I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: THE AMOEBA PEOPLE-“The Night The Hippies Hijacked Christmas” (2010) “Christmas Ferret” (2010) “Robotic Christmas Tree” (2014).

A few years ago I backed The Amoeba People in a Kickstarter campaign.  And they sent me a booklet and CD of The Complicated Saga of Eggnog and Yule Log.  I had been putting off listening to it until the holidays because it seemed perfectly holiday themed.

But as it turns out, the entire collection (four songs) is sort of tangentially Christmassy.  Since they do have three specifically Christmas songs that they have also released, I’ll mention them first.

Of the three, the promisingly titled “The Night The Hippies Hijacked Christmas” is my least favorite.  It’s overly long and uses music to fight music.  But it is “Christmas Ferret” that really steals the show.

When coal isn’t enough for someone who has been naughty at Christmastime, why not send them a present that will bite back. The way the song is sung–in a weird falsetto and staccato delivery (making it almost like a hymn) is fantastic.

The newest song is “Robotic Christmas Tree,” a dancing riotous song about trees attacking people on this festive holiday:

You think your tree
Is perfectly organic
But on Christmas Day
There will be widespread panic!

It’s a fun song, although it doesn’t quite match up to “Christmas Ferret” either.

[READ: December 21, 2015] The Complicated Saga of Eggnog and Yule Log

This collection comes with four songs.  The booklet includes the lyrics to all four songs, but it also includes two extra texts.  One is the diary musings of Uncle Leon for his extra verses to “Omaha.”  But the real treat is the extended story of Yule Log and Egg Nog.

But first the songs:

“Uncle Pat” is a great bouncing song.  It’s about Uncle Pat who claims to be Irish but isn’t (the song has a fun traditional Irish feel to it).  He tells stories about his life which everyone knows to be lies.  It’s really quite funny (we also get Uncle Pat’s recipe for egg nog, both the kid friendly and the super unfriendly versions!)

“Eight Nights of Bowling” is about how three rabbis spend their Hanukkah nights: “ten pins, eight nights you know it’s really out of sight.”  This is an unexpected punk blast.

The final song is sung by Crazy Uncle Leon (who is also mentioned in their earlier song “Cosmology, Your Futon and You”).  There’s a long opening in which Leon talks to his nephews.  He asks them why they have coats on.  And they say it’s 68 degrees in Hollywood, a really cold winter.  He is appalled and then proceeds to sing to them his tales of winters in Omaha.  Well, not tales so much as just a few words and a lot of chorus (Leon can’t think of many words as you can see from his diary entry).

The title song is actually quite short.  Eggnog wants to play, but Yule Log is angry and wants to fight.   But eggnog says “I don’t want to fight him/Like me he’s a seasonal item.”    The song is slow and sweet until it becomes fast and punky (with the same words both times).

But so much is left to wonder about with this song.  Why is Yule Log so mad?  Well, thankfully, the booklet tells us the full story.

In the fuller version,

The logs piled on the rack congratulate the Yule Log on being picked to be used for the Christmas fire.  They say that only one log is given such an honor.   But Yule Log is pragmatic–what does it matter if I’m chosen, we’re all gong to be burned anyway.

The rest of the decorations are appalled by this attitude.  The Christmas Tree shames him saying that everyone plays a part in the Christmas tradition.  And one of the chocolate Santas says that Yule log is lucky that the Santa is stuck in the bowl or he would punch Yule Log.

As they were arguing they had to hush quickly because they head someone coming. But it wasn’t a person it was a fetching yellow carton with skinny legs and arms.   He wishes everyone a happy holiday and says that he is Eggnog.  He wishes everyone good cheer but Yule Log wants nothing to do with it.  He tells Eggnog that he is just going to be drunk tomorrow so what is he so cheerful about?

Eggnog says its better to be drunk than to go sour.  Yule Log is dismissive.

Eggnog then posits that they can fight or they can play holiday games.  The only game Yule Log is interested in is beating up Eggnog.

So what happens on Christmas Day?  Will they meet their fate?  And if so, whose attitude is better?

This is something to ponder while you sit by the fire and enjoy your own Egg nog.  Happy Christmas.