I Just Read About That…

SOUNDTRACK: BLUE ÖYSTER CULT-Fire of Unknown Origin (1981).

This was the first BOC album that I bought.  The video for “Burnin’ for You” was all over MTV (although I don’t remember it at all, now).  And I was an instant convert to BOC.  I listened to this disc constantly.

It took going to college and meeting my roommate before I got any other BOC discs (he was a diehard fan).  And while I like most of their releases, this one still ranks as number one for me.  BOC had been getting poppier and lighter over the years, there’s no question.  But this album perfected this mix, making for a supremely catchy recording that still exhibited all of their metal trademarks: wild guitar solos, bizarro futuristic lyrics (although there’s no weirdo titles on this one) and heavy heavy chords.

The opener, “Fire of Unknown Origin” is a wonderful rocking song.  It sets the tone for the disc: keyboards, yes, but of the atmospheric/spooky variety, not the poppy/hit single variety.  “Burnin’ for You” seems like an obvious single, and so it was. It also screams early 80s to me, which I guess isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

But the album’s wonderful weirdness kicks in with “Veteran of the psychic Wars” written by Michael Moorcock. It was featured in the movie Heavy Metal, and is weird and creepy, propelled by thunderous drums and a great guitar riff: a sci-fi masterpiece.  “Sole Survivor” is in the same vein, Eric Blooms ragged voice and the awesome bass line really sell the song.

The middle track is “Heavy Metal (Black and Silver)”  It is heavy heavy heavy and it rocks like all get out with a screaming feedback solo.  It’s an awesome song that seems more than a little out of place on this rather light sounding disc (although even on their later discs, they have included an occasional heavy track).

“Vengeance (The Pact)” is a keyboard-fueled track.  But the greatness is that it’s Lanier’s spooky keyboards.  It also features an awesome middle section with heavy heavy guitars and dark lyrics.  “After Dark” is another wonderfully creepy keyboard song.  The underlying riff is sinister and cool, and the lyrics (and harmonies) meld the “band vocals” on some of their more “hit single” songs, with the oddness that keeps BOC interesting.

But by far the creepiest, most sinister and flat out weird song is “Joan Crawford.”  When I first heard this song back in 1982, I had no idea who Joan Crawford was.  Finding out later that she was a real person has messed with my head for my entire life.  I have never seen a film with her in it and am just convinced that she’s a scary, scary woman (the whispered “Christina…mother’s home” really did me in).  Interestingly, I don’t find the song spooky (although I do get chills if I’m paying attention), but I still find her spooky.  It opens with a pseudo-classical piano riff and then bursts out with menacing metal chords.  The chorus “Joan Crawford has risen from the grave!” complete with squeaky violins proceeds until and the break with sound effects that imply Crawford’s life, I assume: car crashes, race tracks, telephones, babies crying and the whispered “No.”   And it’s all catchy as hell.

“Don’t Turn You Back” ends the disc as something of a mellowing out after Joan Crawford.  It features a great solo and rather soothing choruses (despite the warning that you shouldn’t turn your back).  And it features the ever confusing line: “You use that special option in your car”  (what could that BE?).

Why on earth hasn’t this disc gotten a deluxe reissue from Columbia>?

[READ: March 3, 2010] Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I received this book as a prepub Advanced Readers Copy and hoped to have it finished before the book actually came out, but I was shy of it by a couple of days (rats).

So Grahame-Smith wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.  His was pretty much the first in what has become an ever increasing series of literary mash-ups: using “classic” texts as a basis and inserting a seemingly random (usually horror) element.  The genre is already close to jumping the shark, although realistically, you never know when a combination is going to work wonders.

I wasn’t really that interested in the follow up to P&P&Z: Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters.  When I first heard of it I was intrigued, but watching the promotional video for the book actually turned me off of it.  I’m intrigued that a new title: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls is written by a different author, but I have to assume that it will be all original as there’s no prequel to P&P itself.  And I have to admit I like the title of the upcoming Jane Slayre (for Jane Eyre).

But the things about P&P&Z were that it kept the original text (mostly) intact, and there were a number of things in the original that actually led to inserting zombies into the text.

Plus, Grahame-Smith matched the tone of the original perfectly.  The forthcoming mashups will have a lot to prove but I think some cream will definitely rise to the top.

So, Grahame-Smith’s new book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is sort of a mashup.  Unlike P&P&Z, there is no source text to blend.  Rather, Seth Grahame-Smith, who is a character in the introduction of the book is given the “secret” diary of Abraham Lincoln, under provision that he write up the real story of our 16th president.  The secret diary reveals not only that our country was plagued by vampires but that Lincoln himself was personally impacted by them.

There are three sections to the book: Boy; Vampire Hunter; President.

Of the three, I think I enjoyed the Boy section the most.  It details Lincoln’s relationship with his father (very bad) and how it was his father’s questionable dealings that got the Lincoln family mixed up with vampires.  When Abe’s father reneges on a promise to a vampire, the vampire’s revenge is swift.  But he takes his revenge on Abe’s beloved mother: her life is quickly sucked away.

When Abe realizes the truth, he vows revenge on all vampires.  But when he hunts down and tries to kill his first vampire, he realizes just how strong they are.  This first vampire has him dead to rights until she herself is killed by a “traitor.”  This traitor, whose name is Henry, is an old vampire (pushing 400) who rebels against the vampires who kill the young and innocent.  (Henry’s motivations are a little vague, which is something of a flaw; however, using the mythology of Buffy and Angel, the “good” vampire trope is not unreasonable).

What I loved about Henry, and this was a conceit I had not heard before, was his explanation of the exhaustion of being a vampire.  When you are a young vampire, you are wild and crazy with bloodlust.  After your first 100 years, you desire to nourish your mind: reading everything you can, travelling, seeing the world, enjoying your the spoils of your life.  After your second 100 years you’ve done verything.  Which is why so many 300 year-old vampires kill themselves.  They’ve had it.  Henry concludes, “Only the very strongest of us–those possessing exceptional will, and driven by a timeless purpose–survive into our fourth or fifth centuries and beyond (76).

Henry also explains the origin of vampires in the United States (the first one came across with the Jamestown settlers), but not the origin of vampires themselves.  He reckons that they are a race of beings unto themselves.  And he would like to live peaceably with humans.

Over the next several months, Henry trains Abe to fight vampires.  And by the time their training is done, Abe is a formidable slayer.  Henry promises to send him anonymous updates about particular vampires who are worthy of his “attention.”  They are mostly those who feed on the young and innocent.

Abe’s travels take him to New Orleans, where he witnesses his first slave auction.  It is established early in the book that Abe felt great sympathy for the slaves, feeling their humanity from an early age.  When he arrives in New Orleans, he is distraught by the slave auction, but even more distraught when he sees the vampire connection.

And this little move of Grahame-Smith’s was quite wonderful.  He ties slavery and vampirism with the reasonable premise that no one will mourn or miss slaves, so they are easy prey.  And the vampires make deals with the slave owners, so that they offer the vampires, the crippled and lame slaves.

As the story progresses, we learn that many senators are corrupt and are ready to give into Vampire special interests (a nice dig at contemporary politics…I wonder if it was true back then as well) and push for slavery to be made legal across the United States.  Abe is opposed to this from the get go, but even more so when he deduces that a slave-fueled country will mean an influx of more and more vampires.  Soon enough, no humans will be safe.

What is so fanatic about this story is that it does not play around with the facts of Abe’s life.  All of the people that Grahame-Smith introduces in the book were real, from Clary’s Grove Boys (Jack Armstrong becomes a vampire hunter), to Mary Todd and all of his children, these were people who impacted historical Abraham Lincoln.  I’m a little unclear if Lincoln ever met Edgar Allan Poe.  They were alive at the same time (born in the same year in fact) and Lincoln was definitely aware of Poe, but my little research shows no evidence of them being friends.

I loved the depiction of Poe nonetheless.  Poe is aware of the vampires and is sort of in awe of them (he too knows a “friendly” vampire).  Lincoln is confused by this admission, and wonders, if he likes them so much why he doesn’t join them.  But in a great characterization, Poe says, “Is not our existence long and miserable enough? … Who in God’s name would seek to prolong it?” (107).

The rest of the story detailsLincoln’s rise into the Presidency, his dealing with the slavery issue and the civil war and [spoiler alert?] his assassination.

And all in all, the story retains a wonderfully strong narrative.  The “excerpts” from Lincolns diary are intriguing and fun, and the story that is built around the diaries is well told and keeps pretty close to the style of the diaries.  It’s not the same as in P&P&Z where he tries to fit texts together in the same voice.  Rather, he tells the story and excerpts from the lost diary.

Many criticisms have (already) been levelled at him for trivializing the President.  In no way is that valid.  Not only does he revel in the truths of Lincoln’s life, but he emphasizes Lincoln’s steadfast dedication to learning and to a united United States.  I myself have not read much in the way of Lincoln.  I admit to knowing very little about his life.  But this story has given me even greater respect for the man, beyond his excellence as a President.  It makes me want to read more about Lincoln himself.

And in particular, I’m leaning towards Doris Kearns Goodwin’s biography.  Grahame-Smith singles out Goodwin (as well as David McCullough) as an inspiration and guiding light.  So, when WBUR in Boston played an on air conversation with Seth Grahame-Smith, a special visit by Doris Kearns Goodwin was really quite cool.  She rather raves about the quality of the Seth’s research, and even observes that Lincoln himself would have likely enjoyed the story.

The book is a little more gorey and violent than I would have anticipated.  Now obviously, there is murder and death, but I wasn’t sure how graphic the story would be.  Unlike in Buffy, where the vamps burst into dust, these vamps die, bloodily and horribly.  And when Abe is young, her relishes in the bloodshed.  So, be forewarned if you are faint of stomach.

The book dragged a little bit in places (I felt the second section in particular to be a little slow), but overall I really enjoyed it and found it clever and thought-provoking Not bad for a jokey book).  So, completely ignore Lisa Schwarzbaum’s pathetic review in Entertainment Weekly who summarizes: “we learn that all the usual historical bad guys were vampires. Fangs for nothing.”  This is a simplistic and insulting summary of the book.  And it is also untrue.  Seth is pretty careful not to make too many real people vampires (although there are some).  Schwarzbaum is a film critic, so I’ve no idea why they got her reviewing books too, but she misses the mark wide on this one.

I only wish thee was a bit of an epilogue, featuring the fictional Seth’s mysterious visitor.  Of course, realistically, what could they possibly say to each other in the end?  But it would have been a nice tidy conclusion.

For ease of searching I include: Blue Oyster Cult