SOUNDTRACK: hiatus
[READ: January 2022] The Discworld Almanak
I assumed that this book would pair well with Nanny Ogg’s cookbook since in Maskerade, there’s a plot point about the Almanak getting published. But as happens with this sort of thing, this companion book was published five years later.
There’s really nothing in here that’s relevant to any of the plots of the books, so that’s fine.
This diversion is basically an opportunity to explore the lighter side of Ankh-Morpork and astrology. It also doubles as a journal for whatever year you may wish to use it in (no days of the week are supplied for the two dozen pages of empty calendar dates.
The book has the look of an old fashioned almanac (as you can see by the cover) with lots of little pieces of text in all manner of places. There’s also old designs and bordered and even a place where you can punch a hole to hang a string so you can put the book in the privy.
As with Nanny Ogg’s cookbook, there are pinned notes from the publisher to the overseer of the book which add an extra level of humor to the proceedings.
The book also sets out the Discworld calendar year–it’s not quite the same as our as it has 400 days an a thirteenth month that no one talks about.
The book starts with a warning that the turtle is likely to turn upside down this year (fear not).
Then we get down to business. With information about these months:
Ick (the month no year will own). It’s 16 days long
Offle
February
March
April
May
June
Grune
August
Spune
Sektober
Ember
December
Each month had predictions on the left side of the page “the celestial parsnip still ensures the frosts will be harsh.” While the right side offers practical farming advice “Dig garden and destroy mallow and other such malicious tines.” The lucky vegetable is swede.
June offers the first diversion from the plan with June being the Cabbage Month on the Sto Plains. Including a painting by Josiah Remnant called Still Life with Cabbage, Broccoli, both Green and Purple, Sprouts, Kale and Elderly Couple being Attacked by Werewolf.
Ember sees the appearance of Fungi. Always remember: All Fungi are edible. Some Fungi are not edible more than once.
The middle of the book is full of astrological predictions about the kind of person you’ll be if you;re born on such and such a date. All of this stuff is told to the publishers by Wilf. Wilf has three stars on his brow, nine daggers in one hand, a crescent moon in the other and whose voice is the sound of trumpets.
As well as information about the phases of the moon (and how they might affect you and how it might affect witches). There’s also a hilarious essay about the role of the Duck in high magic.
And a less hilarious but highly detailed list of the various common cabbage varieties (the book gets very very into cabbages for a while). Probably because there’s a big ad for the Sto Plains Cabbage and Sprout Fair an because the section was sponsored by the Ankh-Morpork and Wincanton Cabbage Growers Association. Also see the painting of Makepeace Thomas Bounder who loved cabbages so much he made clothes out of them.
There’s also old proverbs like Just because the sun’s shining doesn’t mean it’s not raining somewhere.
You can learn about when the best markets are open in Ankh-Morpork (every day there’s a market for something!)
The calendar of days consistently uses 7+1 because one would never mention the actual number (for magical reasons). And it makes a point of noting Soul Cake Days in mid-Sektober.
My favorite part is the ads throughout the last pages. Like the one for Alkahli Dibblah’s guide to astrology. The Retrophrenologist. The huge ad for Pin Monthly, the magazine for the Acuphiliaist. There’s even an ad from Reg Shoe for the Fresh Start Club: “Being Dead is Just a State of Mind.”
Interestingly, there’s even a couple of ads for (then) real site like
http://www.cmotdibbler.com/ which was once the site of Stephen Briggs, but is now a theatre group. And www.artificer.co.uk which is the actual site of the Discworld Emporium where you can get all manner of Discworld things.
A fun diversion for Discworld die-hards.
Here’s the list of Discworld titles:
1. The Colour of Magic
2. The Light Fantastic
3. Equal Rites
4. Mort
5. Sourcery
6. Wyrd Sisters
7. Pyramids
8. Guards! Guards!
9. Faust Eric
10. Moving Pictures
11. Reaper Man
12. Witches Abroad
13. Small Gods
14. Lords and Ladies
15. Men at Arms
16. Soul Music
17. Interesting Times
18. Maskerade
19. Feet of Clay
20. Hogfather
21. Jingo
22. The Last Continent
23. Carpe Jugulum
24. The Fifth Elephant
25. The Truth
26. Thief of Time
27. The Last Hero
28. The Amazing Maurice And His Educated Rodents
29. Night Watch
30. The Wee Free Men
31. Monstrous Regiment
32. A Hat Full of Sky
33. Going Postal
34. Thud!
35. Wintersmith
36. Making Money
37. Unseen Academicals
38. I Shall Wear Midnight
39. Snuff
40. Raising Steam
41. The Shepherd’s Crown
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