I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: BOB MARLEY AND THE WAILERS-Legend (1984).

I’m white, so that means I own a copy of this CD (according to the book below).  And I do, because it’s mandatory in college that you play “Jammin'” at every party.

Now, I like ska (yup, still).  I know that ska came from reggae, but to me reggae is just boring ska.  I couldn’t agree more with Barney on How I Met Your Mother:

Ted: Oh, get this, she plays bass in a reggae band. They’re having a show this Friday. How cool is that?

Barney: Oh, does she know that one song? Mm-hm chaka, mm-hm chaka. What’s that song called? Oh, right, it’s called every reggae song.

Although in fairness, listening to this again, it is a rather nice album (I guess I know every song).  I have a personal aversion to some of the really overplayed songs, like “One Love” (because if you go to any Caribbean location they all act like it’s the official slogan of hot weather.  We even have a Christmas ornament from St. John that says “One Love”  WTF?  And I don’t think anyone needs a 7 minute version of “No Woman No Cry.”

But some of the lesser played its (“Could You Be Loved” and just about anything with The Wailers backing him are pretty great).  Although I’ve got to admit I can’t take more than a few songs.  I had to skip through some of the last songs (thank goodness I don’t have the 2 disc version).

[READ: July 26, 2012] Whiter Shades of Pale

Christian Lander created the blog Stuff White People Like.  It was very funny (it hasn’t been updated since Feb 2011, so let’s assume it has run its course).

Lander had released a first book of SWPL back in 2008.  I didn’t read it (blog to book deals were overwhelming in 2008), but I had seen enough of the site to assume it was funny.  One of the funnier jokes when the blog first came out was wondering if the creator was white or not.  (Well, the author photo gives that away, but I won’t).

We grabbed this book at a Borders going out of business sale (sorry Borders, you are missed).  This book continues where the first book left off (I gather).  I don’t know if every entry from the blog made it into the book (the thanks at the end of the book lead me to think not), but I have to assume most of them made it (and maybe there is new stuff in the book too?)So the premise of the book and the blog is that there is stuff that white people like.  “White people” is defined as rich, educated, city dwelling sorta hipsters (but not always), in their 20s to mid 40s (more or less Gen-Xers).  And, in fairness, they may not always be white, sometimes Asians are white too, if they live in Vancouver.  By this definition I am a white person and I do like much of the stuff in this book.

Each entry has a very funny anthropological paragraph or two about it.   It is written from the perspective of a non-white person trying to learn about and possibly befriend a white person (if they so choose).  Indeed, this section of the entries is probably the funniest part–especially when he gives way to break up with white people (having an email address of @aol.com, having a Dave Matthews CD, agreeing with something said on FOX news, saying they went to a second-tier college, etc.  There’s also jokes you can play on white people (since they are guilty about everything, it’s kind of easy).  Like at an ugly sweater party:

“Hey man, nice sweater.  It’s so ugly.”
“Yeah, when my family first got to this country we had to shop at Goodwill, this is the first one my father bought to get him through his first winter here.  Good thing they didn’t have these parties back then, right? He would have died.”
“Geez, man, I’m sorry, you can cut in line for egg nog.”

I can’t honestly remember some of the things from the beginning of the blog, but I was  little disappointed by the beginning of this book as some of the “stuff” I thought was too vague and/or too specific to be really funny.  Ivy League?  Nannies?  Unpaid Internships?  Some of these are geared way to much toward the really rich (which again, is part of the joke and is funny, but they are almost too easy).   It’s when he gets into tangible items that you can recognize as true that this book really shines:

Trader Joe’s, Products Made by People Named Tom, Roller Derby, Single Malt Scotch, Jazz (hilarious), The Onion, Monty Python, Improv, Anthropologie (those three in a row were hilarious).  I especially loved this joke about improv: “There are rumors that there are nonwhite people participating in this activity, but judging by the cast of Saturday Night Live and every sketch comedy show on television, this would appear to be false.”   Or this under Wheat Bread:  “When a white person is asked white or whole wheat they are legally prohibited from saying white.”  Oh, man, and the joke that gardening your own food is cost effective (until you factor in all the money you shell out to make and upkeep a garden–too right!).

Line drawing–not the Obama family

Unlike the site, this book is set up with a chapter structure that implies white people in different regions of the country (and the world) have different affectations.  I don’t believe that to be true, (at least it doesn’t really work in the book) so I’m choosing to believe that the regional “chapter headings” are just more amusing things about white people (with some great line drawings that are really sparse and a little creepy but very effective–how can you tell it’s the Obama family with such few lines?).

A few other things that I enjoyed: how white people hate Ed Hardy and Thomas Kinkaid, but they love Banksy.  Also, he has a lengthy section about how all white couples love IKEA, then they go to IKEA and have a fight, and if they survive the fight it means they are a strong couple.  Sound familiar 30 Rock (two years after the book)?  Or the whole section about waiting on line for a restaurant means the food is going to be especially good. (sound familiar Portlandia (two years later)?  White people love to point out flaws.

There are 92 entries in the book (this white person thinks there should have been 100).  But even at 92, it gets a little exhausting.
Of course when ones really hit home, they are especially funny.  And as a white person, it’s hard to tell if I should feel guilty about engaging in these activities (see white guilt is easy to find).  So, as I go put my Obama 2012 bumper sticker on my Prius, (for real), I’ll see just how white I am.

At least I’m not allergic to anything, and I can’t fit into skinny jeans.  And I don’t like olives.  Although Sarah does love (but hey, she made it herself, it’s not something from a restaurant or anything).