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SOUNDTRACK:

[READ: December 2, 2023] “The Virgin Oyster”

This year my wife ordered me The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This is my sixth time reading the Calendar–it’s a holiday tradition!  Here’s what H&O says about the calendar this year.

The 2023 Short Story Advent Calendar is a deluxe box set of individual short stories from some of the best writers in North America and beyond.  Now in its ninth year, the SSAC is back to once again bring readers a deluxe, peppermint-fresh collection of 25 short stories from some of the best writers in North America and beyond.

The author of this story was Jessica Anthony.  Each day has an online component with the author with a brief interview.

It’s December 2. Jessica Anthony, author of Enter the Aardvark, has time to lean, but no time to clean.

This was an odd story.

It’s about a young man who works in a strip club called XXXX.  Wednesday night is oyster night and they call him Oyster Boy because he has to run across town to get the oysters for the club,

He gets $2.25 an hour plus tips (and the tips are really good on oyster night). (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK:

[READ: December 1, 2023] “Notes on the Craft of Fiction”

This year my wife ordered me The Short Story Advent Calendar.  This is my sixth time reading the Calendar–it’s a holiday tradition!  Here’s what H&O says about the calendar this year.

The 2023 Short Story Advent Calendar is a deluxe box set of individual short stories from some of the best writers in North America and beyond.  Now in its ninth year, the SSAC is back to once again bring readers a deluxe, peppermint-fresh collection of 25 short stories from some of the best writers in North America and beyond.

The author of this story was Sam Shelstad.  Each day has an online component with the author with a brief interview.

It’s December 1. To officially kick off the 2023 Short Story Advent Calendar, here are some iron-clad rules for writing your own short story by the author of Cop House.

This story was really quite funny and was a great way to start the collection.

Shelstad explains

The story is excerpted from my novel The Cobra and the Key, which came out this October with Touchwood Editions. The novel takes the form of a creative-writing guide, where the guide’s fictional author can’t help but reference his personal life and autobiographical works while dispensing misguided writing advice, which is how the narrative breaks through. The excerpt takes sections from the first few chapters and, while these sections are more focused on the misguided writing advice side of things, a sense of the narrator and his various delusions begins to emerge.

In no way does it feel like it is excerpted from a novel–it is perfectly lifted from the story and exists on its own 24 point plan.

As it starts out you kind of think this writer doesn’t exactly know what he is talking about.

Don’t they say a picture is worth a thousand words?  With a couple of mouse clicks, however, a writer can copy and paste an image of a painting right into their book.  Checkmate.

As the sections progress, they get even more insane.  If your protagonist is an anti-hero, they must earn sympathy.

If your character pets a stranger’s dog on the first page, you’ve bought yourself a nasty, insensitive comment on page two.

He says you want your protagonist’s name to be meaningful to them somehow, but don’t be too obvious about it.  To avoid being obvious, make them Irish or Jewish:

  • Strongstein
  • O’Brave
  • Basketballberg

It also turns out there’s some plot thrown into the tips–plot about his ex and about the publisher he is currently (harrassing) to get his book published.

I will definitely read this novel.  It sounds great.

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[ATTENDED: October 25, 2023] An Evening with Les Claypool’s Flying Frog Brigade

I have seen Les Claypool play with a variety of other people.  I’ve been a huge fan of Primus (although not their fans) and have always been interested in whatever Les has to offer.  I have seen him with the Claypool Lennon Delirium twice.  I really don’t need to see him any more, but there was one draw to this show–the band was going to play Pink Floyd’s Animals album straight through.

That’s one of my favorite albums and I knew that they would do a great job with it.

With the hindsight of two shows after this,  I can say that either I have no tolerance for people anymore or that people just have no clue how to behave at a concert.  This is Les Claypool, I expected lunacy and zaniness.  Costumes were encouraged for crying out loud.  It was supposed to be fun.

But there was a woman with calf-length dreadlocks slam dancing with nobody.  She just whipped her hair around and made everyone miserable.  I mean have fun, but don’t shit on everyone else’s party.  And there were two different men with deep booming voices on either side of me who just wouldn’t stop talking “No, that’s a bass saxophone.”  “Have you ever seen Claypool before?  He’s really good.”  During the freaking songs!

Holy shit.

So the band was pretty interesting.  Sean Lennon on guitar (so it was like seeing the Claypool Lennon Delirium, Harry Waters (Roger Waters’ son) on keys, the legendary Skerik on saxophone, Paulo Baldi (from Cake) on percussion, primarily vibes and a revelation on these songs.  And Mike Dillon on drums.

So pretty much all Claypool adjacent songs sound similar-thumping weirdo bass, varying guitar weirdness and everything else thrown on top.

They actually played songs from the Frog Brigade album, but I hadn’t listened to that in a pretty long time.  So I didn’t know the first two songs, but they were Primus-adjacent and there for interesting.

Their cover of The Beat’s “Mirror in the Bathroom” was super fun.  An early highlight of the night.  “That was worth the price of admission,” one of the loud jagoffs said loudly possibly three times, certainly twice.

There was the lengthy, trippy “Blood and Rockets” from the Delirium records.  And then an old Claypool song that I knew: “Hendershot.”  This is a simple straightforward song, a surf rock song that’s not all that weird.

However, the one big difference between the Frog Brigade and Primus is that the Frog Brigade is a jam band.  And they are more like a jazz jam band in which everyone gets a solo (except the drums, mercifully).   That meant that if one of them got a solo, you knew there were going to be three more.  Ho hum.  The saving grace was that they were chatting during the solos and Les is hilarious so any chat is good for me.  They were talking about surf rock with Les teasing Shiner (Sean) asking if that was the best surf rock guitar solo he had ever played.  Then he asked Harry about his surfing experiences and it was all in good fun.  But the loud jagoffs around me started complaining about this talking business.”  Play fucking music.”  I was pretty peeved by the end of the first set.

I seriously considered packing it in and going home.  But I knew the next set started with Animals and I really wanted to see that.

And I’m glad I didn’t leave because Animals was outstanding.

The set opened with Sean on acoustic guitar (on a stand) and Les singing Pigs on the Wing.  They jumped right into Dogs, the most rocking of the songs.  Sean’s guitar was great and Harry’s keys were perfect.  Paulo Baldi added delicate vibes here and there which really fleshed out the high notes wonderfully.  And Les’ bass was louder in the mix, letting us hear those bass lines properly.  Skerik was not included, which was great because there’s no sax (or need for it) on these songs.

In Pigs (Three Different Ones), everything was right on (even the crowd mostly settled down for these songs–except for the guy who kept bumping into me and the apologizing profusely.  Relax dude.  When it came to Dogs, everyone sang.  Sean sang the first line and when the long vocal note was held in the record, Les took over from Sean–sounding seamless and perfect.  It was really impressive.  Harry added vocals as well, and really, it was all a great exercise.

The ended as they begin with Pigs on the Wing and it was a glorious 40 minutes of music.

From there, they got back to the wild business of Claypool.  Precipitation was a rollicking fun song.

But I was thrilled to hear them play “Riddles Are Abound Tonight” a great song from Les’ first spin off band Sausage.  I never imagined that I’d get to hear this song live and it was absolutely great to sing “huh, hoy yo!”

I also really enjoyed Les’ first solo album the Holy Mackerel so it was fun to hear “Running of the Gauntlet.”

There was more soloing from each member and Skerik came back for the last few songs.

I didn’t recognize immediately when they started “Cosmic Highway.”  I knew it but wasn’t quite sure how well knew it.  But a soon as that cool riff started–and genuinely sounded like a sitar–I really enjoyed the lengthy jam.

And then Les left the stage for a minute or so.  And he came back with … the Whamola–essentially a metal stick with a bass string on it.  You hit it with a drum stick and change pitch with a handle at the top.  I’ve seen this in videos but it was amazing to see him play it live.  The song “Whamola” is weird and fun and invites participation from everyone.

I had originally thought I might leave early but I’m so glad I stayed to see Whamola!

I could have gone to the show in Montclair the night before instead of this one.  But upon seeing the setlist I’m glad I didn’t choose that one.  Yes, they got Thela Hun Gingeet as an opener, which would have kicked butt.  But I much preferred Mirror in the Bathroom, plus we got the Sausage song, a great Cosmic Highway and the exceptional Whamola.  So the crowd may have sucked but the music was pretty great.

 

  1. David Makalaster [with Southbound pachyderm tease]
  2. Lust Stings §
  3. Mirror in the Bathroom [The Beat cover]
  4. Blood and Rockets: Movement I, Saga of Jack Parsons – Movement II Too the Moon Æ
  5. Hendershot Ψ
    Pink Floyd: Animals
  6. Pigs on the Wing, Part 1  @
  7. Dogs @
  8. Pigs (Three Different Ones) @
  9. Sheep @
  10. Pigs on the Wing, Part 2 @
    SET TWO
  11. Precipitation Ψ
  12. Riddles Are Abound Tonight ℘
  13. Running of the Gauntlet Ψ
  14. Rumble of the Diesel §
  15. Cosmic Highway ⊗
  16. Whamola ⊗


@ PINK FLOYD: Animals (1977)
℘ SAUSAGE: Riddles are Abound Tonight (1994)
Ψ Les Claypool and the Holy Mackerel: Highball with the Devil (1996)
⊗ THE LES CLAYPOOL FROG BRIGADE: Purple Onion (2002)
§ LES CLAYPOOL: Of Whales and Woe (2006)
Æ THE CLAYPOOL LENNON DELIRIUM: South of Reality (2018)

 

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[DID NOT ATTEND: October 24, 2023] Les Claypool’s Flying Frog Brigade

This is yet another show that I bought a ticket for in Philly only to find out later that there was a show in Montclair.  Montclair is certainly easier for me to get to, although honestly I don’t live The Wellmont–I don’t know what it is, but I seem to have an iffy time when I go there.  Especially for a metal show.

I don’t think this is going to be a metal show, but I wonder who will show up.

By the same token, the last time I saw Primus, the meathead crowd was really high.  I hope they don’t come to my show since it doesn’t say Primus.

I’ll find out tomorrow.

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[DID NOT ATTEND: September 14-15, 2023] Eddie Izzard

I saw Eddie Izzard 20 years ago in Boston.  The show was hilarious and since then she has been one of my favorite comedians of all time.

When I saw that she was coming back to the States to tour I immediately went to the Kimmel Center site to grab tickets.  But they must have been on sale for a long time already because both shows were almost sold out.

The Thursday night show was the same night as the final Palm concert ever, so I couldn’t miss that and then the Friday night show, well, let’s just say that it would have been a real challenge getting my wife and I to Philly on a Friday night for a show at the Kimmel–especially after her first full week back to work.

So I had to give this one a miss.  She tends to record her shows so I hope this one gets a release because it promised to be revisiting some of the best bits over the last thirty some years.  (more…)

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[LISTENED TO: November 2022] Sinister Magic

I’m not sure what attracted me to this author.  I suppose she came up on my Chirp Audiobook suggestions and I was looking for something a little different.

I like fantasy, but sometimes it gets too much up its own world building of for me to get into the story.  I hadn’t really read much urban fantasy, but from the little I’ve read, I rather like it.  The stories feel contemporary and feature alternate-reality takes on things we already know.  And I rather like that.

Linday Buroker is a self-published author.  This typically raises a red-flag, but this book has almost 10,000 ratings on Goodreads, so it’s not like no one is reading her.  She is also absurdly prolific as you can see by the massive chart down below.

But what hooked me on this series was narrator Vivienne Leheny.  I don’t know much about her, but I absolutely loved her voices, her tone and her ability to really get sarcasm across (Buroker’s characters are very sarcastic).  And, amazingly, Leheny seems to read most if not all of Buroker’s books.

So, in summary, the main character is Val Thorvald.  As she says, “I’m an assassin.”  But she’s not that kind of assassin.  She only goes after “magical bad guys.”   When magical bad guys come to earth, she takes care of them. Permanently.

This doesn’t make her popular with the rest of the magical community.  But thanks to her half-elven blood, a powerful sword named Chopper, and a telepathic tiger with an attitude, she’s always been able to deal with any threats that come her way. (more…)

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[LISTENED TO: September 2023] Crush the King

I listened to the first and second book of this series pretty far apart.  But since I was looking for something new and I saw this I figured I’d finish the trilogy (I assume it’s a trilogy).

And perhaps listening to these books so close together made me notice a lot of Estep’s weird quirks about her writing.  Or maybe, she was obliged to write a longer book than she needed to.

I feel like Estep was once told that saying things in a series of three was really impactful.  And so she thought, if three is good, then I’ll wrote four!

If there was a Crown of Shards drinking game, it would be: every time she lists the four things people are doing.  Like: the people gave cheers, yells, claps and whistles. Or the people were drinking, dancing, singing and laughing.  Or they were yelling, cheering, clapping and whistling.  Or they were eating meats, cheeses, wines and ales.  Or she was spinning, turning, whirling and twirling.  The performers were acrobats, wire walkers, morphs and magiers.  And, finally, every time she lists her four friends (she does say “my friends” but often feels the need to group them into four: Paloma, Cho, Serilda and Ouster.  By the way, I only have the audio book so finding spellings of names is not easy.

This final book in the trilogy is set on an island for the Regalia Games, an opportunity for the seven nations to show off their warrior skills.  It’s also an opportunity for Evie to, as the title says, Crush the King.  In this case, the King is the hilarious named Maximus Mercer Morland Morricone or Morta.  I mean…

Anyhow, the arc of this series has been a little less than a year and every assassination attempt has come from Morta.  They come through the hands of the king’s bastard sister Maeven, but they come from Maximus.  And Evie has had enough.  She’s going on the offensive and will take him out at the games.  She has plans, but she hopes she doesn’t have to use her last resort [jump cut: she has to use her last resort].

Maximus is cartoonishly evil (he drinks the blood of magical animals to get their power, he’s willing to kill his young nephew to get ahead).  But the battle scenes are pretty good and I enjoyed hearing about the competition.

Despite my complaints there was a lot I liked about the book.  I enjoyed meeting Leonidas, Maeven’s son and his pet Strix, Lyra.  And I really enjoyed the flashbacks to when her family was killed and she had to escape.  The way the past tied to the present was well done.

But there are times when I just want to smack Evie (or Estep) and say, come on.  Evie is walking over a bridge and she notices a suspiciously dark boat in the water (twice).  But she doesn’t even mention it to her guards–yes, of course it comes into play later.  Evie believes that Paloma and Xenia are related.  And she’s almost 80% certain when it turns out that both of the people they were related to had the same name.  The fact that Paloma and Xenia never asked each other if they had people in common is absurd.  As is the fact that Evie finally tells Paloma and we don’t learn about the aftermath (it happens after the book, I guess).

Also, this book is a trilogy but somehow, there’s a new possible villain that has been around for the whole book but didn’t seem like a villain and might be one in the future.  The end.  No, that’s not how a trilogy ends.

I was happy that the secondary characters had more to do.  I love Cho and it’s fun to see him be gleeful about being the center of attention.  And I’m glad that Paloma got to battle.  But as several other people have pointed out (and Evie was even criticized about this on the book), she more or less does everything herself.  Paloma and Sullivan kind of help out a little once in a while, Serilda basically goes on one expedition with her.  We care about her friends but they don’t get to do much.

And on a personal level, I was really bummed that Gemma and Grimly are not even a part of this story.

And then there’s the whole Sullivan romance.  Several people have commented on how little chemistry they seem to have.  But, the biggest problem is that he doesn’t really do anything in the book.  If he wasn’t there, I’m not sure the story would have been any different, except for a (once again) remarkably graphic sex episode.

There’s a lot to enjoy in this series, but I think an editor chopping off some unnecessary bits would make the story flow a lot better.  Having said that, it’s a nifty world she has built and I enjoyed exploring it.

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[LISTENED TO: August 2023] Protect the Prince

It had been a while since I listened t o Book One of this series.  I feel like a book holds up well if you can get caught right up with the action without needing any kind of refresher.  And so it was with this.

The book picks up about six months after the events of Book 1.  Evie is now Queen Everleigh.  And she is slowly coping with her new role.

The first section of the book is called The First Assassination Attempt.

Everleigh has announced her first royal meeting of the royal families and assorted other important people. The royal families suck and are always conniving for something.  And before she can even begin speaking to them, one of the men steps up and tries to undermine her authority.  Among other things he suggests that his son should accompany her on her upcoming  trip abroad (which would more or less solidify them as a dating and soon to be married couple).

Everleigh is thrown off at first but soon regains her composure long enough to walk among the royals and reminding them of all of the ways they have insulted her to her face in the past.

But before she can savor even this minor victory, an assassin arrives with poison.  But Everleigh can smell poison and does not take the bait.  Soon enough they are fighting and when the assassin (who was sent by her nemesis Maven) realizes that there is no way out for her, she takes her own life rather than be captured. (more…)

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SOUNDTRACK: hiatus.

[READ: August 21, 2023] Remnants of Filth

First.  Unpack the name.

The author of this book is Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou (or Roubaobuchirou).  In Chinese that is 肉包不吃肉 which literally translates into Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat.  This last phrase is what she is commonly known as in the United States.

In Chinese the book was called Yuwu (余污) which translates into Pollution.  And the English title is Remnants of Filth.

Second.  What is this?

This book is danmei.  According to The Guardian:

Danmei is romantic fiction about men or male beings – ghosts, foxes, even a mushroom – falling in love, written almost exclusively by and for straight women and is the most popular genre of fiction in China.

Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat is a very popular danmei writer and her first book series The Husky and His White Cat Shizun is a bestseller.

This series is about two soldiers.  Mo Xi and Gu Mang.  (more…)

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[LISTENED TO: August 2023] An Absolutely Remarkable Thing

Unlike apparently everyone in the world, I had no idea who Hank Green was when I started this book.  This came recommended to me by Chirp as a fun read an the plot sounded good so I gave it a try.

When I told my kids about it they knew who Hank Green was (they knew him and his brother rom Crash Course).  I also didn’t know who is brother was.  Well, that’s not true, I had heard of John Green but didn’t know they were brothers and I’ve not actually read anything by John.  So, no expectations.

I was immediately hooked by the narrator of the audiobook, Kristen Sieh. I had no idea who she was either (evidently she’s in a ton of things as well as doing audio books).  There was something about the vulnerability she gave to the main character April May, that I just couldn’t stop listening.

So the premise is fairly straightforward.  Except for the way the narrative is structured.  The story is told as if it were all true and the reader knows what happened already.  She is telling a kind of personal version of monumental events.  She even talks about the day she died.  So, what?

But aside from that the story is simple.  April May is an art student who is working a crap job in New York City.  She is heading home later one night when she notices a giant statue in the middle of the sidewalk.  She is about to pass it by, but she decides to call her friend Andy, a fellow art student and filmmaker, to come and film this thing.  He does and they make a goofy video which the post to YouTube.

In the video, April talks about this robot which she calls Carl and asks Andy (as if he is a passerby, what he thinks about this.

It’s all weird and who even know where this thing came from–is it an ad for a movie or what?  They put the video up and laugh about it. (more…)

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