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Archive for the ‘Babies’ Category

meanwhileSOUNDTRACK:  DUSTIN THE TURKEY-“Funky Ford Cortina” (1994).

dustinDustin is a turkey.  Dustin has had hit singles.  Dustin has even run for President of Ireland.

If you recall pop hits from a bygone era you may be able to tell exactly what this song is a parody of.

And it is a straight up parody of the song.  Perhaps the funniest thing about it is Dustin’s heavy Dublin accent rapping these words.  And, of course, thinking of a Ford Cortina as being funky.

This song will never, ever get old.

[READ: February 3, 2013] The Meanwhile Adventures

The final book in this silly trilogy throws out all the stops.  And at 174 pages it’s considerably larger than the previous two.

Once again, I can’t help but feel that Doyle must have had so much fun writing this anarchic absurdity.  Especially after his far more serious books–this must have felt like a breath of fresh (poo filled) air.

This story is cheeky right from the start with an italicized reader interrupting the story constantly to say that it is boring.

Once upon a  time there was a little girl who lived in a house made of gingerbread–
Boring

But eventually it gets going.  Mister Mack, the head of household for all three books was laid off from his job as a biscuit tester (remember kids, biscuit means cookie in Ireland).  People in Ireland were dieting so they were only going to be selling the dry boring cream crackers (which Mister Mack hated) from now on.  So he decides to become an inventor.  And he invents a saw that looks just like a machine gun.  (Why?  Why not).  But when he brings the saw to the bank to apply for a loan, he is arrested because everyone thinks it’s a gun. (more…)

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roverSOUNDTRACK:  DUSTIN THE TURKEY-“Irelande Douze Pointe” (2008).

irelandeIn 2008, Ireland nominated this song to the Eurovision contest.  Dustin, for those not in Europe, is a turkey puppet from a kids show (with a number of hit singles, apparently).

The title is a misspelling of the French for Ireland and Douze Pointe translates as 12 Points (because 12 is the highest result you can get in the contest).  The song begins as a wobbly sorta traditional-sounding Irish ballad about how he comes from a nation of great songwriters (Ireland has won Eurovision 7 times, although interestingly had not been doing so well in the years leading up to 2008).

Then it turns into a more suitably Eurovision song–a rollicking high energy dance, with flashing lights, sparkly costumes and a chorus that goes G-O-double B-L-E.

The reaction is pretty funny with lots of boos in the audience.  Shockingly, it did not come last that year, although it failed to make it into the finals.

Check it out in all of its absurd glory:

[READ: February 3, 2013] Rover Saves Christmas

The Giggler Treatment proved to be Part One of a trilogy (Doyle really has a thing for trilogies).  Rover Saves Christmas is the second in the series.  It doesn’t really follow as a part two or anything although the characters are all the same.

The title pretty much gives away the action here.  Rover, the dog from Giggler who sells his poo, is called upon by a Christmas elf to help save Christmas because Rudolph is under the weather (he’s taking his day off on the one day of the year when he works).  And so, they strap Rover into the sleigh and off they go.

And really that’s pretty much all of the book.  But the humor (and there’s a lot of humor) comes in the details.

Like that the book opens with a description of Dublin at Christmastime: “the lizards were wearing flip-flops and the cacti that line the streets of the city were gasping.”  Irish kids will find this hilarious.  American kids may not know that that’s not what Dublin is like, but that’s their own fault.  There’s also the funny repeated joke of the two toddlers knowing how to say only one thing “Who are you?” and “bum bum,” but those who know them well know what they mean each time they say it.  Which leads to very funny results.  And also leads the reader to be confused until he or she remembers that the baby saying “Who are you” means something else. (more…)

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sdbSOUNDTRACK: THE DOUBLECLICKS “Worst Superpower Ever” (2012).

worst

A simple strummed acoustic guitar plays slowly as the singer lists a series of Super Powers you may or may not want.  The cello comes in on the second verse  where the actual superpowers aren’t that great either.

The strange thing is that the worst super power options really aren’t that bad–not great super powers I agree, but being able to predict what someone else will wear is certainly not worse than a lot of other powers one could have.

I really want to love this band, but I fear that they’re always not quite but almost awesome.  Still, there are worse things you could be than that.

[READ: January 22, 2013] The Adventures of Super Diaper Baby

I am disappointed in myself for having read this out of sequence (Super Diaper Baby comes after Captain Underpants book 5).

The premise behind this graphic novel is that George and Harold, co-creators of Captain Underpants are being punished (yet again).  They must write a 100 page paper about being a good citizen.  But, and this is the important part, Principal Krupp says they can’t make a Captain Underpants comic (which they can’t understand as the Captain is a great citizen!).

But Krupp never said they couldn’t make a  new comic.  And lo, the birth of Super Diaper Baby.  There’s some wonderful funny jokes in the beginning like when the nurse says “name” and they say they haven’t picked one yet, but she means their name (that misunderstanding kind of joke gets reused a few times for more hilarious results).

Just as normal baby Billy is being born (and there’s a very funny “Billy Don’t be a Hero” joke that no kids will ever get), Deputy Dangerous and Danger Dog are up to no good.  They trap Captain Underpants and get ready to drink a formula that gives them super powers.  First Danger Dog takes some and is able to fly.  But before Deputy Dangerous can take any, the police chase him and he rides off on Danger Dog.

When the doctor goes to spank Billy for the first time, he launches the baby right out the window (a crazy joke that really made me laugh) and into the magic potion that Deputy Dangerous was carrying.  And in glorious Flip-O-Rama (which is all over this book!) Super Diaper Baby is realized (and beats up the Deputy).

The Deputy seeks revenge and in a sequence that had me laughing for easily five minutes (because I am clearly eight years old), the plans go horribly wrong and involve a dirty diaper.  It was a fairly obvious joke and yet something about the fact that he actually did it (and the subsequent name calling) was just too funny. (more…)

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CV1_TNY_02_04_13Schossow.inddSOUNDTRACK: GARBAGE-Bleed Like Me (2005).

Wbleedhat happens when you take something slick and shiny and remove the shine?  You get something slick and dull.  And that’s the overall feel of Garbage’s fourth album.  After the dance pop of Beautiful Garbage, Bleed Like Me was d described as a return to the rock roots of Garbage.  And it’s true that there’s a lot more guitar.  But as in the production of Beautiful, the guitars feel really anemic–again, coming from Bitch Vig who made Nirvana’s guitars roar, this is a major surprise.

Worse than the production though s the utterly generic feel of the songs and the lyrics.  Manson was most powerful when she was personal.  Even if the songs were oblique, you knew they were about something.  But these songs just feel like words, and she sings them as if they were just words.

The single was “Why Do You Love Me” and it opens with a powerful heavy metal guitar riff.  But the verses quiet down and the chorus is fast but without any oomph.  It’s quickly forgotten and even the lyrics: “Why do you love me it’s driving me crazy” don’t really make you want to learn more about it.  “Run Baby Run” had potential for a radio friendly hit but it’s also quickly forgotten.

Then there’s the songs that seem to be about something.  “Sex is Not the Enemy” seems like it could be transgressive but it’s really not–it feels like a last stand from a beaten person rather than a rocking anthem.  Musically it’s mediocre and even lyrically it’s not that shocking/surprising.

“Boys Wanna Fight” brings some of that electronic feel back and it injects some life into the disc, but again the song isn’t that inspiring.

I wonder how much I would have liked this album without the history behind it.  I know that bands need to experiment and try different things, but it felt like Garbage fell especially far from the heights that I held them.  Garbage tool a pretty lengthy hiatus after this album–Shirley went into acting (catch her on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) and it seemed like the band was finished.

[READ: February 7, 2010] “Zusya on the Roof”

I read a story with a very similar setup recently (not implying that Krauss read it or anything).  In Russell Banks’ story “Christmas Party” a divorced man goes to his ex-wife’s new house and takes her newborn baby and…  the story ends.  [Spoiler, sort of].  This story has a similar arc.  And I guess I don’t understand this arc.  Or maybe, although I’m usually okay with endings that are vague, when you have a person with a baby, there are so many different possible endings that not leaning in one way or the other is just unfair–yes we can get clues from the story, but one never fully knows what a person’s intentions are.

This story also relies a lit on Jewish tradition.  And I find a lot of Orthodox behavior inscrutable (as Zusya seems to).  So I tend to get lost in the traditions.  Especially when, as in this story, names are used to indicate a tradition that I simply don;t know (and yes, this is my fault, not the author’s, unless she wanted to appeal to a goyish crowd).

So in this story, Zusya is about to become a grandfather.  But he falls ill just as his grandson is about to be born.  In his haze of hospital care, the grandson is born and he imagines that he gave birth to the boy–a kind of my life for his deal.  And when the grandfather recovers, he has strong emotional ties to the boy. (more…)

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hermotherSOUNDTRACK: FIONA APPLE-The Idler Wheel is Wiser than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords will Serve You More than Ropes Will Ever Do [bonus DVD] (2012).

idlerThe deluxe package of The Idler Wheel comes with a bonus DVD.  It also comes with a ton of idle scratchings from Fiona–lyrics, artwork (which is weird but good), postcards and all manner of things.  I wasn’t particularly interested in that stuff, although I am pleasantly surprised by her drawing skills.  Mostly I wanted to check out the DVD.

So the DVD is actually a five song concert excerpt from SXSW filmed by NPR.  I have to assume that the show was more than these five songs (because there are breaks in the video and because there’s no way she would do just five songs).  Also, the NPR page for the show says she played a few different songs from Idler Wheel.  There’s audio for the show on the site (three of the five songs) which kind of makes the DVD extraneous, except that you get to watch her perform.

When Fiona was younger there was much talk of her videos being too sexualized.  And I suppose “Criminal” fit that bill.  As such, she has become something of a visual artist by virtue of her body.  I’d always thought that she was too skinny, but she seems even more so now.  And yet for all the waifiness of her (are you still a waif when you’re 35?), her voice is till strong and powerful and she can belt the hell out of a song (perhaps with a little too much forced vibrato at times).

She seems a little at a loss when she’s in that awkward frontwoman space (my guitarist is playing a rocking solo–what do I do?).  She dances somewhat (which NPR describes as confidently but I read as awkwardly, huh).

In this live setting the songs take on a new, looser feel.  As I mentioned, the guitarist  really lets loose (and he sounds great–there’s even one moment when Fiona walks over to the piano and leans on it to watch the guitarist jam).  The band sounds great together and yes Fiona sounds great too.

I actually saw Fiona live in Boston on the tour for her debut album.  Unfortunately, the place was mobbed with tweeny girls (was that her target market?) who screamed and shrieked through the whole set.  It was one of the worst shows I’d ever seen, through no fault of the performer, who I honestly don’t remember at all.  I’ll bet without the devoted screamers the show would have been as interesting as this one seems like it was.

Tracks on the DVD include “Fast As You Can,” “A Mistake,” “Anything We Want,” “Sleep To Dream” and “Every Single Night.”  On the NPR page you can hear “Fast As You Can,” “A Mistake,” and “Every Single Night” as well as “Extraordinary Machine” (on which she hits some amazing high notes!).  There’s no “Sleep to Dream” (which has a very different style than on the record–I almost didn’t recognize it) or “Anything We Want” which sounds great live, especially since she (presumably) plays the introductory percussion (which I assume is looped?) on some strange object.  This was the first time most of us had heard “Every Single Night” and I remember thinking it sounded good but so uncomplicated that I was worried that the album would be a little…flat.  Boy was I wrong.  And now hearing it again, I can hear just how subtle and complex the song is.

[READ: January 28, 2013] Her Mother’s Face

This was Roddy Doyle’s first picture book (you can see that once I found out that he had written children’s books I had to get them all from the library).  I read this after Greyhound of Girl, and assumed that it was a slimmed down version of Greyhound.  But now that I see that this came first I’m inclined to believe that this book was the inspiration for Greyhound.

Many of the basic details are the same as Greyhound–a girl whose mother died when she was three years old; a ghost visits her and gives her solace.  That may not seem like a lot of similarity but in terms of plot that’s really all both books have (it’s the details that really make both stories).

But they are very different books meant for different audiences.  Face is a picture book and the illustrations by Freya Blackwood are simply gorgeous.  Really they are quite mesmerizing in their beauty.  I read it to myself and decided that it’s not really meant for my kids.  Neither of them are really old enough to get it (and the death of the mom at age three might lead to more questions than I need to answer at the moment).

It’s wordy for a picture book and it doesn’t have much of Doyle’s humor in it.  This is serious book. (more…)

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gigglerSOUNDTRACK: SCRUBS-“Everything Comes Down to Poo” (2007).

Iscrubsn season 7 of Scrubs, they created a musical episode (trendy yes, but pretty much always funny) called “My Musical.”  One of the highlights was the song “Everything Comes Down to Poo” in which Turk and JD sing to a patient that they need a stool sample.  The song is full of a ton of different terms for poo and where it comes out (and it’s all rated PG).

It’s very funny and quite clever, given the subject.  Who doesn’t love seeing a chorus of doctors and nurses high kicking down a hospital corridor singing “Everything comes down to poo.”

Enjoy:

[READ: January 30, 2013] The Giggler Treatment

Who knew that Roddy Doyle, humorist of Barrytown and very serious chronicler of women’s pain would write an outrageously silly children’s book about dog poo?  I don’t know what prompted him to write this book (he has written several children’s books since), but he manages the chapter book format with aplomb and a slight (hilarious) disrespect for the genre.

So The Giggler Treatment is structured in a manner not unlike Nicholson Baker’s early novels in that pretty much all of the action takes place over the span of about a minute.  Mister Mack is about to step in a huge pile of dog poo.  And  the story flashes around to different pieces of information as we watch with bated breath for his shoe to inch its way closer to fate.

Mister Mack is a decent bloke, a good father, a hardworking biscuit taster (a different biscuit every day from the factory where he works).  [Incidentally, I assume that these details are extra for the American edition, but Doyle includes a warning that explains that biscuits are what they call cookies in Ireland. There’s also a hilarious glossary which translate rudies, bums, knickers and other things for young U.S readers.]  Mister Mack is on his way to work, but is distracted by a talking seagull (who hates fish) and while his head is turned his foot is headed right Rover’s poo. (more…)

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greyhoundSOUNDTRACK: BIG BANG BOOM-“Hippie Mom” (2012).

big bangThis song is a loving tribute to crunchy, loving hippie moms (“granola making yoga taking,”  “I love to watch her twirl and sing.  She loves me more than anything.”)  While the song definitely teases some of the clichés of a hippie mom, it is a sweet, happy song.

It’s got a kind of rockabilly sound that makes you want to tap your feet and sing along.  I’d not hear of Big Bang Boom before, but I need to hear more from them.

[READ: January 28, 2013] A Greyhound of a Girl

After reading Doyle’s story in McSweeney’s recently I checked out to see what he had been up to.  I had no idea he had written a series of children’s books.  And this one was the most recent (and the library had it!), so I had to see what Mr Doyle could do for kids.

Well, this is an extremely heartwarming and sad story about four generations of Irish women.  It’s delightfully simple with very few characters.  And for that, it packs a wallop.

Mary is a twelve-year-old girl living in Dublin.  She has two brothers, who don’t really enter the story but I mention them since their names are Killer and Dommo.  Mary’s best friend, Ava, has just moved away and she is devastated.  On the way home from school–the way she usually walks with Ava, an old woman–well, she’s actually young, like a young adult, but she is dressed old and talks like her granny–asks about her gran.  Her gran, Emer, is in the hospital.  She’s very old and is clearly not long for the world.

Mary tells her mother, Scarlett, about the old woman and how the old woman seemed to know her gran.  She’d said her name was Tansey.  Scarlett is taken aback.  She explains that Emer’s mother was named Tansey, and isn’t that a weird coincidence.  Then, we flashback and learn the history of this family.  Tansey died when Emer was but  three years old.  Tansey’s mother helped to raise Emer and her baby brother with their father.  Later, Emer gave birth to Scarlett, and 12 years ago Scarlett had Mary.  We learn about the farm that Emer grew up on and how she hated the greyhounds that her father raised for racing–they were too skinny and pointy. (more…)

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3rdSOUNDTRACK: PHINEAS AND FERB-“I Really Don’t Hate Christmas” (2009).

doofenI have grown to love Phineas and Ferb ever so much  in the past year.  Holy cow it makes me laugh so much  that I would totally watch  it even without the kids around.

This song, sung by the evil Dr Doofenshmirtz, explains how he has a backstory that makes him hate every holiday except Christmas–he just has a burning indifference to it.  The song is catchy and funny.

Of course since he is an evil scientist, he finds a reason to hate Christmas and launch his naughtyinator.  When carolers come to his door and repeat over and over that they want figgy pudding, he begins to get quite annoyed.  And we get this hilarious exchange:

CAROLERS: (singing) We won’t go until we get some, we won’t go until we get some….

DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ: What? Are you threatening me? How dare you! No one barges into my home and demands desserts! What sort of plan is that anyway? “Let’s go to a stranger’s house, sing songs to him, and refuse to leave unless he hands us a food dish no one’s prepared since the 16th century!”

Just in time for the holidays:

[READ: December 20, 2012] Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Third Wheel

Clark was more excited for this book than I was!  As soon as he saw it, he grabbed it and ran into his room to read it (for which I was both proud and a little annoyed as I wanted to read it).  I’m not sure how much he could have enjoyed it as it is all about going on a date, but he seemed to like it.

It’s not all about a date though.  It begins with Greg reminiscing about his time in the womb (a very odd thing for Clark to read, I’m sure).  rtHis mom listening to Mozart and just how much he could hear while in there.  Then he talks about his life as a wee one, which is very funny–he learned how to take the batteries out of the remote so his mom couldn’t put the educational shows back on (he’s also annoyed that Manny gets to watch whatever he wants now–no educational TV for him).

But Manny doesn’t come out on top all the time–there’s the boy who acts like a vampire at Sunday School and scares Manny to bits.  This may be why Manny only has imaginary friends (well, that and the fact that their mom reads Manny the children’s book she wrote about the boy who used to bite Greg–it  terrifies Manny).  Of course, the imaginary friends get in trouble for all the things Manny does (maybe Manny does come out on top all the time after all).

One of the funnier aspects of the Wimpy Kid series is the locations that they go to.  Like Corny’s, the family restaurant where the key is fun (not food), and the first time they went Greg almost sat on a PB&J sandwich that was never cleared away.  (And wait till you see what the family next to them are doing!). (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: THE SMITHS-“Girlfriend in a Coma” (1987).

Big bouncy basslines open this poppy little ditty that belies its happy music by saying “I know it’s serious.”  The song is catchy and poppy and then there are some strings and martial drums and in 2 minutes it’s over.  What a strange and wonderful single from the Smith’s final album.

The single came with two B-Sides.  “Work is a Four Letter Word” which I never realized was a cover until reading about it now.  Of course it does seem very un-Smiths upon reflection.  And apparently Johnny Marr hated it.  “I Keep Mine Hidden” is the second B-Side.  I thought I had heard every Smiths song, but I don’t recognize this one at all.  It’s an okay song, not exactly a great hidden gem or anything.  If it were on the album, you;d say it should have been a B-side.  So, well done, lads.

The craziest thing about this whole single–three songs–is that it is under 7 minutes long in total.    Ah, I remember the 80s.

[READ: October 14, 2012] Girlfriend in a Coma

I’m glad I watched the short film Close Personal Friend just before reading  this because it really did put forth a lot of the ideas in this story.  The crazy thing is that I read  this book in 1998 but I didn’t remember very much of the story until the very end (which is surprising given how over the top some of the scenes are!).

And, let’s not overlook the Smiths connection.  Not only is the title a Smiths song, but there are dozens of instances where Coupland includes Smiths song titles and lyrics, sometimes in conversation.  In a short succession I saw: the queen is dead, oscillate wildly, bigmouth strikes again, hand in glove.  It’s like a scavenger hunt.

But on to the book. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: CIRCLE TAKES THE SQUARE Live at Black Cat Washington DC, August 31, 2011 (2011).

I had never heard of Circle Takes the Square before seeing the link to this show on NPR (Thank you, Viking!).  I like the band name (Hollywood Squares reference), and couldn’t imagine what they sounded like.

Song titles like “In the Nervous Light of Sunday” and “We’re Sustained by the Corpse of a Fallen Constellation” and even “Non-Objective Portrait of Karma” lead one in many possible directions.  But it turns out that the band is sort of pigeonholed as screamo, a post-hardcore style that allows mostly for screamed vocals.  And yet these guys also incorporate intricate playing, odd time signatures and some beautiful instrumental passages.

Even though the band plays fast, they don’t play only short songs.  The shortest songs run about three minutes but they have two songs that are over 6 minutes, with several different sections.

I listened to this show a few times and I confess I never really got into it.  I liked some of it but I was never fully able to grasp what was going on.  It could have been the recording quality.  Usually NPR shows are crystal clear, but this one was a bit muddy–which may have been intentional from the band as they are pretty raw sounding.  I did like  the split male/female vocals which added a cool depth to the songs.  But mostly I was impressed by the kind and almost sweet attitude of the lead singer.  He was polite and thankful to the audience (thanking them for braving the weather–the show was during Hurricane Irene–thanking them for coming from both far and near and talking about how excited he was about Pg. 99, the headliners.  It’s funny to hear polite thankfulness and then screaming lyrics like: “Embrace the sweet sound of self-destruction.”

I’d like to hear a studio release before passing final judgment, because there was a lot to like here.

[READ: August 29, 2012] Habibi

I saw this book in a review by Zadie Smith in Harper’s a while back.  I didn’t realize at the time that the author was the same person who did the wonderful Blankets.

This book is an amazing piece of art.  And the story is very good too.

So this massive book (almost 700 pages) is the story of  a woman born into a fictional Middle Eastern country called where the Qur’an is studied and women are more or less chattel.  As the story opens Dodola is sold by her father to a wealthy man who becomes her husband.  The scene of her deflowering, while not graphic at all, is very disturbing nonetheless.  She is afraid of this man and cowers in the fear until they gradually start to see each other as human beings.  And although their age difference is substantial (and yes, gross), she learns to appreciate him.

Until he his killed by the king’s men and Dodola is taken away to the king’s palace to be sold as a slave–her hair is tied to another girl’s hair so they cannot escape.

Through a series of events, she does escape, and when she is hiding out she manages to save the life of a black baby named Cham.  She calls him Zam after the Well of Zamzam (Arabic: زمزم‎) in Mecca, the holiest place in Islam.  And while she is only 12, she takes care of this 3-year-old boy and raises him as her own child. (more…)

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