I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: TOP 20 MINECRAFT SONGS [Youtube link] (2014).

I genuinely didn’t know what to pair with this terrible book.

So, why not pair it with 20 Minecraft parodies.  In keeping with the terrible quality of this book, this link on YouTube counts down from 10 to 1 and then repeats songs and labels only some of them.  It’s a mess.  But it’s obviously made by a fan who wanted to string stuff together and isn’t trying to sell anything.

I will say that in general I really like the quality of the music that the parodists produce for these parodies.  They actually do try to recreate the sounds.  And they do a good job.

And C.  and T. love the TNT parody.  They have listened to it so much that when I heard the real song (Taio Cruz’ “Dynamite”) recently I thought I can’t believe they are playing that Minecraft song in this store.

And no I didn’t listen to the entire hour of this video.

[READ: January 3, 2016] Diary of a Minecraft Creeper

I saw this book in the library catalog and decided to get it for C.  since he loves Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Minecraft.  And as you can see from the cover this book is clearly appealing to fans of both (by ripping off both, obviously).

I picked up the book and was shocked to see the that the font was I would say 22 pt double spaced on every page.  There are basically 11 lines of text per page with some blank pages between chapters. You could, literally, read this in 3 minutes.  Which C. did.  And then he said. It is terrible.  Well, but I guess it is funny.

So he asked that I read it.  And it is terrible.  And maybe funny if you are 10.

I can only hope that it was written by a ten year old and that his parents vanity published it for him. 

For something so short, how could it have so many problems?  The creeper is born on day 1 and says his first memory is of his heartbeat.  But wait…he says he doesn’t have ears but he could still hear it.  Okay.  Fine.  But then if he doesn’t have ears why can he hear the pig on the next page?

And of course there is the whole problem of assuming the creeper knows nothing since he was just born but also knowing a lot of things, like what a pig or a horse or a person or anything else is.

Not to mention, if your book is as short as this, you should be able to fix the sentence “The person turned around slowly around and a look of pure creeped out horror came across his face.”

So basically the story is that the creeper sees Steve (he decides to name the person Steve, of course) and feels that if he hugs Steve, Steve won’t be afraid of him.  Of course, it has been established that the creeper has no arms, so how will he hug Steve?  Whatever.  (Incidentally, this book has been reissued as Hugs Of A Creeper: An Unofficial Minecraft Creeper Diary (Diary Of A Minecraft Creeper Book 1).

I hate to harp on this so much as it is obviously a goof meant in good fun.  But it was just so bad that I don’t want anyone else to waste the time on it (or get excited that it might be something good).  I am offended that it is in print (with an ISBN!) and that someone (my library, at least) paid for it.  If Alex Brian is an adult, he should be embarrassed (and not have a whole series of these books out, which he seems to).  If Alex Brian is a child, then all is forgiven–except for whoever decided to self-publish these books and make money off of this scam.

Keep away!

(And I know, lighten up).