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Archive for the ‘Funny (ha ha)’ Category

Lucy Ellmann–Doctors & Nurses (2006)

Posted in Funny (ha ha), Funny (strange), Huh?, Humiliation, Lucy Ellmann, Murder, Sex, Yuck! on March 5, 2023| Leave a Comment »

[READ: January 20, 2023] Doctors & Nurses 

When I requested Sweet Desserts, I also requested Doctors & Nurses. I didn’t know the order of her books, I just picked the two that were the first ones on the list.

Doctors & Nurses is similar to Sweet Desserts in that it is short (although it is actually 50 pages longer) and has short chapters.  But otherwise it is very different.  Desserts was a fairly serious book about two sisters (and a lot of sex).  This book is a farcial romp (with a lot of sex).

Comments online said the cover looked like a chick lit book, but it looks to me more like a cartoon from Playboy from the 1970s.

And it kind of reads like that too.

While Sweet Desserts bounced back and forth between past and present and the focus shifted between the main character and her sister, this story focuses pretty squarely on Jen, a fat nurse who is misanthropic and really seems to hate everyone.

There is one notable and peculiar thing about this book that is never addressed nor explained.  Every pages has SEVERAL words that are written in all capital LETTERS for, and I’m not trying to be obtuse about this, no reason that I can READILY determine.  I admit that I didn’t put a lot of TIME into trying to figure it out, BUT it is very peculiar.

The book opens with a scene of a rock and a gorge and the rock perpetually invading the gorge’s precious space.  It’s remarkably graphic sexually, as far as a rock and a gorge can have sex that is.

But that has nothing to do with the rest of the story (until the every end) which is about a nurse named Jen.  Jen is angry most of the time (the list of thing she hates is extensive).  And the tone is set pretty early. (more…)

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Simon Edge–The End of the World is Flat (2021)

Posted in Flat Earth, Funny (ha ha), Simon Edge, Social Media, Technology on January 2, 2023| Leave a Comment »

[READ: June 25, 2022] The End of the World is Flat

I received this book at work and was instantly intrigued by the title and the blurb that described “A comedy featuring Christopher Columbus, a tech billionaire and a local delusion.”

The book opens with Christopher Columbus waiting to be given the go ahead to sail around the globe.  His flat earth sailors all believe that they will fall off the edge of the earth, but Columbus is convinced otherwise.

Then the story jumps to the present. Mel is the head of the charitable company called Orange Peel.  Mel single handedly created and developed orange peel with a singular goal in mind: to get anyone involved with maps (from teachers to Google) to stop using the Mercator map which is inherently flawed both in design and in the way it makes South America look less significant.  Rather, they should use the orange peel map projection (it looks like four small ovals attached to each other).

If you don’t know what any of this refers to, its worth looking into the history of maps to see just how wrong our standard (Mercator) understanding of the globe is.

When Google agreed to change their usage of the Mercator to the Orange Peel she feel that her job was done.  Mel had created a small but influential company and yet they had completed their goal–there was nothing more for them to do.  She intended to quietly close up shop and give everyone an excellent reference.

But the board that Mel had hired to look after things for her had other ideas.  They didn’t want to end things there, so they asked her assistant Shane to meet with a billionaire who had an idea for the next stage of the company.

While Mel was talking to Google, Shane was talking to tech billionaire Joey Talavera who is married to Crystal Vardashian.  The last name there is a non too subtle jab at someone (although Crystal turns out to have a level head and some good ideas.  But I’m not sure if Talavera is supposed to be someone or other.

Anyhow, Talavera talks to Shane, shows off his amazing house (one of his houses) and then says he wants to dump a lot of money at Orange Peel to promote his own cause.

Back in the boardroom when Mel saw the proposal (just before she walked out) she thought it was a joke,  But the board saw money in it and so, they agreed to take on Joey’s idea.  Which is that they world is flat and everyone knows it–but higher up people are working to keep it under wraps. (more…)

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Joe Dator–Inked: Cartoons, Confessions, Rejected Ideas and Secret Sketches from The New Yorker’s Joe Dator (2021)

Posted in Anteaters, Funny (ha ha), Joe Dator, Military, New Yorker, Religion, Set at School on January 1, 2023| Leave a Comment »

[READ: May 2022] Inked

I loved this book of cartoons from Joe Dator.  I can’t say that I recognize his style especially, but his cartoons did look very New Yorker to me.

Indeed, this book features dozens of comics.  It’s not always obvious which ones were accepted and which were rejected (although he does mention some that were rejected specifically).

He talks bout the state of mind of the New Yorker artists: On a very good week, they will buy one of your cartoons for publication.  Most weeks they will not buy one.  It’s a little bit like having a job at which every week you get fired then you have to go in next week to re-apply and hope you get hired back.

He has a few sections called Betwixt the Punchlines in which he explains the motivation behind a particular piece  (He says the one where the coffee maker says she’ll come back, she always comes back (while he’s using a French press) is from his own habit of buying gadgets but always returning to old faithful.

I rather enjoyed the picture of the army man with medals on his chest who say “Anytime I’ve even been asked ‘What do you want. a medal?’ I’ve said yes.”

He also talks bout his drawings of God.

God is about 7’1″ You might think that seems kind of small for the Supreme Being, but its just big enough to make the average mortal say “Wow, that’s a big guy.”  God knows people are easily impressed. (more…)

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Collectibles–edited by Lawrence Block (2021)

Posted in Alex Segura, Books about writers, Bookstores, Cars, David Rachels, Dennis Lehane, Dip-in Books, Elaine Kagan, Fleetwood Mac, Funny (ha ha), Funny (strange), Janice Eidus, Joe R. Lansdale, Joyce Carol Oates, Judas Priest, Kasey Lansdale, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, Lawrence Block, Lee Goldberg, Murder, Otto Penzler, Revenge, Rob Hart, S.A. Cosby, S.J. Rozan, Sex, Short Story, Supernatural, Superstitions, Surreal, Violence, Yuck! on November 30, 2022| Leave a Comment »

 

SOUNDTRACK: FLEETWOOD MAC-“The Green Manalishi (With the Two Pronged Crown)” (1969).

I know this song from Judas Priest, who made a killer cover that they played for years.  Rob Halford’s voice on the song (in their live version from 1976) is incredible.

I didn’t even know there was an “original” until a decade or so ago.  It seemed out of character that Judas Priest would cover a trippy Fleetwood Mac song (of course they also covered Joan Baez, so…).  But wow, this song is a trip.

I mean, the lyrics alone are the stuff of legend at this point.  There’s dozens of places where you can read about the song.  Here’s a few paragraphs from Uncle Stylus.

Peter Green said it’s a song about the corrupting influence of money, which he equated with the devil. In 1969, the huge success of Fleetwood Mac had brought them a considerable income and Green had agreed with the band that they would would give it all to charity. One can imagine that “morning after” moment when he demanded they made good on their idealistic rush of blood. A massive quarrel ensued, and Green never forgave the other bandmembers for reneging on the idea and claimed that this was what inspired the song.

Manalishi is a word that Peter Green made up for the song. The sound of it rolling around the tongue is exotic and menacing, suffused with the mystery of demons and gremlins from a medieval Italian dark night.

Listening now it’s clear that he was really, whether consciously or unconsciously, telling us about his depressive schizophrenia and even the dark persona unleashed within him when he took certain drugs, the “green” of the manalishi being Green himself. It reads like the beginning of a story by Edgar Allan Poe.

The Judas Priest cover doesn’t really follow the original all that much (the ending wailing is so much cooler the way Halford does it).  But the riff here is pretty spectacular (understandable why they’d want to cover it).  Also, it was a big hit in England when it came out, so it’s not like the band was crate-digging for rarities.  I had just never heard of it.

There is something some sinister about the slow menace of the Fleetwood Mac version.  It’s incredible to think that this is the same band who put out Rumours (although really it isn’t, but whatever).

Check out the live from Boston version for some real heaviness.  And marvel that this weird song was a hit.

[READ: November 2022] Collectibles

Evidently Lawrence Block has created several of these anthologies all loosely based around a theme.  This is the first one I’ve read, although I see another one called Playing Games is on the horizon.

This collection is about collectibles.  Most but not all of the stories are crime or mystery based.  A couple have a touch of the supernatural as well.  The term “collectible” is pretty broadly defined from one story to the next, but it’s a decent prompt to let you know what you’re getting.

Lawrence Block – The Elephant in the Living Room (An Introduction)
This is an essay about the book which includes an amusing story about Lawrence’s Uncle Jerry who ha a collection of giraffes.  There were presently none in the collection because he hadn’t found one up to his standards. (more…)

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Guster / Alex Edelman (Carnegie Hall, New York, NY, November 25, 2022) [DID NOT ATTEND]

Posted in Alex Edelman, Carnegie Hall, Funny (ha ha), Guster, New York City on November 25, 2022| Leave a Comment »

[DID NOT ATTEND: November 25, 2022] Guster / Alex Edelman

When we saw Guster at the Wellmont, they announced that they would be playing Carnegie Hall. Carnegie Hall!

We went on vacation and I grabbed tickets from a museum on vacation.

And then late November rolled around and we realized that it was the Friday after Thanksgiving.  BLACK FRIDAY.  There was no way in hell we were going to New York City on Black Friday.  I’m going to posit that this is something only someone from New Jersey would say.

So, we did not see Guster at Carnegie Hall.

Alex Edelman is a comedian.  I just watched a clip of one of his bits on Stephen Colbert and it was hilarious.  Must check him out more.  And, frankly, I think a comedian is a good opening act for certain bands.

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“Weird Al” Yankovic : The Unfortunate Return of the Ridiculously Self-Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour (Miller Theater, Kimmel Cultural Campus, Philadelphia, PA, October 28, 2022)

Posted in "Weird Al" Yankovic, Elton John, Emo Philips, Funny (ha ha), Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts, Miller Theater, Philadelphia, PA, Religion on October 31, 2022| Leave a Comment »

[ATTENDED: October 28, 2022] “Weird Al” Yankovic

This was my ninth time seeing Weird Al.  I’m shooting for ten.  We’ll see if he can muster up one more tour (why did I skip the Strings Attached tour)?

I was pretty thrilled by the first Ill-Advised Vanity Tour.  It was great seeing so many songs that rarely got played (amusingly, I had seen some of those songs on their original tours back in the early 2000s, which is pretty crazy.

I was hoping that this tour would be a whole new set of obscure old songs.  I thought that for this reprise–The Unfortunate Return of the Ridiculously Self-Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour–he might pull out “Buckingham Blues” for the Queen’s death or something really odd like “Slime Creatures from Outer Space” or holy cow, “Genius in France” would have blown my mind.

I see that he actually played a largely different set in NYC (which I considered going to, but decided against).   Including “I’ll Sue Ya” (not a favorite, but I haven’t heard it before) and “Velvet Elvis (talk about an obscurity!).  But he also did the two songs that I would LOVE to hear live….and it might have been worth the hassle of Carnegie Hall just to hear “Nature Trail to Hell” and “Albuquerque.”

Having laid out that complaint, we did get four songs I hadn’t heard live before including a wonderful “Don’t Download This Song” and the sheer surprise of “Buy Me a Condo.”  And this new, improved, extended version of “Craigslist” was outstanding.

I will never complain about hearing “The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota”–and the crowd was really into it.

Of course, any “Weird Al” show is a good time.  Al gave amusing introductions to all of the songs and even did an amusing “encore” bt where he stood at the side of the stage checking his phone and then arguing with the band about whether they were going to do an encore or not.

The encore was worth the price of admission.  He did a (straight and fantastic) cover of Elton John’s “Saturday’s Alright for Fighting.”  And the closing medley of songs in very different styles was outstanding.  I especially enjoyed that someone in the audience was able to do the Yoda chant dance. (more…)

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Emo Philips (Miller Theater, Kimmel Cultural Campus, Philadelphia, PA, October 28, 2022) [“WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC]

Posted in "Weird Al" Yankovic, Emo Philips, Funny (ha ha), Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts, Miller Theater, Philadelphia, PA, Religion on October 30, 2022| Leave a Comment »

[ATTENDED: October 28, 2022] Emo Philips

I saw Emo Philips open for Al four years ago.  I rather enjoyed his set.  As I said:

Emo’s comedy is really dark but–delivered in his bizarre manner that goes somehow beyond deadpan–it makes his jokes really hilarious

I wasn’t sure if I needed to see his set again–I wasn’t sure how different it would be.  And so, coupled with a Phillies game, it being a Friday night and it taking place in the center of Philadelphia, I rather assumed I’d be late and miss some or all of his set.

I arrived at the show at a little after 8 and by the time I got to my seat I guess I missed about half of his set.

(more…)

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“Weird Al” Yankovic / Emo Phillips (Carnegie Hall, New York, NY, October 29, 2022) [DID NOT ATTEND]

Posted in "Weird Al" Yankovic, Carnegie Hall, Emo Philips, Funny (ha ha), New York City on October 29, 2022| Leave a Comment »

[DID NOT ATTEND: October 29, 2022] “Weird Al” Yankovic / Emo Phillips

I did not see this show when it was in Wilkes Barre in May.  However, I did see this show last night

And it was awesome of course.

I secretly loved the idea of seeing “Weird Al” at Carnegie Hall.  There’s just something wonderful about that.

But, having just seen the show in Philly and knowing that getting to Carnegie Hall is just a huge pain in the butt for me, I didn’t even bother getting tickets.

Which is fine.

I love the idea that I could have seen him three times in a year, especially since this tour doesn’t have as much repeating as his full scale tours do.

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Lindsay Buroker–Battle Bond [Death Before Dragons #2] (2020) [audiobook 2020]

Posted in Adventure, Audiobooks, Death, Dragons, Fantasy, Funny (ha ha), Lindsay Buroker, Magic, Morality, Murder, Supernatural, Tigers, Urban fantasy, Vampires, Violence, Vivienne Leheny, Werewolves on September 4, 2022| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: September 2023] Battle Bond

I had listened to a couple of different Buroker stories before getting to this second book in this series.

But as soon I started this one, Vivienne Leheny’s narration dragged me back in.  I could listen to just about anything she reads.

So this book picks up where the previous one left off.  Val Thorvald is a 40 -something elf/human assassin.  The elf part helps her heal faster than humans, but she is just as flawed as any other human (some critics say far more flawed).  She is still driving the government loaner Jeep that she requisitioned after Zav (before she got to know him) threw her old Jeep into the upper branches of a very tall tree.

Val has an ex-husband and daughter.  She has left them so that they will be safe.  Her ex-husband kind of understands, but her daughter doesn’t want anything to do with her.  This gives her much angst.

Val has no real friends, so she relies on her magical tiger companion, Sindari, for companionship and some great banter (he knows what’s what).  She “won” Sindari in a battle.  I enjoyed that she is ethically conflicted about “owning” a tiger, but Sindari seems to like her, so I guess it’s okay.  Sindari lives in some other realm but comes when she calls him through a magical charm.

Most of the other characters have returned: Val’s mom is a cool hippie (who once married an elf) with a dog and a guy who lives in a trailer on her property.  That would be Dimitri, a large, imposing dude who make delicate wood works (which can also be used as defensive weapons).  There’s also Zultan a vampire with a massive YouTube presence.  And then there’s Nin, a woman who runs a small food truck and makes magical weapons in her spare time. She’s awesome.  And Val’s boss Willard is still around, providing sage wisdom, hi tech help and other good things.  Willard is still recovering from the magical cancer that the dark elves infected her with.

But this story focuses on dragons.

A dragon, Dob, has come to Earth to harass Zav.   It turns out there’s a power struggle on the home world and Zav’s family has been in charge of things for a long time.  This dragon hopes to prove that Zav is not behaving according to dragon standards.  He is also underhanded and violent–unafraid to harm anyone.  He has kidnapped children. And hikers.  By the middle of the book he has taken over a large but remote area of the wilderness.

The politics of Zav’s homeworld are unfolding in  the story and more will clearly be revealed as the stories progress.  It’s good that Buroker doesn’t throw a ton of world building at us, but gives us glimpses of things.

There are dark elves causing trouble in this book as well.  This involves Nin.  They say that her weapons are encroaching on her business.  Translation: her weapons are much better than theirs but there are more of them to bully an independent woman.  Val helps her.  The discussion of payment is pretty hilarious with Val not wanting to take money but Nin, being a businesswoman, insisting on paying something (which turns out to be food).

The relationship between Val and Zav is expanding (I wish I didn’t accidentally hear a spoiler when I listened to another series) and the humor between them is getting much funnier.  Zav brought Val a poster of himself for Val to practice her axe throwing and Val continues to try to teach him contemporary slang–I love the way Leheny deals with these section–her inflections are perfect.

There’s some really cool moments in the story as well–Val rescuing the children in an abandoned building.  Val and her friends getting stuck under a house of evil cat-shifting humans.  They are memorable and you can really visualize the scenes.

The ending of the story is pretty dramatic.  Val winds up crossing a line (in Zav’s mind) and it instantly puts friction between them.  And what she has done puts her own life in danger.

Buroker must spend all of her time writing as all of these items have come out in roughly the last fifteen years.  I’m not going to listen to everything she’s written I don’t think, but here’s what I’ve started.

Death Before Dragons
almost all written in 2020!

  • Mist and Magic — Book 0.5
  • Sinister Magic — Book 1
  • Battle Bond — Book 2
  • Tangled Truths — Book 3
  • Elven Doom — Book 4
  • The Forbidden Ground — Book 4.5
  • False Security — Book 5
  • Storm Forged — Book 6
  • The Box — Book 6.5
  • Secrets of the Sword I – Book 7
  • Secrets of the Sword II – Book 8
  • Gifts — Book 8.5
  • Secrets of the Sword III – Book 9

 

 Legacy of Magic
1-3 written in 2022, the rest in 2023
this is a spinoff series set
in Death Before Dragons world.
It features a new heroine with a new mystery
and threat that she must deal with, but
it also brings back some of the
characters from the original series.

  • Hammered — Book 1
  • Betrayed — Book 2
  • Trolled — Book 3
  • Tested — Book 4
  • Wrenched — Book 5
  • Fused — Book 6
  • Legacy of Magic Short Stories — Newsletter bonus
  • Wanted — Book 7
  • Cursed — Book 8
 Tracking Trouble
2023-2024 (#5 not out yet)
Another urban fantasy series set in my Death Before Dragons and Legacy of Magic world!

  • Marked by Magic — Book 1
  • Bound by Blood — Book 2
  • Driven by Destiny — Book 3
  • A Goblin Christmas — Book 3.5
  • Pursued by Peril — Book 4
  • Tested by Temptation — Book 5

 

Key to this Linday Buroker audio-verse
Red means I’ve listened to it
Green means I’ve downloaded it
Blue means it’s available on Chirp
Black means it’s not available or is a short book

Dragon Gate
2021-2022
(these books are HUGE)

  • Kingdoms at War — Book 1
  • Art of the Hunt — Book 2
  • Broken by Magic — Book 3
  • Chosen for Power — Book 4
  • Sky on Fire — Book 5
  • Orbs of Wisdom — Book 6

 

 A Witch in Wolf Wood
2021-2022
Set in the made-up town of Bellrock, Washington
bookish introvert heroines and surly werewolf heroes.

  • Mind Over Magic — Book 1
  • Spell Hound — Book 2
  • Any Witch Way — Book 3
  • Hoot and Howler — Book 3.5
  • Moment of Tooth — Book 4
  • Charmed and Dangerous — Book 5
 Agents of the Crown
2018

  • Eye of Truth–— Book 1
  • Blood Ties — Book 2
  • Duty Bound — Book 3
  • Elven Fury — Book 4
  • Dragon Tear — Book 5

Haven’t decided on these series yet

Swords & Salt [3]
2013

  • A Question of Honor— Book 1
  • Labyrinths of the Heart— Book 2
  • Death from Below— Book 3
 Chains of Honor [4]
2015
You may want to start with the Chains of Honor Prequels,
three novellas that were originally published as the Swords & Salt series.

  • Warrior Mage — Book 1
  • Snake Heart — Book 2
  • Assassin’s Bond — Book 3
  • Great Chief — Book 4

she also has these series:

The Emperor’s Edge Series (9 primary works).

Forgotten Ages /Encrypted series, set in the same world, approximately eighteen years earlier.  (2 primary works)  PLUS:

  • Swords & Salt series, set in the same world, after the events of EE.
  • Chains of Honor series , set in the same world (Nurian Empire)

also

Dragon Blood Series  (8 primary works)

Heritage of Power (5 primary works) is a sequel a few years after this series

AND THESE SCI-FI SERIES

Fallen Empire Series (8 primary works) SCI-FI

  • Fractured Stars Series (1 book, three stories) stand alone but in this same world

Sky Full of Stars (3 primary works)  sequel

Fallen Empire Universe Series (13 books for kindle only) same world

also

Star Kingdom Series (10 primary works) SCI-FI

AND THESE STEAMPUNK SERIES

Flash Gold Chronicles Series (5 novellas)

AND THIS SERIES TOO

Rust & Relics Series (2.5 books)

 

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Terry Pratchett–The Last Hero : A Discworld Fable (2001) [Discworld #27] [Rincewind/Wizards #7]

Posted in Anachronisms, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Death, Discworld, Funny (ha ha), Hex, Josh Kirby, Leonard of Quirm, Magic, Mustrum Ridcully, Ponder Stibbons, Rincewind, Terry Pratchett, The Bursar, The Chair of Indefinite Studies, The Dean, The Lecturer in Recent Runes, The Librarian, The Senior Wrangler, Wizards, Wizards on June 7, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: March 2022] The Last Hero

The Last Hero is a Discworld illustrated short story or fable .  Really what that means is that there’s only one main plot line since most Discworld stories have multiple plots that interweave and then come together.  So it doesn’t really feel short because a full adventure happens–just without all of the ancillary characters.

And, perhaps most striking for any Discworld book is that this one is fully illustrated by Paul Kidby.  Only every other page is full text. The rest are half picture or full picture.  But the pictures are also very deatiled and will keep you busy for a while.  This particualr version has 16 all new pages of illustrations.

The Last Hero is Cohen the Barbarian.  We last saw him in Interesting Times when he became the Emperor of the Agatean Empire.  But, well, being in charge of things is kind of boring.  And, frankly, it’s no way for a hero to go out.  When one of the Silver Horde died by choking on a concubine–I think you mean cucumber– Cohen decides they need a plan.  So he gathers the rest of the Silver Horde for one last adventure.

The very first hero, “Fingers” Mazda, stole fire from the gods and gave it to mankind (analogous to Prometheus), and was chained to a rock to be torn open daily by a giant eagle as punishment.  Cohen’s plan is to give the fire back–in the form of a giant explosive packed into a large sled filled with explosive Agatean Thunder Clay. They plan to blow up the gods at their mountain home, Cori Celesti. (more…)

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