I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: KURT VILE-“Passenger Side” (from WILCOvered, UNCUT Magazine November 2019).

The November 2019 issue of UNCUT magazine had a cover story about Wilco.  It included a 17 track CD of bands covering Wilco (called WILcovered or WILCOvered).  I really enjoyed this collection and knew most of the artists on it already, so I’m going through the songs one at a time.

Kurt Vile is a pretty obvious and delightful choice to cover this loping song about drinking and not driving.

It’s a full band recording (even though it’s only two people playing).  Kurt plays some delightful meandering guitar throughout the song while Adam Langellotti plays bass, drums and keys.

It’s a fun cover and Vile’s delivery is perfect.

[READ: February 9, 2020] By Night

I am so taken with Giant Days, that I’ll pretty much read anything by John Allison.  This three-book series has a pretty uninspired title, but the story inside is trippy and very cool.

The story opens “in a commercial lab in Spectrum, South Dakota.”  We are looking at Jane Langstaff who has a masters in chemistry.  As the exposition continues Jane turns to us and says “Stop narrating my life, Barney.”  She sighs and says that she’s basically a restaurant dish washer but with biohazard.  Her best friend is now the autoclave.

As she walks outside she sees “ghost lady” and as she is looking at her she almost stumbles over Heather sitting on the stairs.  Heather has been waiting for Jane.  Jane lies and says she didn’t know that Heather was back in Spectrum.  They quickly catch up.  Heather is no longer with Shawn–who cut his hair and got a law degree.  Jane is shocked: “he cut his hair?” (with an accompanying picture of his gorgeous locks).  Heather reacts: “Of those two things that’s not the one that should blow your mind.”  Heather invites her for drinks.  Jane agrees but instantly regrets it.

Later Heather tells her that she wants to tear it up which means going to a local bar.  It is dark and depressing and no one is tearing up anything.  In fact, Heather’s s dad Chip is there drinking.

Chip reveals that he was terminated today.  He has worked at the Charleswood Estate for his entire life.  Heather realizes that this means that the Charleswood Estate is unguarded (he was the only guard left at the Estate).  With some sleight of hand, Heather steals her fathers’ keys and tells Jane they are going to sneak in.

After some persuading, Jane agrees to go.  They both know Charleswood Estate because every year the school would take them there for a class trip because Chet Charles more or less created the town.  When they sneak in the first thing they do is watching the old welcome video that they’ve seen so many times before.

They sneak into Charles’ private office, where he has a projector and a comfy looking chair.  They are pretty delighted with this find.  but when moonlight hits the projector it turns on and projects a hole in the wall which Heather and Jane walk through … into another world.

Luckily Jane has her camera (she wants to be a documentary filmmaker) because she was promised there’d be some fun footage in the Estate.  But when they come across a green goblin type creature the camer’s not going to cut it.  The Goblin looks at them and says, “A real life Laverne and Shirley.”

The goblin is named Gardt and he says they have to leave because the Wolfman (who appears the in silhouette of the moon) will get them.

Allison has a such a great way with humor in these stories.  I love that they escape not by going through the same portal but by hiding form the Wolfman in a mucky bog (yuck).  Then when Gardt shows them another portal out he says “You can make passage back between any two matched objects ten snakes apart” and Heather snarks, “Ten snakes.  I’ll Note that down in my esoteric measurements scrapbook.”

They return and as once they are gone, the Wolfman says to Gardt “that cannot happen ever again.”

The next day in the lab she and the Barney analyse the content of the muck on her clothes.  He says “the elements don’t correspond to anything on earth!  If you ignore the most common ones.”  She is bummed and admits she thought she’d passed through a portal to another dimension.

When Heather wakes up her dad suggests she could get a job with Uncle Andy in pest control.  When she demurs he says that he wishes he had quit college one credit short of a degree in philosophy and marine biology.  She says she got a lot out of college–$71,000 of debt.

She asks why he doesn’t go work with Uncle Andy and he says that now that he is retired, he has time to do what he always wanted–watch every Super Bowl he has ever taped.

Heather cant believe that Jane told “a stinky boy” about their portal.  Jane argues that they needed some kind of safety if they were going to do it again.  But there’s no time for fighting because Heather has spotted the worst thing ever: Chapstick and a cracked cell phone case–“the spoor of teens.”  They have to get their work done before the teens destroy everything.

Heather and Jane go through the portal and Barney stays behind.  Then he says to himself, “if they never come back it’ll look like your murdered them in a wired sex game.”  At 7AM when the sun comes up the portal vanishes.

Barney runs to Heather’s house to tell her dad what happens.  Obviously he doesn’t believe the boy, but Barney gives Chip a note: “If dad doesn’t believe you, give him THIS.  ♥ H ;-).  Chip says, “I concede that’s her kind of trademark nonsense.”

On the way out, Barney waves to the ghost lady and calls her Tabitha.  He says that she was the homecoming queen the year he graduated.

After a meal they go tho Charleswood and we learn a bit of backstory about Chip.  Like that he used to date a pretty woman who drives up and asks what they’re doing there.  Chip makes up a story and as she pulls away Chip says he knows something’s not right there.  There’s a funny scene were they encounter the unruly teens having a party, but the teens ignore them because Chip is so uncool.

They search through the filing cabinets and learn that the guy that Barney and Jane work from, Langston Gramercy, is involved with Project Golf–the thing that makes the portal open.

The moon comes up and as they are fighting over who will go through the portal, Jane and Heather come running out.  The first thing they say is that hey need to go back with more lights and a boom mic.

The next night they go in with all their equipment and present Gardt with his presents–toy cars, Twizzlers and all kinds of ’80s memorabilia..

They want to film, but Jane wants to make sure that Gardt is not in any pictures because no one wold believe them.  Gardt keeps trying his best to get in the shots and is ruining them all.

Chip is put on Gardt duty.  When Chip asks Gardt why he likes this 80s stuff so much, Gardt says he had a friend with Betamax copies of all of those ’80s shows.  Gardt says that Chip reminds him of Chet–the guy who used to live in the cabin right over there.

Meanwhile, Jane and Heather come across a large pit with sleeping vampires in it.  Heather says she will hold up Jane while she films.  Obviously it doesn’t go well and Jane winds up at the bottom. Fortunately, the vampire are asleep.  Until Gardt’s echoing voice wakes them up.

Gardt says they are no longer allowed back after all the trouble they have caused.

There’s so o many intriguing pieces to tie together, I can’t wait until book two.

Although I liked the drawings of the humans, i didn’t really like the illustrations of Gardt and the other supernatural creatures–they seemed too cartoony rather than scary.  Especially the vampires.  They wake up and just seem to pile on Jane with a dazed look on their faces–what the heck is that about?

But that’s a minor quibble to an otherwise intriguing story.