[RANTED: January 29, 2012] What is it with Busses?
I don’t often post things that are just me blathering, but now that I’ve started swimming every day I have a lot of time to mull.
I’m more or less opposed to the Reality TV. It bothers me that writers and creative people have been given the shaft for ephemeral “stars” who are memorable only because of how annoying they are. But hey, the genre is here to stay (I’m already like 20 years too late to complain about it, I know). And, in fairness, there are a number of shows that I do enjoy (I still wish they were relegated to cable to get real shows back on the networks, but I guess cable is where all the real shows are now anyhow.
The shows that I like are the ones that celebrate creativity. Even though a friend pointed out, the participants are forced into being creative, and it’s more like art school than real art, these shows are as close to art on TV as you get most of the time. How likely are we to see craftsmen and craftswomen at the peak of their game on prime time TV (or even not prime time TV)?
So, the four reality shows that I watch are America’s Next Top Model, Project Runway, Work of Art and (newly added) Face Off. I don’t watch Top Chef because I don’t really believe in a show that I can’t experience the final product. If I can’t taste it, so I don’t trust who thinks it’s the best. Having said that I loved the Japanese Iron Chef (not so much the American one) because it was crazy and theatrical and wonderfully Japanese.
I realize that these shows are more like game shows than genuine reality TV. The real difference between these shows and game shows of old is that these shows take the Real-World approach and try to drive up drama by having them live together, or, more specifically, interact with each other in ways that are not normal. (Face Off doesn’t seem to do this and, as far as I can tell, Work of Art seems less inclined to focus on this aspect). But most “reality” shows seem to focus on the “drama” rather than the product, and I think that’s a real shame–leave that nonsense to Big Brother and The Real World.
ANTM is in a crazy class all of its own and it hardly counts for anything I’m about to say. It’s obvious that Tyra Banks is either bonkers or so narcissistic that she’ll never change anything about the show. And so, we wind up fast forwarding through all of the drama (including the Tyra-generated drama) and just watching the photo shoots (which are informative for amateur photographers in terms of lighting and getting your subject to do interesting things. Really). As far as drama goes, these girls are all so vapid and too sensitive/insensitive that I can’t even bear to hear them speak, much less care what their opinions are. So, mute and fast forward make ANTM tolerable. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a show that I watch regularly.
The other three shows are more “sophisticated,” so they don’t get fast forwarded.
When Project Runway moved to Lifetime, it changed for the worse. When it added an extra 30 minutes I thought, more Tim Gunn, more critiques, more time spent on the designers working! But no. It somehow meant 30 more minutes of “backstage drama.” And, yes we actually started fast forwarding scenes (I don’t need to follow anyone into the bathroom, thank you).
I don’t care about fashion at all, but Project Runway has gotten me very interested in the construction of clothes and the use of patterns and colors. I paint and draw, and this show has really expanded my ideas for subjects. Plus it’s amazing to watch some take a bolt of fabric and make it into a dress.
I admit I like some of the drama on PR. These guys, while “crazy artists” are at least somewhat more intelligent than your average ANTMer. And while yes, they are all mugging for the camera (and it’s painfully obvious that certain terrible designers are kept on the show longer if they are “good TV”), because most of them are in their late 20s and 30s, they’re at least somewhat clever in their insults. Sometimes.
Work of Art has a little behind the scenes stuff, but for the most part it seems to focus on the artists. And I like that. I have other problems with the show though, but more later. There seems to be a drama queen or two, but for the most part they were funny rather than “dramatic.”
Face Off I’ve only watched 3 episodes of, but it doesn’t even seem like they live in the same place. There’s some drama (one person in particular) but mostly it seems low-key. Because honestly, it’s on SyFy. Those of us who watch SyFy will watch Face Off because it is an awesome way to see people make prosthetic faces–I have learned so much in just two episodes–and we don’t really care about drama and hurt feelings.
So that leaves the other major issue. The judges.
Why are the judges so… Ugh.
ANTM is in a class by itself once again. They each think they are the funniest things in the world, and that the show is all about them, which I guess it kind of is, but man, I wish I could develop a selective-mute for this show. Anytime one of them tries to coin a new term, it just would fall into the mute bank.
But on the other three shows, what’s going on? Project Runway has been pretty solid. Michael Kors is funny, Nina Garcia is insightful and Heid Klum is a combination of the two. But this new “All Stars” features a lame group as ever there was (and the very lame tie in of Miss Piggy was just sad). Issac Mizrahi is game, at least, but he has no flair. And the (who?) actress and the (who?) host may have never been on TV before. They gamely try to build suspense, but honestly, it’s too much for them.
On the plus side, I appreciate them trying to mix things up (although I wonder why they did). I like that they only seem to say nice things about the designers (although sometimes they are too nice), but their challenges are really sad. No one can convince me that the “gelato” challenge was anything more than picking a color to use. And frankly a PR without Tim Gunn is pretty useless. [corrected, thanks to Karen’s comment below]. Why is the new mentor not actually talking about the clothes, she’s just asking them what appears to be fan submitted questions.
The Work of Art judges are just a couple of egotistical asses. I wish they would all go away and bring on people who can actually be constructive, not just nasty. And China Chow. Who is she? Why does she get a say in anything? Look at her clothes! Put her on Project Runway and give us some actual charisma.
The worst thing about Work of Art is that they have come up with a truly awful catch phrase and that they seem to need to stick with it. When they dismiss the artists they have some kind of “clever” summary, which sounds like they wrote it themselves (remember they are art critics not writers). And there’s something very unhelpful about the judging. I really can’t say what it is.
On the other hand, watching the artists work is wonderful. I love when they show stop motion completion of the works. I love hearing them debate (even internally) about what they are doing. It’s amazing to watch these artists create.
Face Off has the worst judge of all. I’m sure that the freaky-looking guy with the crazy hair is an awesome prosthetic creator, but he is such a tool I can’t take him seriously. Which is a shame, because he gets a lot of airtime. The female judge is at least interesting and, even when critical, actually seems to care about the results. I didn’t see last season, so I don’t know if the judges are new or not, but I still really like the creativity in this show.
The final thing that bugs me about all of these reality shows is that they all follow the same blueprint. Why can’t any of them differ just a little. Why do they have to constantly show us things like: designers going to a place they have not been before–cutaway to contestant “oh my gosh, I had no idea where we were going.” Or, artists having an argument–cutaway, “I was, like, so mad.” Both of those things are very obvious. When Heidi says you’re going somewhere but we’re not telling you where, then obviously you don’t know where you are going.
The worst thing about these cutaways is that nobody on any of these shows has anything useful to say in them. They are full of bragging or clichés. Now, again, I know this supposedly builds drama and tells us who to hate, but really, showing them in their environment and how they interact with the other contestants and judges would work just as well and reduce the vapidity level by about 20%. These are artists, not actors.
As for the title of my post, what is it with throwing people under the bus? Is there some sort of line in the contracts that says that that phrase must be said at least once per episode? It was said about 7 times in one judging session of PR. And I recently saw it used in a commercial for some other reality show. A moratorium, please, on the poor busses.
Oh, and Project Runway designers, Christian got kind of famous by saying “hot mess” all the time. This does not mean that you will get kind of famous if you a) repeat it a lot or b) try to come up with your own weirdo phrase. Lightning doesn’t strike all that often.
Boy, it’s fun to rant once in a while. And I know they’ll all listen to my complaints and take action immediately.
DITTO everything.
(This might be the longest reply ever – sorry, I got carried away!)
I still wish they were relegated to cable to get real shows back on the networks, but I guess cable is where all the real shows are now anyhow.
I miss “real shows” too – in fact, I hardly ever watch network tv any more. But don’t hold your breath. Here’s the thing (according to my totally inexpert POV): HBO and Showtime are where good scripted shows live now. The networks can’t compete , so they’ve gone for the shallow end of the gene pool, and that means Fear Factor and family-friendly singing competitons (I’ll get back to that in a minute, since I’m a huge fan of one of those). I don’t do the premium channels, but when Six Feet Under got moved to… was it Bravo?… I loved it. But the kind of people left on network tv wouldn’t be interested. Cop/lawyer/doctor shows with simple tidy endings, simple comedies, and people making fools of themselves, that’s all that’s left for the low end of the dial. Aaron Sorkin (damn, The West Wing was fine stuff; the TwoP thread is still going strong, year after the series ended and years after the last repeats aired. Because every time a politician speaks, some of us see Leo McGeary or President Bartlett) is more suited to Showtime (or is it HBO, don’t remember) these days. I only hope it trickles down to where I am, eventually.
I don’t watch Top Chef because I don’t really believe in a show that I can’t experience the final product. If I can’t taste it, so I don’t trust who thinks it’s the best. Having said that I loved the Japanese Iron Chef (not so much the American one) because it was crazy and theatrical and wonderfully Japanese.
I realize that these shows are more like game shows than genuine reality TV.
I was skeptical about Top Chef, for exactly the reason you state – but it works for me, and now that PR has nosedived (I’ll get tot that) it’s my favorite. I’ll keep complaining about the editing (cutting in shots of people looking angry at opportune moments when that isn’t what happened), the idiotic challenges (I swear they’re trying to kill the chefs this season), and so forth, but then there was the Miracle Season 6, with Daniel Boloud, Hubert Keller, Joel Robuchon, Laurent Tourendel (forgive spelling) at the same table, giving serious comments on technique and flavor. I’ve used many of the things I’ve seen in my own kitchen, and I’ve learned a great deal about cooking overall, balancing flavors, and a kind of theoretical background to great cooking. And then there’s always making fun of Padma’s clothes. 😉
It’s obvious that Tyra Banks is either bonkers or so narcissistic that she’ll never change anything about the show.
Yeah, this is my guilty pleasure. I don’t admit to everyone that I watch it. When I see the earlier episodes, it’s still kind of fun, but then Tyra decided to turn it into her own little pageant. And the contestants got more savvy, which is the problem with all reality shows, after a while you get the people who are just trying to be famous. I don’t know how Tyra gets away with her “I’m so supportive of young women” crap when she’s making a fortune making fun of them week after week.
When Project Runway moved to Lifetime, it changed for the worse.
Oh, did it ever. It’s heartbreaking. I won’t even count the ways. Oh wait – I have, every week. 😉
I don’t care about fashion at all, but Project Runway has gotten me very interested in the construction of clothes and the use of patterns and colors.
Yeah. I wear thermal tees and poly-blend skirts 24/7, I order clothes online every four or five years whether I need them or not, and I have one pair of shoes (I’ve worn exactly the same style for ten years, ordering a new pair every year or two) and one pair of snow boots. And I love PR. I try to look beyond “eww, I wouldn’t wear that” to the elements the designs incorporate – movement, lines, colors. And I do try to understand “trends” though that’s a lot harder for me (I don’t get the granny panty fascination over the past few years, or exposed zippers). I’ve gotten to the point where I “see” April or Gretchen or Mondo in clothes I see elsewhere (I just credited Anthony with Padma’s pink Quickfire dress this past week). No one’s more surprised than I. But as long as I don’t have to worry about what I’m actually buying or wearing, I’m enjoying fashion.
Work of Art has a little behind the scenes stuff, but for the most part it seems to focus on the artists.
I’ve had a lot of trouble with WOA, because I don’t “get” hardly any of the art. I loved Abni’s stuff in the first season; there was a certain style to his computer guy that leapt out at me, and it was borne out in his racecar thing (I think, if I’m remembering correctly) and his final work was astounding, though it was more because of the emotional impact than the visual one. This season, I liked the graffiti things that they hated. But I don’t really get art; I’m still learning, and I’m hanging in there.
No one can convince me that the “gelato” challenge was anything more than picking a color to use.
Yes, it was. But it didn’t have to be, it just ended up that way, partly because of a failure of imagination, and partly because they only had six hours. But think about it – the difference between Vanilla Madagascar (tropical, cool, sophisticated) and Fruits of the Forest (earthy, deep, tangy – I did get a kind of Hiawatha vibe from the mess Jerell made), and Chocolate Cayenne (which I still think should’ve gone Mexican). The more I think about it, the more I appreciate Mondo’s take on cantaloupe – it’s the sort of caftan you’d wear to breakfast.
And frankly a PR with Tim Gunn is pretty useless. Why is the new mentor not actually talking about the clothes, she’s just asking them what appears to be fan submitted questions.
Did you mean “without Tim Gunn”? I miss him so much. I understand Joanna, though; she’s interviewing for a guest editor spot, not helping them produce something for the runway that episode. I actually like her comments, they seem pointed, though moreso in the earliest episodes this season. But she’s not a mentor, she’s a critic. She lost me forever with her idiotic attempt to be funny last season by saying “If Nina wore that everyone would ostracize her and make fun of her and I’d fire her.” Like that’s an acceptable attitude for a business manager.
what is it with throwing people under the bus?
There was a guy on Top Chef who changed it up a little – “you like driving the bus right over people.” And he was right about that person. But yeah, I’d be happy to hear this phrase maybe twice more in my lifetime.
And I have to throw in props for Trading Spaces, which initially was pretty cool (it went downhill fast because it got so popular; funny how that works). It was cool to see interior designers figure out what to do with a space, how to deal with a room being small or oddly shaped or some really ugly element that can’t be changed within the budget. And then there were the spins each put on their designs –I’m going to mess up the names (it’s been years) but there was Laurie who did Laura Ashley French Provincial; Hilde and her insanity; Doug who had a sense of humor; and Vern, who spun straw into gold every time (and now has his own show though I seldom watch it). I wasn’t interested in home design either, but I liked seeing what they did. Bravo did a home design competition, but it didn’t work for me at all; they worked on cubicles most of the time instead of real spaces, so it took a lot of the interest out of it. There was a hotel room challenge, incorporating the elements, that was pretty interesting.
I watch way too much reality tv.
Hey, I gotta put in a pitch for The Sing-Off. It started as a little Christmas hiatus surprise, then this year they made it a full twelve-week series ending in December. I was a singer, a classical singer, and even though I’m not crazy about arrangements of pop songs, I appreciate what these groups do – it’s all a capella with beatboxing etc. Some college clubs, some small pro groups, it’s kind of schmaltzy but Ben Folds is on hand to make intelligent musical commentary. And one word: Pentatonix. Oh, man. Visit Youtube. “Dog Days are Over” and “Video Killed the Radio Star” for starters. Their vocal percussionist, Kevin Olusola, has a YouTube video where he beatboxes while playing the cello – and introduces it in Mandarin Chinese. This is one talented dude.
Ok, I’ll shut up now. TMI?
totally not TMI! How delightful to have a tv conversation with someone! Yes, he did mean “without” Tim Gunn 🙂 And you’re right, Joanna Coles is interviewing for guest editor, not helping them figure out their looks. And she was so horrid when she was on real PR that ugh, I just shudder about her. I also loved Trading Spaces back in the day. In fact, my friend and I wanted to be on but when we looked into the rules none of the rooms in our houses were big enough for their requirements!! Oh, and for the gelato colors we were tickled by “fruits of the forest” because it’s one of our favorite jam flavors. I loved Mondo’s caftan and if I was fabulously wealthy I would wear it while lounging on my terrace eating croissants and melon overlooking the Riviera. And I”d be wearing huge sunglasses.
Hi Sarah – nice to meet you. Yeah, I love it when I find people who don’t sneer when I talk about TV. Especially people who see so many things the way I do 😉
And speaking of the bonkers and narcissistic Tyra Banks… I just watched the Tribute to the Booty Tooch episode (it’s still on, but I so wanted to elbow you in the ribs and point and laugh – “Look at this!” – I couldn’t wait 10 minutes for it to be over). The woman is seriously deranged. I wonder how much time she devoted to classifying tooches into “good” and “bad” (the dookie tooch? WTF?)
Oh my god you are totally right. I really hate her now. I used to sort of enjoy mocking her, but now it is just contempt.