David Foster Wallace, one of my favorite authors, killed himself (apparently) this weekend. As a fan of his work, I’m pretty bummed about that. However, I suppose it is somewhat par for the course that a creative person be unhappy (see, well, all of history). I don’t know a thing about DWF personally. When I met him at a book signing he seemed happy enough, (well, he seemed exhausted) but how can you tell what a person is like if you meet him for 35 seconds.
In my write up of Julie Hecht, I said she seemed like a person I wouldn’t want to be friends with. From the very little information I gained about DFW, I suspect I could have been friends with him, although you never know. Perhaps he was suicidal all the time. Perhaps he had a depressive personality. Perhaps he used big words all the time and got really annoying. I’ll never know for sure, and that’s okay too.
I understand that depressed people can’t see past their depression. However, the thing that really bugs me about this apparent suicide is that his wife found him hanging. Now, I don’t know a thing about his marriage, but I can’t imagine how you could ever let your wife find you after you’ve killed yourself. It seems like an especially cruel thing to do to someone who (presumably) loves you.
Regardless, it won’t effect how I feel about his works, and maybe someday I’ll re-read Infinite Jest. I guess it’s best if you don’t get to meet your favorite authors after all.
[UPDATE: September 23, 2008]
I’ve been reading the obituaries of DFW, and learned that he had been on antidepressants for years. While I stand by my above comments, it does explain a lot. It’s a wonder that he was able to be creative at all.
I Just Read About That... 
“Don’t sit too close at the ballet. It ruins the illusion.”
Same could be said about meeting heroes–the super kind or the garden variety.
And not to be the jerk in this one-sided conversation, but someone about to kill themselves is really thinking of the consequences. Their thought process pretty much ends with the whole dying part.
I have to agree with you, your spouse shouldn’t have to be the nancy drew on that sort of thing.
Yeah, I know, Swirlygirl. It’s ridiculous to simplify anybody’s thought process, especially someone on the verge of suicide.
It makes me think of that exchange in Say Anything:
“How hard is it just to decide to be in a good mood, and then be in a good mood”
“Gee. It’s easy.”
Still our actions always impact those around us, which you’d hope would be enough… (emphasis hope).
I agree.
But when I think about it, I don’t think that anyone likes to see their actions having an impact on others. That would imply a sense of responsibility.
I for one don’t like that I could lord that type of power–because that’s what it is in a sense, power–over people. And I don’t want to think that anyone has that to lord over me.
The Say Anything quote I like very much. It illustrates something that many people fail to see. You have Loyd who is, emotionally at least, baggage free. There there is his sister that is older, and obviously got enough emotional bagged for the both of them. I love that it’s never really fully explored, but you just know.
Good post. I got to see DFW about two years ago, and heard him read what was obviously part of his next novel–which will sadly never be. I thought he was extremely charming and down to earth. And I feel horrible for his wife. I am very close to someone who had such an experience, and this person is now medicated to prevent the panic attacks that started with that terrible night. It’s all so sad.
I hate to think that he’s leaving something unifnished.
I wonder what his students think of the whole thing. I was pretty close toa professor in college and couldn’t imagine what that would have done to me.