I Just Read About That…

I’m popping this updated review into its own post because it’s quite different from my original review and it seems like it should be by itself.

The first time I read this story, I was too conscious of DFW’s own fight with depression and his suicide.  And since this piece is about someone with depression (and it’s in the first person) it really seemed a little too nonfictiony to be actual fiction.

As I thought about it more, though, I realized that this was not a nonfiction piece.  There were obviously things that didn’t happen to DFW; even if they seemed thinly veiled, this narrator was obviously not him.  So I decided to re-read the story with this new attitude.

And reading it like this, it actually became a moderately humorous tale, rather than the harrowing tale that I read the first time through.  It’s still a rather shockingly intimate look at depression and the obvious pain that the narrator is in; however, he (DFW & the narrator) also exhibits bits of humor in the proceedings.

Throughout the story, the narrator says that he’s a “troubled little soldier” or some variant of the “little soldier” motif, which as a choice of words is strangely amusing.  He also, in a sort of nod to Holden Caulfied, keeps talking about not wanting to be “glib” while detailing some of the horrible experiences he’s had, “I’m not incredibly glib, but I’ll tell you what I think the Bad Thing is like.”

There’s also the amusing connection he makes with a young woman named May who was “unfortunately very pretty.”  She is wearing her turtleneck inside out (and the reason why is a funny bit that I’ll not reveal).  He forms a strong rapport with her, even later thinking that he may be in love with her.  Which is why it’s quite sad that he introduces her as “no longer living.”

The story ends abruptly in mid-sentence, almost as if the whole tale is circular. (Or in a foreshadowing of all of his other stories that seem to end without being over).  It’s still a shocking story, although if you can distance yourself from the author, the shocking bits seems less personal, less intimate, just something that happens to a character.

There’s also a weird little thing in the story in which the narrator seems younger than he actually is.  It feels like that narrator’s development has been arrested from when he was a precocious youngster.  And I think that may be the subtext of what the antidepressants do to the young man.

It’s definitely not for everyone, especially if you’re not up to a story about depression and suicide.  But you can definitely see that he is trying to use the depression as a way to see the bright or humorous side of a bad situation.