I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: BENEVENTO/RUSSO DUO-Play Pause Stop (2006).

This is the final release (so far) by the Benevento/Russo Duo.  There were two earlier ones that have not be reissued yet.  This follows in a similar style to the previous one, with great drumming and a wonderfully full sound from Benevento’s keys.

“Echo Park” is one of the shorter songs. It starts with simple piano melody and distorted washes of sound.  It turns into a super catchy, bouncy song.  Similarly, “Soba” starts slow and moody and turns into a rocking rager.

“Best Reason To Buy The Sun” features a lot of wild drumming.  It’s bookeneded by a pretty keyboard.  “Powder” opens with a pretty, staccato guitar melody.  The credits online don’t say who is playing the guitar.  The melody is looped as backwards solos are added.  It’s one of the trippier songs on the record until “Hate Frame” later on.

“Something For Rockets” opens like a Flaming Lips song with soaring chords.  It shifts to a singsong melody on the keys and then returns to the soaring melody.   The best title on the record is clearly “Walking, Running, Viking.”  It’s only 3 minutes long–a simple melody with a catchy solo near the end.

“Hate Frame: is 8 minutes long. It’s centered around a pulsing that sounds like an alarm followed by a rumbling bass.  By the middle of the song the music has turns utterly trippy, shooting off in all directions until it comes crashing back down with some fast frenetic drums.  The disc ends with “Memphis,” a slow loping song that sounds like it would work for a Western.

The bonus tracks are live versions of “Echo Park,” “Soba,” Walking, Running, Viking,” and “Something for Rockets” which all sound like jamming versions of the original.  The biggest change comes in the live version of “Play Pause Stop.”  It runs to nearly eleven minutes and stars with several minutes of noise and nonsense.  It’s surprising how long the noise goes on–they must have been having a blast.

[READ: August 31. 2020] Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come

I bought this book for my son on a whim.  It was his birthday and the title made me laugh.  Now, he’s not much of a reader these days and it’s pretty unlikely that he would read a book like this, anyhow.  I knew when I bought it that if he didn’t read it I would certainly give it a go.

I thought that this book was going to be a funny look at an introvert going out and having a hilariously awkward time at various events.  I assumed it was comic essays.  Boy was I wrong.  This is, as the subtitle says, a book about Jessica Pan’s decision to start doing things.  This may not sound that compelling and when I first realized what the book was, I was a little disappointed–I wanted funny essays.  But then I read on about the things she actually said “yes” to and the book became inspiring (even if I’ll never do the things she did).

Pan starts out by saying that she doesn’t think anyone needs to be “cured” (introvert extrovert or otherwise).  But that she was unhappy and wanted to make a change.

Then she divides people in to two categories–those who would happily go to the Glastonbury festival and those who watch it on TV as if it was a horror show.  Obviously, as a painfully shy introvert she would not be going to Glastonbury.

Nearly one third of the population identify as introverts–people who gain their energy from being alone.  Meanwhile, extroverts get their energy from being around other people.   But there are two other parameters: shy and outgoing.  Some introverts can be confident in groups or when giving a presentation–they just can’t take the stimulation of large crwds for extended periods of time.  Then there are other like her who are shy as well–this is what she felt was making her miss out on things.

Jessica’s parents are extroverts–they love chatting to strangers. But Jessica has always been shy.  She can’t imagine talking to strangers.  She hates going to parties,and the thought of hosting her own makes her break out into a sweat.  It’s frankly amazing she is married–how did she ever talk to her future husband?

Jessica explains that she hit rock bottom in terms of loneliness.  All of her friends had moved away, and she was working her ass off (literally) to win a stupid trophy at a gym (it’s a funny story).  She sat in a sauna realizing life was passing her by as she never talked to anyone.  So she gave herself a year.  She’d talk to people.  She’d go to parties.  She’d give speeches.  And the Everest for shy people–she would perform stand up.

She spoke to professionals in various fields (and I assume paid them) for help doing many of these things

The first step was learning to talk to strangers.  What do you say to them?  How do you approach them? She talked to a coach who helps people through difficulties with interaction.  He asked what she was afraid of… nothing would happen if she asked somebody a stupid question.  They might think she was stupid and then… what?  So he had her go into a train station or somewhere public and ask random people, “Excuse me, I just forgot.  Does England have a Queen and if so whats her name?”  What would the consequences be?

This actually worked and she started to loosen up.  Although the hilarious thing is that two men both said that Victoria was the Queen (were they messing with her or just dumb?).

She then took a class called How to Be Sociable.  The coach told her that if she wanted to make new friends, she had to move beyond small talk when meeting people.  The point is to ask real questions with the intent of becoming closer to people:  Tell me about one of your regrets? is a good question.  She even has a real life experience where she talked with a man on a train.

Then she began doing more extroverted things.  She volunteered for a recorded radio show and told a story in front of an audience.

Then she started friend-dating (she is happily married, but wants some platonic friends).  It is very hard for adults to make new friends, and there are even apps to help.  She tries two apps Bumble BFF and Hey! VINAs.  But she feels that these apps are just like dating–more misses than hits.

Then she learns how to properly network–by developing charisma.  How?  Ask an open-ended question.  Listen to the answer and ask a meaningful follow up like How do you feel about that or What was that like.  When they answer, validate their feeling.

But networking in big groups is hard and unlikely to yield any long term benefits–it’s better to go to smaller events that are more geared to your interests.

Then things grow more intense.  She takes a class in Improv. And it sound fantastic.  Really fun and silly–an opportunity for adults to make things up and just be as light-hearted as they can be.  I would love to find a class like that here.

Then she decides to do some stand up comedy.  This is not something I was ever interested in doing, but her trials and set up are really interesting.  She goes to a class and a the end does a 5 minute show. She’s actually pretty good.  This time.

Then she books a trip through srprs.me which I had never heard of.  Apparently it’s only in Europe.  You send them a certain amount of money and they book a flight and hotel for you–you have no information except the weather. If I as younger and single I totally would have done this.  She learns that sometimes talking to strangers can be a good thing.

Then she tried to do stand up again but this time at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. It…didn’t go as well.

Th biggest surprise for me (and her) was that she went on a trip to Portugal with some friends who were going to do magic mushrooms.  The Harry Potter conclusion to this section is fantastic.

The culmination of the year was to host a big dinner party in which she invited the new friends she had met during the year.  She gets some help and in the end, it goes well.  The comments about her cooking (she’ making Thanksgiving dinner for people who have never had it) are the best.  She even had pescitarians eating Coca Cola Ham.  The funniest thing is to me how much harder other things are than hosting a party.  I mean host a party or do stand up?  There’s no comparison.

This was a really uplifting book and even if I don’t feel the need to change myself that much there are definitely some things I’d like to try.