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McSweeney’s #39 (2012)

Posted in Art, Avery Lee, Benjamin Cohen, Casablanca, Culture Shock, David-Ivar Herman Düne, Death, Decadence, Dicky Murphy, Drugs, E.C. Osondu, Elizabeth Sankey, Elmore Leonard, Essays, Funny (ha ha), Greed, Harry Potter, Jennie Erin Smith, Jess Walter, Julie Hecht, Letters, Marco Kaye, Marriage Trouble, McSweeney's, Nostalgia, Roberto Bolaño, Settlers of Catan, Short Story, St. Vincent, Stephen Elliott, Tabitha Soren, Tom Barbash, Václav Havel, Violence, Yannick Murphy on July 26, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: ST. VINCENT-Actor (2009).

I had seen St Vincent on Austin City Limits, and her juxtaposition of waif-singer with noise mongering guitar player blew me away.  So I was a little disappointed when this album opened up with this gentle, practically 1950s sounding vocal and string line in “The Strangers.”  It takes two and a half minutes, but the noise eventually comes and it totally changes the texture of the song.  Of course now, “make the black hole blacker” is a fun thing to sing along with (and the lyrics in general are pretty great).  “Save Me from What I Want” is another quiet song with a catchy chorus.  “The Neighbors” has a great melody with interesting strings over the top of it.  “Actor Out of Work” brings in some stranger sounds to the album.

There’s something interesting about the songs on this album, like the way “Black Rainbow” has these sweet string sections but for the end half builds a crescendo of tension. I also love that a seemingly delicate song can be called “Laughing with a Mouth of Blood.”  Perhaps the strangest song on the disc is “Marrow” which has a strange horn section and the chorus: “H.  E.  L.  P.  Help Me Help Me.”  “The Bed,” “The Party” and “Just the Same But Brand New” continue in this vein–like a Disney princess song with a horrible threat underneath: “Don’t Mooooove, Don’t Screeeam.”  But that sense of princess who are slightly askew really resonates on this record.  It’s not as willfully dissonant as her first record, but lyrically it’s a knife covered in cotton candy, it’s still a gem.

[READ: March 20, 2012] McSweeney’s #39

One of the bad things about having a job with actual work is not being able to write complex posts about compilation books.  It’s hard to have your book open while bosses walk by.  So, its been a while since I read this and I’ll do my best to remember it all.  Incidentally, if you’re keeping track I skipped 38, but I’ll get to it.

Issue #39 is a hardcover and a pretty one at that. It has a front cover photo (as well as many interior photos) taken by Tabitha Soren.  Yes, forty-somethings, THAT Tabitha Soren, from MTV who has a new career as a photographer.

This issue continues with the recent return of the Letters column (as the magazine and front matter become more serious the return of the Letters adds an air of silliness). (more…)

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Kurt Vonnegut–Canary in a Cat House (1961)

Posted in Adventure, Cancer as plot device, Communists, Consumerism, Culture Shock, Death, Decadence, Drugs, Fears, Funny (ha ha), Kurt Vonnegut, Marriage (Happy), Marriage Trouble, Military, Regina Spektor, Sci-fi, Short Story, Supernatural, The Future, Tori Amos, War on July 17, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: REGINA SPEKTOR-Soviet Kitsch (2004).

After the poppy, polished joy of Far, I went back and decided to check out the one other Regina Spektor album I knew of–Soviet Kitsch.  This album has always stuck with me as an interesting title.  I ordered it from Amazon and was bummed to get a little cardboard sleeve rather than an entire disc (her artwork is really nice).  So I was a little biased against this disc from the start.  The music also doesn’t have any of the polish and sleekness of Far.  So it took a while for me to see the beauty within.

This album is largely simple piano (with strings and other addition), but it’s a much more raw album (akin to something like Tori Amos’ Little Earthquakes).

“Ode to Divorce” is a quiet piano song with some catchy moments.  “Poor Little Rich Boy” has some interesting percussion to accompany the piano.  And in this song you know that she’s in a slightly different territory than Tori Amos, which is good–the feeling is similar but the end result is unique.  Lyrically the album explores different ideas and on this song the repeated refrain of “you’re so young you’re so god damn young” is a little unsettling.  “Carbon Monoxide” introduces a more full sound (bass and drums).  And Regina shows off yet another side of her personality–playful, flirtatious and now almost childish (“C’mon, daddy.”)

“The Flowers” introduces another new aspect to the disc–more aggressive/borderline classical piano playing (rapid, loud notes).  It suits her style quite well and this song is  a definite highlight.  The end of the song has a very Russian-style nonsense syllable sing along which is very fun.   “Us” adds strings to the song and some great sing along parts.  “Sailor Song” is a funny song from a sailors perspective with the sing-along shanty chorus “Mary Anne’s a bitch” (complete with broken glass sounds).

The next song “****” is a whispered little conversation in which a young girl asks Regina when the next song is coming.  It makes the next song, “Your Honor” even more loud.  It really stands out on this disc because it is a full on punk song with screamed vocals and band work from Kill Kenada (who I don’t know anything about).  The song is about getting in a fight to defend a woman’s honor.  The slow piano middle section features the amusing question “gargle with peroxide a steak for your eye but I’m a vegetarian so it’s a frozen pizza pie…you fight for my honor but I just don’t know why.:”

“Ghost of Corporate Future” has a kind of lullaby feel and some amusing lyrics, ” When he gets to the crowded subway platform/He takes off both of his shoes/He steps right into somebody’s fat loogie/And everyone who sees him says “ew”/Everyone who sees him says “ew”/But he doesn’t care/Cause last night he got a visit/From the ghost of corporate future/The ghost said take off both your shoes/Whatever chances you get/Especially when they’re wet.”  It’s all sung in a manic style over a quiet piano melody.

“Chemo Limo” is certainly the highlight of the disc.  It’s 6 minutes long and is quite dramatic.  The basic premise is that dying from cancer sucks, so she’s going to live instead: “I couldn’t afford chemo like I couldn’t afford a limo/And on any given day I’d rather ride a limousine.”  There are several sections in the song–allowing Regina to show off her dynamic and dramatic vocal range (serious falsettos) and very impassioned sections, “Oh my God Barbara she looks just like my mom”  She even does some (very mild) beatboxing at the end of the song.  “Somedays” is a pretty, simple ballad, with some great vocals although it kind of gets lost at the end of the disc.  Although I was not that into this record when I first got it, repeated listens revealed wonderful surprises inside.

[READ: July 15, 2012] Canary in a Cat House

This is Kurt Vonnegut’s first collection of short stories.  It is currently out of print.  That’s not a big deal because almost all of the stories were later collected in Welcome to the Monkeyhouse.  But I thought it would be fun to read them in the original book.  When it came in from the library I was surprised at how tiny it was.  But what was really surprising was how small the print and how small the margins were.  They really crammed stories into collections back then!

These stories were all written in the 1950s and what was also surprising to me was how serious and unfunny some of those first stories were.  I realize that these were some of his first works, but the Vonnegut voice is so distinctive–a misanthropy tempered by jokes and absurdity, that I was surprised that some of these stories were not only serious but seriously emotional as well.  It’s been clear from all of his stories that WWII impacted his life tremendously (as one would expect), but in these early stories he talks very deliberately about violence and the cold war and the aftermath of WWII.  It’s pretty intense.  By the end of the book the more typical Vonnegut voice surfaces–sci-fi kinds of stories with dark humor involved.  It’s quite a collection. (more…)

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Lucky Peach #4 (American Food: Summer 2012)

Posted in Andy Warhol, Animals, Anthony Bourdain, Chumbawamba, David Chang, Diner, Drinking, Drugs, Essays, Food, Funny (ha ha), Harold McGee, Lucky Peach, Steve Keene, The Treatment, Yuck! on July 14, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: CHUMBAWAMBA-“That’s How Grateful We Are” (1990).

Chumbawamba called it quits this week after 30 years of being a band together.  Most people assume they put out one single and that’s all. And in some ways that is true.  Because most of their other music was way too radical to be played anywhere–even when it was as catchy as this.

This is a six-minute dance-funk song off of the first Chumbawamba album I ever heard (Slap!).  It opens with a little girl saying “Okay, lay some drums on me.”  After some drums and hammered percussion, she says, “gimme some bass” and a funky riff starts.  It’s followed with accordion, horns guitars and, Chumbawamba’s signature–chanting.

It’s a call and response song with a wonderfully catchy chanted chorus.

On first listen you might catch a few unexpected words (black lung, attack, attack, we took to the streets).  But then you get swept up in the chorus again (and maybe the accordion solo).  But on further inspection, the song is about the Hungarian Revolution of 1956:

Working in a forge, black lungs, burnt skin
Callouses, arched back, hammering, hammering
Stalin watching over us pigeon shit head
We’d spit on the floor at this red bastard god.

Not exactly pop music, but you can sure dance to it.  I haven’t listened to too much of their more recent music, but their early stuff is wonderful and worth looking for.  Thanks for the music lads and lassies.

[READ: July 2012] Lucky Peach Issue 4

I can’t get over how much I enjoy Lucky Peach.  I just loaned a past issue to a friend and he loved it too.  He’s looking forward to trying some recipes and he’s been fascinated by the articles, too.  I don’t read any other cooking type magazine, and yet I can’t get enough of this one!

DAVID CHANG & CHRIS YING are still on board with their note “From the Editors” and PETER MEEHAN, JONATHAN GOLD & ROBERT SIETSEMA talk about “American Cuisine, Whatever That Is”

This issue features a choose your own adventure from COURTNEY McBROOM AND ALISON ROMAN–“Voyage of the Taco Belles” in which they travel to Texas and California to compare “Mexican” food.  It’s a fun adventure with many pitfalls and many delicious locations.  No one could conceivably eat that much.

DREW ALTIZER-“Swan Oyster Depot” photos from the independent seller.

DAVID TREUER-“No Reservations” gives a fascinating history of the Objiwe peoples.  How they don’t have a cuisine per se, but they do have specific foods they eat.  Also, that their way of life was not decimated when the white man came because they did not eat bison, they ate from the water and from smaller animals.  But when the white man gave them fatty fried foods, their diet was changed for the worst.  A fascinating look and an unexpected content from a “food” magazine.

PETER MEEHAN, BRIAN KOPPELMAN, ANTHONY BOURDAIN and ELVIS MITCHELL all talk about the movie Diner.  I have never seen it, but it sounds pretty important in a certain range of cinema.  I liked hearing their various opinions of the movie.  Elvis Mitchell (from NPR’s The Treatment) is particularly funny.

TOM LAX-“The Schmitter” talks about The Schmitter a crazy sounding sandwich from Philadelphia that should give the cheese steak a run for its money.  (Cheese, Steak, Grilled Salami, “Special” sauce, Tomatoes, More Cheese and Friend Onions).  Yum!

HAROLD McGEE-“Harold McGee in Outré Space”–He’s back with a lengthy article on eggs and his attempts at peeling hard-boiled eggs without ripping the egg inside–his experiments are pretty out there!

BEN WOLFE–“American Microbial Terroir” How microbes and bacterium form on salami in different regions and how those bacteria inform the flavor of the meat.  Gross but very interesting.

STEVE KEENE-“Portfolio”  He did the cover for Pavement’s Wowee Zowee album and here has a new portfolio of his new style of painting–on plywood.

DANIEL PATTERSON-“We Waited as Long as We Could” He talks about the Rascal House, a restaurant that he went to as young kid with his grandfather.  It’s about the demise of this kind of establishment in general too.

BOB NICKAS-“Someone Has to Bring Home the Bacon” Nickas looks at Andy Warhol and his various accomplishments regarding foot (including the aborted Andymat)

JOHN GALL-“Defrosted Foods” a photo of defrosted foods

NOZLEE SAMASZADEH-“A Modest Proposal”  This clever article talks about eating foods and plants that we consider invasive.  The best idea is to sell back the Asian carp to the Chinese–they love it and we don’t eat it, meanwhile it is invading our waterways.  Seems we could get back all the money they owe us!  Plus, why not eat Nutria?

MATTHEW RUDOFKER-“Knives Out” Look at these amazing knives (that I will never buy).

JONATHAN PRINCE-“Photo-Op Food” A very funny article about politicians trying (and often failing) to blend into regions by eating “local” food.  And the funny photo-ops they often provide.

MARC MARON-“Pan-American” The tale of a used cast iron frying pan and the story behind it.

DOUGLAS WOLK-“Love, Love, and ALE-8 One” This is the story of an independent locally created soda.  It’s based in Winchester, KY and serves more or less the Winchester area.  The soda is in huge demand there.  It’s the story of a brief but failed expansion and a determined independent spirit.  Check out their site and stuff.

DAVID SIMON-“Pickles and Cream” appreciating the only contribution Simon’s grandfather ever made to the culinary arts.

LAUREN WEINSTEIN-“Sushi, USA” a comic about sushi.

MARK IBOLD is still on board (hurray!) bringing culinary fun from Southeastern PA.  This time: John Cope’s Fancy Golden Sweet Corn.

There’s of course lots of delicious (and sometime crazy) recipes written in their own wonderful somewhat disrespectful style.

Oh, and just to put your mind at ease, the picture on the cover is of a cow eating a veggie dog.  Even knowing that it’s still disturbing.

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Ben Lerner–“The Golden Vanity” (New Yorker, June 18, 2012)

Posted in Ben Lerner, Books about writers, Drinking, Drugs, Fears, New Yorker, Nirvana, Thou, Unreliable narrator on July 1, 2012| 1 Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: THOU-“Something in the Way” (2011).

Sometimes you hear a  cover version and you really don’t know what to think.  Maybe you hate it from the very beginning.  And then maybe it does something and you kind of hate it a little more.  And then suddenly it turns the corner and who knows what they’re doing.

This song opens almost ponderously slowly.  I guess it’s not that much different from the original , but it feels so really slow.  And then, when they get to the “something in the way” part, the band kicks in with really heavy squalling feedback and cookie monster vocals shouting “Something in the Way.”  And I kind of didn’t like anything.  But then came the surprise.  the “oooh” part was sung very straight and melodically.  The song reverts back to the original slow vocals section and you realize that the singer sounds an awful lot like Cobain himself. And the second time when the chorus comes in, you expect it and while you may not like the cookie monster vocals, the juxtaposition to the sweet “oohs” is strangely cathartic.

Not for everyone by a long shot, but very interesting nonetheless, especially the way the feedback squalls and wheedles.

Thou has done a number of Nirvana covers evidently.  There’s a cover of “Anuerysm” in this live show (in which they acknowledge that the fans aren’t there to see them).  The music is spot on, but man, those vocals are hard to handle.

[READ: June 29, 2012] “The Golden Vanity”

As yesterday’s story was about “the husband,” today’s story is about “the author” (have short story writers run out of names?).  The author has just written a very successful book in which the main character tries very hard not to be nervous in social situations.  The author himself gets nervous in social situations.  When people know he wrote the book they scrutinize him to see if he gets awkward in social situations…which makes him more awkward…etc.  It’s a pretty funny concept.

The opening section has the author meeting the librarian.  He’s put in an awkward situation because his hands are full when she waves.  So he gets emabrassed and scowls.  Then he thinks she assumes he is scowling at her.  He gets through the encounter with advice from his shrink.

The next scene jumps quickly (I wonder what happened to the librarian) to his medical condition.  The author has to have his wisdome teeth out.  He spends a lot of the story wondering is he should have a local or a twilight anesthetic (which costs $3,000 more and calls for an I.V.). He wonders aloud a lot to his friend Liza, who tolerates his neuroses and enjoys talking about them, even though she says things like “We’re not talking about this again.”

The evening before the surgery (he of course chose the I.V.) he went on a date.  Well, not really a date (he liked to say that), but friends going out together with a single woman there to meet him.  Naturally this made him nervous too.  But he and Hannah hit it off (lots of drinks helped).

There’s a whole section devoted to waiting room art which I appreciated quite a bit.  Who decies what to buy?  It’s not like the doctors would come out and look on it and admire it, right?  This sort of melds with a discussion about the preserved letters of famous writers.  Do libraries buy emails?  Do they buy the letters of young writers as a security upon further greateness?  These ideas are pretty theoretical yet the way it is written keeps it inetersting. (more…)

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Paul La Farge–“Another Life” (New Yorker, July 2, 2012)

Posted in All Songs Considered, Drinking, Drugs, Marriage Trouble, New Yorker, Paul La Farge, Sex, Short Story, Unreliable narrator on June 29, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: EAST OF THE WALL-“False Build” (2011).

Viking picked this song back in September of 2011 as his song of the week (or however often he posted then).  I’d never heard of East of the Wall, despite their New Jersey pedigree.  (I know I don’t know every band from New jersey, but usually by the time a band has three records out I’ve at least heard of them).

This song is just over five minutes long and the vocals don’t come in until about three an a half minutes.  By the time the vocals come in, we’ve had three or four different stylistic changes.  And, by  the time the vocals have been with us for a minute it’s possible that there are four vocalists in the band.

It opens with some clean guitars playing an open (but slightly off) chord progression.  Over that comes a slightly distorted guitar and a bass playing mostly the same notes but just enough to be notably different.  Then add some drums so the song is builds very nicely.  The solo gets more and more complicated and when the drums rumble in for a climactic progression…the songs shifts into a kind of loud heavy rock/almost funk.  A new more angular solo plays over the funk riffs and it all works wonderfully.  Then the song becomes a rapid fire snare drum metal song and that’s where the vocals kick in.  I assume this is all one vocalist but who knows.  For the sake of argument I’ll pretend they are all different.

The first vocalist is a screamer–hard to understand but fitting in perfectly with the now heavy riffs.  He doesn’t say much before the second vocalist comes in.  This section of the music is mellow and kind of prog rocky and the vocalist fist perfectly–actually crooning along with the melody.  Until vocalist three comes in with a kind of cookie monster vocal which is interspersed with a different cookie monster vocalist.  By the quarter to 5 moment the first vocalist comes back, and there’s more screaming until the song ends.  It’s chaotic and cool and keeps you on the edge of your seat.  I wonder what they’re singing about.

Wow.  If I’m this exhausted writing about it, imagine how they must feel playing it.  I’m going to have to check out more from them.

[READ: June 28, 2012] “Another Life”

This story is disconcerting in that the first paragraph is a page and a half long.  And it works very well stylistically.  The whole first paragraph concerns a man (the husband) as he returns from a party for father-in-law.  He’d rather not have gone to at all, but since he is also sick and on medication, he takes the opportunity to leave early.  He arrives back at the hotel and sits down to read Rousseau’s Discourse on the Origin of Inequality.  (Holy crap!).  He can’t focus on the book so he decides to go down to the hotel bar (with the book) just to mix things up.

There are a few people in the room, but he sits alone at the bar.  The bartender (whose name is later revealed to be April P) is very nice and chats as she serves him.  She sees his book and asks what he’s reading.  He’s a bit embarrassed, because she’s never heard of Rousseau.  But she says that she reads everything and her favorite is Emily Dickinson.  He is thrown by her choice of authors and by the fact that he can’t think of anything clever to say about Dickinson.  He fumbles a bit.  She remains nice but is clearly unimpressed. (more…)

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A.J. Jacobs–Drop Dead Healthy: One Man’s Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection (2012)

Posted in A.J. Jacobs, Advice, Beer, Death, Depression, Disease, Dream Theater, Drinking, Drugs, Essays, Fears, Food, Funny (ha ha), King's X, Rush, Sex, The Great Gamble, Toilets, Work, Yuck! on May 30, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: THE GREAT GAMBLE-Book One (2012).

My friend Matt has worked at a school in Pennsylvania for years. He wrote to tell me that a few kids who graduated from his school had formed a band and have released a CD.  It’s streaming (and downloadable) on bandcamp at their site.

I have lots of friends in bands, and I’ve listened to lots of demos, so I wasn’t expecting very much.  But the first thing I noticed when I listened was how good this sounds–professional and, yes, like a “real” album.  This isn’t just a bunch of guys jamming in their garage.  What makes this even more striking is that the music is heavy progressive metal–not something you just whip out in a quick take.  This is complicated, interesting music.  I’m hearing a kind of Dream Theater meets King’s X vibe going on.  And man, it’s really good.

This is multi-step heavy rock (complete with a synth player/violinist!). The only song that is less than 9 minutes is the 90 second introduction called “The Marketplace.”  Otherwise, we’ve got three songs over ten minutes and one over 16!  Who even knew young bands did stuff like this anymore?

Al Joseph plays lead guitar and sings lead vocals.  His guitar speed is very impressive and his vocals sound not unlike Dug Pinnick from King’s X (noticeable on the opening track, especially) .  Matt Weaver plays violin and keyboards.  The keyboards offer more than just a fuller sound.  On “Release the Kraken” they provide some cool sci-fi sound effects.  At about five minutes in, “Release the Kraken” slows down to a quiet middle section that really showcases Steve Michael’s drums.  And then comes the blistering guitar solo.  It’s followed quickly but a slight diversion and then a wholly different style of solo.  It’s really something.

If “Release the Kraken” wasn’t a good enough prog rock title, how bout “Legends of the Symmetria.”  This one has a very Dream Theater feel for the opening.  But the vocals sound very different–dual vocals with great low harmony.  There’s a cool pre-chorus (I guess) at about 3 minutes.  This song is definitely a heavy one.  At about 4 minutes, the song slows down into a pretty classical guitar section,where Chris Joseph on plays bass gets to show off a bit (although he seems to be the most understated of the 4 players).  There’s some great drumming at the end of the song, too.

“The Ghost of Three Reflections” is a slow builder of a song.  There’s some quiet parts (with beautiful harmonies) and a guitar solo that sounds clear and perfect (I’m hyping the production so much because it sounds so good).  The guitar solo section in this one strikes me as something that might suit two guitarists better–maybe two more different styles of soloing, but he pulls it off well, especially when by the end, he has shifted to a very different style, and the music changes along with it).  I love the bass section at the 8 minute mark, which reminds me of something Rush might have done back in the mid 70s.  The song kind of merges into “Breach At Fort Mycenae” which opens with the same kind of staggered sound as the end of the previous song.  The violin gets an airing in the middle of this song and it’s a cool treat.  I could definitely use more violin in these songs, although maybe little bits are a treat.  There’s a few times when I don’t like the production choices–maybe there needs to be a bit more music behind some of these solos so it doesn’t just sound like two players soloing against each other.

The disc ends with the big one, the sixteen minute, “The Sleepwalker Pt. 1 – Tears of Dagon” [I love that it’s a Part One and it’s 16 minutes long].  When the vocals kick in at about 3 minutes, the harmonies are gorgeous.  I love the bass guitar break at 5 minutes.  Although there’s something about the keyboard sound that I don’t like–maybe they’re not big enough?  But I love the crazy guitar solo at the 9 minute mark of this track (I’m a sucker for dissonant scales).

This is an amazing debut CD and I hope these guys go far (they’re going from Scranton to Boston for school, but I hope they can go further than that).  They are tight as a drum, stopping and starting perfectly, keeping all of the rhythms and time changes perfectly.  They really have done their prog rock homework.  The only gripe is as I’ve said, some sections don’t feel “big” enough.  If you’re going to write a 16 minute song, you don’t want sections that sound small–you want your backing guitars or bass guitars to be a little louder so it sounds like the song is still going.  But other than that, there’s not much room for improvement.

I downloaded their CD, (and yes, I paid for it…that will help with college, eh?).  But my real complaint is that on the computer, the album cover is awesome–if you look at it from an angle, there’s a whole scene behind the large logo (try it, it works here too).  But when you print it out, you lose all of that.  The images are there, but the effect is gone.  This is a band that calls out for full color packaging and maybe even a gatefold sleeve!  (The bottom of the cover says Ο υπνoβάτης which means The Sleepwalker).

Good jobs guys!  You’ve done NEPA proud!

[READ: May 15, 2012] Drop Dead Healthy

Sarah got me this latest A.J. Jacobs book for my birthday.  At first I didn’t think I wanted to read it because I feared what a book all about being in good shape would be—nagging, obnoxious, making me feel bad about my vices. But I should have leaned from all of my A.J. Jacobs experience that he is completely NOT about that.

Jacobs occasionally enters into preposterous forays of Self-Improvement.  In the first book of his I read, The  Guinea Pig Diaries, he tried various weird experiments to see what it was like to be a woman, radically honest, a unitasker, etc.  His other books have been about self-improvement.  He read the encyclopedia from A-Z, he did a year trying to live like out of the bible (I will get to these eventually).  In this book, he is on a quest to be the healthiest person in the world.

It’s an impossible task.  And, frankly, a foolish one.  But he decides he will take two years and focus on individual parts of his body one month at a time.  I’m going say right up front I feared that this book would make me feel bad about all the things I don’t do for myself.   But well, a) Jacobs is a funny writer, so at least you’re laughing.  b) Jacobs is either in bad shape or plays up his badshapedness so that the average person doesn’t feel too bad off.  c) He is so over the top in his quest that no one would ever think about doing all of the things, but we can take what he learned and apply little bits to ourselves.  What is nice is that he tries to get two if not balanced opinions then perhaps fringe opinions to balance out–trying one extreme then another to see which work.

He Breaks His Categories Down thusly: stomach (eating right, the perfect food), the heart, the ears (the quest for quiet), the butt (avoiding sitting too much), the immune system (germs), genitals, nervous system, lower intestine (better bowels), adrenal gland (lowering stress), brain, endocrine system (removing toxins), teeth, feet, lungs, skin, inside of the eyelid (sleep), bladder, gonads, nose, hands, back, eyes, and skull.  Each category is designed to be a month-long workout of that organ/item–some things he keeps doing after the month is over making his workout regime something like 5 hours a day.  And at the beginning of each month he lists the stats for what he accomplished.

I’m not going to talk about all of his body parts, but I will mention a few that i enjoyed the most. (more…)

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Karl Taro Greenfeld–“Fun Won” (Harper’s, June 2012)

Posted in Bob Mould, Decadence, Drinking, Drugs, Harper's, Hüsker Dü, Hellbender, Karl Taro Greenfeld, Marriage (Happy), Marriage Trouble, Models, Nostalgia, Short Story on May 21, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: HELLBENDER-Con Limón (1997).

Con Limón was Hellbender’s final CD.  It shows a lot more depth and variation than one would have expected from the debut.  “Fake I.D.” opens really really quietly for two verses so that you have to turn it up loud.  And then the song kicks in and explodes your speakers.  There are more such dynamics on this song, including the verse ending on a high guitar note and pause that adds a bit of quiet punch to the otherwise fast song.  “You Gutted Me with a Switchblade Shaped Like a Telephone” opens with some quietly spoken words (which I have not as yet been able to understand), but the verses and chorus have quite an emo feel.   “Long Distance Phone Bill Runner” has a catchy chugging riff with some screamy vocals.  “Untrusted You” introduces acoustic guitar (and a cool off-key note).  The vocals sound like Bob Mould.  Indeed the whole thing has a kind of Hüsker Dü feel to it.  “I-95 is Tattooed on My Brain” also opens slowly, with dark, quiet lyrics and a cool riff once the guitar kicks in.  The guys clearly have a way with song titles.

“Song About Some Girls” is perhaps one of the cheesiest songs I’ve heard in a long time (although as one reviewer points out, it does anticipate radio friendly emo by about a decade).  Coming from Hellbender it is super-cheese.  I’m surprised they allowed it to be released (and I’m surprised it wasn’t a huge hit).  Check out the lyrics (and this coming from a band with two lyricists who are currently published authors): “This is a song that I wrote about some girls/That I met at the beach back when I had the Jeep.”  Really.  And the chorus is a series of staggered “Right” “Right” “Right” “Right.”  It is so insanely catchy–I hate myself for liking it so much.  (The lyrics to their other songs are much better).

“Graveyarded” returns to the more angry type of song, dark with interesting riffs.  It’s a fitting ending to the last release by this under appreciated (they don’t even have an entry in allmusic?) band.  Oh wait, there’s a bonus song on the disc.  After a few seconds of silence, there’s a strange bass-heavy riff (and kind of dancey drums).  The lyrics are all spoken (I won’t say rapped).  It sounds nothing like them, but I’ll bet they had fun making it.

[READ: May 21, 2012] “Fun Won”

Sometimes a title confounds you until you see it in the context of the story.  I couldn’t even figure out how to say the title (which isn’t hard, but looks so peculiar) until I read it from one of the characters.  I also had no way of anticipating what this story might be about.

Imagine my surprise that it was about the 90s, and about a woman who worked for Conde Nast, when money and drugs were plentiful and the fun never stopped.

It’s funny how context is everything.  If I had read this story in the 90s, I would have hated everyone in it for their glamorous life, their quarter pound of weed, their expense accounted fancy dinner and even the fact that they work for a fashion magazine (Gaultier and Naomi Campbell are name-checked).  And yet now that the bubble has burst and the fun has stopped and I never got to be a part of it (not that I would have…but still), I read this story almost wistfully.

This story is set up in a tricky way.   Meaning that it starts out by talking about marriage but then shifts gears.  The marriage discussion is all about how her friends married such squares in the 90s (while now women marry interesting men who have job but are defined by their hobbies).  And it is a nostalgia piece for the 90s (“when you could still dream of being a writer, when writing for magazines and then writing books and all of that added up to a good life.”) [Sigh].

For background we learn that the narrator, her brother and their father were big dopers (their mother abstained–from the dope and the family).  Her brother Ed is visiting from California with a quarter pound of awesome pop (this was before everyone had access to awesome pot).  The bulk of the story concerns this visit.  Ed and the narrator get high, then they share the pot with Marni (who is famous, although whose actual title is unstated–she’s the one who calls Gaultier).  They end up all going for dinner at a fancy restaurant (with shaved truffles).

They also meet the narrator’s boyfriend who is a real estate mogul–he sells building for tons of money (and yes, is likely the reason the bubble burst).  And then they go to a record studio to hear a famous singer make her album and watch it get mixed. (more…)

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Sterling Archer–How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written (2012)

Posted in Adventure, Advice, Archer, Audiobooks, Canadian Music, Communists, Cook Book, Drinking, Drugs, Eggs Woodhouse, Funny (ha ha), Gambling, Lacrosse, Rush, Sex, Short Books, Spies, Sterling Archer, Threats, Violence on May 10, 2012| 2 Comments »

SOUNDTRACK: RUSH on Archer (2011-2012).

Not really a soundtrack, but I wanted to mention some of the Rush references in Archer.

I was really hoping to use the Rush in Cleveland DVD as my Soundtrack, but I haven’t finished it yet.  And yes, I am padding this out a bit so that the pictures fit nicely.

Cobra Cobra Cobra (that’s a joke to the book below).

The Archer guys like Rush and they put nods to Rush in occasional episodes–usually through mad-scientist (I want to call him The Professor), Krieger.  Here’s three of Krieger’s vans.

I love the detail that went into “Vanispheres.”  Since Krieger always wears a lab coat, it’s a wonderful detail to have him wearing it as the nude man.  And, of course to have him as both the nude man and the clothed man is perfect.

Since it’s my favorite obscure Rush album, the Caress of Krieger van just cracks me up the most.

And just to add to the fun here’s a video of Krieger’s Neil Peart-like drum set

It’s pronounced “Why Why Zed.”

[READ:May 9, 2012] How to Archer

Although the Archie Meets Kiss comic proved to not be the joy I’d hoped, How to Archer easily made up for it.  I love Archer, it is one of my top ten shows ever, I think.  And this book is basically a print version of the show.

It’s designed as a how-to manual written by Sterling Archer himself.  He gives you tips on how to become the world’s best secret agent.  He teaches you how to dress (the details about buying shoes are amazing), how to drink (he provides cocktail recipes and his own opinion of subpar drinks), how to eat (a recipe for Eggs Woodhouse that sounds divine) and even a secret to gambling!

The fact that Archer is an abrasive, cocky, sexist, racist dick only makes the book that much funnier.

If you haven’t seen Archer (on FX), it’s a cartoon about a spy.  His mother, Malory, owns the spy agency and they have a very contentious relationship.  (The fact that his full name is Sterling Malory Archer should be just one clue to that).  Malory gets the introduction to the book, which is pretty darn funny as well. (more…)

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Thomas Pynchon–[Week 11] Gravity’s Rainbow [Sections 4.7-4.12 (end)] (1973)

Posted in Big Books, Consumerism, Corporate skewering, Drinking, Drugs, Funny (ha ha), Funny (strange), Language, Military, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, Pink Floyd, Political Humor, Pranks, Racism, Research, Russia, Sex, Squeeze, Steve Miller, Supernatural, Surreal, Technology, The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover, Threats, Travel, War on May 7, 2012| 4 Comments »

SOUNDTRACK: PINK FLOYD-the final cut: a requiem for the post war dream (1983).

My college experience seems very unlike many people’s (especially the stories I hear from you young kids today).  And I’m just talking musically.  I went to college in the late 80 and early 90s.  And my freshman year, the most popular albums on campus  were Steve Miller’s Greatest Hits, Squeeze’s 45s and Under and Pink Floyd’s The Wall.  My friend John also loved this album.  And I think we listened to it hundreds of times, blasting out of dorm room windows.

It’s kind of strange that college freshmen would embrace an album about (more or less) Roger Waters’ father dying in WWII, especially since none of our fathers had died at all, much less in WWII.  But angst finds its home I suppose.

This album is not a sequel to The Wall, but it has echoes (see what I did there) from that album.  There were touches of WWII in The Wall.  And sonically a lot of this album sounds similar.  The big difference is that Roger Waters wrote pretty much the whole thing, long time keyboardist Richard Wright left the band and David Gilmour, sings on only one song.  So, it’s practically a solo project (and it fees a lot like Waters’ solo album The Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking).

This album seems to have alienated fans of Floyd. But I happen to like it quite a lot.  And, I it a lot while reading Gravity’s Rainbow.

“The Post War Dream” opens with military sounding horns and funereal organs, as befits an album about the war.  It also has an intriguing assortment of sound effects (I wonder where he gets most of this stuff).  It sounds very Pink Floyd–Roger Waters’ voice is pretty unmistakable).  But “Your Possible Pasts” sounds even more Pink Floyd.  Evidently this album has a number of songs that were cast offs from The Wall.  If that’s true, this is probably one of them, as it sounds like it could easily fit on that album–especially when the keyboards kick in during the second chorus (even if Richard Wright wasn’t on the album).  And the guitar solo is so David Gilmour–that’s what you call a signature sound.

“One of the Few” has something I love from Floyd–whispered vocals (“teach”) and creepy laughing; it works as a nice transition to the louder “The Hero’s Return.”  This track is very complex–all kinds of tonal shifts, echoed vocals and bitter lyrics.  It explodes into “The Gunner’s Dream,” a gentle piano ballad about a soldier being shot down.   It’s a surprisingly tender song (although not really given the topic of the album) and lyrically it is really impressive.  I don’t really care for the saxophone solo–it’s not my thing, but I think it actually works well for the song.  And, again the end sounds like it came from The Wall (Waters is amazing at angsty screams).

“Paranoid Eyes” is a delicate song that works, for me, as lead in to the wonderful “Get Your Filthy Hands Off My Desert” a short, string-filled somewhat goofy song that is very bitter under its seeming jocularity.  It’s followed by “The Fletcher Memorial Home,” a really dark track about old age with a lot of current political commentary thrown in (although the “group of anonymous Latin American meat-packing glitterati” always confused (and amused) me.  So even though it is “about” WWII, there’s plenty of anger at current political climate, right Maggie?.  Boom boom, bang bang, lie down, you’re dead–take it away David…

“Southampton Dock” is another gentle song, more of a story with musical accompaniment.  It segues into “The Final Cut” a fitting piano end to a sad album about death and loss, that also happens to reprise song elements from The Wall.

But that’s actually not the last song.  We get the incongruous “Not Now John.”  It really doesn’t fit with the album at all (I happen to love it, even if it doesn’t).  It’s way over the top, including the how-in-the-hell-did-they-think-this-would-be-a-single? opening lyrics: “fuck all that we gotta get on with this. (fuck all that).”  And yet, single it was, reaching #7 in the US.  Man it rocks.  Oi, where’s the fucking bar, John?

The album ends properly with “two suns in the sunset” a mostly acoustic track that returns the mood to more sombre feelings (except for the rocking section where you drive into an oncoming truck).  Never has futility felt so upbeat.  For an album as personal as this is, it really draws the listener in.  Of course, if you don’t want to be drawn in, it’s easy to resist, as many have.

The reissue (which I don’t have), includes the cool song from The Wall movie, “When the Tigers Broke Free.”  Which I imagine would work quite well contextually.

[READ: Week of April 30] Gravity’s Rainbow 4.7-end

And the book ends with a bang and a lot of leftover questions.  My first reaction is that I can’t get over Pynchon spent so much time in the last 60 pages talking about things that had nothing to do with the “plot” per se.  I never really felt like the story was all that hard to follow until the end, when Pynchon let loose the dogs of war on his writing.  There are several pages of stream of consciousness reverie where I was completely at a loss.  Of course, this has been true for much of the book–Pynchon would talk about something and then cycle back into it, filling in the gaps that he left open.  The whole book seemed to have this kind of coiled effect (perhaps a slinky). He would set up a scene as if you had been there all along.  And while you were puzzling over just who the hell he was talking about, he would flashback to whatever you needed to fill in the missing pieces.  And he is still doing that as the story comes to a close.

And although it starts out with a familiar figure, he quickly takes something and has a massive hallucination.  Is this even true? (more…)

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Gabriel Tallent–“Men Against Violence” (Narrative, Winter 2012)

Posted in Contests, Death Cab For Cutie, Drinking, Drugs, Gabriel Tallent, LGBTQ, Narrative, Scholarship, Set at School, Sex, Short Story, Superchunk, Violence on May 4, 2012| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE-“Kicked In” from Score! 20 Years of Merge Records: The Covers (2009).

Death Cab for Cutie are immediately recognizable here.  And they take this Superchunk song and make it sound like a Death Cab for Cutie song.

This cover is the rare cover in which the band takes a song and makes it clearly their own, and yet they don’t alter it all that much from the original.  The Superchunk version is slow (for Superchunk), with buzzing, distorted guitars and Mac’s vocals riding over the top.  The DCFC version features Ben Gibbard’s voice riding over the top as well.  But DCFC make the song a bit cleaner.  Rather than distorted guitars, we get chiming guitars and simple notes.  Instead of being a kind of grungy anthem, it feels somewhat uplifting.  And in true DCFC style, the uplifting sounding song really disguises something darker.

Even though the DCFC version feels slower, it’s not any longer than the original, and I think the pacing is pretty much the same.  It’s a neat trick.  I like both versions equally.

[READ: May, 2, 2012] “Men Against Violence”

This story came in third place in the Narrative Magazine Fall 2011 short story content.  It had a very different feel from second place winner.  It is set in college.  It feels contemporary and it reads young.  This, of course, means that I liked the style immediately.  I admit I was a little confused by the opening—I felt the exposition was  little convoluted and relationships were not established effectively.  But once it got moving, the story was really engrossing.

This is a reasonably simple story.  Kyle has a Hennessey scholarship—he received hundreds of thousands of dollars over his four years of college.  As the story opens he is attending the dinner which announces the newest scholarship grant, and introduces Kyle to the latest scholarship winner, whose name is (in all lower case letters) madison pepper.

The guest speaker at the banquet is Brooke Hennessey.  She is the granddaughter of Dorothy Hennessey and is currently is Kyle’s class at the college.  She speaks eloquently about her family’s donation (of the Hennessey Art Museum).   What she doesn’t say is that she ran away at 15, spent two years living in a car in Portland and that she accepts no money from her family (and has a mountain of debt).  She also doesn’t say that she is currently dating Kyle.

Kyle has problems of his own.  He recently got into a fight with a Trevor, a fairly important person on campus and he is now on a kind of probation—if he fights again, he loses the scholarship and has to back all the money.  This is why he joined Men Against Violence.  There’s a funny (but not really) insight into the existence of MAV on the campus, which leads to many unanswered questions about gender relations.  And the subject of gender relations is all over this story.  That delicate subject is handled very well. (more…)

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