SOUNDTRACK: hiatus
[READ: January 9, 2021] The Panda, The Cat and the Dreadful Teddy
This book is subtitled “A Parody” but it does not say what it is a parody of. And I genuinely had no idea. I guessed maybe Winnie-the Pooh. But I was wrong. According to the reviewers it is a parody of The Boy, The Mole, The Fox & The Horse, by Margerie Swash and artist Emmanuel Santos, which I have never heard of. Apparently it’s a book of positivity.
This book is a book of negativity. The handwriting is really hard to read and the drawings are really crude (intentionally). And then every other page shows Panda picking on the Dreadful Teddy, who is ever the optimist.
There’s few words per page like Panda seeing Teddy and saying “That’s the little arsehole I’m trying to avoid.” And, “oh shit, it’s that awful Teddy.”
Then there’s the Cat who is kind of a mediator: “I find that Teddy is full of tolerance and empathy” Panda replies, “I find he’s full of shit.”
And conversations like:
“I love life,” says Teddy.
“Isn’t Teddy wonderful?” says the Cat.
“I hate him.”
And then general words of wisdom, like, “Shitty weather again,” and “Bloody long winter, this” and “You haven’t got a fucking clue.” And a whole page of curses. With the next page saying: “Do you think Panda has a problem with his anger?” “No he just loves to swear.” He also loves gin–lots of gin.
And on and on. Maybe one or two pages are funny, but gah, it was the same thing over and over.
My favorite was the one of Panda and Cat sitting on a branch:
“Why not practise your mindfulness by colouring in this picture of Panda and the Cat in a snowy field?”
“Because it’s all black and white you absolute bell-end.”
Inexplicably, Teddy seems to be publishing his own book by the end of this book *Teddy and His Lovely Friends The Cat and Panda” with things like
“Dream It Wish It Do It” said Teddy.
“Fuck It” said Panda.
So, indeed, fuck it. I am really surprised at the people who found this five star funny.
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