I Just Read About That…

  SOUNDTRACK: UNIVORE-“Vampire” (2013).

I never watch the ads that come before Youtube videos.  But this came on as an ad and I was utterly mesmerized by it.

I didn’t even know what it was for.  Turns out that Univore is a band and “Vampire” is one of their songs.  The 1 minute ad video was actually the whole thing.

It’s got a simple buzzy synthesized riff, backing vocalists singing “Oh yea” when appropriate and an occasional deep voiced man saying “vampire.”  The video is of an older gentleman (who a little research suggests is Marco Casale) dressed like a vampire running around a small green space on a campus.  The whole video looks like it took 15 minutes to film.  It is weird and wonderful.

I still know nothing about Univore, which may be for the better, but I did enjoy this video.

[READ: April 6, 2014] Grantland #9

I’m surprised that there aren’t better cover images online for these books.  For #8 i had to use one with a big flash in the middle of it and this one is the illustration from the Grantland website.  The books are quite pretty so why uses these pale imitations?

So this issue proved to be a lot better about weird typos and “we just took this from the web and pasted it and never bothered to check to see if there was anything weird” problems.  So thanks for at least running it through Spellcheck.  The only other thing left is to either remove the lines that talk about attached links/images if they are not there or to include the url or make up a tiny url (but that would be actual work!).  Oh, and please make sure all of the footnotes are included.

I have given up on ever finding out how these things turned out several months after the fact–I’ll just happily live in ignorance of reality there.

This issue was taken from during basketball’s downtime which was a nice change (even though the still managed to talk about basketball).  There was more pop culture and some wonderful articles about team nicknames and mascots–something I absolutely love.  So this is one of my favorite issues overall. 

And the coloring/activity book that came with it was awesome.

WESLEY MORRIS-“Strange Fruitvale”
This article looks at how the movie Fruitvale (a low-budget movie) is eerily similar to the Trevon Martin killing, even though it was made before it happened.

BILL SIMMONS-“The Eagles’ Greatest Hits”
Even though I dislike the Eagles quite a lot, I loved this article about Simmons watching their documentaries and their absurd amount of drugs and in-fighting.  The quotes are fantastic and even though i don’t especially want to watch it, I loved reading about it.

JORDAN CONN-“A Death in Valdosta”
This is a lengthy article about a boy who was found dead in his gymnasium at school.  It was ruled an accident, but people feel that can’t be right.  A very sad story of suspicion and lack of truth.

BILL BARNWELL-“The Case for Nomentum”
I really enjoyed this article which looks at the falsity of “momentum.”  How many teams actually use momentum (either a turnover or last-minute goal) to actually win a game. Fewer than you might think.

BRIAN PHILLIPS-“The British Empire Rises Again”
Andy Murray wins Wimbledon for the Brits!

ZACH LOWE-“Bobcats and Blazers and Spurs, Oh My!”
I loved this article which ranked NBA team nicknames on a variety of characteristics.  The worst: The Brooklyn Nets.  The best: Portland Trail Blazers

ANDY GREENWALD-“The Scene of the Crime”
The end of Breaking Bad (which was much more violent than I would have expected).

ANDREW SHARP-“The Two Sides of Sports”
About Tyrann Mathieu who was kicked off of football for smoking pot and how it was handled.

MARK HARRIS-“Can Johnny Depp’s Career Be Saved?”
Depp seems to hide behind makeup and prostheses, so we never actually see him.

AMOS BARSHAD, REMBERT BROWNE, HUA HSU, and ALEX PAPPADEMAS-“Jigga, Pushing Sixty”
What can Jay-Z do next, panel?

MOLLY LAMBERT-“The Tao of Miley”
Lessons we can learn from Miley Cyrus (like that she took a risk and it paid off)

JONATHAN ABRAMS-“The Forgotten Phenom”
Yet another article about a forgotten basketball player.  This one was the improbably named Korelone Young.

CHRIS RYAN-“The Riggin’ for Wiggins Race is a Wrap”
The Sixers need help.

ALEX PAPPADEMAS-“No New Friends”
A fascinating look at Arsenio Hall’s new talk show (which I didn’t even realize was real).  There are some great quotes in this article as well).  Like this:

The whole episode felt like a time capsule, and then Arsenio actually wheeled out a motherfucking time capsule, which turned out to be full of silly prop-based gags about present-day celebrities whose existence Hall seemed only dimly aware of. (Ex: Arsenio pulls out a pacifier with a comically oversize joint attached to one end and says it once belonged to “Lil Weezy” [sic].) It felt like Late Night With a Guy Who’s Been in That Oldboy Room for 20 Years. It felt like Arsenio had somehow unearthed 20-year-old jokes about George Zimmerman and Aaron Hernandez and Breaking Bad. It felt like time was broken.

DAVID SHOEMAKER-“Preparing for the Car Crash”
All about how Triple H has been helping to run the WWE.  I really enjoyed this article about the past and future of wrestling and how they admit that it si entertainment now.  Triple H is an article and funny guy.

STEVEN HYDEN-“The Loneliness of the Alt-Rock Anniversary”
Hyden mistakenly claims that the Counting Crows’ August and Everything After was a great album.  He does not conclude that the singer is a whiny irritant.

BRIAN PHILLIPS-“Crying Out Loud”
Is Landon Donovan happy playing soccer?   The guy took a mental health break and came back an even better player–don’t let other sports hear about this!

ANDY GREENWALD-“Tasteless”
How the Food Network has destroyed culinary TV by encouraging personalities rather than chefs.

BILL SIMMONS-“A Prime-Time Dilemma”
Do you watch live football or a great TV show like Breaking Bad?  I love Simmons; solution.  Watch the first quarter of the game until Breaking Bad is 15 minutes in.  Then watch all of Breaking Bad, watch the quarter that you missed on DVR and then watch the final two quarters live.

RANY JAZAYERLI-“Mike Trout’s Opening Act”
Mike Trout sounds like an astonishing player.  I hope he won the award they’re talking about.

REMBERT BROWNE-“Rembert Explains Texas”
Rembert drives through Texas.  This was another hilarious article.  I loved his explanation of “White Settlement” and the El Paso-Mexico border.

CHRIS RYAN-“All Hail Chip Kelly”
The Eagles seem to actually like playing with each other and that’s fun to watch even if they don’t win.

ZACH LOWE-“The New Orleans Name Game”
The New Orleans Pelicans should be known as the Pellies.

TOM CARSON-“Ten Years Gone”
Why does no one talk about The O.C.?

EMILY YOSHIDA-“Lost to the Ages”
A look back at Myst, and how such a ground breaking game…did not usher a revolution of similar games.

MOLLY LAMBERT-“Grand Theft Auto V’s Woman Problem”
Why are there no main characters who are women in this game?  Women are gamers too.

BRIAN PHILLIPS-“In the Dark”
The twentieth anniversary of The X-Files.  Wow.

ALEX PAPPADEMAS-“Andy, Are You Goofing on Elvis?”
The discovery of lost Andy Kaufamnn audio tapes that were recently released. They sound dark and twisted.  Also, was Andy serious when he was wrestling?  No one really knows for sure.

JAY CASPIAN KANG-“On Surfing”
The U.S. Open of surfing at Huntington Beach.

SHEA SERRANO-“Tuesday Night Lights”
Middle school football in Texas from a coach.

TOM BISSELL-“Poison Tree”
More Grand Theft Auto V.  This is a letter to Niko Bellic who is either the creator or a character in the game.

SEAN McINDOE-“How to Fix Hockey”
I loved McIndoe’s suggestions for improving hockey.  I think they are all sensible and would make for a more interesting game.

WESLEY MORRIS-“Baseball’s Swagger Problem”
Baseball is afraid to show off its power players because of the doping scandal.

MICHAEL PHILBRICK-“Playing the ‘What If’ Game”
What if medical advances were this far along in the 70s and 80s when players were injured–an example of several career ending injuries.

MARK LISANTI-“Derek Jeter’s Diary”
Always funny–this one imagines A-Rod as a minotaur.

~~~

As you can see by how many articles I really enjoyed, I thought this was a great issue.  There were a lot fewer statistic-heavy articles and a lot more fun/speculative ones.  This is what I like best about Grantland–good writers being funny about things they love.