I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: THE ATARIS-So Long, Astoria (2003) & THE STARTING LINE-Say It Like You Mean It (2002).

THE ATARIS-So Long, Astoria. I am only reviewing this CD because of the circumstances in which I acquired it. Driving out of my driveway this morning, I was surprised by a shiny thing in my lawn. It turned out to be a CD. This one. Indeed, someone had thrown this CD out of their car (I assume) onto my lawn. [Later inspection uncovered two more CDs, one by a band I didn’t recognize and the other a burned CD with no writing on it… I can’t WAIT to see what it is!] So, anyhow, I had not heard the Ataris before, but had heard of them. And the record is okay. It’s sort of generic pop punk, meaning it is really catchy and fairly fast and I probably would have loved it if I were 18. Or maybe 16. This also features the cover of “Boys of Summer” that I remember hearing on the radio oh so many years ago. The only distinguishing feature of the song is they change the lyrics to a “Black Flag sticker on a Cadillac.” Otherwise, not much else of note.

I’m sort of amazed at how many bands there are that sound like this, which leads me to believe that this kind of music must be easy to write. And yet, it seems like all of this kind of music should just be huge sellers. I mean, I’m half way through a 2:30 song, and I already know the chorus and what the next verse will sound like. It’s so easy to play along to, shouldn’t it be easy to write as well? I dunno. I’m also not sure what I’m going to do with the disk when I’m done, maybe I’ll toss it to someone else.

THE STARTING LINE-Say It Like You Mean It. Speaking of this kind of music, the other CD I mentioned above turned out to be this one by The Starting Line. This is similar to the Ataris in that it’s a poppy punk album. It seems effortlessly happy, as opposed to the usual tormented lyrics that bands like this usually have. I liked the music a little better than the Ataris because it was a little grittier and a little less obvious, but only a little. Of the two, this one wins, but not by much.

Sadly, the third disk was a collection of hip hop, mostly Dr. Dre produced acts. After the third song which said “bitch” about 75 times, I gave up.

[READ: May 2007] McSweeney’s #21

As part of my ongoing McSweeney’s reading, I enjoyed Issue #21 very much. As I have said before, I love Roddy Doyle’s work, so any more that I can get from him is always welcome. I have a tenuous connection to Roddy Doyle which is so tenuous as to be nonexistent, but it still makes me root for him all the more. My college roommate was from Ireland, and he had been taught Literature by Roddy Doyle just before he wrote his first book, The Commitments. As I say, no real connection at all, but it was still neat to know a guy who knew a guy….

The gimmick of #21 is that the inside cover folds out to make the book look like a box, or one continuous piece of art. Fun! The other gimmick, if I can call it that is that each story is followed by a letter from a different person to Ray Charles dated from 1999. They are a strange amalgam of letters, all genuine, and all typically asking Ray for assistance. They are all very amusing. Overall, the issue was a good one. Lots of solid stories and only a few clunkers.

CHLOE HOOPER-“The Tall Man”
I took this story to be factual for a good solid part of it. It is written so much as a matter of record, that I assumed it was true. It concerns the situation of aboriginals in Australia, and their inherent second class citizen status when it comes to the white police officers. A very depressing story.

STEPHEN ELLIOTT- “Hate to Be Alone”
A psychosexual story about a married woman having an affair with a man and how they must breakup after spending four glorious (but really not) days together having kinky sex and rehashing their time together.

RODDY DOYLE-“The Pram”
This story strays from the school stories that Roddy does so well. He has, of course, moved onto more mature subjects since his days of writing funny books, and this is one of those more mature stories. It focuses on Alina, an immigrant to Ireland who minds O’Reilly (the mother)’s children. O’Reilly is a hard woman who distrusts Alina and who takes her children’s side of the story whenever they say Alina did something wrong. Alina gets her revenge by telling the children the story of a haunted pram, which she makes up on the spot. The children grow increasingly terrified, but the real fright happens in Alina’s mind as she grows ever more concerned for the actual baby she is supposed to be minding in the pram. It gets very dark in this little world.

RAJESH PARAMESWARAN-“The Strange Case of Doctor Rajan Gopalarajan”
This was a funny, if not disgusting, story about Manju who becomes convinced that he can become a doctor after reading manuals in the library. His wife is used to a quality lifestyle, so he cannot tell her when he gets fired from CompUSA. He invents a life as a doctor, primarily looking after illegal immigrants near the Mexican border. When his first surgery goes horribly awry, and his wife hears of the fabulous “Rajan Gopalarajsn” (Manhu’s assumed name) through a mutual friend, parallel stories meet in a bloody climax.

MIRANDA JULY-“Majesty”
A funny short story about a woman’s fantasy obsession with Prince William and all the inappropriate things she’d like to do with him. Sadly, it takes a dark turn when the story morphs into the hunt for a lost dog. I enjoyed the first part much more.

ARTHUR BRADFORD-“Snakebite”
A very funny story about three people on the way to an outdoor wedding, who pick up a man who was bitten by a snake. The drunken victim winds up causing a huge scene at the wedding. The people offended by this behavior are pretty unlikable which makes the proceedings all the more funny.

YANNICK MURPHY-“The Lost Breed”
A brief story of a group of people on a doomed mission in search of Mucuchies. However, because of their wholly inappropriate vehicles (Cadillacs instead of Jeeps), they cannot get into the woods where they believe these dogs are. Because they have been turned away form their goal, they wind up going to a far less treacherous area and spying a lek of Cocks of the Rock, the rarest bird in the country. When they return home, this news provokes jealousy from those who had Jeeps and found nothing deep in the heart of the jungle. A funny and unusual story. It was not until the last page that I realized the narrator was a woman.

A. NATHAN WEST-“The Balloon”
An odd story about parents growing old and how children deal with it.

HOLLY TAVEL-“Last Words”
A fantastic (in both senses of the word) story about a hyacinth macaw who tells his new owner about his illustrious past, and how unacceptable he finds his current living situation. The owner, at first skeptical, becomes convinced of the bird’s story and rearranges his life to please the bird.

GREG AMES-“I Feel Free”
A weird and funny story about a fellow who is dating a woman being stalked by her ex. Eventually, the ex begins moving his stuff into the fellow’s house. The ex is a scary man with one weakness, which the fellow gets to exploit. This all takes places to the pulsing rhythms of Cream’s “I Feel Free.” Great stuff.

KEVIN MOFFETT-“Serenade”
A man fantasizes about the relationships he has had with the anonymous women on the street. A slight story but interesting nonetheless.

PETER ORNER-“Pampkin’s Lament”
A sad tale about Mike Pampkin who agrees to run in a no-chance-to-win election, and the consequences that befall him. A moving story.

CHRISTIAN WINN-“Rough Cut”
This story has stayed with me for quite some time, possibly because I keep seeing Mormons in entertainment lately. At any rate, the story concerns a guy who tries to prove his mettle by beating up a couple of Mormons walking down the street. He is utterly shocked when he finds out the Mormon can defend himself. The visuals in this story were really strong, and I still imagine it when I see stereotypical Mormons on TV.

JOYCE CAROL OATES-“Grandpa Clemens & Angelfish 1906”
A weird story about Grandpa Clemens (Mark Twain) and his relationship with his Angelfish (young girls under the age of 14 whose company he enjoys, often to the chagrin of their parents.) I was relived to see in the postscript that this was a work of fiction, but disturbed to find that it has basis in fact. It makes Clemens seem like a dirty old man regardless of his intentions. A very compelling read, and yet another JCO story I won’t forget soon.