SOUNDTRACK: RHEOSTATICS-This Ain’t Hollywood Hamilton ON (December 15 2017).
This is the final Rheostatics concert of 2017. And it’s the most recent concert available of the Rheostatics Live site. This entire show is fantastic. The band is in perfect form. While they have fun and goof around between songs, the songs themselves sound amazing.
There’s a lengthy, amusing introduction by “Failed Hamilton mayoral candidate Steve Bunn” who describes the band as created by “David Cronenberg who combined the genetic materials from Stompin’ Tom. Joni Mitchell, Martha and the Muffins and Gino Vanelli, giving rise to the founding fathers of the can-rock renaissance.”
As the opening notes of Stolen Care begin, Clark asks: “Can someone turn off the house music in the monitor.”
DB: “We hate Haircut 100.”
Martin: Almost as much as Spandau Ballet.
DB: “Although, our next album is going to have a little bit of house music all the way through it.”
“Stolen Car” is just beautiful. The band sounds in great form. martin is having fun, Hugh sounds terrific. And there’s a long, glorious ending. It’s followed by a soaring and lovely Soul Glue.” The next song is one of the best versions of “AC/DC on My Stereo” I’ve heard. The band seems into it and Tim’s bass makes it a but more interesting than usual.
They start a regional antipathy between the locals. While in Hamilton, DB says, we’re more into Ancaster ultimately, but it’s nice to be here. Dundas, that fucking blows. Dunville’s alright Don Mills? Burlington sucks shit kind of, though, am I wrong? I mean it’s great. Bronte though that’s really the pits. Here’s another song to divide you further.
It’s a lovely version of “It” with pretty pizzicato from Hugh. Clark and Martin have this ending that they want to do and the keep forgetting. They want to just have a short high note. So they do just the ending. And then once more.
A delightful version of “The Headless One” follows. Tim and Martin’s voices are wonderful together.
Audience: Double Dave
DB: I know its confusing, eh? Considering that we are both excellent drummers we get confused a lot.
Clark: Dave actually is a smoking drummer
DB: Like Bun E Carlos.
Clark: Yes in that style. I like to learn from him. I’m always looking for a swinging drummer.
MT: Now we’re gonna do “Take It Easy” by the Eagles which is about… I was driving down the road trying to loosen by load. It’ about constipation.
Like the Local Rabbits the protagonist in that song clearly shit in a bag
Audience: Stop talking and play.
Martin: You guys just fucked it up, now we’re gonna talk for ten minutes.
DB: Didn’t you see, the ticket price includes patter: WARNING: may include patter. Not even good patter.
MT: Music n’ patter.
Clark: Cheerful stage patter.
This leads to a pretty intro for “Michael Jackson.” The middle section has a wild chanting nonsensical part where they sing “suck out the poison” over and over but the end has a great rocking jam with some pretty funky almost disco bass from Tim.
Thanks to our buddy Dale Morningstar for opening the show and and ripping it up.
A new song by Timothy Warren Vesely which features Dave Bidini on the bass its called “Rear View.”
They talk about their first show in Hamilton. No, before La Luna. Before The Regal (with The Waltons) The Other Side was pretty weird–it had that freaky mural. Tim: Where was that place they had to push the pool table aside? DB: Every place.
Martin: Am I officially a Hamiltonian? I’ve been here 8 years. DC: Maybe you’re going to get beat up Toronto boy. MT: “Toronto boy gets beat up in alley.”
This leads to a lovely “PIN.”
Dave Clark plays a clinking melody (like to one he described at a previous hows pluh duh duh duh ding” which is an introduction to “Northern Wish” But the music is all wonky. Thumping bass and drums. They quickly start it properly and its a beautiful version with a fantastic ending of the whole crowd singing “Land Ho!”
DB: My mother in law is from the North End of Hamilton. They came from Northernish Italy, the Veneto. Any one here from the Veneto in Italy? You never know in Hamilton you’re pretty much always two feet away from an Italian. Much like Martin and I. This is a song about people travelling. A pretty “Mountains & The Sea” follows. The transition is a little rocky but they pull it of. There’s a delightful high-pitched solo from Hugh.
MT: We all went to the school of the entertainment arts in Forest Hill Toronto. We were told how to project ourselves to the back of the room and to drink water–particularly bottled water.
Clark demonstrates the “proper way” to drink from a water bottle … his thumb is pointing up because I’m feeling great about life when I drink water. I’m touching just the upper edges of the cap. I do not want to touch the drinking part with my fingers. I’ve been touching all kinds of things tonight.
MT: Your iPad is dirtier than the toilet in this joint.
Very fucking pro-Tim Vesely crowd tonight, what’s gong on? “King of the Past” is fantastic with some great soloing by Hugh and amazing vocals from Tim and Martin. The end features a little folk jam that’s quite a lot of fun, too. It segues into a wonderful “Christopher.”
DB: Here’s a song you might have heard on the radio at some point in your radio lives.
Clark: If you listened all day for three weeks at one point in time you might have heard this once.
MT: All five of us have Toyota Echos and we head out on the highway. This song is about how we head out on the highway in a sort of arrow formation Toyota Echo convoy.
“Claire” sounds lovely with a cool solo from “hometown boy, local legend, martin Tielli.” They start chanting M-A-R-T-I-N instead of “C-l-a-i-r-e”
We’ll get to all your favorites hopefully before the night is done. If not that’s why they invented recorded music.
Martin tunes his guitar and then runs through a quick “Ghost Riders in the Sky.”
DB: And this ones called “Who Stole the Kishka.” Tim: “I’m pretty sure it was that guy.” DB: “Totally fucking guilty.” But it’s really a soaring “California Dreamline.” The wonderful weird noises Martin is making on his guitar are a perfect segue into a totally rocking “Horses.”
And then its time for the encore break. Amazingly they play for an hour after the encore.
MT: “This is the fake walk off… I just have to change my shirt.”
Clark returned first and sings a capella “I’m Not Afraid,” then he gets behind the kit to do some drumming before “Legal Age LIfe.”
That’s Dylan Hudecki to my left. Also with them is George Collins and Skye of the Gas Station Islanders. They all join in on a fun and raucous “Legal Age Life.”
Martin’s in his uber on the QEW. He’s got to get home to host his late night radio show. It’s a quasi-religious program. He plays only Hawaiian gamelan music and reads from the scriptures.
All these years, I had no idea that the 12 bar blues section was an actual song. It was written by (Canadian) Jack Butwell in 1974 and then covered in 1983 by NRBQ. Although it isn’t played tonight.
Clark: can we do “Supercontroller?” This is a good audience for that.
DB: This is our most Quaalude song ever.
MT: [In total disbelief] Quaaludes? This is a lots of coffee song.
This segues into the opening notes of “Dope Fiends” which leads to a couple of huge medleys. “Dope Fiends” winds up being 16+ minutes long. The beautiful soaring end of “Dope Fiends” is shattered bu the roaring guitar of PROD. Mid song–“Hey Tim, are you ready for your close-up?” (a zippy bass chord solo ensues). Then there’s a section of Calling out the chords: G then B flat just for a little bit now back to G then to G sharp. DB to audience: “That feels right, do you guys like G sharp? It not G it’s not A it’s G sharp.” Tim: “Now let’s go to A flat A flat is a downer go back to G sharp.” Then to D minor. Another bummer. Lets go to E. MT: Dave play this one solo … E minor, which Dave turns into “Who Stole the Kishka.” Go back to G sharp and PROD When it ends Martin plays the riff to Rush’s “What You’re Doing” and the band joins in. He tacks on a bit of “Working Man” before it’s over.
DB starts asking for a beer and the audience asks for Wendell Clark. We haven’t played that … Only if you’ll sing it.
They start to play Part II. MT: That’s the part I wrote! The Ballad Of Wendel Clark Part I and II begins and mid way through Part II, they go to G for a run through of “Bud the Spud.” DB: shouts “Don’t film this–copyright violation. Jesus Christ, Daron, have some respect.” Bud continues: “He knows a sign that rises up in the sun that says Martin Tielli. …because he’s got his own fucking touring truck that’s filled with potatoes. Dave says: It was really weird they played a medley of other songs and we wondered when they were going to finish Bud the Spud and play their own songs.
DB: He’s got another big load which is a fucking lyric that outs you in a whole nother…
Tim: Yes, it’s very Eagles.
Clark: Comedy high of the night.
This leads to a discussion of masturbating in the car, which people do. (MT: There’s people who do everything which the internet has told us.) Dave tells a story of a hitchhiker from Saskatchewan to Calgary. And the driver said do you mind if I masturbate while we talk and the friend said. This leads to an impromptu song called I know “Jerking Off All The Way To Calgary.” It’s rude and hilarious, with Martin’s line: “That’s a lot of uncomfortable time.” The y finish off Wendell Clark.
MT: Dave, you’ve gone blue!
Clark: Are we gonna do another song or go home. DB: I vote go home.
No! Lots of requests especially for “Record Body Count” and lots for “Aliens.” Also: Superdifficult, Queer, (Clark: queer is a good one). The Jane Siberry song? And a loud solitary one for “Do You Believe in Life After Love?”
You should all go out and buy Tom Wilson’s book Beautiful Scars. It’s an amazing Hamilton story. And there’s copies of the West End Phoenix for sale.
They end the night after all that silliness with a great, solid version of “Self Serve Gas Station.” It all goes well until Martin gets messed up (laughing) just after the loud section starts (he misses the “morning time has come” high note).
[READ: October 2018] Polish Porno Graphics
So yes, this is a book of graphic sex stories. I found it at work and thought it was a book of Polish artists depicting pencil drawings of nudes. I kind of assumed the title was a poor translation because I didn’t imagine our library would have anything quite like this. I also thought it would be a uniquely Polish look at art (I like looking at Polish books).
But nope, this is a series of largely wordless (although the words which are there are in English) sex comics. Some are a little cartoony, but for the most part they are pretty realistic and very very explicit. There’s lots of drawings of people copulating in various, mostly unexpected ways and places. Don’t read any further if you’re easily offended.
“Drowned Man” Written by Maria Lengren & Piotr Franaszczuk. Illustrated by Marcin Nowakowski
This story is about a mermaid who finds a (naked) man on the beach. She gives him mouth to mouth which doesn’t seem to help. So she gives him mouth to penis. This gets him to stir in many ways. The end of the story shows us a pretty funny joke about pearl necklaces.
“In Space No One Can Hear You Scream” Written by Maria Lengren & Piotr Franaszczuk. Illustrated by Marcin Nowakowski
On a space ship the female astronaut removes her suit… and the rest of her clothes. Her co-astronaut is soon naked as well, but he accidentally pulls the hatch releasing the life capsule. They have some wild weightless sex and accidentally start the self-destruct sequence. In another amusing punchline, it’s through a mis-directed orgasm that things turn out okay.
“Hunt” Written & Illustrated by Anna Helena Szymborska
This story has a wonderfully dark and interesting illustration style (very different from the two by Nowakowski). It begins with a man (long hair and beard, like a Viking) hunting a stag. He follows it into a cave where the cave drawings (wonderfully rudimentary compared to him) come to life. He seems to get sucked through a portal where a woman is waiting for him. She is naked, of course, and he soon is as well. They go through all the potions (Szymborska’s drawing style of crosshatching is great for shading, but does occasionally look like fur…maybe that’s the point). By the end there appears to be several of the woman and she soon reveals herself to be something very other than the beautiful woman she is.
“Tarot Gallery” Dagmara Matusak
This is a series of sexual tarot cards–stylized and explicit (lot so penises) of: The Drowning Man, The Lovers, Witchcraft (flying on a broom while dong three things at once), The Innocence The Visitor and The Order.
“Wake Up!” Writtenm & Illustaeted by Nikodem Cabala
Set in Empire City, the Empire Space Agency present s Wake up! This is a stylized and cartoonist story whereas the others were more realistic.
A studly man with a sexy entourage gives thumbs up to a woman who has hearts exploding out of her eyes. When she gets back to her place, he is there waiting and there oversized muscular bodies fit together nicely. But she seems to wake up when her female roommate catches her feeling herself up. There’s a section where people go into stasis and the woman seems to try to disguise herself as someone else for her stud. But as it ends it reveals that her fantasy man isn’t quite what she thought.
Art Gallery by Nikodem Cabala
This series includes Hellgirl. This picture shows a naked woman on a throne wearing two dildos on her head with the skin of another woman on the floor (not gross, more costumey). She says “Welcome to heaven my boy.” I’m not sure if its connected to the previous story or not,
Then there are several drawings of naked women including one wrapped up with a Chthulu type monster.
“Juice” Written & Illustated by Tomsz Piorunowski
This is the most cartoonish of the bunch. There are tiny elves with big ears and noses. But the woman is human and beautiful. She is running and half naked. She gets to the water, removes her clothes and bathes. Meanwhile the elves watch her and get aroused. They steal her clothe and she imagines and adorable leprechaun, not the randy creatures they actually are. What this has to do with Juice, I have no idea.
Agnieszka Bobrowska has a guest drawing of a woman getting turned on by a tentacled creature.
And it ends with the Adler Gallery by Robert Adler which is more or less serious (although somewhat cartoonish). It’s of women engaging in pleasure–by herself, with another woman and with a man.
So, yes, Polish Porno Graphics, a perfect name for this book.
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