SOUNDTRACK: hiatus
[READ: January 10, 2021] Gravepyres School for the Recently Deceased
I found this book at work and was instantly intrigued by many things. The title Gravepyres sounded unusual to me. It also seemed like a children’s book (which it is). Plus, it had a stamp that said “For sale only within the territories of India, Bangladesh, Bhutan, Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan and Sri Lanka.” Which I found pretty fascinating.
Even more so because this is a children’s fantasy book about being dead and the kind of “life” that you can have “there.” I thought it might be quite different than an American book.
The book opens on Jose who has just died. He has no idea that he just died and as he is trying to get his bearings, he is greeted by a small, bossy girl named Mishi. She brings him to Gravepyres School for the Recently Deceased. She tours him around the place, scolds him for his poor clothing (she provides him with a tunic) and tells him to get ready for classes..
Of course there is school when you are dead! There is mathamythics. Where the seemingly simple question 6+4= is not what one expects. None of the students answered until finally one of them said four hundred and sixteen. Jose chuckled, but the teacher said “Good, excellent.” Other seemingly correct answers were ninety seven and a half, eight thousand, fifty two, even twelve. But when Jose said the answer is ten, Professor Styx said Oh dear. not quite. The rest of the classes made the same amount of sense.
Like Scare Studies from Madam Morte and Seeing from Dr Chiplunker (who wore the most outrageous spectacles he had ever seen). Can you See the pencil in front of you? Look closely. Look at it for an hour. Jose decided it was the most boring class he had ever heard of.
Jose keeps telling Misha that he needs to go back. He needs to at least tell his parents (his poor parents) that he’s okay. But she is confident that nobody can go back. Unless you’re a vulture. You’re not a vulture are you? Of course he isn’t.
The next morning things are much the same except that Mishi doesn’t remember him–she seems to have no short term memory at all.
Eventually Jose learns that the only way to leave Gravepyres is to pass the final Ex-am, the Exit-animation. But its very hard–look at how badly he’s doing already.
Then Jose finds himself on vulture duty (students have to feed the vultures regularly). The vultures are the only ones who can return to the land of the Living–they fly through Lake Lachrymosa, you see. While they are feeding the vultures hey meet El Condor (who actually talks like this: “Jou breeng us da deleeeeecious meat. Wassa problem keed? Jou want to speak to El Condor?”
El Condor explains that Lake Lachrymosa is drying up–they can no longer fly through it to the land of the living. Something sis blocking it way upstream. A few nights later, Jose gets up the never to find out what is blocking up the lake (and Mishi comes with him).
The vultures fly the kids as far as they are able, but the kids need to walk for a long time. Since they are dead it doesn’t really matter so much–they don’t get hungry or tired or even need sleep (in the school they simply Horizontal). After a week of travelling Jose started to feel weak and stated to smell some things. Was he coming back to life? Mishi didn’t experience either of these things but didn’t think he was coming back to life. .
On their journey they meet Ranjubaba, a Guruji sitting on top of mountain., He seems delighted with the company and wants to help them.
When the trio gets far into the mountains they discover something horrible. A giant company called Plasticorp is blocking the flow of the river with a dam. The corporation hopes to turn everything into plastics. But how can two kids and a nearly naked guru stop a huge corporation with guards and dogs and fences and everything?
While they are moving through the snow they come across a baby Notyeti. The scent of a notyeti does things to a person–it makes them see all kinds of crazy things. Mishi can’t smell so nothing happened to her.
The adult notyeti sees that the kids had rescued the baby and she takes them to a special cave where they are warmed and comforted. But they know they can’t stay there.
On their way back through the snow (sledding fun!), they learn that Plasticorp wants to get the DNA of every living creature, (which means killing it) including the notyeti. The kids are more determined than every to stop them
The story was simple but it had a lot going on. We do briefly meet Jose’s parents and Jose is allowed to take the Ex-am.
The ending was remarkably bittersweet,
Leave a Reply