I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: MIKE FORD-Canada Needs You (Volume 1) (2005).

Volume 2 of this series has just come out, but I haven’t received it yet, so I’ll start with Vol. 1

I discovered this series because I love Moxy Fruvous, and any member of the mighty Moxy is worth checking out solo.  Mike Ford has a wonderful voice, a great knack for songwriting and an ability to do multiple genres in one setting.  Couple that with the history of Canada and it’s win-win!  Volume One covers Canada pre-1905, with Volume Two covering up to the present.

I admit to not knowing very much about the song topics on the disc, which is fine, as I learned something new.  And, much like with the two Ferguson books, Mike Ford clearly loves Canada, and is willing to celebrate it without hiding any flaws that might be found.  Which is as it should be for an album or book of this nature: Don’t hide the warts; celebrate the whole picture.

Musically, the disc is as varied as the subject matter.  “I’m Gonna Roam” is a folk song done in a rap style. “Turn Them Oot” is a sea shantyesque sing-along about the Family Compact (and what a great rabble-rouser it is).  The most rocking song, “Sir John A (You’re OK)” is sort of a mock metal song (it’s as metal as a folkie can get…with a chorus from a Grade 7 class).  Imagine rocking the line “RESIDUAL POWERS!”

There’s even a song that sounds as if it was recorded on an old wax cylinder (“Canada Needs You”).  I like this song especially because it is a satire of early 20th century Canadian government attempts to get people to move to Canada (much like the Go West Young Man of the US).  A little snippet of lyrics:

There’s an abundance of everything in Western Canada
Where it’s never ever (hardly ever) cold
And the streets are paved with gold
And you grow rutabegas bigger than a loaf of bread
tomatoes bigger than a horse’s head
There’s milk and honey and a kitchen sink
There’s never any bugs or drought and the farts don’t stink

Some other topics include: a young Native woman who inspired her people (“Thanadelthur”); the voyageurs–with canoe sounds (“Les Voyageurs”); the fact and fiction of the treasure buried on Oak Island, Nova Scotia (“The Oak Island Mystery”); and the importance of Canadian women (“A Woman Works Twice as Hard”).

Perhaps the most fun song on the disc (for style and content) is “I’ve Been Everywhere” in which Ford lists thousands of Canadian towns at superfast speed.  Great good fun. Moncton, Moncton, Moncton, Moncton.

All the lyrics are available in PDF here.  And facts and background info about the songs are available here.  With all of these resources, you’re bound to learn something new about Canada!

[READ: September 2008] How to Be a Canadian

Now this is what I expecting from Why I Hate Canadians–a funny, tongue in cheek look at Canada and all of its quirks.  I got this book on the same trip as Why I Hate Canadians, and since I just read that one, I figured, why not keep it going.  So this book is co-written by Will and his brother Ian Ferguson (apparently there are Fergusons littered across the US and Canada, as their services are called upon throughout the book).  And, hard to tell if this is true, but based on the previous book, Ian must be the funny one in the family, as this book is very funny indeed.

However, it is especially funny if you have just read Why I Hate Canadians because that book gives you the basis for much of the humor in this book.  I imagine that if you are a Canadian, you know most of the stuff that is joked about in this book.  On the other hand, as an American, I know there is a ton of American history that I don’t know, so there are probably many Canadians who are unfamiliar with their history as well.  If so, these two books together provide a decent understanding of (one family’s opinion of) Canada and its past and also give you a lot to laugh about.  What’s interesting is that there is some overlap of information, so even though the book is funny, you learn some things too (or if you read Why I Hate Canadians, the information is reinforced).

The opening sets the tone right away: How to Find Canada on a Map* *(map not included).  The chapter is broken down into many useful facets:  Government, Economy (“The main product manufactured in Canada is snow”).  Currency (“Two loonies= about 50 cents U.S.”)  [Ah, how naive that seems now when as of today: September 22, 2008, two loonies equals $1.94 U.S.].  National Anthem (“The theme song from Hockey Night in Canada has more resonance among Canadians than any other piece of music”).

The book is broken down into many short chapters, and each chapter has a summary at the end where you can see if you learned anything.  Despite the humorous tone, there is a ton of factual (or at least opinion-al) information about Canada.  A personal favorite is the History section.  They begin:

Canadian history is incredibly boring.  For example: In the 1600s the French settlers waged  a frontier guerrilla war against the Iroquois Confederacy, and later when the English move din, a vast imperial conflict ranged from Newfoundland to the frozen shores of Hudson Bay….

and on for a densely packed page of exciting battles.

Some other fun sections include How to Insult Canadians (with regional insults for cross-country offenses), How to Drive Like a Canadian (with regional insults for cross country-offenses).  You get the general sense of what’s going on here, right?

But in case you don’t, the chapter subtitles really tell you about the humor of the book: Learning the Language: How to Talk Like a Canadian.  (Basically, Americans can’t say “Eh?” correctly).  Leisure Activities: How to Watch TV Like a Canadian (“I only watch the CBC” the American equivalent is people who say “I don’t watch TV, except for the History Channel” [which is a total pet peeve of mine as if somehow The History Channel is “better” than other channels…these are the same people who say they only read nonfiction, as if you can’t learn a lot about life from fiction].  Beer: How to drink like a Canadian (with a really fascinating and funny introduction to the differences between English, American and Canadian beer….Canadian beer isn’t that much stronger (it is measured differently) but it does taste better.)  Progressive Conservatives, Responsible Government and Other Oxymororns: How to Rule Like a Canadian (which covers a lot of the grievances from Why I Hate Canadians but in a much much funnier way).

And then of course, there’s the end: The Quiz: You May Already Be a Canadian!: Take the Quiz and Find Out.  This is a fun and more than slightly ridiculous quiz, in which the multiple choice options are as funny as the questions.

What’s great about the book overall is the sense of pride that the authors take in being Canadian.  And yet their pride comes across in their ability to mock not only Canada’s foibles but also its proudest moments.  It’s a really great book if you’d like to learn a thing or two about the Great White North.  Although there’s no mention of “hoser” anywhere.