SOUNDTRACK: hiatus
[READ: September 2021] Guards! Guards!
This was the first Discworld book that I felt like I really remembered things from it. Did I ever even read the other books? I have no idea now.
Every thing about Captain Vimes was familiar (although I didn’t remember details). But I was really surprised to discover that his relationship with Lady Sybil Ramkin started in his first book. It’s also the introduction of Corporal Carrot. I was really surprised that all of these important events happened in this first book about the Watch.
This book is one of many in which a plot to overthrow Lord Vetinari is paramount to the action. The Unique and Supreme Lodge of the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night want to institute a puppet king in place of Lord Vetinari. The Brotherhood is a hilariously bumbling group all bent on secret signs and meanings. But the head of the Brotherhood (lupine Wonse) is quite serious. And he has taken a book from the Library (The Librarian is going to be so mad) which shows him how to summon dragons.
Now dragons do exist on the Disc. Indeed, Lady Sybil is the head of the swamp dragon rescue society (they’re not just for Christmas, they are for life). But swamp dragons are tiny and cute(ish) and harmless(ish). And the dragon that the Brotherhood has summoned is a massive beast that is capable of burning down a building (before it even gets strong).
But what does the dragon have to do with anything? Well, the Brotherhood has a puppet king in mind, a guy who can come in and “slay” their dragon just like a king.
But the guards of the title are aware that something is not right in Ankh-Morpork. Well, nothing is every right in Ankh-Morpork, but this wrongness is different.
The Night Watch is known for doing not much of anything–ringing bells and hiding from real danger. The Night Watch consists of Captain Sam Vimes, Sergeant Colon, and Corporal Nobbs. Three men (well, Nobby is a man, strictly speaking) who seem to drink more than anything else and who know where to run if trouble is coming.
Until new volunteer Carrot Ironfoundersson arrives. Carrot is a dwarf–but he is over six feet tall. He was sent away from dwarflands to find a job where he might actually fit. He is also unfailingly honest and straight laced. He is thrilled to be working for the Night Watch, he can’t believe he gets to arrest so many people for breaking every imaginable law (he has read the law books, unlike anyone else).
He tries to arrest the head of the Thieves’ Guild. Ankh-Morpork has a series of Guilds that allow people to do illegal things legally. The Thieves Guild is carefully monitored so no excess thieving happens. But the thieving they do is technically legal.
Vimes is somewhat inspired by Carrot’s dedication and he feels some of his old pride in his job through the haze of alcohol. He decides to seriously investigate this dragon situation. This leads him to meeting Lady Sybil, who tells him more than he every cared to know about dragons. By the time he is done, Lady Sybil seems a little infatuated with him and she donates a tiny dragon, Errol, to the Night Watch.
As happens, Lupine doesn’t really know what he’s doing. And soon enough this summoned dragon, which he had been controlling, is now powerful enough to do what it wants. And what it wants is gold and the sacrifice of virgins. Lupine becomes the dragon’s mouthpiece and he is too afraid to say anything else.
So basically the dragon is in charge of the city, unless someone can do something about it.
This book marks the first appearance of Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, the purveyor of inedible street meats who always turns up when there’s a crowd around and whose prices are always cutting-his-own throat they are so cheap. It also ibtroduces us to Detritus, a troll who will come to play a large role in other books.
There’s some delightful twists and turns as the story ends. Sam Vimes is arrested (and we get a nice look at Vetinari’s prison system). The Librarian saves Vimes and produces a very useful book. And, Errol proves to be far more than a mascot when he faces off against the massive dragon.
The is the first book about the Watch which grows with every book and has some of the most beloved characters.
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