out that Leonardo could create all kinds of wonderful things. But his mind would wander into violent detours. The Patrician currently has Leonardo locked up in prison in the Palace, but he makes sure that he is very happy. Leonardo is in his own world and he’s pretty happy as it all goes. He designed a lot of terrible devices, but only as thought experiments. He never imagined that anyone would ever try to build these things. But of course, somebody did.
The gonne was stored in the Assassins’ Guild vault. Even the Assassins knew the gonne was really dangerous–Assassins only believe in killing people up close–a gonne goes against the Assassin’s principles.
Edward D’Eath knew about the gonne and made off with it. In the process he killed Beano, a clown in the Fool’s Guild. The Fool’s Guild’s building abuts the Assassin’s Guild. And D’Eath used the Fool’s Guild as his entrance and exit. There’s a thoughtful discussion about how a clown is his identity and no one else can wear them.
Vimes is about the leave the force, but he is damned if he is going to let this murder go before he leaves. Murder is very rare on the disc. There is Assassination of course, but that’s part of the Guild contracts and is different.
But once Vimes starts asking questions at the Assassin’s Guild, Lord Vetinari is very clear–Vimes is, under no circumstances, to investigate this crime. He is especially not to investigate the Assassin’s Guild or the Fools Guild. And if he does investigate the case any further he is going to be kicked out of the watch (even before he is to retire). Which enrages Vimes enough to make him want to investigate even further.
With Vimes taking care of wedding things Carrot become the de facto leader of the Watch and he winds up bringing the new recruits (who frankly work much harder than Nobby and Fred Colon on his fact-finding jaunts. And they find a lot of details
Pratchett has written Carrot as such a great character because although he cannot lie, he is able to speak to people in such a way that is truthful but in which they might believe he is saying something else. Like when Carrot is told that if the suspects resist, he is to leave. So, he simply tells the suspects, that if they resists, he’s going to have to do something he really doesn’t want to do.
About midway through the book, we learn another truth about Angua–something that could upset the balance of everything, frankly. And we learn that the gonne seems to make whoever is holding it do something that they may not want to do. It tends to possess their minds. Indeed, a lot of our heroes are shot–mostly minor wounds, but a beloved character is killed. Good thing Death is always there to make sure their afterlife is off to a start.
werewolf—but Carrot is unaware of this, and believes she is included because she is female).
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