I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: THE RED RIVER-Tiny Desk Concert #97 (December 13, 2010).

The Red River are a ten piece band (whom I have never heard of).  They have two keyboardists, a drummer, a violist, a french horn player and guitars and vocals.  But in this Tiny Desk, the band decided to remove all of their instruments, save for the guitar, and to sing four of their songs more or less a capella (such is the coolness of the Tiny Desk).

The first song “Milk n’ Honey” is completely a capella and they kind of make each other laugh at a few moments (where maybe their instruments might have covered up some unsightly notes).

“Morning Routine” begins with just guitar and duet vocals.  Again, they seem to be trying to make each other laugh when after the line “the kitten cries,” the lead singer makes some kitten noises.  The chorus of backing vocals sounds wonderful here.

[READ: November 12, 2015] The Secrets to Ruling the School

I saw this book when I was in Chapters Bookstore in Toronto.  I was happy to see it again in my library, so I checked it out.

The premise of the book is familiar–getting by in Middle School–although this book takes it a few steps further.  Not just getting by in Middle School, but actually ruling it.

And the structure is cool.  You are the person who will soon rule Middle School.  And you will be tutored by Max Corrigan.  Max meets you on your first day.  He’s a clean cut kid with a binder full of information.  He is the school’s Welcoming Committee.  But as soon as you open his Official New Student packet, you see that Page 2 describes the school as The Worst Place in the Entire World.  And that Max will help you survive bullies, tests, hall passes, psycho teachers and even ditching class.

And his plan is simple–makes friends with every clique in school as quickly as possible.

Starting with class clowns, Max gives you all kinds of ammunition to become the funniest kid in school (cartoon gags are included).  You (the reader) are funny, but Max doesn’t need competition in the class clown department.  Rather, he would like you to help him change the cartoon in the school newspaper (the terribly lame Helper Harry).  And all you need to do is become friendly with the artists.  (Max gives suggestions for how to do this of course).  Which leads you to meet the coolest artist in school who is known only as Eraser Head.

The only way Eraser Head will help you is if you talk to the band geeks about giving up their space.  And they’ll only help if you can get their band candy sold (without alienating the football team).  And they only way that will work is if you get the super nerd in school to work out a deal with the super hot chicks who will…well you get the problem.  Befriending every clique is hard.

And its even harder when Max has a nemesis–Kevin Carl (never trust anyone with two first names).  And Kevin Carl is in the business of making new kids cool too.  But his kid is a tough guy who guns right for YOU!

And of course, some of the activities you have planned aren’t exactly school sanctioned, so if (when) you get caught by the principal, you’d better have some good explanations at hand.

In addition to school assistance, he offers some very good secrets to cracking common passwords (1234566, letmein, monkey), as well as how to get avoid teachers in the halls and who to make friends with in school so that they will might vouch for you (become friendly with the janitor!).

Of course, if after one week you haven’t appeased all seven major school groups, consider your life over.  Even if Max is sorry.

The book ends with the promise of a continuation–riding your popularity to political office.  I’m pretty curious to see what kind of trickery Max has up his sleeve for this one.