SOUNDTRACK: DAVID O’DOHERTY-“Florence Falls” (2012).
Back in 2012, Cathy Davey said she’d “been trying to figure out how to raise awareness for homeless dogs without it becoming a negative campaign.” She says she “wondered how many songwriters would be interested in writing songs about dogs they have loved. It turns out nearly everyone I approached had a story to tell…”
So Davey and Neil Hannon of The Divine Comedy curated this album. Proceeds from the album go to the Dublin-based Dogs In Distress.
The album features new recordings from fourteen artists, including Lisa Hannigan. When the album came out Hannigan tweeted: “A dog is for life, this album is for Christmas” playing on the Humane Society’s “A dog is for life, not just for Christmas” which is designed to discourage giving pets as holiday gifts if they can’t be cared for. Sharon Shannon and David Gray both contribute instrumentals). And of course, The Divine Comedy.
I was planning to write about The Divine Comedy song, but my favorite track turned out to be this one from David O’Doherty, an Irish comedian. I don’t know anything about O’Doherty, but the delivery of this bittersweet song was top notch.
Musically, the song is simple, just a keyboard playing a nice melody. The story starts somewhat sweetly as Florence’s owner returns home.
As my key went in the door I’d call your name, you’d start to growl
And move menacingly across the floor
And as you’d thundered down the stairs
Snarling angrily
I’d wonder why I liked you so much
And you always hated me
The details of how bad Florence was are really hilarious.
In the winter you’d curl up by the fire at home
I’d go off to get your chew-chew
And then you’d eat my mobile phone
Then we realize just how bad Florence was
The first time that you nipped me people said you were just young
And the second time it was the heat
And the third you were only having fun (ha ha ha ha ha)
And the fourth time I actually needed Tetanus and you got neutered at the vet
She said that it would calm you down
And then you bit me on the leg
And since Christmas is coming, there’s a Christmas verse too:
I remember one time at Christmas
When you opened all the stuff
I put you out into the garden
And you were furious
You cried so much at this great injustice
I had to let you back in
And then you were good for an hour
…
Then you licked the turkey
Florence was truly a terrible dog. A terrible pet. And yet the ending reveals the truth:
Oh, Florence, there was nothing good about you I can’t think of anything
But I wish that you were still at home … hating me again.
You were a rubbish dog
But a rubbish dog is better than no dog
And even though this song is sweet and might make you a little teary-eyed, the phrase “rubbish dog” will always make me laugh.
[READ: November 30, 2019] “The Curfew”
I have loved Roddy Doyle’s stories for years. His early stuff was very funny, but it has been a pretty long time since he has written anything genuinely funny. But no matter, because what he writes is always good and very real.
The curfew in this story is in place because ex-Hurricane Ophelia is heading towards Dublin.
The protagonist is heading home, with a half hour to spare before the curfew. His wife is dismissive of the curfew–“Do they think it’s a civil war? It’s only a bit of weather,” but he likes the drama of it. He felt like he was helping to stave of a catastrophe–it was doing him good. It almost kept his mind off the medical news.
A couple of wees ago he’d had a checkup. All he could remember was the prostate exam. He smiled to himself thinking he could now address his daughter’s lectures about gender: “I know what you’re talking about, he’d be tempted to say. A woman doctor had her finger up my arse and she was thoroughly professional.” (more…)
Read Full Post »
at Boot and Saddle. I got a ticket for the third night, not really knowing what to expect.
I Just Read About That... 