I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: 2 CHAINZ-Tiny Desk (Home) Concert #170 (February 17, 2021).

I’ve never heard of 2 Chainz, but I love that his Tiny Desk comes from Pamper Atlanta–his nail salon!

He’s a pretty fascinating dude

Colored in royalty, neon hues of lavender, fuchsia and violet, in his high-end nail studio Pamper (yes, he owns it, and he’s not shy about letting you know), 2 Chainz is feeling himself throughout his five-song set. Getting a champagne-soaked pedicure, rolling one and periodically shouting out his sixth and latest studio album, So Help Me God!, the rapper exudes Black excellence in the way of luxurious comfortability.

“Southside HOV” is a fascinating brag track with lines like

I’m from the gutter, diamonds studded, I am too for real
Name another rapper that got a Versace shoe deal

His unbridled braggadocio so clearly comes from the freedom of security after being denied opportunities, not just individually but generationally.

He ends the song with a statement to the little ones:  “Listen carefully, this is a grown man speaking to you … pedicure in this bitch. too.”

“Vampire” is another new song that he casually raps while getting his legs massaged.

Then the set jumps to another room with 2 Chainz sitting in the spotlight as his partially obscured band plays.

He rewinds the clock and samples [his] stacked discography (“Good Drank,” “I’m Different”)

“Good Drank” has a grooving bass line from Tyler Sherard with some cool soloing from Josh Sneed.  “I’m Different” opens with a quiet piano melody from Mark Polynice–it’s almost like a horror movie.  Most of the songs have a chill rap style, but in the middle of this one he really lets it fly for a verse–rather impressive.  There’s some great drumming from Alex Turner on this track too.

The set ends with “Grey Area” and good grief with these lyrics, so much for inspirational).

All this sh- that I have done, I can not believe in karma (yeah)
Old enough to be your Daddy
Young enough to f- your Mama (boom, boom, boom!)
Young enough to f- your sister, young enough to f- your auntie
I ain’t messing with your Grannie, I just juuged her out them Xannies (true!)

It’s surprising then, that he gets all thoughtful at the end of the set.  As Polynice plays some backing chords, 2 Chainz says “Let me inspire.”

“There are a lot of people who have been moving the needle forward for Black people. And they have been for some time,” says an earnest, almost plaintive 2 Chainz. In a heart-filled sermon, he cites Martin Luther King Jr., Tyler Perry and Puffy as trailblazers, practicing gratitude for Black leaders who inspire him and the world at large. It’s a sober moment of euphoria — and a drastic shift from the first 17 minutes of the Grammy winner’s flashy Tiny Desk.

When thinking of inspirations he thinks of Martin Luther King, Jr. “I played from M.L.K.” he says (this must be metaphorical since King died almost ten years before Chainz was born).  Then when asked to name names of black people “who are currently like breathing and accessible in entertainment and tech” he says there’s so many who have inspired him he really can’t think of any names, even though there are so many black billionaires … “their names logged in my phone.”

The jump from M.L.K. to Tyler Perry may be the only time that connection was ever made.  But at the end he admits

I wasn’t specific when answering the question.  I just said what my heart told me to say.

But damn, if Pamper Atlanta doesn’t look really nice.

[READ: March 31, 2021] Klawde: Evil Alien Cat 3

While I enjoyed Book 2, I thought that Book 3 was a bit more fun.

Because it has dogs!

Raj’s parents are heading to Hawaii for a dental conference (Raj’s dad is a dentist, which you know because he is wearing a “plaque is wack” shirt.  Dad said it was work, but Raj was pretty jealous.  He wasn’t allowed to go because he was in school.  And that could mean only one thing: his ajji (grandma) was going to come stay with him.  Ajji was old-school Indian and brought three suitcases worth of cooking supplies.  And a dog.

Ajji doesn’t have a dog, but she was foster sitting this fluffy creature named Wuffles and brought it with her.  Since Wuffles needed a seat, Raj’s appi (grandfather) had to stay home!

Obviously Klawde is not happy to see that the “mortal enemy of all felines” was going to stay with them (the drawing of Wuffles on the “mortal enemies” page is hilariously adorable.  As Klawde sneaked up to get a better look, Wuffles exploded, snarling and barking right in Klawde’s face.

Klawde surveys the creature from atop the fridge:  It has the good sense to walk on four legs and has proper anatomical parts: fur, tail, whiskers and claws. But the whiskers were short (and couldn’t possibly be intergalactic sensors) and the ears were flopped over–clearly broken.

Ancient texts showed that dog and cats once lived in harmony on a planet called KrittR, until a dog tried to pee on cat turf and all hell broke out.

Raj was upset because his parents were going to be away for his birthday. but they came through with a great gift–am Okto 4k Action Camera with head mount.  But it seemed like all that Raj would be filming was his ajji grounding spices for her elaborate meals.

Klawde wants to test Wuffle’s fighting skills, so he leaps over the dog and onto a couch.  When Klawde pushes a cushion to the floor Wuffles tears it to shreds.

It was as if the beast had utterly forgotten it had a living, breathing enemy with which to do battle.  So this Wuffles was a moron.

But Raj is mad at Klawde!  As if it was all Klawde’s fault (it was).  Raj shows Klawde the video footage from his new camera of how Klawde antagonized Wwuffles.  Klwade was thrilled with this footage of how he made a fool of the dog–he now had a plan.

He would show footage of his domination of this dog to the cats of Lyttyrboks and they would bow down before his fiercesomeness.  He has Flabby Tabby get Wuffles into all kinds of humiliating situations and show himself to be victorious.

I’ve been pretty happy with these books that Raj is Indian American (even if the author’s last name is Marciano).  So it should come as no surprise that ajji lives in Edison, New jersey, which is

just about he most Indian place you could go outside of India itself.  The strip malls were filled with Indian supermarkets and restaurants and sari shops, and the local multiplex showed Bollywood movies.  It was pretty awesome there.

Ajji intends to make sure that Raj eats properly at school.  She makes him two stacks of round metal containers–tiffins. Raj is embarrassed to be bringing a huge pile of Indian food to school.  And even though it is delicious, the kids al make fun of him for the smell.  It was horrible.

It was also horrible for Klawde once his plans were ruined by the arrival of Space Ranger Barx, Special Agent of PUPPS Security Pack.  He was sent to Earth to make Klawde pay for his crime of blowing up a planet.  Although Barx is pretty bummed about having to do it, because you know, dogs are happy all the time.  In fact, isn’t earth just the best place in the whole universe?

Fortunately for Klawde, the camera is still on and dogs must obey commands, so when Klawde tells Barx to sit, Barx does!  Then he leaped up “hey that’s not fair!”  The cats back on Lyttyrboks are so impressed, they’re goin to send a rescue vehicle for Klawde to bring him home–to rule once more!

Things get more complicated when Raj gets home and sees a new dog.  Except that Barx is such a good boy, he is thrilled to see a human and immediately rolls over to get petted.  And oh my, will there be fetch playing?  YES!

Eventually Barx reveals that he can talk (Raj has already been through this with Klawde, so no big deal).  But when Barx says he has to take Klawde back to face his punishment–which means that Raj will lose both Klawde AND Barx, it’s too much to deal with.

Oh, and to make things even worse, his ajji had been planning a huge Indian food feast for all of his “friends” in class.  She has been cooking for days and handing out invitations when she’s not cooking.  It will be so humiliating.

The punishment that Barx ultimately wants Klwade to do is pretty great as is what happens when Klawde agrees to do it. I enjoyed this story a lot and am looking forward to Book 4.  I wonder if we’ll see Barx again.

And be sure to read the author and artist bios!