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Archive for the ‘Funny (ha ha)’ Category

Scott Thompson–The Hollow Planet (2011) (illustrated by Kyle Morton)

Posted in Adventure, Canadian Content, Demons, Fantasy, Funny (ha ha), Funny (strange), Graphic Novel, Hollow Earth, Humiliation, Kyle Morton, LGBTQ, Marriage Trouble, Scott Thompson, Sex, Superchunk, Supernatural, The Grid, The Kids in the Hall, The Sound of Young America, Threats, Violence on August 8, 2011| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: SUPERCHUNK-Superchunk (1990).

Some time ago, I reviewed all of the Superchunk EPs.  After progresing to their most current music, returning to their first album is a bit of a shock.  Superchunk’s first full length album is incredibly raw, with lots of screaming (two vocalists at once, even) and a very grungy attitude.  It has a DIY aestethic, in keeping with the undeground scene at the time.

The first four songs fly past in a pretty quick blur of adrenaline (the longest is just over 3 minutes).  The fifth song, the aptly named “Slow” slows things down and strecthes things out with a five minute track of slow distorted chords and a long solo.

Of course, the pinnacle comes with the next song “Slack Motherfucker” one of the best grunge anthems of all time. 

The last four tracks speed things up again with the bratty attitude that Superchunk is so good at (see especially “Down the Hall”).  But it’s not all just blistering speed.  The band has some dynamics down and there are a couple of tempo changes as well.

The album is a lot of fun to listen to, especially if you’re lookig for grunge before it became Grunge.  Although there’s very little indication that they would become the indie superstars that they eventually became you can clearly hear proto-Superchunk chunks–Mac’s voice is as it ever was and the noise is present but not overpowering.  There are even hints of melody (although nothing as catchy as later albums).  And yet for all that it sounds like a criticism, the album is really quite solid.

[READ: June 15, 2011] The Hollow Planet

Yes, THAT Scott Thompson, from The Kids in the Hall.  I found out about this comic book from my good friend Jessee Thorne at The Grid.

The backstory is that Scott Thompson had been working on this story for years and years.  He imagined it as a movie (starring him, of course).  When that didn’t pan out, he decided to sell it is a comic book.  And while he was recovering from cancer, he worked on it extensively with Kyle Morton–character likenesses and whatnot.  And now we have a cartoon rendering of Scott Thompson!

This story focuses on Scott’s character Danny Husk…

The book opens with Danny and his wife and kids at a carnival.  After a few moments, Danny’s son gets lost on the merry-go-round.  In the next scene we see just how much his wife is estranged from him (she may even be cheating on him), and how little his daughter thinks of him.  Soon after, Danny goes to work, inserts a disc into his laptop and more or less brings down his company.

So far nothing out of the oridnary for this type of  story–henpecked husband on a quest for revenge that he doesn’t know he wants yet.

Then Danny visits with his old friend Steve.  They talk, they bond over Danny’s concern about his wife.  And Danny feels better.  Until he gets home.  After a scene which I won’t spoil, the story suddenly takes off with a high speed car chase (no kidding) and with Danny entering the titular hollowness of the planet. (more…)

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Jennifer L. Holm & Matthew Holm–Babymouse: Dragonslayer [#11] (2006)

Posted in Barenaked Ladies, Cats, Children's Books, Cupcakes, Dragons, Funny (ha ha), Graphic Novel, Jennifer L. Holm, Matthew Holm, Mice, Short Books on August 7, 2011| 2 Comments »

SOUNDTRACK: BARENAKED LADIES-Live at the NJ Festival of Ballooning, July 30, 2011 (2011).

I ‘ve loved BNL since their first album.  I’ve even seen them live a few times.  And “One Week” was a huge hit, not to mention they did the theme for The Big Bang Theory.  So, imagine my surprise to see that they were playing at the Festival of Ballooning in an airport near my house!

I thought perhaps their star had fallen on hard times.  Ever since Steven Page left, I haven’t been too sure what the band has been up to (their post-Page release is kind of bland).  And maybe they didn’t get very much for their performance (no way of knowing of course).  Nevertheless, the audience was packed with fans and, in what must have been a cool site for the band, hot air balloons filled the field, many of them lighting up their balloons in sync with the music.  It was very cool.

It was great to see that the Ladies were still fun live–one of the best things about their shows is their spontaneity.  They play tight songs and they sound great, bu they also goof around.  Like with this Ballooning Rap

I was also impressed that without Page–their primary lead singer (and one of the best voices in music)–the band was still able to play their old songs that Page sung.  Now lead vocalist Ed Robertson (who does the fast part in “One Week”) manages a remarkable approximation of Page’s voice.  Indeed, a few times, I forgot that he was gone.  Check out “The Old Apartment”, which Page used to sing:

There are some notable differences of course, “If I Had $1,000,000” misses the repartee between Page and Robertson.  But in fairness, drummer Tyler Stewart more than makes up for it (he even does lead vocals on one of the songs).

There were a number of newer songs which I’d never heard (I don’t have the newest album), and they were pretty uniformly mellow.  But they sounded great. And when the band played some of their older tracks (“Falling for the First Time”?!) it was magical. And I’ve had “Brian Wilson” in my head for three days now.

Sarah took a brief video of the balloons lighting up, to “Light Up My Room”.

And here’s mine at the end of “Brain Wilson”, the bass solo! (sorry it’s sideways, I’ll try and fix it).

[READ: March 12, 2011] Babymouse: Dragonslayer

This has been my favorite Babymouse so far.  Perhaps it was because there was more of a “story/plot” than in the other stories–and the other stories were fine without a real plot, but this one was more focused.  Also the fantasies sequences were wonderful referenced to great stories like The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe and The Lord of the Rings.

I honestly couldn’t imagine what the title of dragonslayer would refer to.  I mean, aside from the animals, the story is pretty accurate to a middle school life. I assumed there’d be fantasies, but what could ground a dragon story in middle school? W ell, the big surprise for me is that the “drgaon” in the story is actually math.  Babymouse hates math and has just failed a math test with an F-!  The teacher says that she will overlook the test if she joins the mathletes (okay so maybe it’s not ENTIRELY based in reality). (more…)

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John Banville–“Dining with the Tiger: Dublin’s Restaurant Bubble” (Harper’s, July 2011)

Posted in Basia Bulat, Food, Funky Web Sites, Funny (ha ha), Harper's, John Banville on July 19, 2011| 1 Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: BASIA BULAT-“The Shore” (2010).

I loved Basia Bulat’s “In the Night” which wa s fun, uptempo folk rocker.  “The Shore” is a hauntingly beautiful, wistful ballad.  “In the Night” featured the autoharp as its main instrument, but “The Shore” features the pianoette as its sole instrument (on this recording anyway, I haven’t heard it on the record).

Listenin to the song is great, a wonderful expereicen.  But once you watch her play it, the song is even more powerful.  This video in particular is enchnating–where is this beautiful open room?  How did she learn to play the pianoette?  What is that little hammer she’s using?  Is anyone not blown away the first time she hits a string for multiple notes and the song goes from simple to majestic?

And what do you suppose uwolnijmuzyke means?  I don’t know, but it’s a really cool music site from Poland.

Pretty good, huh?

[READ: July 13, 2011] Dining with the Tiger

I wasn’t going to talk about this “review” either.  But several things stood out for me:  John Banville!  It’s hard to pass on him.  I also seem to be talking a lot about food this week (what with Will Self, Jun’ichirō Tanizaki and Lucky Peach in general).  And because I have to wonder if my friend Lar knows of any of restaurants that Banville mentions (now that he is a landed, married gentleman and not the post-graduate guy who would take an American mate to an “American” diner on Grafton Street–which was lorryloads of fun, make no mistake).

So Banville gives a brief run through of the state of Irish restaurants circa the end of WWII–as in, there were none.  Then came the 1990s and the critical moment in Irish culture–the scandal of Bishop Eamon Casey and his unexpected son. The scandal seemed to rock the country, but mostly it made them let fall the shackles of conformity across the country.  Banville suggests that such a major event could have shaken a Catholic country to the core, but in Ireland, it seems to have just woken everyone up to the possibility of making money. (more…)

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Zsuzsi Gartner–All the Anxious Girls on Earth (1999)

Posted in Advice, All Songs Considered, Books about writers, Boredom, Canadian Content, Culture Shock, Death, Funny (ha ha), Ghosts, Gogol Bordello, Pranks, Short Story, The Pogues, The Walrus, Zsuzsi Gartner on July 14, 2011| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: GOGOL BORDELLO-Trans-Continental Hustle (2010).

When I first heard Gogol Bordello, they were touring for this album (thanks NPR).  Consequently, I knew this album pretty well when I bought it.  At first I felt that it didn’t have the vibrancy of the live show (how could it?).  But after putting it aside for a few weeks, when I re-listened, I found the album (produced by Rick Rubin) to be everything I expect from Gogol Bordello: loud, frenetic fun, a bit of mayhem, and some great tunes that sound like traditional gypsy songs, but which I assume are not.

While I was listening to the album, I kept thinking of The Pogues.  They don’t really sound anything alike but they have that same feel of punk mixed with traditional music.  For The Pogues, it’s Irish trad, and for GB it’s a gypsy sound–I’m not sure if it is attributable to any specific locale.  But they have a common ground in a kind of Spanish-based trad style.  From the Pogues, you get a song like “Fiesta” which is overtly Spanish.  From GB, you get songs like “My Companjera” or “Uma Menina Uma Cigana.”  Singer/ringleader Eugene Hutz has been living in Brazil, and he has really embraced the culture (and the accent).  He also sings in a kind of drunken tenor (his accent is probably more understandable than MacGowan’s drunken warble, but not always).

I’m led to understand that previous albums were a bit more high-throttle from start to finish.  This disc has a couple of ballads.  At first they seem to not work as well, but in truth they help to pace the album somewhat.

It’s obvious this band will not suit everyone’s tastes, but if you’re looking for some high energy punk with some ethnic flare, GB is your band (and if you like skinny guys with no shirts and big mustaches, GB is definitely your band.  It is entirely conceivable that Hutz does not know how to work a button).

[READ: June 20, 2011] All the Anxious Girls on Earth

I’ve really enjoyed Zsuzsi’s stories in recent issues of The Walrus.  So much so that I wanted to get a copy of her new book.  It wasn’t available anywhere in the States yet, so I went back and got her first collection of short stories.

This collection felt to me like a younger, less sophisticated version of Zsuzsi’s later works that I liked so much.  This is not to say that I didn’t like them.  I just wasn’t as blown as w.

“How to Survive in the Bush”
I had to read the opening to this story twice for some reason.  The second read made much more sense and I was able to follow what was going on (I think there were a few terms that I didn’t know–a 1941 Tiger Moth, East Kootenays–that were given context after a few pages.  It transpires that this is a story o a woman who has given up her life to move to the boonies with/for her husband.  The whole story is written in second person which while typically inviting, I found alienating.  It made the story harder to read for me, but once I got into the groove of it I found it very rewarding. (more…)

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Jennifer L. Holm & Matthew Holm–Babymouse: Queen of the World! [#1] (2005)

Posted in All Songs Considered, Cats, Children's Books, Cocteau Twins, Cupcakes, Funny (ha ha), Graphic Novel, Jennifer L. Holm, Matthew Holm, Mice, Short Books, Wye Oak on July 12, 2011| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: WYE OAK: “The Alter” (2009).

NPR has introduced me to Wye Oak (with two concert downloads).  This is the official single from the recent album Civilian.

It is a cool swirly track which avoids being ethereal because of the rocking drums.  It feels a bit like the Cocteau Twins without being otherworldly.  And then there’s Jenn Wasner’s voice which is deep in a kind of Alison Moyet way.  This song features an awesome guitar swirl in the center which is sort of a guitar solo but isn’t.

The song builds over the course of the three minutes with more instruments and more voices layered over and over–there’s no real chorus.  Not bad for a duo.  Soon they’ll be some full concerts reviews of the band.

[READ: June 29, 2011] Babymouse: Queen of the World!

So this is the first Babymouse book: Queen of the World.  This one sets up the series and satisfies so many unanswered questions.  No, not really.

This first book has all of the trappings of the other two books that I read: fantasy sequences drawn in pink (good diversity here–a horror story, a space story, Cinderella), the same cast (including the arch-enemy Felicia Furrypaws), and more humorous interactions between Babymouse and the narrator (and a lot of Babymouse’s slogan: “typical.”) (more…)

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Kevin Fenton–Merit Badges (2011)

Posted in Claire Denis, Constellation Records, Death, Depression, Drinking, Drugs, Fears, Funny (ha ha), Kevin Fenton, Marriage Trouble, Minnesota, Ping-Pong, Set at School, Tindersticks, Violence, White Material on July 8, 2011| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: TINDERSTICKS-Claire Denis Film Scores 1996-2009: White Material [CST077] (2009).

White Material is the most recent soundtrack that the Tindersticks created for Claire Denis.  It was recorded between their “reunion” album The Hungry Saw and their latest album Falling Down a Mountain.

This is a very moody soundtrack.  The guitars set a brisk but desperate-sounding pace.  There are feedback squalls that echo for even more tension.  The feedback could be any number of things as well: squeaky machines, industrial noise, or simply disconcerting sounds.

There is a repeated motif throughout the score that morphs and blends with the tone.  The overall feel of the soundtrack is unified but it never sounds like you’re listening to the same few notes repeated (which is actually what it is, the songs use a very limited palette).

For such a limited palette of music, they really manage to give a diverse picture of the movie.  The way “Andre’s Death” builds, using those same few notes and feedback is truly amazing.  The tension that has been building throughout the score really comes to a head in those 2 minutes.  Contrarily, the flute that plays over those same notes in “Children’s Theme 2” is a haunting exploration of the theme.

This soundtrack isn’t as industrial/weird as L’intrus, but it is probably more intense and spooky.  It’s amazing how evocative these guys are.

[READ: June 22, 2011] Merit Badges

Sarah brought this book home, but she didn’t read it.  It sounded pretty good (I mean it won the 2009 AWP Award for the Novel), so I decided to give it a go.

The book seemed strange to me in the way it was set up: it seemed to have a very specific structure but it didn’t always follow it exactly. So, there are four main protagonists who write chapters of the book.  But they don’t each get a turn, in fact one, Barbara doesn’t really have much to say until much later when her story becomes very compelling.  It also advanced over the years with no real explanation of pacing or even of when a new narrator has jumped ahead several years.

I assumed this was going to be a story of four people looking back on their high school years.  But indeed, it’s about four people looking back on their whole lives, as they grow together, drift apart, come back into each others lives and then disappear again.  In that way, it was also a bit hard to get my bearings.  It was also hard for me to keep all of the characters straight.  Because even though there are four narrators there are many many more kids introduced in the beginning of the story.

Each chapter opens by stating who the narrator is.  The first few narrators are Chimes Sanborn (Prologue), Quint (Woodwork), Slow Slocum (Cooking), Chimes (Drafting), Barb Carimona (Music), Quint (Mammals), Quint (Crime Prevention) etc.  So it’s not consistent.

But also, as you can see, all of the chapter titles are named after Merit badges (which I liked quite a bit).  The subtitle describes what you have to do to achieve the badge (and the chapter does indeed kind of work within that stricture).

So far so good, but we’re also introduced to ancillary characters who appear quite often: Dickie Burpee, Pooch Labrador, Smash Sarnia, and a psychopath named Tulep.  With all of the nicknames and rotating narrators, I admit to losing track of who was who, which I fear lessened the impact of some of the events.

Of course, that’s all structural.  And while I felt like I probably missed out on moments of impact, the overall storyline was not hard to follow.  And, indeed, complaints aside, the story was pretty intriguing.  It is set in the (fictional) small suburb of Minnisapa, Minnesota.  It feels very true to me (having lived in a small town, myself) as do the choices (bad and good) that the kids make. (more…)

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Kathleen Winter–“Madame Poirer’s Dog” (The Walrus, July/August 2011)

Posted in Alexi Zentner, Canadian Content, Constellation Records, Funny (ha ha), Funny (strange), Kathleen Winter, L'intrus, Short Story, The Walrus, Tindersticks on July 6, 2011| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: TINDERSTICKS-Claire Denis Film Scores 1996-2009: L’Intrus [CST077] (2004).

This score comes from Claire Denis’ 2004 film L’Intrus.  The soundtrack was done by Stuart Staples.  In the booklet he talks about how conventional scoring just didn’t seem appropriate for the film, so he chose this rather noise-filled style.

It is a noisy, menacing work (L’Intrus means The Intruder, so that makes sense).  The sounds are clanky and squeaking, creating an ominous atmosphere.

But what’s most interesting about the score is that despite this limited collection of sounds, he creates a musical work out of it that is interesting to listen to on its own.  The track “Horse Dreams” is full of discordant notes and screeches.  While “The Black Mountain” features a solo horn over the noises.  It’s not easy listening, but it is certainly evocative.

This score is also very short about 25 minutes or so).  The movie is 130 minutes.  I wonder what other sounds are in the film?

[READ: June 15 2011] “Madame Poirer’s Dog”

This is the second story in The Walrus’ Summer Reading issue.  As I mentioned, the intro states: “We asked five celebrated writers to devise five guidelines for composing a short story or poem. They all traded lists–and played by the rules.”  Kathleen Winter was given rules by Alexi Zenther (which I posted below).

I didn’t enjoy this story all that much.  More specifically, I enjoyed the story within the story, but the full, proper story was a little too indistinct to me: It felt kind of all over the place.  In some ways this is appropriate as the story is set in an old folks’ home.  The titular dog comes into play throughout the story and the hard and fast facts of the dog’s tale give some grounding to the story.

The dog’s story is told in a just-the-facts, not-the-details style.  And the dog’s story is a funny story.  It involves a chastity belt (for the dog), and another dog’s skill at the belt’s removal.  But  the funniest part came at the end when the narrator criticized her son’s wife because she would be the kind of person who would ask for details “that no one cares to remember: what exactly does it look like, a chastity belt for digs, and of what material is such a thing made?”

The bookend parts that surrounded the story just kind of fade from my memory.

The five rules from Alexi Zenther: (more…)

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Kurt Vonnegut–Slapstick or Lonesome No More (1976)

Posted in David Bowie, Death, Funny (ha ha), Kurt Vonnegut, Memoirs, Mercury Rev, MGMT, Political Humor, Short Books, The Flaming Lips on July 4, 2011| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: MGMT-Oracular Spectacular (2008).

I bought this album a few years after it was hailed as the best album by everyone.  I never quite realized that they did all the songs I knew from it, but I was pleased that I bought it.  Then I promptly lost the disc.  I found it about seven months later in another case (doh!).  And I have given it a number of listens since then.

I’m confused as to why this album was so popular.  I’m not saying it’s bad, I’m just not sure why it was so hailed.  It’s a strange kind of record. There are a number of dancey hits (which aren’t really that dancey or anything), but there’s also a bunch of trippy psychedelic stuff as well.

The opener, “Time to Pretend” has a wonderfully catchy keyboard line that expands into a wonderfully simple, but catchy verse/chorus.  “Weekend Wars” reminds me of some of the weirder alternative hits of the early 90s.  The sound is kind of trebly and slightly off, but the middle of the song is full of beautiful swells of keyboards, giving it a strangely hippie vibe.

“The Youth” is a slower track which has a gentle sound and a nice chorus.  It’s pretty far from the danciness of the opener.  “Electric Feel” brings in some disco and funk.   The keyboards are very 70s trebly with a big bottom bass.

The standout track is “Kids.”  It marries the weird keyboard sound of the opener with a wonderfully catchy riff.  It also has a simple chord structure and big drums.  It’s the kind of song that sticks in your head from the first time you hear it.

The second half of the disc is where things change and the more psychedelic aspect so the band come in.  The album was produced by Dave Fridmann (Mercury Rev, Flaming Lips) and while that style is evident in the front of the album, it’s hidden under the more brash punk sounds.  n the last few songs the punky elements are absent and the psychedelia shines through.  “4th Dimensional Transition” is a wash of interesting sounds.  “Pieces of What” is a simple acoustic guitar with vocals that sound like they come from outer space.  “Of Moons, Birds & Monsters” never really coalesces, although the parts are interesting.  “The Handshake” is another folkie kind of song with overtones of David Bowie (who is never really absent anywhere on the disc) especially at the end of the song.  “Future Reflections” ends the disc with a synthy ballad.

The disc is quite different from the first five to the last five songs.  And I find that when I’m enjoying the hits, I’m less excited by the trippy parts (which meander as opposed to the immediacy of the hits).  But I think I could find myself enjoying the vibe of the second half of the disc more if the first half didn’t prep me for that stark pop punk sound.  I guess it has something for everyone.

[READ: June 28, 2011] Slapstick

I tend to read books that are long, or at least that feel long.  So Vonnegut is like a guilty little pleasure.  I read this in three lunch hours. And it felt like something of an accomplishment.

I can honestly say I didn’t enjoy this one as much as his previous books.  It was a lot darker and felt a bit more mean-spirited than his others.  True, Vonnegut is nothing if not mean-spirited, but there was something different about this one.  Was it that the protagonists were two meters tall with six fingers and toes and for the first several years of their lives spoke in nothing but baby talk?  Was it that they were so reviled by their parents that they were sent away to the parents’ second home and allowed no visitors?  Or was it that Manhattan was now called “The Island of Death?”  Or maybe it was just the repeated use of “Hi Ho” at the end of virtually every paragraph.

Or maybe it’s that the story doesn’t really feel complete.  There isn’t a lot of story here, but as with lots of Vonnegut, there are a lot of little details that join the story together.  The novel is constructed as chapters, but within the chapters are very short almost paragraph long sections separated by dots.  These little paragraphs sort of work as small scenes, with most having a kind of punch line at the end (this is not too dissimilar from Breakfast of Champions, but the sections are even smaller here).

The two aforementioned protagonists are as described.  But although they speak in nothing but nonsense syllables, they are in fact quite intelligent.  Indeed, when they put their minds together (literally) they reach epochal levels of genius.  And when they put their heads together they write several massively intelligent treatises and the most popular child-rearing manual in history, So You Went and Had a Baby.  Well, actually, Wilbur wrote it for Eliza is illiterate (she just has most of the brainstorms).  Technically, the real protagonist of the story is Wilbur, for these are his memoirs. (more…)

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Andrew Shaffer–Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love (2011)

Posted in 18th Century, 19th Century, Andrew Shaffer, Ayn Rand, Biography, Books about writers, Decadence, Funny (ha ha), History, Jean-Paul Sartre, Letters, Louis Althusser, Marriage Trouble, Plato, Sex, Short Books, Smarty Pants, The Head and the Heart, The Kopecky Family Band, Tiny Desk Concert, Virginity (Loss of) on July 3, 2011| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: THE KOPECKY FAMILY BAND-Tiny Desk Concert #131 (June 6, 2011).

I’d never heard of The Kopecky Family Band, but the write-up about them was pretty interesting, so I decided to give the Tiny Desk concert a listen.  The band (all 7 of them) play a great collective of music: two guitars (acoustic & electic) bass, cello, violin, drums and keyboard.  They play a sort of traditional folk with a very full sound.

Indeed, they remind me an awful lot of The Head and the Heart (the singer’s voice in particular), although they are from different edges of the continent and have been playing music about as long as each other (indeed, The Kopecky Family Band released an EP in 2008 whereas Head and the Heart formed in 2009).

And the Kopecky website offers lots of free music (which is very cool).

“Howlin’ at the Moon” is a full acoustic sounding track.  “Birds” has a simply gorgeous whistle/xylophone melody that is as beautiful as it is catchy.  “Disaster” is a tender ballad with wonderful harmonies.  And “Red Devil” is a somewhat more rocking song, which really helps to demonstrate the bands’ diversity.

And the band is charming.  Keyboardist/singer Kelsey admits to having left a trinket of some kind of the office bookshelves (which are littered with things).  It’s a wonderful set, and because of it, I downloaded the band’s first EP from their site.

[READ: June 5, 2011] Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love

Shaffer was signing books at BEA this year.  My coworker told me that he was very funny and that he signed her book in an amusing way.  He happened to be signing at the table next to the line I was on. Sadly, he finished before I was able to get to him.  But I was pretty close to the beginning of the line, so I asked if I could grab a copy of his book, which I did (although no autograph for me).

This is a silly book of nonfiction.  It looks at thirty-seven philosopher or thinkers and their utter failure at love.  Each man (and occasional woman) has had some distinguishing characteristic that made them pretty lousy in the emotional range.

The title of the book is funny and is meant to be kind of surprising: these smart folks were terrible at love.  Of course, spending a minute or two thinking about who these people were and what they did, it’s not surprising that they were lousy at love.  These were intellectuals, people who spend most of their time in their own mind.  Of course they couldn’t have a serious relationship.

Nevertheless, these stories are all more or less amusing (Louis Althusser accidentally strangled his wife to death(!) which isn’t amusing per se, but the story of it is, kind of).  Shaffer does a great job at keeping each entry brief but really retaining the salient points of the thinker’s philosophy and a cogent example of his or her lousiness at love.  He also throws in some amusingly snarky comments of his own as he goes along.

I was delighted that the book order was done alphabetically rather than chronologically.  A chronological list would have been a little too samey in terms of each person’s context.  The alphabetical list allows for jumping around from say Plato to Ayn Rand which keeps the stories interesting and fresh.

At the end of each person’s piece, there’s an “In His Own Words” which offers a quote that details his or her written philosophy regarding love.

Dare I say that this is an ideal bathroom book?   It certainly is. And it makes you feel a little better about yourself (if you haven’t for instance, adopted your mistress as your daughter (Sartre)).

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Five Dials Number 11 (2010)

Posted in Advice, Alain de Botton, All Songs Considered, Books about writers, Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band, Cluster, Craig Taylor, Culture Shock, David Bowie, Death, Decadence, Essays, Excerpt, Five Dials, Food, Funny (ha ha), Harper's, Irish Writer, Jon Savage, Kate Bland, Lou Reed, Negativland, Neil Young, Nick Drake, Patti Smith, Paul Murray, Pavement, Primus, Raymond Chandler, Roberto Bolaño, Sand, Steely Dan, Suicide, The Bay City Rollers, The Pogues, The Residents, The Umbrellas of Cherbourg on July 2, 2011| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: THE RESIDENTS-Meet the Residents plus Santa Dog EP (1973/1972).

Like a proto- Negativland meets Primus, The Residents took the world by storm in 1973.  Their debut album (pictured here) bore the unmistakable tagline: The First Album by North Louisiana’s Phenomenal Pop Combo.  And so it is.

Read more about the album in the Jon Savage essay below.

“Boots” is a sampled and remashed version of “These Boots Are Made for Walking.”  “Gylum Bardot” sounds like a Primus demo.  “Breath and Length” is noise and noise and effects and a soothing female vocal singing the title.   “Consuelo’s Departure” is a noisy soundtrack to nothing and “Smelly Tongues” sounds like a hammered dulcimer with a menacing bassline behind it until the vocals come in: “Smelly tongues looked just as they felt”.   And all 6 of these songs last less than ten minutes total.

“Rest Aria” changes tempo of things.  It’s five minutes long.  It starts as a simple piano track (slightly out of tune) but it slowly adds crazy horns and what sounds like children’s instruments.  The other longish song, “Spotted Pinto Beans” comes with a kind of faux chorus (female and then male) singing a kind of call and response which is overtaken by noise.

The one-minute “Skratz” comes between these two longer songs and is mostly  mumbling spoken vocal.  “Infant Tango” sounds like a normal song.  It opens with a funky wah wahed guitar.  Of course, the skronking horns and mumbled bass vocals tell you this is not going to be a hit.  It runs 6 minutes long with a strange little “guitar solo” in the middle.

“Seasoned Greetings” (with it’s weird holiday wishes at the end) segues into the 9 minute “N-Er-Gee (Crisis Blues”).  “N-Er-Gee” is a piano “melody” which is really someone banging the same notes very hard on the piano.  The voice on both tracks sounds like the aural equivalent of blackface until the sample (a very long sample that apparently voided placement on some releases) of “Nobody But You” morphs into a manipulated sampling of the word “boogaloo” and eventually becomes a dissonant chant of the title.

The appended Santa Dog is a bit more song-like.  Totally weird songs yes, but there’s actual melodies and lyrics.  Like on “Fire”: “Santa dog’s a Jesus fetus.”  “Aircraft Damage” is mostly a bunch of people reciting bizarre lyrics over each other.  The whole EP was about 12 minutes.  It’s weird but more palatable than the LP.

Despite how much this album foreshadowed loony alternative bands in the future, there is a clear predecessor in Trout Mask Replica.  Although Captain Beefheart followed a (relatively) more conventional song structure, you can hear elements of the Beefheart within.  This album is also notable for being made in the early 70s when the technology to do this easily was very far away.  You could whip this album up in a few minutes now, but back then with splice and paste, it would take ages.

It did not sell as well as the similarly titled Meet the Beatles.

[READ: June 16, 2011] Five Dials Number 11

Five Dials Number 10 was a special issue, but Number 11 goes back to the format we know.  It sort of has a theme about lists.   It contains half a dozen short essays and one long short story by Paul Murray (author of Skippy Dies).  This issue is also something of a surprise as it weighs in at a fairly small 16 pages (sometimes smaller is perfectly fine).  The issue also raised a couple of totally weird coincidences which I will point out as they come up.

CRAIG TAYLOR-A Letter from the Editor: On Wilton’s and Lists
Number 10 was designed to be ready for an evening at Wilton’s Music Hall on February 26th.  But the real theme of the issue is lists.  In part this is inspired by the Raymond Chandler entry, it’s also inspired because Taylor keeps lists around the office.  At the end of the letter he provides a list of all of the notes he’d left to himself in the office.  Some are about the issue (Paul Murray manuscript), other are seemingly more random (USA 5 Canada 3, men’s Olympic ice hockey result;  Canada 7-Russia 3, men’s Olympic ice hockey result; ‘Range Life’–Pavement).  And the one that is most coincidental to me–(The Umbrellas of Cherbourg–Jacques Demy).  This is coincidental because on the day that I read this, my friend Lar wrote a post about this very movie, which was completely unknown to me. (more…)

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