I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE-“SexyBack” (2006).

I don’t know much of Justin Timberlake (he’s not my jam).  Although I have found him very enjoyable in the last few years when he’s been acting.  His comedy skills are great.  And Of course, I love him with Lonely Island (the guy can sing).

This story mentions this song as the main character’s favorite song so I gave it a listen.  It strikes me as an extremely unlikely single.  The music is really erratic and mechanical.  There’s just bursts of sound that keep the beat going.  Although the music is very visceral..

Indeed, the main melody seems to be his voice, which doesn’t let up a lot.  The first time I heard it I thought there was no way it could have been a hit, which shows what I know about popular as it was #1 for 7 weeks. It’s such an unusual song, and musically I find it very odd, which I like quite a bit.

I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed the song (maybe I’m a dance diva at heart).

Take ’em to the story.

[READ: March 25, 2012] Arach nID (to be one thing)

Almost nine months ago, Planer asked me to read this short story.  He has since revised it and expanded it, making it about 16,000 words.

It’s funny to read something that has been revised and which now makes you think that the original wasn’t nearly as good.  I enjoyed the first version a lot, but the revisions improved the story so much it makes the first draft seem pale.  This is obviously good news for the revision, but it means that when referencing the original it makes it seem less than it was.

The same story is in place–the main character is a sentient spider who grows to human size and believes, because of his sentience, that he may indeed be human.  After leaving the web and his (dangerous) mother and sisters, he seeks his fortune in the human world.  Luckily for him he lives in the 2000s, where he can do most things remotely and virtually.  But he manages to pass in the human world (especially on Halloween, a great scene indeed).  He even manages to meet someone interesting (who is almost as smart as him).  Ultimately he must decide is he is really human or arachnid.

While I obviously didn’t have the first draft memorized, I could tell a lot of the scenes that were kept (although I’m not sure if anything was removed–actually it seems like maybe some of the overly technical stuff in the beginning was trimmed).  But it’s the additions that really flesh out the story and add so much depth the main character.  He really comes across as a voracious consumer, enjoying Ovid, Modest Mouse and Justin Timberlake with equal delight.

One of the great additions to the story was his date with a lady he meets through the personals.  The date goes surprisingly well, until he takes her home.  I really enjoyed that in his personal ad and in his thought process during the date he assumes that when they mate she will bite his head off.  And the way it is written when they finally do kiss is hilarious.

The narrator is a little more assured and consistent now.  He is still confident and cocky, but he’s less prone to some of the excesses from the earlier version.  He also seems a little more well-read and more diverse in his quotations.  But all of the big scenes are still here and they seem more fully realized.

I gave a few suggestions for tweaking bits and I think with a little tightening the story could be even more awesome.  It’s a treat to read.