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Archive for December, 2017

SOUNDTRACK: JOHNNY CASH-Christmas with JOHNNY CASH (2003).

I am not really a fan of Johnny Cash, but Sarah really likes him.  But we both found this album to be pretty awful.  Someone on Amazon said “This CD was mostly the “droning” Johnny Cash, rather than the compelling Johnny Cash.”  And I have to agree.

The music is pretty spare, almost nonexistent.  And Johnny barely sings at all–it’s either sing-speaking or just narrating.  You will not feel uplifted by this disc in any way.

I will say that the story songs “The Christmas Guest” and “Christmas as I Knew It” are quite moving–but nothing you’d want to hear more than once a season.

The fact that he made so many Christmas discs makes me laugh as well because I can’t help but hear

I love thee, Lord Jesus; look down from the sky
But I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
The Christmas Guest
Hark The Herald Angels Sing
The Gifts They Gave
Blue Christmas
Merry Christmas Mary (this song is not meant for Catholics, as Catholics do not forget Mary at all).
O Come All Ye Faithful
Away In A Manger
The Christmas Spirit
Joy To The World
Silent Night
Christmas As I Knew It

[READ: July 21, 2017] Pasmados/Spellbound

Max is an illustrator from Spain (his full name is Max Bardin).

This book collects a number of his prints and places them next to texts from A Map of Astonishment, an unpublished work by Oliver Veek.

It doesn’t really explain that the two items weren’t designed together, so it was a little hard to see how all of the items connected.  The drawings are cool, for sure, and sometimes you can see a connection, but not always.  I also wasn’t sure if the book was sequential in any way (it’s not).

Max has a great cartoon style–big thick lines and oversized/undersized character traits.  The first panel is of a giant, staring goggle eyed at a small skull.  The caption “So it was me who was the weirdo?” doesn’t exactly work, but you could see it connecting–and certainly setting the tone. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: ESQUIVEL-Merry X-mas From the Space-Age Bachelor Pad (1996).

Esquivel was a master of the Space-Age Lounge/jazz music.  He combined groovy chill lounge music but he added zipping steel guitar sounds and backing vocals like “Zoo zoop!  Pow!”

And of course, his records were mixed as stereo masterpieces for kick ass hi-fi equipment.  He flourished in the late 50s but had a resurgence in the 1990s, when this collection was released.  All of these songs were recorded in the late 1950s.

Esquivel himself doesn’t sing on these tracks (he does provide the spoken intro (with music by Combustible Edison)) on a terrific “Jingle Bells” (zoo zoo zwee).  The rest of the songs feel delightfully loungey with fun accents from the insturmets and vocals.  Xylophones, keybaords and great use of strings.

It feels cheesey, and it kind of is, but the musicianship and experimentation are very cool.  This is great addition to anyone’s Christmas collection.  Sprinkle a few of these songs into a mix and see if people zu zu zoom along.

Jingle Bells
White Christmas
Here Comes Santa Claus
Parade of the Wooden Soldiers
The Christmas Song
Frosty the Snowman
Snowfall
Sun Valley Ski Run
Blue Christmas
Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town
Auld Lang Syne (Adios from Esquivel!)

[READ: December 19, 2017] “The Friend”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: JAMES TAYLOR-At Christmas (2006).

James Taylor is a folk icon with a smooth voice.  It seems like it would be perfect for a chill Christmas album.

Well, since I last heard Taylor (1976’s Greatest Hits album) he has gotten a little away from that folk sound (imagine that) and more into a kind of bland(er) adult-contemporary sound.  This album has hints of light jazz in it too.  And, worse yet, he tries to lighten some of it up with humor.  Gasp.

When we got this disc we were so disappointed that I don’t think it has been listened to since.  Well, it wasn’t as bad as I remembered, but it’s a pretty long slog through the holidays (and it was nominated for a Grammy, of course).  Almost any one of these songs is a fine addition to any Christmas mix, but too many will put everyone to sleep.

This was originally released in 2004 and distributed by Hallmark Cards, which really does tell you all you need to know.  This was resequenced and a couple new songs were added.

“Winter Wonderland” has all the jazz trappings–muted trumpet, brushes on drums and Taylor’s voice which isn’t quite as comforting as it used to be.

“Go Tell It On the Mountain” sees him modifying this song somewhat and turning it far away from the gospel tradition.

“Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” has him scatting and be-bopping a little…which is not really his forte I hate to say.

“Jingle Bells” has him making it jazzy.  It’s a bit too much frankly.  Especially when it’s followed by

“Baby It’s Cold Outside” a duet with Natalie Cole, which really tells you everything you need to know about this disc–safe, safe choices.  The “joking” in this song was meant to be cute, but it comes off a little creepy.

After getting annoyed by the first half, I felt like the rest of the album worked pretty well.  He lays off the jazzyness and focuses on his voice.

“River” open with a pretty “Good King Wenceslaus,” on the acoustic guitar.  It switches to a fine version of Joni Mitchell’s “River.”  This is my favorite song on here and it was not included on the original Christmas release of 2004.

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” sticks in my head because he changes the words from “from now on” to “in a year our troubles will be out of sight.”  Why so specific?  And why every time?

“The Christmas Song” In this nice version, he sings “some holly and some mistletoe” like Paul McCartney does.  Interesting, as I don’t think he’s a vegetarian.

“Some Children See Him.”  This is a song I was unfamiliar with until a couple of years ago.  It’s quite sweet and suits him well.

“Who Comes This Night” I didn’t know this song at all.  But again the piano and bells suit his voice better than the jazzy songs.

“In the Bleak Midwinter” is a slow song, but man he slows it down even more.  And the disc ends with “Auld Lang Syne” which is surprisingly long and would be much better served without the “wailing” guitar solo.

Not every Christmas CD can be a winner.

[READ: June 16, 2017] Fine, Fine, Fine, Fine, Fine

This is the third McSweeney’s book in a row (all read around the same time) that I really didn’t like.

It’s not surprising, as I tend to not like Diane Williams’ stories at all (looking back, I don’t think I’ve ever liked anything she’s written).  I only read this because McSweeney’s sent it to me.

The book jacket is just covered with hagiography about what great writer she is and how she upends convention and stuff like that.  But to me, these aren’t stories at all.  And most of them don’t even make sense as themselves.

Rather than saying much more, I’m just posting some stories in full, to show what I mean. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: BRIAN WILSON-What I Really Want for Christmas (2005).

I was never really a fan of The Beach Boys. I mean, sure I liked some of their songs, but to this day I don’t even own Pet Sounds.  Shocking right?

So I was flabbergasted to find out how much I liked this Christmas album.   It’s partly his voice, but also the backing vocals and the wonderful arrangements that really make this disc special.  I also really love that he wrote some originals to go with the traditional carols (and his own earlier songs).

“The Man with All the Toys” Brian updates his own song for this record.
“What I Really Want for Christmas” I really like this new song, written by Brian and co-written by Bernie Taupin.
“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” I love the way this is sort of undersung, almost casual and fun for a religious song.
“O Holy Night” I love this song in general, but the production on this is terrific.
“We Wish You a Merry Christmas” I love hearing the bass harmonica on this song.  And of course that they sing about figgy pudding.  The backing vocal notes and flute are also quite lovely.

“Hark the Herald Angels Sing” I love that he doesn’t try to falsetto this song up–his voice is great at the tone he chose.  “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear” More bass harmonica and great backing vocals.  “The First Noel” Sung slowly and beautifully with (again) great backing harmonies.

“Christmasey” Written with Jimmy Webb this is my favorite “new” Christmas song.  The music is great and the lyrics are wonderful.  “It didn’t snow but we all agree its so Christmasey.”   “Little Saint Nick” I just like that his voice is deeper–I like this version better than the original even though it’s almost exactly the same.

“Deck the Halls” Guitar and “Wooweeooo” backing vocals make this a fun version of this song.  “Auld Lang Syne” is delightful in this a capella version.

“On Christmas Day” This is fun song with a really catchy chorus.  “Joy to the World” Some great backing vocals on this song and a cool vocal melody at the end of each verse.  “Silent Night” is one final a capella number.

Maybe I should check out this Pet Sounds after all.

[READ: December 18, 2017] “Chemistry”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection. (more…)

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[ATTENDED: December 17, 2017] Darlingside

We saw Darlingside at XPNFest in 2016.  The outdoor setting and our wilty family led to a less than stellar experience despite the amazing sound of the band.  How can four guys with one mic sound so good in an outdoor festival?

Well, when I heard they were coming back around, I was super excited to get tickets at Bethlehem Steel Stacks–the day they went on sale I bought a ticket right in front of the stage.  And then we couldn’t go.  A commitment came up, I got rid of the tickets and then we wound up not even going to the commitment. Ugh.

But it was all fine because they had announced a show at SOPAC and I still got second row seats.

The band sounded amazing in this small venue–which had wonderful acoustics.  And they were charming and funny as well. (more…)

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[ATTENDED: December 17, 2017] Henry Jamison

We had never heard of SOPAC when I got tickets for this show.  We were supposed to go to see Darlingside in Bethlehem, but it was the same night as a Boy Scout event (which, frustratingly we did not go to, anyhow).  But I hoped that they would be playing somewhere else nearby and huzzah, they were playing in South Orange!

Well, the theater is charming and the sound is phenomenal.  I can only hope that other people that we like will play here.

Main Street also had some yummy looking restaurants, but we didn’t have time to check them out.  We did arrive in plenty of time to claim our 2nd row (!) seats for this show.

As the lights dimmed and we were told to power off our phones (three humorous times).  Then Henry Jamsion walked out with his phone on–saying he had to have it on during the show.

He never introduced himself, just started playing. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Fall Nationals, Night 10 of 10, The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto (December 17, 2005).

This was the 10th and final night of their 10 night Fall Nationals run at the Horseshoe.   And their final show on the Rheostatic site before the “final” shows in 2007.

Great guest moments including Anthony Fragomeni reprising his Drumstein character from Dave Reid’s Centennial High School Production, Selina Martin and Jenn Foster guesting on I Dig Music/PROD, Robin Lowe taking another shot at Sweet, Rich, Beautiful and Mine due to issues with Martin’s Rig on Guest Vocalist night, Ida Nelson and Tim performing Listening, Kaitlyn and Nevil guesting on the Pogues Fairytale of New York and an awesome version of Powderfinger wedged inside Feed Yourself. Great show to end the final edition of the Fall Nationals.

The show opens with “a folk song for all you drinkers here at the hustling Horseshoe Hotel”  It’s a big friendly welcome that introduces the band as well.     Martin: As the song says, “Welcome.  Things have been pretty hairy the last few nights.”

As they start “Northern Wish,” Dave says, “Hey, who is that guy.  You’re not in our band.  Someone call security.”  It sounds great. Then Ford starts playing the “Everyday People” chords.  They sing the song and fun and then Tim segues his bass line perfectly into “It’s Easy To Be With You.”

There’s a very nice “Introducing Happiness.”  Ron Koop from Peep Show comes out, “He’s been our knight in shining armour.”

During “Queer,” Ford gets a lengthy piano solo which suddenly changes to Gordon Lightfoot’s “Alberta Bound” (send this one out to Dutch)

Up comes Ms. Robin Lowe, she’s been selling you shit for the last ten days.  There’s some talk about Roger Clemens.  Martin “What?”  Robin: “The Astros.  Baseball.”  This leads to a discussion about the Italians on the Moon.  Dave: “The Italians wouldn’t go to the moon because it’s just too far from home, from mama’s kitchen.  Unless mom could go too and lay out his spaceman clothes on his space bed.”  Martins mom is there tonight.  “So no cussing, Martin.”

“There’s no swearing in this one.”  On “Sweet, Rich, Beautiful, Mine” Robin makes up for the problem the other night and does a great job–such high notes!  The only thing I miss in the song is when Martin’s guitar soars at that one mention of “rich.”

Martin then says “This is Ford’s set list.  I wrote this song when I was a teenager.  And I think the last time we played it i was still one.”  For the line: “And mother said [Mike: tonight] lying’s wrong.”  Martin: “I like that song.  I forgot about it.”  Ford: “It got played last year. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal.”

Selina Martin and Jennifer Foster come out for “I Dig Music.” Ford: “now there are beautiful women, who knows what will happen next.   They sing backing vocals but not very noticeably.  Mid song, Dave notes: “we defer to the velvet fog or in this case the Polish fog.”  (MPW’s vocal about “Senor Slime.”  They get really insane by the end with everyone screaming “jazz animal.”  Dave says with just a little bit of hard rock thrown in there.  It turns into “P.R.O.D.”  Ford plays the horn.  Dace: “That’s a big horn. What hardcore needs is more French horn.”  Tim is called on for a bass solo, but it’s the wrong bass. “Shall we pause while Tim puts on the right bass.”

It’s our last night so we feel required to walk the tightrope–always on the edge of trying too hard.

Send this out to George Collins: “Making Progress.”  At the end Tim says, “That’s for Lisa.”  Dave: “No I already dedicated it to George.”

Ford plays a long wavery weird keyboard note as a transition to “Who Is This Man And Why Is He Laughing?”

Dave says “On Wednesday we did Whale Music and we brought some songs out of the woodshed and here’s one of them in case you missed it.”  It’s a nice version of “Who?”   Tim: That was definitely from my They Might Be Giants phase [I can hear that].

But it takes a bit to start because Michael’s having a pee.  Every time he plays that red guitar he has to pee.

Martin says “We’re gonna tighten up the space between songs from here on.”
Dave: “That was peeing problem.”
Martin: “I’ve noticed as a general trend.  It’s not a gabby night.  Last night was a gabby night.”
Tim: “incontinence was a trend.”
Mike: “Tim is one of those toque guys who when he takes it off you think male pattern baldness but then he peels it off and he’s got lustrous hair.”
Dave: “hair pride, hair shame, hair shame, hair pride.”
Tim: “You guys are talking not rocking.”

I Am Drumstein.  Anthony Fragomeni (formerly Anthony until he went to jazz college, now he’s Tony).  He was the lead of Centennial High School’s Story of Harmelodia.  Tim says it was a career highlight seeing that.   Tony adds personalized notes about the band in the lyrics and they really rock the end.

MPW plays a drum fill through the end–I just did that because I blew the ending and I thought I’d do an interesting beat to a new song.
Tim: “That drum part reeked of cover up.”
Mike: “You’re right.  Me and Karl Rove.”

After a pause.  Mike says, “Let’s do something sprawling and epic.”
Martin: “Almost as sprawling and epic as the space between songs.”

Martin introduces “CCYPA” as “this is a little blues number I wrote to sell chicken wings.”  Mid song Tim advises, “Remember they call it conservative but it’s still spelled Reform.  They’re like wolves in dogs’ clothing.”  Dave: “Stephen Harper eats babies.  You can see it in his eyes.  He takes off his face and there’s a  lizard face.”  Mike: “He went to France to get dead eye transplants.”  Tim: “And under the face of the lizard is the face of a Reform party member.”
By this time, they’re down to just a few bass notes playing.  “If Tim stops, are we still inside the song?”

Mike asks Martin if mid-song patter is okay, and Martin says, “yeah, I’m enjoying this.”

This next song is also brought to you by Ford Pier (Mike: and his incessant caterwauling).  They play a fun “Triangles On The Walls” and Martin modifies a line to: “her name was Satan, but I guess she called herself that for her own protection because she was perfectly nice.”  It’s followed by a very nice “Try To Praise This Mutilated World.”

Up next is a surprise cover of “Fairytale of New York” sung by Kaitlyn and Nevil (“and we’re both wearing matching outfits tonight.”  Nevil does a great Shane/Tom Waits style.  Kaitlyn is less impressive.  After the first verse, no one does the penny whistle fast part, but that doesn’t stop them. They kind of fight their way through the song and it’s overall pretty okay.

There’s a really intense “Feed Yourself” with Dave singing/screaming “I wanna see her face” and getting really creepy: “open up the grave.”  They play a decent “Powderfinger” in the middle of the song and then come back to finish it.”   We’ll stay in the suburbs for this next song: “Stolen Car.”

Dave thanks everyone for the privilege of playing for them “It gives us lots of fuel for the future.”  (Rats)

The end of “Song Of The Garden” is just insane with Dave freaking out and screaming about the beauty of Harmelodia.  But as the song ends, Mike won’t stop his insane drumming and Martin is making all kid of feedback noises.  Dave even tries to get everyone to stop “Hey children, you know what time it is?  Rock n roll children, do you realize what time it is?”  But Mike won’t stop.  Dave starts playing “You Are Very Star” and Martin starts singing even while mike thunders away.  They finish the song in a childlike way and someone says, “Aw young’uns you’re all so adorable.”

“The Land Is Wild” starts with Dave solo.  It builds but people mess up the end on him.”  Then Tim plays a new one (“Listening”) with Ida from Vancouver  Great Aunt Ida has opened for them the last few nights).

“Legal Age Life At Variety Store” starts.  Dave says, “I think it’s time.”  Tim: “For me to play the drums?”  It’s tradition.  Every year for the five years or maybe even longer…  I don’t mean Martin playing the bongos, or mike playing the bass or Tim playing the drums.  It’s the fifth annual Horseshoe twist contest.”

Mike is terrible at the bass and Tim screws up a fill, “I know, I know, I’m back on the bass.”  “Timmy ‘smooth fills’ is fired.”  “I’m not fired so much as demoted, downsized.”  The contestants, are Melissa, Eric “that’s Eric with his version of the twist.”    Stephanie fulfilling her life-long dream to twist with the Rheostatics.  Susan, Paul and James.  As the twist continues, Martin starts talking in a crazy Russian accent: “Hi, my name is Wendell Clark (presumably he has the Wendell doll). Can you twist with Wendell.? I guess i think Wendell Clark is Russian or something.”

Then he introduces “the twist champion of the greater Ottawa Valley Ron Koop.  All of our contestants have been super fine–they all get something from the merch table and the honor of twisting with Ron Koop.”

After nearly 20 minutes of Legal Age Life and twisting they play “Power Ballad For Ozzy Osbourne.”  Dave switches the words to “Wendell, dear old Wendell” and Ford gets on organ solo.

After a jaunty “PIN,” Dave says, “don’t worry fellas, you guys are going to get to the leather bar.  Things don’t really get started until 5 clock.

And after all of that, they end the nearly three hour show with a ten minute scorching version of “Horses.”  When they get to the Talking Heads part, Martin sings it in the robot voice–which sounds pretty awesome.  It’s a great ending, a great set, and quite a shame that the band broke up a few months after this.:.

[READ: July 26, 2017] The Stone Heart

It had been a year since I’d read the first book in this trilogy.  I was worried that I’d forget what had happened, but Hicks catches us up pretty quickly and, more importantly, her storytelling was so good in the first book that it was easy to get right back into this exciting story.

The story opens on Rat and Kaidu–Rat has been doing some physical therapy on her hurt ankle and is feeling pretty much all better.

As a nice reminder, we see Rat and Kaidu meeting Ezri, the son of the General of All Blades.  In the last book, it was Rat and Kaidu who saved Erzi and the city.

We also see that a monk is there to discuss things with the general.  Rat knows the monk (named Joah) who used to be a soldier but rescinded violence when he joined the monastery.  Then we also see that Erzi’d guard Mura also knows the Monk and doesn’t seem to like him much. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: YOU sleigh ME: Twelve songs from Twelve Atlantic artists for the twelve days of Christmas (1995).

This is one of the first “alternative” Christmas albums I bought.  At the time, I bought it for Tori Amos and Juliana Hatfield.  But this disc has not held up very well and collections have gotten so much better.

Between the poor song choices and the rather bland recordings, the whole things is kind of tedious.

MARY KARLZEN-“Run Rudolph Run”
I’ve said before that I don’t really like this song.  This version chugs along just fine.  The one thing it really has going for it is that she plays with the genders of the kids so that it’s the girl who wants the electric guitar. That’s cool.

COLLECTIVE SOUL-“Blue Christmas”
I don’t really love this song either, although surprisingly this is probably one of my favorite versions so of it.  The rhythm is a weird shuffle, almost like the hand-jive but I like the heavy guitars at the end of each verse.  Weird that his delivery is almost like Elvis though.

TORI AMOS-“Little Drummer Boy”
I can’t imagine when she would actually have sung this live (for it is a live recording). Typical Tori, her voice sounds great and it’s before she started singing in a weird style.

DONNA LEWIS-“Christmas Lights”
No idea who Donna Lewis is.  This song is a mild, inoffensive Christmas song that I can’t say much more about.

BILLY PILGRIM-“The First Noel”
I have no idea if this band is still around or even who was in them, but this version of the song is quite nice.  There’s pretty folk guitar and some great harmonies.  I can nit-pick about the No-ell-ell part but overall this one’s a keeper.

JULIANA HATFIELD-“Make It Home”
As I said, I bought this disc for Tori and Juliana.  This song is pretty, but it was used in My So-Called Life so it’s not special at all.  Boo.

JILL SOBULE-“Merry Christmas from the Family” (NSFC)
I’d always assumed that Jill wrote this song, although I see now that it was written by Robert Earl Keen.  This song is hilarious and mostly inappropriate.  And yet it also has a lovely sentiment (if you can get past the drunks and family problems).  It’s my favorite on this disc to be sure.

DANIEL JOHNSTON-“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
I just don’t understand why people listen to Johnston.  His voice is not compelling, and this sounds like someone making fun of the song.

DILLON FENCE-“Christmas”
This is a slick song that is about Christmas in some way.  It’s sort of blandly inoffensive jangle pop.

JAMES CARTER-“White Christmas”
This is an interminable 8 minute jazz sax solo version of the song.  Wow, it never ends.

VICTORIA WILLIAMS-“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
Victoria Williams also has a take-it-or-leave-it voice.  I used to like her more than I do now, bu that could change any minute.  This song is faithful to the original and pretty if you like her singing.

EVERYTHING BUT THE GIRL-“25th December”
Another bland folky song.  The chorus is catchy, but I can’t be bothered to figure out what it has to do with Christmas.

Overall this is a disappointing disc and there are far better options.

 

[READ: December 17, 2017] “Last Woman”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection

I enjoyed this piece for the way it juxtaposed a woman living by herself with the last woman left alive in a video game. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Fall Nationals, Night 9 of 10, The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto (December 16, 2005).

This was the second to last night, the 9th night of their 10 night Fall Nationals run at the Horseshoe.

This show seems to be a confluence of technical difficulties and goofs.  The band is probably loopy after eight nights.  They even got under way late, apparently.

They open with “Saskatchewan.”  The song sounds great, the band is really into it. The backing vocals are great and the song soars.  But then they spend nearly 6 minutes trying to figure stage issues out.   Martin says, “Tim’s acoustic guitar is strung in Nashville tuning.  You should try it sometime.” (I wonder what that means).

Thanks to Great Aunt Ida for opening for us tonight.

Martin says “This is the Cazostatics.  Hugo Boss’ line of clothing. You notice Tim’s flannel shirt.”  Dave and Martin talk about “guys touching their nipples, a  21st century phenomenon.”  Martin: “It was funny 12 years ago.  There’s one person who can do it I love him.”  (I wonder who that is).

After a few minutes, Dave says, “Be careful or I’ll start talking about merch….  All right, I’m talking about merch (merch bassline).

This song (Tim’s new song) is worth it, I like it a lot.  Tim: “this better be a good fucking song is all I have to say.”  “Sunshine At Night” sounds good.

Don’t forget the bongos.  Martin:  “last night, I got to play the bongos with a black turtleneck on.”  Dave: “I think you mean you got away with playing bongos wearing a black turtleneck.”

Then comes two songs from Introducing Happiness.   “Fish Tailin'” and “Me and Stupid.”  At the end, Dave says, “Tim, a little horn pipe on the bass.”  Which he does.  And then Dave says, “one thing we don’t know about Ford Pier–have you ever recited poetry?”  “Never have done, sir?” Anything that rhymes?  Greeting cards?”  When pressed he comes with a verse from 7 Seconds’ “Colourblind.”

There’s nothing funny when you think about
All the hate in this world makes me just wanna shout
Whether Black, White, Brown, Red, Yellow, or Blue
All the caring in the world will depend on you
We gotta fight to change things; help rearrange things
Get along; stand together; live as one
But the only way to do it is to get right to it
Communicate, ?, and getting things done

Martin: “This is a weird night.”  Dave: “Here’s “Marginalized.”  The bass is off.  After a verse, Dave stops the song.  “The bass is really out of tune and the bass is vital.  I wouldn’t have stopped if it wasn’t really out of tune.”  Tim: “That’s the “Palomar” tuning form like two nights ago.”  Dave: “Sorry this shows gonna take 14 hours.  Have you heard about the merch?” (jazz chords).

Pick it up at the first chorus.  Dave stops it again.

Tim: “Hang on a sec, I think you might have just been playing the wrong notes.”
Dave: “Even a moron like me can play a G.”
Martin: “Cazostatics”
Dave: “I could fucking kick this bass with my foot and G would ring out.”
Tim: “That’s the approximate bass.”

Tim just picks up again and finished the song with “Little Caesar” by Vic Chesnutt.

Martin has a lot of fun with the goofy voice saying “Hi there.”  They play a great version of “The Tarleks” and then “Fan Letter To Michael Jackson.”   Near the end of the song Dave says, “let’s rock.”  Then pauses and says, “but first let’s reluctantly rock.”  Tim: “may we rock?”  Dave:  “Not yet.”  Martin: “Sorry.  May we sheepishly rock?”  Dave: “Martin is exhibiting a slight degree of frock on his very unrock guitar.  Tim’s digging in.  Ford has put away that nasty French horn and is coming to the dark side.  Now we must rock.”

At the end, Martin takes off with “RDA” but after he starts it gets shut down.  “Aww, wrangler Dave.”
Mike: “It’s only good when Dave calls out the chords.”
Martin: “Sorry dad, I didn’t mean to come out like that.”

Martin:  “I’m playing a double neck guitar.  The upper neck has 12 strings.  The lower four of which are in octaves although two appear to be missing.  The lower neck is a normal 6 string guitar.”  In a cheesy voice: “I love this axe.  It has rocked me through many a show.  Check this out.  The lower neck resonates in the upper neck.  That’s no gizmo.  That’s in the axe.  Have I blown your mind?”

Ford: “Your inner pedagogue has really reared its head for this last Fall Nationals.  You’ve been giving away all your shit.  Kiss wouldn’t even tell people how they kept their make up from running.”

Dave says he wants to make a parody instructional guitar DVD.  Ford: “Parody my nutsack.”  Would anybody buy that?  Tim says he would buy it if it was called “Parody My Nutsack: Dave Bidini on Rhythm Guitar.”

Ford says we’re demonstrating the chatter-to-music ratio.

This one’s called “Smokin’ Sweet Grass.”  They start “Making Progress” which Tim says is “for the guy who just shouted ‘fucking play.'”  It’s followed by a nice “Little Bird Little Bird.”

Ford tells a story about finding moth larvae on his suit pants.  Every time he pauses, Dave plays a rim shot.
Tim tells his own story (Dave still doing rim shots).  He says they  got a dog which the cats hate.  The vet gave him something you plug in the wall to release pheromones to make you cat feel good.  Like cat prozac.  Dave: “I snorted that backstage at the Duran Duran reunion.”  Tim: “He gave us a sample and we’re on it tonight.  So everything is okay.  Until the end of the world.”

“Here Comes The Image” features MPW on the synth.  Martin: “Mike forgot his mustache wax.  It’s followed by “Who Is This Man and Why Is He Laughing?” with Jennifer Foster (better known in some parts as JFo).  Tim: Dave Bidini on drums for two songs in a row.  Pretty awesome.”

“Pornography” starts slow, but the end picks up and rocks.  Martin says “Tim Vesely, the lizard king.”

Tim says this night is full of a crowd full of people who came from shitty office parties.  Dave: “Our office party was tonight, two clubs over.”

“In This Town” rocks and is followed by “PIN”  Dave says it’s from Night of the Shooting Stars, the black album.  At the end, Martin starts making goat noises (??).  Eat me, feeeeeeeed me.

Next comes “Four Little Songs.”  Martin sings his verse like a goat.  For our third little song, last night’s comedy guests The Imponderables.  Their bit is all about dreams.  Three guys tell their dreams.  The fourth guy comes out.  He’s certainly naked, possibly with an erection. Everyone reacts appropriately. Dave: “That’s The Imponderables and that’s John’s cock.”  In Dave;s verse he sings “your voice will ring out like a giant…schlong.”  He ends the song saying, “There’s certain things that make our Horseshoe stands that much more memorable.”

Ford plays a roller rink version of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.”  After two minutes, Tim starts singing “Shangri-La” (by The Kinks) which segues into “Bad Time To Be Poor.”   Man someone’s guitar is way off playing sour notes through the whole thing.

Then the return to “RDA.”  It rocks and they have guests from Lowest of the Low Steve Stanley and Paul (can;t find his last name).  Mid song they launch into a heavy version of “I’m So Bored With The USA.”  Paul rails about middle management and wants cultural diversity he wants middle management to get out of public broadcasting.  Dave: “Will someone save Canada from itself?”

Ford sings The English Beat’s “Save It For Later.”  And then they end with a 20 minute medley

“Takin’ Care Of Business” (anybody bring a cowbell?), into “My Generation.”  Martin sings “One More Colour.”  It jumps to “P.R.O.D.” with Mr Ron Koop.  Over to G.  after a few bars, Ford says, “the suspense is killing me.”  So Dave plays “Bud The Spud.”  He kind of mumbles it very fast, “that’s the closest I’ve ever come to rapping.”  It turns into “Radios In Motion” and then into “Blitzkrieg Bop.”  Dave: Take it down to Bflat… never mind take it back to A.  Ford sings “Monkey Man” by Amy Winehouse.  It becomes “Green Sprouts.”  Dave: “You know what I hate in this song?”  The bridge?  Tim: “Take it to the bridge.”  The audience chanting 1,2,3,4.  Tim instructs them.

Thanks to the Lowest of the Low, Great Aunt Ida, The Imponderables and TruthHorse tomorrow.

[READ: August 8, 2017] Demon Vol. 2

I really enjoyed the far out and rather over the top premise of volume 1 of this series (of four in total).

Volume 2 is much larger than Volume 1 (about 50 pages larger).  And that extra size allows for more complexity.

And I admit I was a bit confused from time to time.  The whole premise of the story is a little confusing in a wrap-your-head-around-it kinda way, but he added a new element that was a major Wha?? moment.

So Jimmy Yee, is a boring 44-year-old actuary.  He didn’t realize that he was actually a demon until the day before when he tried to kill himself.  Now whenever his body dies, the demon jumps into the nearest body.  His personality transfers to the new body, and Shiga represents this by having Jimmy’s face on each new body (but if someone else looks at that person he still looks like what the now-possesed person’s face.

Jimmy has been experimenting with this whole Demon thing.  And that means inhabiting various body and killing them (which looks like suicide).  The police are after him for the series of murders he has committed (even though he himself is technically dead). (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: CHRISTMAS REMIXED 2 (2005).

I loved the first one of these CDs and this disc is only slightly less exciting than the first.  The songs continue in the same vein: most of the songs remain faithful to the original with just an upbeat drum track underneath the vocals.  I know many of these originals even less well than the last disc, so I’m sure many parts are manipulated in different ways.  But it’s all in good fun and really gets these songs moving, tastefully.

Joe Williams-“Jingle Bells” (Bombay Dub Orchestra Remix)
I love the wah-wah guitars that propel this song along.   The mephasis on the way he say o’er also makes me smile

Jimmy McGriff–“The Christmas Song” (Tonal Remix)
This is primarily a surf guitar melody with big horns thrown in as needed.  The beat rocks along wonderfully.  Therre’s even a groovy organ solo in this instrumental

Bing Crosby & Ella Fitzgerald-“Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer” (John Beltran Remix)
I really need to hear the original of this.  Bing and Ella have a blast together.  There’s some really fun backing vocals too.  All the remix seems to do is add some swinging drums and it sounds great.

Charlie Parker-“White Christmas” (King Kooba Remix)
This instrumental features some long-winded solos from Parker that kind of take us way from the main theme.  It’s a bit of a wandering song, but still ok.

Rosemary Clooney-“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” (MNO Remix)
There’s a great beat throughout this song.  Rosemary’s vocals are a little spare compared to everything else.  There’s more music than singing, but maybe the remix just spreads out the few words more.

Patti Page-“Frosty The Snowman” (Rondo Brothers Remix)
This moves along quickly with the children’s choir interspersed as needed.

CSSR State Philharmonic-“Good King Wenceslas” (Patrick Krouchian Remix)
This song has a lot of loops, with the opening riff repeated a lot.  The main thing about this instrumental is the way it gets compressed and then gets loud again.  There’s not much to it, but it’s fun.

Charles Brown–“I’ll Be Home For Christmas” (Ohmega Watts Remix)
This song is particularly oidd because it sounds like  70s song with the synth and guitar.  I actually thoughtit was Stevie Winder.  I guess not all of the songs are classic.  There’s not much to it and it’s not the classic “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” either.

Bing Crosby-“White Christmas” (Kaskade Remix)
The original is slow and sentimental.  This version makes it dancey but it doesn’t lose any of Bing’s vocal stylings.  Simply putting drums on it changes everything.

The Berlin Symphony Orchestra-“Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy” (Red Baron Remix)
I love this song, the way the drums are used, the way the strings are re-purposed.  It’s terrific.

Vic Damone-“Winter Wonderland” (Future Loop Foundation Remix)
This song is fast with lots of washes of music.  I’m not really sure what the original sounds like, but this version is chopped up to make it all much faster.  It’s a cool remix.

Mahalia Jackson-“Silent Night” (46bliss Remix)
Once again, by putting a drum beat to this song it changes the tone completely.  I’m not sure that this is the best song to remix, but it sounds good this way.

It has been over ten years since this disc came out.  I assume there won’t be any more, which is a real shame as there’s so many more songs to play with.

[READ: December 16, 2017] “Tremendous Machine”

Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.

Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.

If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.

(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)

This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection.

This is the first (and possibly only) story I’d read before (from Harper’s in 2015).  I liked it then and enjoyed it this time.  Here’s what I said then (more…)

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