I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: ANAL TRUMP-The First 100 Songs (2018).

On Election Day 2020, what better music to listen to than Anal Trump? 

Anal Trump are a grindcore act made up of Rob and Travis Trump.

The true identities of Rob and Travis Trump remain shrouded in mystery. Are they the unwanted bastard children of the Philanderer-in-Chief? Regular citizens transformed into angry mutants by the deluge of toxic waste spewing from the 45th President’s mouth? Or simply two dudes from high-profile San Diego musical acts who decided to pay tribute to grindcore pioneers Anal Cunt through the words of a man who embodies that band’s name?

Indeed, the band is made up of Rob Crow (from Pinback, Goblin Cock and a dozen other bands) and Travis Ryan, vocalist for Cattle Decapitation.  They write classic grindcore songs.  The longest song on this collection is 29 seconds and it feels like an epic compared to the rest, most of which are around 3 seconds.

Most of the songs have a sample of tRUMP speaking (which is certainly a turnoff) that’s usually followed by a blast of noise and inaudible growling.

The First 100 Songs produced, recorded, mixed, and mastered by Rob Trump, boasts a hundred songs in eleven minutes — their entire recorded output to date. From 2016’s pre-election That Makes Me Smart! EP all the way through the newer material contained in Thoughts, Prayers, and The Golden Age of Willful Ignorance, this truly exhaustive overview covers all the bases. With songs based on actual quotes by the man (“I Like The Soldiers Who DON’T Get Captured”) to creative interpretations (“My Cabinet Is Nuanced As Shit”) to Putnam-esque bon mots (“Renewable Resources Are Gay”), there’s a smorgasbord of Trumpiliciousness! According to Rob, their material has a universal appeal: “One of the things about this stuff is that, since most of it is taken right from his mouth or ideology, a Trumpster should be fine with it as much as a Bernie person would enjoy laughing at it. It’s just a mirror and that, in itself, is terrifying.”

This album can be purchased on CD (all 12 minutes of it).  There’s a couple of songs where I thought I could hear lyrics,  There’s a couple of songs where there was actually a melody (and one song where you could actually hear a bass line).  But mostly this is just a lot of short noisy songs.

Rob and Travis Trump aren’t gonna fill your ears with talk of universal healthcare or equal voting rights or any of that socialist stuff — although they donated 100% of the proceeds from their EPs to non-profit organizations like the ACLU and Planned Parenthood. They just want to point out that the most powerful man in the world is a hate-mongering clown, using shrieks and micro-riffs as their chosen vehicle. Anal Trump will soon take this show on the road with help from Justin Trump on bass and John Putin on drums, but as for their future plans? “I just want this ugly chapter of human history to finally be over.”

The best part of the album are the song titles.   Because there are 100, I have put them after the body.  

[WROTE: November 2, 2020] A worldwide embarrassment

Absolutely no story feels appropriate to post on Election Day, this global travesty.

When Barack Obama won all those eons ago, the world felt brighter.  I recall going to the grocery store and seeing another person and we smiled at each other and acknowledged what a good day it was.  

Four years ago, when tRUMP lost the election but became president because of an antiquated system that explicitly denies a democratic election, it was as if a dark cloud spewed bile all over the country.  We were supposed to have our first female president.  She was the most politically qualified person to run for office in my lifetime.  Like her or not, she served our country admirably and was poised to break the glass ceiling that has now grown several layers thicker.

But this year’s election is unlike anything anyone has ever seen. People are afraid.  Justifiably.  tRUMP has encouraged his cult to act out however they want.  He has systematically removed any oversight on his behavior.  And Mitch McConnell has single handedly removed all of the checks and balances that made our government a tripartite system and not a tyranny.

The shameless removal of the things that made our country a beacon of hope for others has been shocking to witness. 

Every week something new comes up that not only should disqualify tRUMP from holding office, it should put him in jail.  And yet he will actually win the vote in some states.  It is mind numbing.  The man has committed tax fraud; the man has lied about everything…everything that has happened in the last four years; the man has systematically removed all security measures and then given himself and his clones a tax break; the man has suddenly latched onto being a ‘law and order’ president while breaking countless laws every single day.  And apparently there is no one to prosecute him for these things.

Oh and although many people seem to have forgotten, let’s not forget that over 250,000 Americans have died because of his failures and yet his cultists don’t seem to care.  When tRUMP said he could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and still get elected, he should have said he could shoot 250,000 people.   His possessed worshippers do not care.

If the things that have been happening this election cycle had happened in another countries, we would have scoffed at them and criticized them and possibly even intervened.  And yet no one is intervening here as tRUMP and his goons intimidate voters, disenfranchise voters and do everything in their power–legal or not–to make sure that few votes are heard.  The lengths that Republican operatives are going to to eliminate ballots is shocking.  And the fact that tRUMP has made the election seem flawed before it even happened is nothing short of impeachable. 

As his cult members go around intimidating others (they actually blocked traffic on the Tappan Zee Bridge and the Garden State Parkway just because they could), those of us who just want a peaceful country sit by helplessly wondering what happened to our country.

These thugs who claim to be patriots are literally stripping away everything that they claim to love about our country.  Freedom of speech; the right to vote; personal freedoms–all violently ripped away. 

Democrats are apparently helpless to do anything except hope that the vote is so large in favor of Biden that all of tRUMPs pathetic cries for a recount will look as pathetic as they actually are. 

Our fairly elected leaders could do nothing while the Republicans made a mockery of the Supreme Court through the most outrageously undemocratic means since the last time MCconnell did it four years ago.  And now the Democrats seem to be sitting back and hoping that everything goes well for the country.  

It’s heartening to see that the people you are voting for behave civilly and with kindness in their hearts.  And yet it is so disheartening to watch as the cult of tRUMP tarshes every decency that exists and remains unpunished for each and every transgression.

He is above the law.  It’s obvious we won’t have a decision made by Wednesday morning.  It is going to be litigated probably through the end of the month.  There is likely to be violence.  And our country will become more of a global embarrassment as it rapidly morphs into a dictatorship.

How will goodness ever win when the other side is cheating every step of the way?

We have another chance for a woman to break through the glass ceiling.  A woman I wanted to be President right from the start.  Last election I wanted my daughter to have something to be proud of from her country.  This election I want the same thing.  Don’t let him steal it again.

Lock him up.

~~~~~~

Here’s the song titles for the Anal Trump album, and the EPs they com from.

That Makes Me Smart EP:

1 You Gotta Treat Em Like Shit
2 PTSD Is Gay
3 Some Mexicans Aren’t Rapists
4 I Like The Soldiers Who DON’T Get Captured
5 My Daughter Is A Piece Of Ass
6 Poor People Are Too Stupid To Get A Loan From Their Parents
7 There’s My African American!
8 Blood Coming Out Of Her Wherever
9 Mexican Judges Don’t Count
10 Journalism Is Gay
11 I’d Date My Daughter
12 Grab Em By The Pussy
13 Take His Coat
14 Breast Feeding Is Gay
15 Ted Nugent Is Cool
16 Dave Mustaine Is Cool
17 Trump Tower Has The Best Taco Bowl
18 Poll Watcher
19 Some Things Saddam Hussein Did Well
20 Changing Diapers Is Gay
21 Build That Wall
22 Alex Jones Is Smart
23 I’m In Astonishingly Excellent Health
24 Stay In Your Pens
25 911 Was Inconvenient For Me, Personally
26 Make America Great Again
27 Nobody Respects Women More Than Me
28 Harriet Tubman Is, Like, A 3
29 I Demand An Apology!
30 That Makes Me Smart!

– —

To All The Broads I’ve Nailed Before EP:

31 Mammograms Are Gay
32 Nasty Woman
33 Before I Proceed, I’d Like To Hear The Other Side Of The Argument Against Cervical Cancer
34 Flip Your Panties
35 The Fat Picture
36 If I Don’t Respect Women, Then How Come I Own A Beauty Pageant?
37 Some Of My Best Friends Know Some Woman That They Still Have Yet To Sexualize
38 The Trump Rule
39 Working Wives
40 Whom I’d Sleep With 2000 (In Order)

— –

If You Thought Six Million Jews Was A Lot Of People, You Should’ve Seen My Inauguration EP:

41 Take The Hebe Outta Holocaust
42 The Old State Department Library
43 Christian Discount
44 Race Detector
45 Anne Frank Memorial Bagel Chips
46 Let’s See Some I.D.
47 If It’s Alright With Putin
48 The ACLU Is Gay!
49 Nuclear Football Photo-Op
50 Does This Cross Make Me Look Fat?

– –

If You Wanted To Qualify For Health Insurance, Then Maybe You Shouldn’t Have Gotten Raped? EP

51 Sick People Are Gay
52 For All My Friends!!!
53 Asking For It?
54 Victory Lap
55 Old People Are Gay
56 The Jobs You’ll Get
57 It’s My Hat Now!
58 Can You Believe It?
59 Riot Receipt
60 Kill The Poor, Then Fuck The Poor, Then Bill Their Families

– –

Make America Say Merry Christmas Again EP:

61 Make America Say Merry Christmas Again!
62 Baby, It’s Cold Outside
63 Jingle Pence
64 It’s Always A White Christmas For Jeff Sessions
65 The Bible Is My Favorite Book
66 Santa Is Real, But Climate Change Is A Hoax
67 Is Alex Jones Doing Sandy Hook Clause Again This Year?
68 Where’s My Parade?
69 Tic Tacs And Mistletoe
70 Carol Of The Pence

– –

Thoughts EP:

71 My Cabinet Is Nuanced As Shit
72 Normalize It!
73 I Only Like The Prequels
74 Where’s My Apology?
75 What’s A Few Dead Kids Between Business Partners?
76 I Alone Can Fix It
77 The “Southern White House” IS Totally A Thing!
78 Can’t Get To Heaven Fast Enough
79 Melanie (A Love Song)
80 Droppin’ Bombs While Droppin’ Bombs While Droppin’ Bombs

– –

Prayers EP:

81 Faith Initiative
82 Biblically Qualified
83 A Soft Sensuality
84 Potty Law!
85 A Widow’s Applause (Delicious)
86 Checks/Balances/Gay
87 It’s Just Business
88 Can A Brother Get An RT?
89 The Hand Shake
90 See Sex Tape

– –

The Golden Age Of Willful Ignorance EP:

91 Autocorrect Is Gay
92 Unpresidented
93 Renewable Resources Are Gay
94 “Experts”
95 Computers Are Stupid
96 Rational Discourse Is Gay
97 Last Night In Sweden
98 Human Checkers
99 The President Of Australia Is Gay
100 I’m Like A Smart Person