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Terry Pratchett–The Last Hero : A Discworld Fable (2001) [Discworld #27] [Rincewind/Wizards #7]

Posted in Anachronisms, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Death, Discworld, Funny (ha ha), Hex, Josh Kirby, Leonard of Quirm, Magic, Mustrum Ridcully, Ponder Stibbons, Rincewind, Terry Pratchett, The Bursar, The Chair of Indefinite Studies, The Dean, The Lecturer in Recent Runes, The Librarian, The Senior Wrangler, Wizards, Wizards on June 7, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: March 2022] The Last Hero

The Last Hero is a Discworld illustrated short story or fable .  Really what that means is that there’s only one main plot line since most Discworld stories have multiple plots that interweave and then come together.  So it doesn’t really feel short because a full adventure happens–just without all of the ancillary characters.

And, perhaps most striking for any Discworld book is that this one is fully illustrated by Paul Kidby.  Only every other page is full text. The rest are half picture or full picture.  But the pictures are also very deatiled and will keep you busy for a while.  This particualr version has 16 all new pages of illustrations.

The Last Hero is Cohen the Barbarian.  We last saw him in Interesting Times when he became the Emperor of the Agatean Empire.  But, well, being in charge of things is kind of boring.  And, frankly, it’s no way for a hero to go out.  When one of the Silver Horde died by choking on a concubine–I think you mean cucumber– Cohen decides they need a plan.  So he gathers the rest of the Silver Horde for one last adventure.

The very first hero, “Fingers” Mazda, stole fire from the gods and gave it to mankind (analogous to Prometheus), and was chained to a rock to be torn open daily by a giant eagle as punishment.  Cohen’s plan is to give the fire back–in the form of a giant explosive packed into a large sled filled with explosive Agatean Thunder Clay. They plan to blow up the gods at their mountain home, Cori Celesti. (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–The Truth (2000) [Discworld #25] [Ankh-Morpork story, not about the Watch]

Posted in Altogether Andrews, Anachronisms, Angua von Überwald, Arnold Sideways, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cheery Littlebottom, Coffin Henry, Death, Detritus, Discworld, Dogs, Dorfl, Dwarfs, Foul Ol' Ron, Fred Colon, Funny (ha ha), Golems, Guns, Lady Sybil Ramkin, Lord Vetinari, Magic, Newspapers, Nobby Nobbs, Sacharissa Cripslock, Samuel Vimes, Terry Pratchett, The Duck Man, The Librarian, The Watch, Vampires, Violence, Werewolves, William de Worde, Wizards on June 5, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: April 2022] The Truth

This story is set in Ankh-Morpork but it’s not about the Watch.  Or Lord Vetenari.  Well, it sort of is about both of them, but not really.

This story is about The Truth.  And also about a new character called William de Worde.  William is a black sheep of a famous and wealthy Ankh-Morpork family.  He has always been interested in writing and in finding the truth.

His job was to write an occasional message to various important figures around the Disc with information about what’s going on in Ankh-Morpork.  He quickly learned that he could write his message, have the Engraver’s guild print multiple copies and just change a few things for each one.  This made him a lot more money.

Then there was big news in Ankh-Morpork–the arrival of movable type from the dwarfs, particularly Gunilla Goodmountain.

William, through a series of events, inadvertently becomes the spokesperson for the movable type (even though he had nothing to do with it) and starts a newspaper. The paper is supposed to be named Ankh-Morpork Items but they get the type wrong and it became The Ankh-Morpork Times.

He is assisted by the dwarfs and Sacharissa Cripslock–a fiery reporter who proves very useful. (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–The Last Continent (1998) [Discworld #22] [Rincewind/Wizards #6]

Posted in Anachronisms, Death, Discworld, Disembowel-Meself-Honourably Dibhala, Funny (ha ha), Hex, Josh Kirby, Magic, Mustrum Ridcully, Ponder Stibbons, Racism, Rincewind, Terry Pratchett, The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, The Bursar, The Chair of Indefinite Studies, The Dean, The Lecturer in Recent Runes, The Librarian, The Luggage, The Senior Wrangler, Wizards, Wizards on June 2, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: March 2022] The Last Continent

The Last Continent in Discworld is Australia. Or as Pratchett says “This is not a book about Australia. No, it’s about somewhere entirely different which just happens to be, here and there, a bit Australian.  Still… no worries, right?”

In the previous Rincewind story, he was sent to Four Ecks in exchange for a kangaroo.  He has been there for a time and has been adjusting reasonably well–only nearly everything wants to kill him.

But suddenly he meets Scrappy–a talking kangaroo.  Scrappy believes that Rincewind is a hero of sorts who is going to bring the wet (Rain) back to the continent.  Turns out that it has not rained in Four Ecks for a long time, although it is surrounded by forbidding storms that make the continent almost inaccessible from outside.

Four Ecks is also a time travel parody of sorts, because Rincewind is able to see himself (and the other wizards) in cave paintings that are thousands of years old but which just appeared in front of him.

Meanwhile, back in Ankh-Morpork, the librarian seems to be going through something.  His magical field (which tunrned him into an orangutan) seems to be failing.  He keeps turning into various shapes, and the senior wizards (Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully, The Dean, The Bursar, The Chair of Indefinite Studies, The Lecturer in Recent Runes, The Senior Wrangler, and Ponder Stibbons) are keen on fixing him–even if that means turning him back human–which he does NOT want, Indeed, the librarian destroyed all record of his original name–which would be essential for creating a spell to revert him to his original shape.

They decide that Rincewind might know a thing or two about the librarian since he was the librarian’s assistant.  They think about dragging Rincewind back, but soon realize the danger of that (and actually stop their plans before anyone can get hurt). (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Jingo (1997) [Discworld #21] [Watch #4]

Posted in Anachronisms, Angua von Überwald, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cheery Littlebottom, Death, Detritus, Discworld, Dorfl, Dwarfs, Fred Colon, Funny (ha ha), Golems, Guns, Lady Sybil Ramkin, Leonard of Quirm, Lord Vetinari, Magic, Nobby Nobbs, Racism, Samuel Vimes, Terry Pratchett, The Librarian, The Watch, Vampires, Violence, Werewolves on June 1, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: March 2022] Jingo

With a title like Jingo, you know that Terry Pratchett isn’t holding back.  And indeed, this is a story about two countries fighting each other over disputed territory–and the unenlightened attitudes that people have about “foreigners.”

What is great about Pratchett is how much he is able to get his point across without being preachy.  Some of the unenlightened characters say offensive things, but they are quickly discoruaged from such attitudes–not with bludgeoning and hysteria, but with rational comments.  It’s very well done.

But what causes this trouble?  Well, out of nowhere, an island has surfaced.  The island of Leshp was submerged forever, and suddenly, it floated to the surface amid two fishermen.  Solid Jackson of Ankh-Morpork (and his long-suffering son) and Greasy Arif from Al-Khali, the Klatchian capital.  They often fought over their prey (the Curious Squid), because they sailed the same waters that were between the two countries.

While this is going on, diplomatic business is occurring in Ankh-Morpork.  The prince of Klatch, Khufurah, is in Ankh-Morpork to receive an honorary degree (Doctorum Adamus cum Flabello Dulci) in Sweet Fanny Adams.

Hostilities between A-M and Klatch are high.

Several leaders of the city are there to complain to Lord Vetenari about Klatch.  Watch Captain Sam Vimes is there to add a level head and sarcasm.  When someone complains that Klatch wouldn’t accept ten boatloads of cabbages, Vimes says out loud to himself “everyone knows caterpillars add to the flavor” and later “Meat is at its best when it’s going green.”

And of course, the Patrician knows his way around diplomacy: “it is no longer considered…nice…to send a warship … to show Johnny Foreigner the error of his ways.”

Later, the Prince meets with Vimes and asks him about the word he’s heard shouted at him: “towelhead.” (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Hogfather (1996) [Discworld #20] [Death #4]

Posted in Alfred, Auditors of Reality, Banjo Lilywhite, Bilious, Binky, Buddy Holly, Catseye, Chickenwire, Christmas, Death, Death of Rats, Discworld, Funny (ha ha), Hex, Jonathan Teatime, Magic, Medium Dave Lilywhite, Music, Mustrum Ridcully, Peachy, Ponder Stibbons, Quoth (the raven), Santa Claus, Susan Sto-Helit, Terry Pratchett, The Bursar, The Chair of Indefinite Studies, The Dean, The Lecturer in Recent Runes, The Librarian, The Senior Wrangler, Unfinished series, Wizards on February 3, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: February 2022] Hogfather

I don’t know that I’d call many Discworld books “exciting.”  They’re funny, thoughtful, clever, interesting and so much more.  But usually not  “exciting. ” But there’s something about Hogfather that makes it an incredibly exciting read.

It starts with the Auditors.  We haven’t seen them in a while.  The last time we saw them, they basically fired Death because he was getting too involved with humanity.  The Auditors are gray spectral beings who exist to make the sure the world is running correctly.   If any of them acts even remotely like an individual, he is instantly zapped and replaced with a new even more neutral Auditor.

And what makes the world not run smoothly?  Humanity.  Really, the Auditors hate humanity.  And they think they have finally figured out a way to make things run more smoothly.  They decide to get rid of the Hogfather.

The Hogfather is more or less Santa Claus, but with a Discworld twist.  Yes, he grants children’s wishes on Hogswatchnight (December 32–which takes its name from the Scottish celebration for the last day of the calendar year–Hogmanay) and brings them presents, but his sleigh is pulled by four wild boars, Gouger, Rooter, Tusker and Snouter.  We don’t see much of the actual Hogfather because once Death learns that Hogfather is… incapacitated, Death decides to take over his duties for the night.  Why?  Because if Hogfather doesn’t exist then the Sun will not rise.  This is nonsense, of course. Isn’t it? (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Feet of Clay (1996) [Discworld #19] [Watch #3]

Posted in Anachronisms, Angua von Überwald, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cheery Littlebottom, Death, Detritus, Discworld, Dorfl, Dwarfs, Fred Colon, Funny (ha ha), Golems, Guns, Lady Sybil Ramkin, Lord Vetinari, Magic, Nobby Nobbs, Samuel Vimes, Terry Pratchett, The Librarian, The Watch, Vampires, Violence, Werewolves, Wizards on January 31, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: January 2022] Feet of Clay

The Watch is back.  This story doesn’t exactly introduce Golems to the city of Ankh-Morpork.  They’ve always been there.  But this is the first time they have become a big deal.

Also a big deal? Sam Vimes.  Now that Vimes has become a Lord, it’s about time he gets a crest.  So he goes to the local keeper of the Register of Proper People: Dragon King of Arms, to see about his old family crest.

Except, as Dragon King of Arms is quick to point out, his ancestor was a regicide and they tend to frown on that sort of thing.  So it turns out that one of Vimes ancestor’s

But while Vimes is denied a crest, he is informed that his co-worker, Nobby Nobbs is actually from a learned and proper family (but Nobby is barely human!), still, there is fanciness in his blood.  He is descended from the Earl of Ankh.

Nobby is not too happy about being upper crust and spends much of the book bemoaning that he can be upper class and have no money.  When Society calls on him to come visit, he is woefully out of place and the whole dinner party is a hilarious feast for the reader. (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Soul Music (1994) [Discworld #16] [Death #3]

Posted in Alfred, Binky, Buddy Holly, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, Death, Discworld, Funny (ha ha), Glod Glodsson, Imp y Celyn, Lias Bluestone, Magic, Mort, Music, Susan Sto-Helit, Terry Pratchett, The Dean, The Librarian, Unfinished series, Wizards, Ysabell on January 11, 2022| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: November 2021] Soul Music

This book is about Music With Rocks In!  (With a timeless CD on the cover).  But it’s also about Death having (another) existential crisis.

The book opens with the explanation of why Death had a granddaughter.  For reasons all his own, Death rescued a baby girl, Ysabell, and took her home.  He allowed her to age for sixteen years and then she stopped aging.

He also hired an apprentice named Mort who best Death (which Death allowed, truth be told) in a fight.

So Mort and Ysabell fell in love and were sent back to the real world where they had a daughter, Susan.  Susan technically wasn’t related to Death, but Death was her grandfather so…..

Susan went to boarding school, where she had an uncanny ability to be unseen–even by her teachers.  She was also very smart  (Neither of these things made her teachers very happy).  Susan could also see things that others couldn’t.  And she found this upsetting.  Like when a rat that seemed to be more skeleton than anything else looked at her and said SQUEAK?  As the book opens we learn that her parents have just died in an accident. (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Men at Arms (1992) [Discworld #15] [Watch #2]

Posted in Anachronisms, Angua von Überwald, Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cuddy, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, Death, Detritus, Discworld, Dwarfs, Fred Colon, Funny (ha ha), Guns, Lady Sybil Ramkin, Lord Vetinari, Magic, Nobby Nobbs, Samuel Vimes, Terry Pratchett, The Librarian, The Watch, Vampires, Violence, Werewolves, Wizards on October 20, 2021| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: Fall 2021] Men at Arms

The Watch is back and it’s getting bigger.

And they are going to have to deal with another person who is trying to oust Patrician Vetinari.  This time the person in question is Edward D’eath a high ranking member of the Assassins Guild. D’eath has been doing genealogical research and he believes that Corporal Carrot might be the rightful heir to the throne of Ankh-Morpork–the throne which even Lord Vetinari won’t sit on (but won’t remove either).

Meanwhile, Captain Sam Vimes is about to be married to Lady Sybil Ramkin (I can’t believe that the Vimes /Lady Sybil relationship was settled after just one book!)

Sam is delighted with Sybil, but he hates just about everything else about the upcoming marriage.  He hates that Sybil is one of the richest women in Ankh-Morpork.  He hates hobnobbing with the other rich people in the city (Sybil is really very different from everyone else, which is why he loves her). He is even rather uncomfortable with just how rich Sybil is.  There’s a very spot-on argument about how rich people even save money when they buy expensive things.  For instance, the average cop can’t afford to buy expensive shoes that last.  So instead he has to buy cheap shoed that wear out quickly.  Then he has to buy another pair.  And then another pair.  Three $20 pairs that don’t last as long as one $50 pair.

The worst thing for Sam is that he really doesn’t want to give up being a cop.  Well, maybe he kind of does, but it’s all he knows.  And he knows that he’ll miss it.  Even if things are changing around him. (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Lords and Ladies (1991) [Discworld #14] [Witches #4]

Posted in Casanunda, Death, Discworld, Elves, Fairy Tales, Funny (ha ha), Granny Weatherwax, Greebo, King Verence, Magic, Magrat Garlick, Mustrum Ridcully, Nanny Ogg, Terry Pratchett, The Dean, The Librarian, Unfinished series, Violence, Voodoo on October 11, 2021| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: Fall 2021] Lords and Ladies

The Discworld Witches are back for another story.  (This is the fourth Witches story which puts them on equal footing with Rincewind at this point).

I have been reading all of the Discworld stories in order (obviously?) and I wasn’t looking forward to this one because of the lousy cover.  I mean, look at that.

But this book turns out to be great.  In addition to the enjoyable story, Sir Terry sets the record straight on elves.  They are nasty.  They are wicked.  They are not cute, they are cruel.  And they don’t appear in Discworld because generations ago they were locked out

The only way they can get back in is via the Dancers, a ring of magnetized iron stones.  Or technically they can’t get in there because the iron stones keep the elves away–elves can’t abide iron.  But when the time is right the worlds get close and the elves try to see if they can somehow get someone to magic away the iron.

And it turns out this is a time of convergence.  Crop circles begin appearing around Lancre and that can only mean that the universe of Elves is nearby.

So what is wrong with elves exactly?  They enter the minds of humans using glamour, to try to make them see the world differently.  Yes, Witches enter into human and animal minds, but only temporarily.

Here’s what they say about elves.  And what those words mean.

  • Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
  • Elves are marvelous.  They cause marvels.
  • Elves are fantastic.  They create fantasies.
  • Elves are glamourous.  They project glamour.
  • Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
  • Elves are terrific.  They beget terror
  • No one ever said elves are nice. Elves are bad.

Granny and Nanny can remember the stories about the elves.  But Magrat is too young, to sweet to believe that elves are bad.  She would believe that the elves are magical and fantastic in a good way.  She would not understand why they must be kept out.

And so Granny and Nanny do not tell her.  (more…)

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Terry Pratchett–Reaper Man (1991) [Discworld #11] [Death #2]

Posted in Alfred, Binky, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, Death, Discworld, Funny (ha ha), Magic, Mort, Mustrum Ridcully, Terry Pratchett, The Dean, The Librarian, Unfinished series, Vampires, Wizards, Ysabell, Zombies on October 5, 2021| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: hiatus

[READ: October 2021] Reaper Man

This book opens unlike any other, with an amorphous group of beings called The Auditors of Reality.  (Well, it opens with a bit about Morris Dancing, which is pretty funny).  The Auditors have no individual personalities (in fact, when One says I (“I hate them”) it is immediately dispatched so a more neutral Auditor can take its place.

The Auditors want to make sure that everything is following the Rules. And what isn’t following the Rules?  Well, Death isn’t following the rules.  Death is developing a personality.  And that cannot happen.  So they fire him.  Yes indeed.

He goes off on his own trying to figure things out.  He winds up getting a job as a farm hand (his reaping skills are unparalleled).  The woman he works for is quite suspicious of him (and everyone in town is quite suspicious of her). Death is caught off guard and when she asks his name he comes up with unsuspicious name of Bill Door.

The woman is Miss Fitworth.  She is an elderly woman (rumored to have a large chest with a lot of money in it).  She had a fiancé who went on a business trip and never came back.  Rumor is that he left her, but she doesn’t believe it.

This is all well and good, but without Death, dead humans don’t know what to do–no one is there to guide them to the afterlife.  So they kind of just keep piling up.  Poltergeists run amok.  And then there is aged Wizard Windle Poons.  He was really looking forward to reincarnation.  But after he died, his spirit just returned to his body.  Of course, since he is dead, he doesn’t have any concern with old age–his sight and strength are better than they have been in years.  But everyone is more than a little freaked out by him. (more…)

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