[ATTENDED: October 28, 2022] Emo Philips
I saw Emo Philips open for Al four years ago. I rather enjoyed his set. As I said:
Emo’s comedy is really dark but–delivered in his bizarre manner that goes somehow beyond deadpan–it makes his jokes really hilarious
I wasn’t sure if I needed to see his set again–I wasn’t sure how different it would be. And so, coupled with a Phillies game, it being a Friday night and it taking place in the center of Philadelphia, I rather assumed I’d be late and miss some or all of his set.
I arrived at the show at a little after 8 and by the time I got to my seat I guess I missed about half of his set.
It seemed like the jokes that he told were new, although the set up was kind of the same. He had a folder of “greeting cards” that he had made up. I recognized a couple of jokes but didn’t recognize some others. Although I didn’t remember this one, but I see that he said it last time.
A Mormon told me that they don’t drink coffee. I said, “A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits.” He said, “Like what?” I said, “Well, it keeps you from being Mormon …”
He covers a surprisingly wide range of topics overall–there was a bunch about religion, dating, and his twisted childhood .
The set up to this one was a little different although the punchline was the same:
Last time:
On my 7th birthday, I had a cake and my parents told me to blow out the candles and make a wish. I did and they asked what I wished for. I said I wished that you would stop beating me. They said, aw… you said it out loud.
This time.
I had a birthday once. My father told me to blow out the candles and make a wish. I did and he asked what I wished for. I said I wished that you would stop beating me. He said, aw… you said it out loud.
He segued into that with one of his greeting cards. When he asked if it was anybody’s birthday, he had a greeting card for him.
His birthday card: You’re one year older. Let’s see you find a way to blame that on the Jews. His wedding card was even funnier:
Turns out a lot of the jokes were old (some very old), but they were all new to me. For a nice collection of his one liners, click here.
I liked this one. Saying to a guy who was going to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge: He told him not to jump. To have faith. I said, “Of course there’s a God. Do you think that billions of years ago a bunch of molecules floating around at random could someday have had the sense of humor to make you look like that?”
He had this set up too which works much better as a verbal joke than a written one, but still….
I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”
He said, “A Christian.”
I said, “Me too. Protestant or Catholic?”
He said, “Protestant.”
I said, “Me too! What franchise?”
He says, “Baptist.”
I said, “Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”
He says, “Northern Baptist.”
I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He says, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”
I say, “Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?”
He says, “Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist.”
I say, “Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?”
He says, “Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region.”
I say, “Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”
He says, “Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”
I said, “Die, heretic!”
I really enjoyed his set last time as it was all new to me. I enjoyed the parts I saw this time, although it wasn’t terrible that I was a little late. I would like to hear more of his (other) stand up though, as his delivery is unique and really quite funny.
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