SOUNDTRACK: hiatus
[READ: April 2022] The Fifth Elephant
This is a story of Ankh-Morpork and progress. Ankh-Morpork has just introduced a series of clacks–semaphore towers–to provide quick communication between distant places. It’s expensive, but businesses in the know are all getting c-mail addresses.
Incidentally, the movie The Fifth Element came out in 1997 and was clearly an inspiration for the title–although very little about that film falls into place here. Rather, the fifth elephant of the title is believes to have been one of the elephants who held up the world but who fell to the Disc and caused craters of fat deposits that are found underground in Uberwald (which produces the best fat on the disc). Fat deposits are a very valuable commodity.
Uberwald factors heavily in this story. Ankh-Morpork now has the largest dwarf city on the Disc. And the progressive dwarfs in Ankh-Morpork are able to sway elections back home–where the more traditional dwarfs (deep down dwarfs) don’t think highly of the dwarfs who have left.
An upcoming election for Dwarf king was swayed by the Ankh-Morpork contingent and Rhys Rhysson, a progressive dwarf is set to become King. But this has made many old school dwarfs very unhappy and rumors of an internal war start brewing.
Uberwald functions because the various contingents–werewolves, dwarfs, vampires–have a stable balance that keeps them all at bay. But this dwarfish trouble allows for one group–the werewolves–to jump in and try to seize some control. And one werewolf family (who just happens to be Angua’s family, from whom she is rather estranged) coordinates the theft of the Scone of Stone, the hundreds-of-years old dwarfish bread that is required for all coronations
The coronation of the new king is a big deal and all of the countries of the Disc will be represented. Of course, Lord Vetenari suggests that Sam Vimes would be the ideal ambassador in such a situation. Vimes doesn’t want to do it of course, although Lady Sybil would dearly love a vacation. So Sam brings a local dwarf contingent, Cherry Longbottom, and a troll (for security) Detritus, one of the smarter trolls out there.
But Angua, upon getting information from an old friend, Gavin, flees Ankh-Morpork with no information for anyone. Carrot is concerned (and maybe a little jealous) but in his own low-key way, of course. Then Gaspode, the talking dog, winds him up by saying how handsome Gavin (a wolf) is. Carrot and Gaspode set off after them–a fools errand if ever there was, as a werewolf who does not want to be found will not be found.
But Carrot is unsure when he’ll be back so he effectively resigns. And with Vimes away, that leaves Fred Colon in charge. Colon’s plot is minor, but it’s pretty funny. Being in charge goes to his head and he messes everything up, mostly because he’s afraid of being discovered as a fraud.
Vimes travels to Uberwald and encounters some interesting characters along the way. Not the least of which is the person whom Vetinari has assigned to accompany him–a diplomat with suspiciously assassin-like behaviors. Vimes is concerned for his own safety but the assassin assures him that he is not the target–assassins may be many things but they are honor bound to their contracts.
He also meets with the diplomatic families from the Dwarfs, the Vampires and the Werewolves. Everyone is suspicious of him–their spy networks have heard all about him, of course. The vampires obviously featured heavily in Carpe Jugulum, and they are clearly not the bad guys here–even if they are very creepy. Indeed, Lady Margolota, Uberwald’s most senior vampire, has taken a pledge not to drink blood–just as Vimes has done for alcohol.
Vimes slowly earns the respect of the Dwarfs as he reveals some pretty good insights into their situation. He also learns that Rhys seems open to someone like Cheery actually showing her feminine side (the whole thing with gender and dwarfs was interesting in the 90s and it is fascinatingly prescient in the 2020s). He also helps to investigate the theft of the Scone of Stone–the mystery has a satisfyingly surprising and amusing conclusion.
I had often though that Lady Sybil has been kind of pushed to the background–especially since she was such a strong and vibrant character to start with. But her training in diplomacy and proper breeding give her a massive edge in this story and she comes at the perfect time to secure some great business deals for Ankh-Morpork.
And she also revels that she is pregnant.
I feel like this was one of the first books that I really remember reading in this series. Which is very strange if you ask me. I don’t remember much about it (which is really weird given some of the rather dramatic evets–like Vimes being chased through the snow by werewolves) but I remembered the installation of the clacks as being a really big deal.
I guess I care more about the economy of the disc than the people–how Vetinarian.
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