SOUNDTRACK: WIRE-Kidney Bingos (1988).
Wire’s first three albums are punk and post-pink classics. So classic that a Britpop band ripped off one of their songs to make an even bigger hit. (I rather like Elastica too).
After their hiatus in the early 1980s, they returned with a new sound. Like King Crimson only with fewer notes.
Their second post-hiatus album A Bell is a Cup even had a single, “Kidney Bingos.”
This song is remarkably far from their early punk sound. It’s almost as if on their first albums, their guitars only had the low strings, And on this one, they only have the high strings.
The guitars on this song are gentle and jangly. The bass is pretty similar–nice and deep with a great resonance, although the tempo is much slower and more chill.
The chorus is a really catchy bit if pop fun, even if for 30 years I had no idea that he was saying
Money spines paper lung kidney bingos organ fun
which makes as much sense as what I thought he was saying.
The end of the song throws in some synths and a wordless singalong that shows a real depth to Newman’s voice.
[READ: June 29, 2019] “Pastoralia”
I was sure I had read this story before. But it turns out I’ve had his collection Pastoralia on my “too read” list but had never actually read it. In the collection, this story is almost 70 pages. It’s pretty long in the New Yorker, but i do have to wonder if it is an excerpt as there’s so much that is unexplained.
This story is set in what I think of as the Saunders future. There’s no ProperName objects as there usually are. But this future has a lot of the mildly dystopian qualities that Saunders tends to put in his stories
This one includes an exhibit where humans act out historical scenarios in a museum of sorts (the details are never given).
The narrator’s name is never given. Over the course of a few pages we determine that he is a caveman in an exhibit. Every day he is supposed to “eat grubs,” “see” a herd of animals and not speak English. He has a “wife,” Janet. She is not his real wife, he has a real wife and children. In fact he doesn’t especially like Janet. She tends to speak English a lot and disregards most other work protocols.
In many respects it doesn’t matter because hardly anyone comes into the museum. But they are doing a job and they do have supervisors.
When the light dims as if it were night time they each go to their separate personal quarters where they have such modern amenities as a fax machine (this was written in 2000 so that’s not a goof, I don’t think).
Each day they are given a goat through the Big Slot and matches in the Little Slot. He is supposed to skin the goat. Janet is supposed to start a fire. Onlookers aren’t supposed to see any of the anachronisms, so they do their best to hide them.
But on this day they didn’t get a goat. There was nothing in the Big Slot. So they had to eat reserve crackers and hunt for grubs.
The next day there was a goat and an apologetic note,
A few people do come check out the exhibits. People tend to say things like, “Whoa these are some very cramped living quarters.” and “Do you have call waiting Ha Ha.” The narrator and Janet are supposed to grunt and cower from guests. One of the guests mentions him dragging his wife around by the hair. He tells us that he never does that–too cliche.
When a visitor came in and asked where they pooped, Janet said in English that they have disposable bags that the put in a bin. Where did they poop in the old times? Janet says, “in the woods.”
Moments later a Client Vignette Evaluation comes in. The man rated them impressive and said he’s learned where they pooped both in the old days and now.
The two are supposed to evaluate each other every day as well. He unfailingly gives Janet excellent grades–even when she spoke to that man in English. Even though he doesn’t really like her, he feels bad for her–she has family problems.
Of course, he has problems too. His thee-year-old son is in the hospital–muscles stiffened up–although his wife faxes that he seems to be doing okay.
The next day, their boss Craig Nordstrom comes in and pulls the narrator out. When Janet asks if he wants to talk to her as well, Craig smiles and says no. Turns out they know that Janet is doing a lousy job. They saw the poop evaluation, of course. Bit if * he keeps saying she’s doing great when she is not, then he is not being a good employee.
He doesn’t want to hurt Janet, but he also realizes he has his own job to be concerned about.
When he returns, he tells Janet what Craig said and she decides to straighten up and play along. He feels really good about that and Tells Craig But Crag is pissed. He doesn’t want Janet to know they are scrutinizing her, he want to get rid of her. Why can’t the narrator just report on her honesty.
Janet is pretty good for a time but then she get a visitor. It is her son Bradley. Bradley walks in to their space. No one is supposed to do that. Bradley is a loser–a thief and a drug addict who got kicked out of rehab. He fights with her, they curse at each other. Finally, he begs for money. She has none and ask the narrator for $20 to lend her son. You got a sick kid, I got a sick kid. The narrator thinks “yes and no.” I have a sick kid but he’s not a con man.
That night he lies for he again, he feels very badly for her. But the next day she takes an unauthorized Sick Day, leaving him by himself in their scene.
The following day, a family comes in. The boy is a holy terror. He tells his dad that he is always wrong and that he wants to stab him. When the kid looks at the narrator and asks what his name is, the caveman does his job and grunts. The kid yells “you are not acceptable!”
The dad says Bibby dis you write that down? Also he;s got some goo-goo coming out of his nosehole. When Janet hears this last part, she can’t contain herself and mutters, “Jesus Christ.” The father heard it and starts arguing with Janet until she calls him a suckass. The evaluation is (of course) very negative: “Lose the cave lady she sucks.”
On that nights evaluation he tells the truth about what happened. Craig tells him that the next day he should be out of the room at around 10, that’s when Janet will be removed. He is also given a ton if food rewards in the Big Slot, including different kinds included boxes and cans.
And then a young cavewoman enters. This woman has taken the job very seriously–she had a cavewoman brow permanently installed in her forehead. And hey, maybe the narrator should consider it too…
There is so much left out of this story that I wonder if there is more. But I kind of like that no context or explanation is given for what we see here.
Leave a Reply