I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: ALPINE-Tiny Desk Concert #295 (August 12, 2013).

I was unfamiliar with Alpine before this show, so the blurb helpfully notes:

The Australian sextet crafts busily impeccable pop music with a danceable sway, prominent synths and the charming shared lead vocals of Phoebe Baker and Lou James. That’s a lot of ingredients to strip down to a semi-acoustic set in the NPR Music offices; there’s virtually no margin for error.  Thankfully, the two women at the band’s heart possess gorgeously interlocking, harmony-intensive voices that require no sweeteners.

Each of the women is fascinating in her own way.  I can’t not mention that Lou James, the dark-haired singer’s outfit is light blue two piece with the top and bottom attached by crossing strands of fabric (so technically it’s a one piece).  While the blonde-haired singer, Phoebe Baker is wearing a flowery dress over a long-sleeved shirt.  Her hair looks like if she unclipped it, it would be a huge nimbus around her head.  But appearances aside, their voices work perfectly together.  They do a lot of singing one note in a pretty staccato fashion (almost like horns).  Their voices meld beautifully, whether singing in harmony or chorus.

I love the little fiddly, interesting guitar chords of the first song, “Gasoline.”  The song doesn’t deviate that much from the beginning—it’s bouncy and catchy–because all of the focus is on the two singers.  It’s really a fun song that I can’t stop listening to.

the second song, “Villages,” opens with a gentle acoustic guitar.  It’s interesting that Baker’s voice is noticeably accented in this song.  Like when she sings “Why don’t you come,” or in the really groovy middle part when James is singing, “I can’t believe I’ve seen this love,” Baker sings “Ah Oh” but you can actually hear her accent in these single notes.

They mention that they were walking around D.C. but it was way too hot.  They saw the White House and the Lincoln memorial.  The guitarist went to the Air and Space Museum (but he’s English) and the drummer is jealous.

I really like the way the third song, “Hands” opens with the vocals singing in an enchanting staccato, “It’s okay to feel the rain on my hand my love.”  And again once the verses start the vocals are very Björk-like

The final song, “Softsides,” is one they’ve never done acoustically before.  It’s also the first time their drummer has played keyboards live.  Once again the vocals are fascinating and really engaging, with each singer doing little pieces of the delicate vocal line.

[READ: July 19, 2016] Dan vs. Nature

I judged this book by its cover and title and deemed it worthy of a read.

I loved the idea of “vs. nature” and didn’t really have any sense of what the book would be a bout but the blurb “an outrageously funny and wicked raunchy romp in the woods” sounded promising.

So I was very surprised that the book began with Dan getting beaten up by jocks (the scene was funny if not a little violent) and then going home to have dinner with his mom and the man he is meeting for the first time–who his mom says just asked her to marry him.

The reason he is getting beaten up by jocks is because of his best friend Charlie.  They have been friends forever and Charlie is super smart.  He’s also a major germaphobe and has been reading everything science-related since he was little.  Charlie is also the school photographer and when he tries to get the jocks to pose for a picture he calls them uriniferous homunculi. They don’t know what that means, but Charlie explains it to them.  So Charlie and Dan both get beat up for it. The gym teacher hears the ruckus and comes out and tells them to save their fighting for the wrestling meet.  Ugh.

The new soon to be step dad is Hank, a dentist and outdoor enthusiast. Dan has been through this with many many of his mom’s boyfriends over the years.  They all seem good until they reveal their true selves. None has every gone so far as to propose before, so this is new, but Dan is not fooled.

Hank makes them dinner (wild boar or some such thing) and Dan plans to sabotage this as much as he can (although he hates to admit just how good the meat is). Dan is about to sneak away from the revolting dinner scene when he learns of his mother’s plan for them to move into Hank’s place–which means moving schools, which means leaving Charlie and, more importantly, the woman of his dreams, Erin.

Erin is a beautiful girl.  He fell in love with her in like third grade and has spoken to her a couple of times but has never had the nerve to actually talk to her since he got, you know, awkward.  So instead, he draws pictures of her.  Dan wants to be a comic book artist and he’s really good.  Thus, the queen of his story is modeled after Erin.

The next day is Dan’s birthday and they go out to celebrate with a hockey game–Hank’s favorite sport and Dan’s most uncared about activity.  Some birthday party.  But Charlie’s idea was for Dan to sabotage things at this manly event.  So he tells Dan to have a heart to heart with Hank about the tiny size of his testicles–you know, make Hank really uncomfortable so he wants to bail on this family.

It goes pretty well–awkwardness ensued–until they get back home with his mom.  Hank kept his word and didn’t say anything to Dan’s mom, but she has a silly smile on her face because she has a surprise for the two of them–a week-long survivalist camping trip–no safety net, just back to nature with her two favorite men.

It is a total horror show and Dan can’t say no fast enough–except that he sees the look in his mom’s eyes and doesn’t want to hurt her.  What is he going to o?

What he’s going to do is go on this trip and use it as a way of getting Hank to flee for his life form his messed up almost-stepson.  And Dan ensures this will happen by bringing Charlie along.  (The one thing that didn’t rally pass the believability test for this was that Dan’s mom said it was hard to book this trip last-minute and it was really expensive–so how on earth does Charlie get to tag along?)  But aside from that, I can work with it,.

Charlie, as noted is a germaphobe and there is no way in hell that he will go on a camping trip in the wilderness  No way.  Until Dan reminds him of all the times that he stood with him and got beaten down.  Charlie reluctantly agrees  But he is pretty excited to work with Dan to get Hank to hate him–and perhaps get a little revenge on Dan for inviting him along at the same time.

The humiliations start small–Dan packs huge bottles of lotion and soiled tissues in his case which gets checked by security.  Charlie gives Dan something to make hm sick on the trip and he throws up all over Hank (this isn’t good for Dan either).  They plan for bad-smelling cheese as deodorant and even break Hank’s prized new phone (I feel like that went too far).

The pranks are over the top (and the phone is actually pretty dickish).  But then a wrinkle comes into the plan.

When they get to the camping trip, there’s a very pretty, very cool girl on the trip as well.  Her name is Penelope.  She is wearing a bad ass graphic novel shirt and is really funny.  She and Charlie spar immediately over smart things–she mocks all of his paranoia by citing incidents where he is wrong.

But suddenly Dan is self conscious about the things he plans to do–the laxative incident in particular seems like a bad idea in front of a hot girl.  But Charlie insists he go through with it–the end goal is more important than a hot girl–besides, what about Erin, his beloved?

Hank is clearly a little perturbed by Dan’s incidents–although they all seem like accidents–but he never lashes out at Dan.  In fact Dan never seems to get mad about any of it.  But he also doesn’t seem to be too happy to be on the trip either.

There’s a whole wonderful side plot about their guide and Penelope’s mom.  And the people who booked the “vacation” and are very funny.  But really, things seem to be okay–the miles of walking sucks, but the outdoors are pretty.

Until the bear spots them.

One of the things that Charlie packed was doe urine to get a buck to attack Hank.  But instead, he gives it to Dan (which, frankly is just insane).  And that smell seems to be enticing the bear who follows them around and causes all kinds of mayhem.

Soon enough people are separated and it’s just Dan, Charlie, Penelope and Hank running for their lives from a psychotic bear.  Add in to the mix that Dan accidentally shot Hank in the leg with an arrow (not part of the plan, but a good shot, right?) and Dan’s accidental use of poison ivy to wipe with (the joke that I thought went too far–too obvious). Add the fact that the bear has destroyed all of their camping gear so they have very few clothes left to wear–a half-naked girl is not going to help Dan keep his mind on Erin–and in fact, hasn’t his princess begun to look a bit more like Penelope in recent drawings?

So how will these four survive in the wilderness without their guide?  Well, they have Hank, who is a wilderness guy.  But why is he acting so insecure about his skills?

I enjoyed this book quite a lot. There were tons of very funny sequences and passages and the action was really intense and exciting.  A few things bugged me about the book.  Dan and Charlie go way overboard in trying to upset Hank.  And Hank was never shown to be a bad guy.  He doesn’t deserve the abuse frankly and it makes Dan and Charlie seem really bad for it.

Dan’s pining for Erin was also not really based on enough–I mean Penelope actually talked to him and seemed to have a lot in common with him.  It seemed  foolish that he would hold off from Penelope for a girl that he’s never really talked to.

The ending as pretty tidy–maybe a little too tidy, but I did really enjoy the way things played out on all fronts.   I especially loved the way Dan saved the day at the end–that was pretty darn clever.

With little suspension of disbelief (and  a tolerance for grossness) this is indeed a funny and raunchy romp in the woods.  Lots and lots of fun.