SOUNDTRACK: KISS-Hot in the Shade (1989).
Before this album came out, Paul Stanley did a little club tour. My friends Matt and Nick and I got to see him in Wilkes Barre, PA. It was a pretty great show, and intimate in a way that Kiss shows can never be. So we were pretty psyched for this new album. And yes, this album holds special memories or me because we used to listen to it a lot after the show.
The biggest problem with this album is bloat. I don’t have any kind of evidence to back this up, but this was the first Kiss album that took advantage of the compact disc’s length. And so it’s easily twenty minutes longer than most Kiss albums (and the later albums had some filler on the already). Plus it’s almost longer than Kiss’ first two albums combined. That’s just too much.
Even Kiss’ weaker albums usually start with a good song. Not so much Hot in the Shade. “Rise to It” is pretty generic even by mid 80s Kiss standards. They try to make it fun with the Ri–e i-e-i part, but it doesn’t quite make it. “Betrayed” is a bit more of a rocker and is quite a good song. Lyrically it’s not so great (it’s funny to think of Gene Simmons trying o be down with the common man), but it rocks pretty hard. My friend Matt and I liked “Hide Your Heart” quite a bit when it came out. The chorus: Ah ah ah ah, hey hey hey do do do do do do do do do” is pretty bad though. “Prisoner of Love” musically sounds like Kiss of old, until the verses come in. “Read My Body” is really catchy until you realize it sounds just like “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” That’s embarrassing. Although the metaphor is well done, at least. “Slap in the Face” might as well be “Let’s Put the X in Sex” from Thrashes Smashes and Hits.
Then comes the cheesiest ballad in Kiss’ history—actually written by Michael Bolton, yes Michael Bolton. And man do I love it. Paul is in full voice, he sounds great, the harmonies are spot on. It is the cheesiest metal ballad ever, but I never get tired of it. It even has an acoustic guitar solo—pre-made for Unplugged! “Silver Spoon” is a good rocker, with a fun chorus. Although the gospel singers at the end are a bit overkill—it seems silly to have invited them in for 90 seconds of singing. “Cadillac Dreams” is just a bit too close to a Beatles song for my liking. “King of Hearts” is a decent song, and “The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away” (were Kiss really hard up for money? what’s up with these lyrics?). We had an in-joke on my dorm floor, so I can never take this song seriously (that may also be because they steal the “Hey man” right out of David Bowie’s mouth). Love Me to Hate You” is pretty generic although catchy. “Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell” is also a decent song.
“Little Caesar” is the first (and only, really) song that Eric Carr sang lead vocals on. As a singer he’s a really good drummer. The song is pretty generic too and is unfortunately given the same name as a bad pizza company. “Boomerang” has a good fast pace (once again, not unlike a Van Halen song).
[READ: August 11, 2012] “The Cryptozoologist”
This is yet another short story broken down into lots of little sections. What’s neat about the way that this one is done is that because the narrator is a cryptozoologist, each section is headed by a cryptid (animals whose existence has not been proven). But in addition to discussing these animals, the sections also describe a history of the narrator’s life. His life in this field started when his grandfather told him about a snake which latched onto the end of its own tail and rolled away from its pursuers (section title: Hoop Snakes). His grandfather never lied, so it had to be true.
It proceeds through The Mušhuššu (a serpent dragon spoken of in ancient Babylon), through the Jenny Hanivers (jeunes d’Anvers), into The Wolf of Ansbach (believed to be an old Bürgermeister who was transformed into a werewolf), and on to The Batutut, a monkey man in Laos. Most of these sections describe the origins of the cryptids (and his lack of success at spotting them), but The Batutut section is also about himself and how he was in the war when this particular cryptid entered his life.
Then we move on to The Altamaha-Ha in Southeastern Georgia, while Giglioli’s Whale, which had two dorsal fins dates to 1867. The Mongolian Death Worm, said to live in the sands of the Gobi desert is a cryptid that he actually experienced in the American desert. he didn’t see it, but he could feel its presence. The Madagascar Tree is a killing tree–it looks like a pineapple and eats sacrifices. This story was told by two adventurers who saw the tree eat a woman. The best part of is that there is no proof that the two men who are credited with telling the story actually existed themselves. (more…)
I Just Read About That... 