[LISTENED TO: July 2019] Herbert’s Wormhole
We listened to this book instead of reading it. Looking at the online book right now I see that the illustrations are pretty big part of the book (and they are weird and wonderful). But this audiobook was narrated delightfully by Jonathan Davis.
The story starts with Alex Filby playing a video game. He is just about to defeat that final alien in AlienSlayer 2. His parents are watching him and they almost seem more excited than he is. Why ever would this be? Well, because he promised them that when he defeated every alien in AlienSlayer 2 that he’d put the video games away, play outside and not ask for another game all summer. And they were pretty excited for that.
But when they bring him a present he hopes that maybe it’s AlienSlayer 3-D the greatest video game in history with motion sensor suits and a holographic projector. Could they really be so awesome? Well, no, instead, they gave him a home made T-shirt that says Alien Slayer. Isn’t that wonderful? They also gave him…a child-sized jungle gym.
They have also set up a play date with his next door neighbor Herbert Slewg. Herbert is the weird kid next door who invents things. He talks in big words and looks at things like AlienSlayer 3-D not as the greatest video game of all time but as a cool box with parts he can savage for his own creations. Good grief.
But heck, their town is so boring that maybe a weirdo like Herbert is worth hanging out with. It’s not like Alex can hang out with the girl on the other side of his house, Sammi Clementine. Alex has a major crush on her, but never talks to her because she is so busy. She has classes and lessons from morning until night all summer long.
The visit starts as one might expect, with a hilarious introduction into Herbert’s house. Herbert has rigged everything to be automated and most of it works pretty well. But as Alex walks through the house he is attacked by various gadgets and contraptions that are designed to clean the house–whether Alex is in the way or not. When Alex finally makes it safely into Herbert’s room he sees that Herbert has AlienSlayer 3D and he is super excited! Until he sees that Herbert has indeed taken apart the game to use it for parts in his latest invention the Negative Energy Densifier Suit.
Alex doesn’t even know what to say. But when Herbert suggests that they put them on, he resigns himself to doing so. They go over to the jungle gym (and Alex is embarrassed when Sammi sees them in their suits). Alex doesn’t know what he’s doing, but when he flicks a switch on the suit, it suddenly creates a giant sucking hole in the slide. Alex and Herbert are sucked through this wormhole and wind up 100 years in the future.
And their boring town is no longer so boring.
The town has been peacefully conquered by the G’Daliens, a species that speaks with an Australian accent (which is never explained but which is hilarious in the audio book) and fake mustaches. The aliens all seem really friendly. Except for the one alien they really seem to have upset. his name is Gor-don and he is the janitor in the local museum. The museum which explains how the G’Daliens arrived and saved the human race. It’s full of dioramas of things like “1969: G’Daliens Help Earthlings Locate Their Moon”. It’s all well and good, but Alex and Herbert knocked over one of Gor-don’s displays when they came pounding through the wormhole. They also left a mess of footprints all over his clean floor. Gor-Don always thought the humans were too stupid to help anyway and this is now the last straw.
The boys make it back home safely. Herbert wants nothing to do with going back. But Alex thinks it’s the coolest thing they’ve ever done. And when Sammi sees what is happening she wants in too. She’s even willing to blow off a practice! Alex and Sammi go into the wormhole leaving Herbert behind (and angry)
When they land, they once again mess up Gor-Don’s work and he is going to use the opportunity of these humans coming to their place to cause a lot of trouble for this peaceful way of life. When Alex reveals his shirt that says I love slaying aliens (thanks mom) that’s all the aliens need to believe that Alex, Herbert and Sammi are the enemies.
The end of the book involves a zero gravity T-ball game and a wonderful use of time travel. We meet Herbert’s 111 year-old self who decides to modify Herbert’s plans for the better.
There’s a lot of funny, silly jokes in this book and the adventure was pretty exciting. I’m going to have to check out the book and see what the illustrations contribute to the book.
I knew there were at least one more book in the series so I wasn’t surprised that it ended with a set up for a follow up book. I’m glad I started with the audio book (the accents), but I’ll probably read the other two for the pictures.
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