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Catherine Lacey–“Because You Have To” (Harper’s, July 2017)

Posted in Albin Lee Meldau, Birds, Catherine Lacey, Cats, Dementia, Dire Straits, Fire, Harper's, Hozier, Short Story, Tiny Desk Concert on July 30, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: ALBIN LEE MELDAU-Tiny Desk Concert #638 (July 20, 2017).

I’d never heard of Albin Lee Meldau.  His style reminds me of a number of gruff powerful-voiced singers.

So who is he?

Meldau grew up in Gothenburg, Sweden the son of musical parents. His mother is a music teacher and jazz singer, while Meldau says his father is a “punk rocker.” (Both write and record their own songs.) As a kid, Meldau originally played trumpet but mostly dreamed of being a professional soccer player.

The blurb notes:

When I [Robin] first saw him perform, at a church in Austin … it felt like the entire audience was on the edge of its seat, hanging on every twisted word. His voice is breathtaking, soulful, thunderous and impossible to ignore.

Watching Meldau in this Tiny Desk set, the first thing you’ll notice, apart from that voice, is how possessed he is by the music. The words and melodies seem to take hold of him while at the same time offering a release, if only for a moment, from the knot of emotions he’s carrying inside. It’s in no small part because Meldau’s music is so personal, centered on desperate souls in deeply troubled times.

He sings for songs and his voice is powerful, loud, aggressive and emotive.  He is hard to ignore, for sure.  His band consists of Simon Andermo (bass) and Simon Söfelde (guitar).  For the first two songs Kalle Stenbäcken plays piano, but on the third song he switches to drums.

“Lou Lou,” the track he opens with and his most popular song, is a story of drug addiction and mental illness, inspired by a girl he knew while growing up in Sweden. It’s short and powerful, you can feel the anguish in his voice–he seems really transformed by it.

His other two songs, “Mayfly” and “Persistence,” are more about hanging on when it seems there’s nothing left to live for.

He says the “Mayfly,” she only lives for one day.  Like the first song, it’s barely 2 minutes long.

Before “Persistence” he says “give it up for My Beautiful Sweets (the backing band).  They don’t come cheap, do they?”  He’s going to play one more song with them and then he seems to jokingly say (but who can tell) “I wouldn’t dance with no other, baby.”  It starts slow, but the addition of he drums is a great kick in the pants.  The guitar and melody are pure Dire Straits, and the chorus is outstanding.

Before the final song he jokes, “It’s a deep honor to be here,” Meldau told the NPR audience. “I’ve been to the BBC and now I’ve been here, so now I can die.”   But he’s so deadpan it’s hard to know how much he’s joking.

He calls “Bloodshot,” the track he closes with, “dark and horrible,” about the wreckage of a tortured relationship and the crazed paranoia of jealousy.  He says “Let’s see if I can remember the chords.”  He does and he sounds great.  When his voice grows powerful and strained it’s really emotional.

If he can capture the same wave of love that people gave Hozier (with whom he has stylistic traits in common) I could see him going far.

[READ: July 20, 2017] “Because You Have To”

This is a rambling story inside a woman’s head.  There are many thoughts, but none are especially compelling. Things like:

If you stop answering the phone, eventually it stops ringing.

Essentially she misses someone.  When she hears her dog barking, she almost called out “your name.”  But it was actually Wayne who had found a loose dog and wondered if it was hers.  Which it obviously wasn’t, since her dog was right there.

I love the line that her grandmother was “the most beloved fascist in the family.”  She used to say “You have to count your blessings, and when the narrator dared to ask why, “she gave me a great smack to the ear: “Because you have to.” (more…)

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Fleur Jaeggy–“An Encounter in the Bronx” (Harper’s, June 2017)

Posted in Fish, Fleur Jaeggy, Food, Gini Alhadeff, Harper's, Huh?, Short Story, Tiny Desk Concert, Translation, Tuxedo on July 28, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: TUXEDO-Tiny Desk Concert #636 (July 17, 2017).

tuxedoI have never heard of Tuxedo, although I have heard of its main singer Mayer Hawthorne.  But I realized that I don’t know why I know Hawthorne.

So the blurb fills me in

Seattle-based producer Jake One [keyboards and occasional backing voice] has a who’s-who client list, from Rick Ross to 21 Savage — while DJ, singer-songwriter and producer Mayer Hawthorne [lead vocals and piano] is a renaissance soul man from Ann Arbor, Michigan. They stealthily debuted three tracks on SoundCloud in 2013 with only a black square stamped “Tuxedo” as the cover art, leaving fans wondering where this new funk was coming from.

When Tuxedo arrived at NPR and Mayer Hawthorne spied a small ‘Ho!’ button sitting on Bob Boilen’s desk, he immediately beamed. “We use a big ‘Ho!’ button on tour,” he said. They didn’t bring a drummer, opting for a boombox — yes, a real boombox playing a real cassette tape, kids — and it was nostalgic delight from the start of the cassette’s hiss. The band was tight as ever, while their ace in the hole, Gavin Turek [with incredibly big hair] provided dance moves and the sweetest harmonies. Tuxedo set things off with a fan favorite from their first album, along with two from their latest, before closing it out with a red light special.

I am surprised to hear the music described as funk, because to me this is all pretty simple disco dance music, fun and catchy and instantly forgettable.

My favorite thing about “Do It” is the fun, watery, almost farty synth sound.  Hawthorne has a pleasant voice and it all works fine.  The song segues seamlessly in to “Second Time Around.”  Same basic beat, a change in synth sounds but otherwise it’s not that different.

Sam Wish plays keys and then switches to piano, but One plays the main riffs.  Christian Wunderlich plays very discoey guitars.

Before the final song Hawthorne introduces them and says they are from the West Coast (which elicits mild applause) and it makes him say Ain’t no party like a West Coast party.

For “July” he says they’re going to slow it down and get romantic–they need the disco ball on. It is certainly slower, but it also doesn’t sound all that different.

I could see this being a lot of fun to dance to, but then not remembering what it was you were dancing to.

[READ: July 24, 2017] “An Encounter in the Bronx”

This is a story from Jaeggy’s new collection translated by Gini Alhadeff.  I found it rather puzzling to say the least.

It begins as one thing and turns into something else entirely all in the span of a few paragraphs.

The first line says that the narrator is in a restaurant with Oliver.  The story ends in the restaurant as well.  So far so good.

But before the restaurant they went to his freezing home.  Oliver loathes the heat.  She was surprised by how much he hated it.  The narrator is the opposite.  She covers up from any cold.  There is much detail about his she gets cold–her neck, her hands.  (more…)

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Antonio di Benedetto–“The Guide Dog of Hermosilla” (Harper’s, May 2017)

Posted in All Songs Considered, Antonio di Benedetto, Dogs, Harper's, Huh?, Jay Som, Martina Broner, Short Story, Surreal, Tiny Desk Concert on July 27, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: JAY SOM-Tiny Desk Concert #634 (July 10, 2017).

I’d heard Jay Som’s “The Bus Song” and one other song from a few years back.  There was much I liked about the song.  I like the way the whole band chants “but I like the bus” during the second verse but more impressive is the way the chorus soars to great high notes (even more unexpected is the high notes that come from drummer Zachary Elsasser.

But aside from that I didn’t know much about Jay Som

Jay Som is the project of 23-year-old Melina Duterte, who has been creating music for the past 10 years or so on a multitude of instruments, from guitar to trumpet. Though she played every instrument on her newest record Everybody Works, her touring band here at the Tiny Desk gave a rougher edge to some of the more premeditated sounds on her wonderful album.

I know “The Bus Song” from All Songs Considered and that’s because:

Of the three songs they chose to bring to the Tiny Desk, one was a personal favorite from Everybody Works: “The Bus Song,” which is a perfect swirl of stream-of-consciousness:

Take your time
Won’t be long till our car breaks down
Your hands in mine
Feel like a firefighter when I take off your shoes

Before concluding with a thoughtful nod to her partner:

Take time to figure it out
I’ll be the one who sticks around
And I just want you to lead me
And I just want you to need me

It’s lyrics like this, alongside the comfy, no-frills directness of Duterte’s delivery, which make Jay Som feel so welcoming and refreshing.

Even though Melina is the leader of the band I was surprised to hear that the lead guitar work comes from Oliver Pinnell–she adds some great, interesting rhythm chords.   But mostly she focuses on singing. Her voice isn’t amazing or noteworthy, it’s just very nice and gentle (and tuneful).

“Baybee” opens with some fast high bass notes from Dylan Allard and then a soaring guitar line from Pinnell that sounds kind of like a synth.  Melina plays interesting chords to support him.  There’s cool moment when everything kind of slows down and grows woozy before resuming again.  The song is a little slick, but I like it.  She and Oliver play little solos off each other at the end.

Before the final song she says she’ll “wet my whistle,” and then says “well, it’s the end of the road. This is the last song ever.  We’re going to be gone forever.”

Oliver then chimes in, “I’m picturing the You Tube comments now, just like uhhh.” [I have no idea where he’s going with that].  Melina jokes, “Why are the so sweaty?”

Opening “I Think You’re Alright” she plays a chord, Oliver plays the same chord and then Dylan plays it.  It’s a smooth almost sultry song–again not what I expected from her.  Oliver sings high backing vocals.  The song feels like its coming to and end with Dylan scratching along the bass strings and then she and Oliver plays some slow chords that sure sounds like it’s going to end. And then she sings the slow final verse which ultimately ends pretty abruptly.

The set is pretty surprising given that the other song I know from her “1 Billion Dogs” is really fuzzy and almost shoegazey.  I’m curious to hear more from her.

[READ: May 10, 2017] “The Guide Dog of Hermosilla”

This is a fascinatingly told story translated by Martina Broner.

A man on his regular route sees a homeless man under a bridge.  The man has a dog.  The man doesn’t beg or really do anything.  And the dog seems to have infinite patience (the narrator is impressed with the dog–“his understated style was interesting.”

Then there’s this sentence:

One day, things were going well–I wasn’t getting laid off, not yet–and I wanted to show that I was grateful.

It’s the “not yet” part that I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be forecasting or concern.  But it hangs over the story like a cloud. (more…)

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T.S. Hawkins–Some Recollections of a Busy Life: The Forgotten Story of the Real Town of Hollister California (2015)

Posted in Animals, Autobiographies, Babies, Cole Porter, Dave Eggers, Death, Elvis Presley, Harry S. Truman, History, Horses, Hospitals, John F. Kennedy, Ludwig van Beethoven, McSweeney's, Neville Chamberlain, Set at School, Sonny Bono, T.S. Hawkins, The Glenn Miller Orchestra, Travel, Vanilla Fudge, Winston Churchill, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Work on July 22, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: VANILLA FUDGE-The Beat Goes On (1968).

I thought the first Vanilla Fudge album was odd–covers of contemporary songs done slowly and with little resemblance to the originals.

Well, this second album was downright bizarre.

It  doesn’t really have any “songs.”  Rather, it’s more of a collage–a history of recorded sound as interpreted by the Vanilla Fudge.  There’s a few snippets of classical pieces, some rocks songs, historical vocal recordings and final words from the guys in the band.  All sandwiched between snippets of them playing The Beat Goes On, the Sonny Bono song.

It’s a weird enough record on its own, but when you read just a little but about it, it gets even weirder.  According to the Wikipedia entry:

The group was at odds with producer George “Shadow” Morton during recording, as Morton made his own concept album without significant input from them. In the liner notes of Sundazed Records’ 1990 CD reissue, the band denounces it as a failed experiment on the producer’s part.     ….
In his autobiography Stick It!, Carmine Appice declares: “Even listening to it now – which, let me tell you, I rarely fucking do – The Beat Goes On sounds like an album that Spinal Tap would be wary of making.”

The album opens with an instrumental “sketch.”  It is primarily the Vanilla Fudge keyboard sound with some occasional piano and guitar sounds washing in and out.

After a recording of Thomas Edison reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb, a ponderous voice says PHASE ONE and they start with the first iteration of “The Beat Goes On.”

Then comes what is now probably the fourth surprise already.  The track is titles “Eighteenth Century: Variations on a Theme by Mozart: “Divertimento No. 13 In F Major”” and it’s 45 seconds of Mozart on harpsichord!  It’s followed by a 45 second version of “Old Black Joe” by Stephen Forster, this time sung quietly with acoustic guitar and bass.

That was meant to represent the nineteenth century.  The twentieth century has a bit more diversity with Cole Porter, Glenn Miller and Elvis.  There’s rags on piano with a trap drum.  “In the Mood” sounds like it’s in a roller rink and “Hound Dog” sounds really tinny and awful.  The music is played perfectly, but the quality of the recording is deliberately (I assume) poor.

The next section is called The Beatles, because they clearly didn’t record enough Beatles on their first album.  But this time they do it more like the originals, not like the Vanilla Fudge.  In less than two minutes, they run through excerpts from “I Want To Hold Your Hand,” “I Feel Fine,” “Day Tripper,” “She Loves You,” and “Hello Goodbye.”   Except that for the final track they sing “You say hello and I say goodbye…”  And they laugh into…

PHASE TWO.  This has another version of “The Beat Goes On” followed by six minutes of Beethoven (if you;re keeping track, Beethoven was before the 20th century).  They play “Fur Elise” & “Moonlight Sonata” on keys with bass.  But it builds up with rocking drums and   build rocking with drums and keys and guitar.  It gets crazy fast and loud.

Then another version of “The Beat Goes On” followed by another version of it (the original would have switched sides at this point.

PHASE THREE is called “Voices in Time” and it is literally 8 minutes of historical recordings by: Neville Chamberlain, Winston Churchill, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Harry S. Truman and John F. Kennedy.

Then on to PHASE FOUR which after one version of “The Beat Goes On” is talking sections with the band members.  They are labelled “Merchant/The Game is Over”

Vinnie on guitar says a few things concluding with “As life goes on, the beat goes on.”  Tim on bass does an “interview” in which he (or someone) asks him questions which he answers–about sex, politics and ice cream among other things.  He sounds pretty much  like an ass.

Carmine says “I play drums.  Listen to my drums if you wanna hear me talk.”  And finally after some Indian style music comes Mark the lead vocalist.  He uses his time to read a bit of the Bible, a passage about Moab.

The whole business ends with the longest yet version of “The Beat Goes On.”

The CD comes with a Bonus Phase.  There’s a cover of The Beatles’ “You Can;t Do That” and an original  These two songs are certainly the highlight, especially their original song “Come By Day, Come By Night.”  I love the bassline and choral voices.  This really points out what a waste it was not to record their own songs.

The sixties were a weird time.

[READ: July 22, 2017] Some Recollections of a Busy Life

The beginning of this book includes Dave Eggers’ essay that was in the New Yorker, July 20, 2015 issue.

Read about it here.

T.S. Hawkins was Dave Eggers’ great-great grandfather.  In 1913 Hawkins wrote Some Recollections of a Busy Life and printed 300 copies.  Now 102 years later, Eggers was able to use his press to get it reprinted,

What’s even more disconcerting is that we’re prepared for the book to be 102 years old, but it starts with Hawkins talking about what it was like seventy years ago.  So the beginning of this book is actually set in the 1840s and 50s.  He was born March 6, 1836 in Missouri about 12 miles from the Mississippi River. His grandfather had been from Virginia and then moved to Kentucky and then on to Missouri.

He is writing his recollection not believing that the general public would care about them but he hopes his children and grandchildren might be interested in the changes which have taken places over the years of their grandfather’s life.

He grew up West of the Mississippi with no railroads and no telegraphic or telephonic communication with the rest of the world.  News in the East took weeks to reach them.  Electrical lighting was a thing undreamed of.  They made their own soap with the ashes from their fires.  Their clothes were homemade. (more…)

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Roger Lewinter–“The Pet” (Harper’s, October, 2016)

Posted in Barenaked Ladies, Canadian Music, Christy Moore, Gordon Lightfoot, Harper's, Jane Siberry, Lawrence Gowan, Rachel Careau, Rheostatics, Rhinegold, Roger Lewinter, Short Story, Spiders, Translation, tagged on July 16, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Penguin Club, Ottawa ON, (March 13, 1993).

This is the only show from 1993 on Rheostatics Live and it is a really good one.  The sound quality is excellent and there’s a fantastic selection of songs.  The author of the show is listed as the CBC, and at the end of the show Dave mentions the CBC, so I’m assuming this was broadcast on the radio.

They open with “Who” the beginning of which is cut off, but only a little.

Martin says he wishes people could move closer because he can’t see them–move your tables up.  And then he sings a beautiful, mellow “Northern Wish.”  The guitars are gentle and echoing and the backing vocals are truly wonderful.  As the song ends a complicated clapping rhythm begins, which can only mean the introduction to “Rain Rain Rain” a song I feel they don’t play that much and which is really fun to hear–that wild guitar riff combined with those lyrics–“I’m feeling really down.”

“Soul Glue” opens with some great guitar sounds from Martin and with Tim playing the main riff on the bass.  “Greensprouts” has a rollicking wild middle section and is quite fun.  There’s a quiet section of the song as Dave Clark “brushes it up.”  During the quiet Dave Bidini says “if you know how it goes you can just start singing” and soon you can hear people shouting it in the back.

For “Fan Letter to Michael Jackson, Dave introduces it: “This is a love letter to Michael Jackson.  Honest.”  There’s a “Sweet Child of Mine” intro (even way back then).  Bidini says, “If Axl Rose wrote a letter to Michael Jackson, wouldn’t the world be a better place?”  It’s a rocking version that segues right into “RDA.”

Then there’s a few oddball songs in a row, like the one Martin says is “Only Beginning, The Sickening Song.”  This is played on accordion and has a great heavy riff (this one isn’t played too often either).  It’s followed by the decidedly weird and jazzy “Full Moon Over Russia.”

Bidini would like to dedicate this night to “our four Juno nominations.”  Tim Vesely for home gardening and would-e fashion plate posturing.  Clark chimes in: “Dave Bidini for best athletic supporter.”  Martin Tielli for most bizarre bone structure (up against Gowan… a real tight race) and Dave Clark for spreading garlic soup to the peoples republic of Ireland.  Later, Dave thanks Gowan, who is Lawrence Gowan, formerly of Rhinegold currently the singer and keyboardist of Styx.

Martin introduces “Record Body Count” as “this is an interesting song.”  It’s followed by their cover of Jane Sibbery’s “One More Colour.”

They give a little talk about the Green Sprouts music fan club.  But first Clark jokes, “We’re about to embark on a song that requires a lot of tuning, it’s a kind of Indian raga.”  Then Bidini says, “You can buy a sticker for a dollar… or maybe we’ll give you one (they only cost us a nickle to make). I don’t care if you buy anything, just write to us.”

Palomar sounds great on a an echoed (12 string?) guitar.  And then “King of the Past” opens with some strange guitar tuning and then it settles into beautiful version of the song.

“Self Serve” lopes along, and when he gets to the line, “What went wrong with Martin, is he dumb?” (someone shouts NO!) and you hear Clark go (enh?).  It’s followed by stellar versions of “California Dreamline” and “Horses.”  Martin makes some great sound effects and Bidini shouts a refrain of “are you bitter?”  As the song nears its end Bidini asks, “Does someone want to be on CBC radio singing the last verse of “Horses” by the Rheostatics?”  And someone (unnamed) does.

After the encore there’s  great verse version of “Queer” with fantastic harmonies.  Dave Clark takes a drum solo at the end of Queer which segues into a spritely version of “Alomar” that segues back to the end of “Queer.”  He ends it by singing
I hope you enjoy my new box set” a line from Barenaked Ladies.

“Edmund Fitzgeraldd” is a slow menacing version with great effects from Martin’s guitar.  During the middle of the ending chord, someone sings “I wish I was back home in Derry,” the Christy Moore song.  The song slowly fades out and they end the whole show with the lullaby “You Are Very Star,” a sweet song with whistling and everything and the saying Good night, everybody.

It’s one of the best recordings around.

[READ: December 26, 2016] “The Pet”

This is a very short piece (translated by Rachel Careau) from a collection of short fiction.

The story focuses very specifically on one thing–a spider in the narrator’s room, but I love the fascinating almost throwaway backstory to it.

One evening in August, as I was going to bed in the northeast room, which I had decided finally to use–the connecting wall of the other apartment had been broken through two years earlier…

Now this story is four paragraphs long, and half of the first is dedicated to that.  I found that fascinating. (more…)

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Joy Williams–“Pet Seminary” (Harper’s, August 2016)

Posted in Canadian Music, Diane Williams, Dogs, Excerpt, Flash Fiction, Harper's, Huh?, Pigs, Religion, Rheostatics, Sly & The Family Stone, Sly and the Family Stone, The Kingsmen, The Kinks, The Who, tagged on July 9, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-Mowat Collegiate, Scarborough, ON (1982).

This is (as of June 2017), the oldest Rheostatics show on Rheostatics Live.

And indeed, “Considering it is 34 years old it sounds remarkably good for a show probably taped off of a tape recorder”

This is in their very early days when they were a lot more funk and new wave.

There’s also a big distinction in that the guitar (or maybe keyboard, although I don’t hear any) is played by David Crosby (not that one) rather than Martin Tielli.  This was before Tielli joined the band.

There’s a note that this cassette may have been two sets on one night but it seems more likely that it was two different nights.  Same set list both sets.

The show opens with a recording of “O Canada” that seems to gets stuck as they launch into “National Pride.”  I can’t get over how many bootlegs there are of them playing this song and yet it never made it onto a release.  I feel like the ending using a twisted “Star Spangled Banner” is new (or I guess actually old).

This is one of the first occasion I’ve heard them play The Kinks song “Well-Respected Man.”  Their version is incredibly different and I wouldn’t have even recognized it except for the lyrics:

And he’s oh, so good,
And he’s oh, so fine,
And he’s oh, so healthy,
In his body and his mind

It’s all funk and slaps and a wholly different melody.  The guitar solo is very rudimentary as well–angular and noisy.  They also play Sly and the Family Stone’s “Thank You” with their own flavor to it–again nothing like the original.  It’s so far from the original that the subtitle is “(Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin).”  It feels like every song is pretty much all slap bass –I can’t actually tell who is singing these songs Dave or Tim.

There’s an original “Satellite Dancing” and a cover of “Louie Louie” done in a new wave style with some really high angular guitar chords and a bass solo.

Clark describes “1984 For Those Who Believe” as a political song about “Poland and Russia and the Middle East an all of those fun things that happen in the world today.”

There’s a story that I can’t make out but the end is “We’re the Rheostatics and we’d like you to dance, okay” which segues into a seven minute “Shake Yer Body Thang,” which also has a lengthy funk bass section.

They introduce their “single released three months ago,” “My Generation.”  “It’s a dancing song, too.”  This song did get official release and it also sounds nothing like the original  “Girl in My Magazine” about Nancy Reagan–he keeps it under his bed at night.  It’s got a massive ska feel.  “Man of Action” funky bass and scratchy guitars (and maybe a keyboard?).  It gets cut off before the end.

The second set doesn’t have “O Canada,” but something else as an intro.  But they still open with National Pride and in this version you can really hear him sing,”Can’t live in the USA / too many enemies / can’t live in the USA / that place is not for me.”

“We’re the Rheostatics from Toronto, Ontario, this is a song dedicated to Russ Jones.” It’s called “Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin).”

“Satellite Dancing” from our single: dance and have fun which i hop you all will.  This set seems more fun than the previous one: chants of “dancing!” and a rowdier crowd.

“It’s called ‘Louie Louie’ and its a dance song.”

“1984 For Those Who Believe” is “dedicated to the National Guard, Mr Reagan and all his friends in blue.”  I wish I could hear the words better, I, curious what they’re singing about.

“This is called ‘Shake Your Body Thang’ it’s new and everybody dances, alright?”  There’s cowbell and other percussion during the funk breakdown.  They want to turn the whole building into one big rhythm section–“bang any two things together.”  “We’re going to keep doing this until you get it right…you shouldn’t smoke anyways, eh?”  It’s hard to tell from this recording if the crowd is into it.

A much shorter “My Generation” it feels like a bratty punk version of the song.  “Girl in My Magazine” it’s about Nancy Reagan–he keeps the dirty books in his closet so no one will find them.  And once again, “Man of Action” gets cut off.

It’s hard to believe that this band evolved into Rheostatics.  I wonder what they’d be doing now if they hadn’t morphed so much.

[READ: September 12, 2016] “Pet Seminary”

This piece is actually four excerpted sections from William’s Ninety-Nine Stories of God.

I have had a real problem with Williams’ stories–they just don’t do anything for me.  So having four even shorter ones is not the most exciting prospect.

#29 is a first person account of the narrators childhood in which his class was supposed to visit a slaughterhouse.  Cooler heads prevailed and they did not actually see into the abattoir, by the smell was unforgettable.  Later they learned of a pig who saved a man from drowning.  The owner said that pigs are more intelligent than dogs but are not omniscient. (more…)

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Laurence Yep, Joanne Ryder–A Dragon’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Humans (2015) [audiobook 2015–Susan Denaker]

Posted in Adventure, Advice, Audiobooks, Children's Books, Culture Shock, Dragons, Drawing, End of the World, Friendship, Funny (ha ha), Joanne Ryder, Laurence Yep, Mary GrandPré, Money, Monsters, Supernatural, Susan Denaker, Unfinished series on July 7, 2017| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: January 2017] A Dragon’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Humans

We listened to this book on our recent trip to Vermont. dragon

It was utterly unnerving to have the delightful Susan Denaker read this book because she was the author of the Penderwicks series which we love.  And her voice of Batty in that series is identical to the voice of the main girl, Winnie in this series.  But once we got past that (and it did take a while, we found this story to be fun and enjoyable.

But this story went in a direction I absolutely was not expecting–especially based on the title.

Each chapter has a heading like in an instruction manual for the care and feeding of Humans: If you value your happiness and sanity, take your time and choose your pet wisely.  To train your pet you will need three things patience, patience and above all patience.

And it seems to start out with that premise in mind.

For this book is narrated by a dragon, known as Miss Drake.   As the story opens, Miss Drake is in mourning because her pet, Fluffy, has died. Fluffy is the name she gave to Amelia, and older lady whom the dragon appeared to.  When Fluffy died Miss Drake planned on going to sleep for 20 or 30 years to get over it.  But just two days later, a little girl waltzed into her den–the girl had the key and everything! (more…)

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Trudi Strain Trueit–No Girls Allowed (Dogs Okay) [Secrets of a Lab Rat: Book 1] (2009) [audiobook 2009–Oliver Wyman]

Posted in Audiobooks, C., Children's Books, Dogs, Funny (ha ha), Humiliation, Oliver Wyman, Poo, Pranks, Regrets, Revenge, Series, Set at School, Sisters, Smells, T., Trudi Strain Trueit, Unfinished series, Unlikable main character, Yuck! on July 2, 2017| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: June 29, 2016] No Girls Allowed (Dogs Okay) 

Scab McNally is a clever fourth-grade kid who is always inventing things. But he’s also kind of selfish and pretty mean to his sister.  Isabelle is his twin but because she really uses her brain (She is smart times ten) she has been bumped up from 4th grade to 5th grade.

Isabelle doesn’t understand Scab’s brand of cleverness (and mischievousness) and so she writes a daily news report about all of the things that Scab has done to her (and done at school) through the day.  She reads this to her parents every night.  It’s pretty hard for Scab to catch a break at this point.

But obviously, the more Isabelle tells on him the more things he does to her.  He puts cheese in her underwear drawer and dead bugs in her room.

This is all some background to the fact that more than anything else Scab wants a dog.  (There seem to be a lot of books about kids who desperately want a dog).  Scab’s best friend has a dog, Oscar–a wiener dog.  And Scab is super jealous but always happy to help out with Oscar.  Of course, since Isabelle is always attaining on him, his parents don’t think he is responsible to own a dog. (more…)

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Megan McDonald–Stink and the World’s Worst Super-Stinky Sneakers (2007)/Stink and the Great Guinea Pig Express (2007) [audiobook 2008–Nancy Cartwright]

Posted in Advice, Audiobooks, Capybara, Children's Books, Elves, Funny (ha ha), Guinea Pigs, Megan McDonald, Nancy Cartwright, Smells, The Simpsons, Yuck! on July 1, 2017| Leave a Comment »

[LISTENED TO: April 15, 2016] Stink: the World’s Worst Super-Stinky Sneakers & the Great Guinea Pig Express

T. was listening to this book in her room and I said, hey, that’s Bart Simpson.  And indeed, the book was being read by Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart (as well as Nelson, Ralph, and dozens of other minor characters).  The next day we went on a car ride and she asked to listen to the stories.  So we did.  I heard the end of the Guinea Pig story and then all of the sneaker story.  Well, I couldn’t have a half finished story in my head so I had to listen to the beginning of the guinea pig story too, and call it all finished.

I knew of Stink from the Judy Moody books.  Stink is Judy’s younger brother (and she’s pretty awful in these books.  I don’t recall if she was awful in her own books).  But that could just be because this is about Stink and not her.  We learn how Stink got his name: Judy started singing a song about him in which stink was the chorus.  And it just stuck.

Stink goes by Stink in school and elsewhere.  And apparently he has a super duper sniffer (this may just be a coincidence and not a side effect of being called Stink).  (more…)

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Camille Bordas–“Most Die Young” (New Yorker, January 2, 2017)

Posted in #ITMFA, #RESIST, Advice, Camille Bordas, Death, Dogs, donald tRUMP, End of the World, Fears, Funny (ha ha), Funny (strange), Futility, Maren Morris, New Yorker, Short Story, Threats, Tiny Desk Concert on June 3, 2017| Leave a Comment »

SOUNDTRACK: MAREN MORRIS-Tiny Desk Concert #603 (March 6, 2017).

Maren Morris is hugely successful, but I had never heard of her.  It turns out that

Four days before the 26-year-old strolled into NPR’s offices, she’d pulled off a mighty duet with Alicia Keys during the 59th annual Grammys ceremony and taken home the evening’s award for Best Country Solo Performance.

Despite the “big, crossover-friendly gestures on her major-label debut,” she’s out of my musical area.  But I can see why people like her–she has major pop leanings in her delivery and its sprinkled with pop country that everyone seems to like.

And that first song is really fun.  Of course, the music sounds so much like Steve Miller’s “The Joker” that that may be why it feels so catchy.  There’s a weird almost hip hop delivery to the song despite its obvious country bass.  I mean check out the words:

Boy I’d be rich, head to toe Prada
Benz in the driveway, yacht in the water
Vegas at the Mandarin, high roller gambling
Me and Diddy drippin’ diamonds like Marilyn
No I wouldn’t be covered in all your IOU’s
Every promise you made me would have some real value
‘Cause all the little lies rolling on your lips
Is money falling from the sky (ka-ching, ka-ching) shit I’d be rich

The blurb continues:

She’s cultivated a soulful, irreverent pop-country aesthetic that trades in trucks, bros and beer for a vintage Mercedes, female friendships and boxed wine — and which owes much of its charm to details that shine in a stripped-down setting. Take, for instance, the cash-register ka-ching that punctuates the chorus of the oh-so-sick burn “Rich,” or the intimate, after-hours raggedness in her voice as she sings of jaded heartache in “I Could Use A Love Song.”

So I can respect that.

“I Could Use A Love Song” feels country but her delivery has a massive pop song styling (that’s the crossover appeal, I guess).

She jokes that this is the quickest show she’s ever done.  She sounds genuinely shocked that she won a Grammy the other night.

The final song “My Church,”  is very country sounding (that bass) and singing that she “cussed on a Sunday.”

It’s my least favorite of the three.  I particularly dislike the R&B inflections at the end which puts my two least favorite musical genres together.

But overall she is adorable and charming and she looks to be about 12 years old up there with those two larger musicians supporting her.  And even if I won’t listen to her, I wish her success because she seems really sweet.

[READ: January 11, 2017] “Most Die Young”

I enjoyed this story quite a lot.  I loved how it was structured and the surprising twists it had.

The title comes from a statement by Professor Cruze: “young” means under the age of 38.  Cruze was referring to a Malaysian tribe known as the Pawong.  The Pawong, she explained, have no defenses or weapons.  They are an easy target.  It doesn’t even occur to them that they could respond to attackers.

The narrator first heard about this tribe from her ex-boyfriend Glauber (Glauber is a name, in case you’re wondering).  He mentioned the Pawong tribe as an insult to her saying that she was ruled by fear and could be made a God of the Pawong tribe.

Professor Cruze explained that shyness, fear and timidity are highly valued among the Powang.  To be angry is not to be human; but to be fearful is. (more…)

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