SOUNDTRACK: PUNK ROCK XMAS (1995).
Long before it was cool to make “punk” things for mass consumption, Rhino released this Christmas album. I bought it because I was pretty tired of Christmas songs back in 1995 and this was a pretty good antidote.
Listening to it twenty years after it came out, I was surprised to hear how many songs would fit pretty nicely in a contemporary rocking playlist. Although in the true spirit of punk, there are a number of songs that wouldn’t fit at all, either because of the very anti-Christmas sentiment or the bad language. I have labelled those [NSFC] Not Safe for Christmas.
THE RAVERS-(It’s Gonna Be A) Punk Rock Christmas
This song is actually quite fun. Santas’s gonna be a Sex Pistol for a Day and Farrah Fawcett is going to change her hair.
THE DICKIES-Silent Night
This is a fairly faithful rendition of the song, just done as a surf punk song with the nasal vocal delivery of The Dickies. I’ve know this song for decades and have rocked out to it on many a non holiday eve.
SLOPPY SECONDS-Hooray For Santa Claus Theme From ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians’
This is a rocking cover of the hilarious song from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I can’t even imagine how they know it as I only know the movie from MST3K.
FEAR-Fuck Christmas [NSFC]
This song starts off like a slow ponderous song and then it ends abruptly with a hardcore chant of the title.
THE GREEDIES-A Merry Christmas
This is a fairly straight punkish blend of Christmas songs, puts some pep in your ho ho ho.
THE DAMNED-There Ain’t No Sanity Claus
This song is just great, Christmas themes or no. In fact I don’t even know what the rest of the words are and it could easily NOT be a Christmas song–except for Santa Ho Ho Hoing at the end.
PANSY DIVISION-Homo Christmas [NSFC]
Kudos to Rhino for adding this aggressively queer song to the mix. But it is quite explicit. Also, I never noticed before but the opening chords could easily have the harmonica solo form Blues Traveler’s big hit fit in there very nicely (and wouldn’t that be a hoot).
BOUQUET OF VEAL-It’s Christmas [NSFC]
This is a mildly inappropriate song about sex and drugs but it’s catchy and short. You could probably slip it in without people noticing. (That’s what she said).
THE CELIBATE RIFLES-Merry Xmas Blues
The Celibate Rifles were an Australian punk band. I don’t really know them at all. The verses of the song are fast and hard to understand but they’re darkly comic and the chorus is just a punk version of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas.” The end is a fairly straight blues riff. A fun addition to a party.
RAMONES-Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight)
This song is pretty widely accepted as a classic Christmas song now. Listening to it amid these other punk songs, it made me realize just how far the Ramones drifted away from their punk sound and into a more metal feel.
METAL MIKE, ALISON AND JULIA-Deck The Halls
This is a pretty goofy, sloppy, slurry version of the song. There’s mention of a helicopter. It’s a minute of fun.
EL VEZ-Feliz Navinada
This is one of my favorite Christmas songs. A wildly buzzy guitar, fast chanting of Feliz Navidad and some serious Public Image Limited love thrown in.
HUMPERS-Run, Run Rudolph [NSFC]
This would be a pretty straight punk version of this Christmas song, fun for all, except for the “Check this shit out” comment before the solo.
TVTV$-Daddy Drank Our Xmas Money [NSFC]
This is a sad (funny) drunken tale of a drunk dad spending all of the Christmas money. It starts out with a slow intro and then a fast punk conclusion.
THE FROGS-Here Comes Santa’s Pussy [NSFC]
This is a slow creepy song that feels like it’s meant to be really naughty, but it’s just kind of dumb.
MOJO NIXON-Christmas Christmas [NSFC]
I just don’t really like Mojo Nixon (my store could use some fixin’). I do, however, enjoy the idea that the chorus is done in the style of “Louie Louie.” But the verses are a bit beyond the pale.
D.I.-Mr. Grinch [NSFC]
The song starts with the melody form the song “Black Sabbath,” but it soon becomes a more standard punk version of the song. The biggest problem with the song is that it’s nearly 4 minutes long. People will clamor for the original, which is more fun anyway.
STIFF LITTLE FINGERS-White Christmas
This is a sloppy but faithfully punk version of the song for the first verse. The second time around is blistering sloppy noise punk.
[READ: December 12, 2017] “The Face”
Once again, I have ordered The Short Story Advent Calendar. This year, there are brief interviews with each author posted on the date of their story.
Hello. Welcome. It’s finally here: Short Story Advent Calendar time.
If you’re reading along at home, now’s the time to start cracking those seals, one by one, and discover some truly brilliant writing inside. Then check back here each morning for an exclusive interview with the author of that day’s story.
(Want to join in? It’s not too late. Order your copy here.)
This year I’m pairing each story with a holiday disc from our personal collection
This story is told in an interesting way. It begins with a boy raking leaves in an old couple’s front yard. He’s making money and having some fun (he leaps in the pile and wrestles with the bags once they are full). Then he sets the pile on fire.
While he’s watching it burn, the homeowner, an 80 year old man comes over to talk to him. Mr Aurelius asks if was true that the boy had been to Hong Kong. He had and he told the man some things he saw there (most of what he saw was ferries and dead animals). (more…)
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